That Awkward Moment from Irichan:

The awkward moment when your five year old nieces ask you what a seme, uke, and yullen are. What's more awkward is how and who they heard it from...

Thanks, Irichan!

Situation

Chapter 50: Clothes and Diapers and Toys, Oh My!

"Can we go out today?" I ask, rubbing little circles into Kanda's stomach while his hand did the same to my lower back. It had been several days since I had been sick, and I'm all better now. My feline appendages also are gone, much to Kanda's disappointment. Glancing down at me, he says, "If you want to, we can, but did you have somewhere in particular in mind?"

Nodding, I inform, "The baby's due in mid-March or early April, so we have to go shopping."

Without replying, he groans and uses his extra hand to grab a pillow and covers his face with it. Laughing, I try to tug the pillow away to no avail, "Come on, Kanda, don't be like that. I thought you were happy about the baby."

"I am, but that doesn't mean I want to go shopping for one. I don't know the first thing about being a father," he grumbles into the pillow.

"Neither do I, but that's why I'm going to drag Lenalee along, too," I explain, easing his face out of the poof he was holding against it. Finally releasing it, he replaces the covering with me, pressing our lips together softly, and I quickly react, rolling so he was hovering over me while I open my mouth in order to deepen the kiss.

My fingers twist themselves into his hair, loving the soft silkiness of the dark ribbons, and I wrap my legs around my boyfriend's waist, wanting to get closer somehow as his tongue battles mine for dominance, which he wins obviously. When we break apart for air, he smirks, "Pushy today, are we?"

I was panting too hard to reply to the loving jab and instead undo the first button of his shirt I was wearing, glancing up innocently while tightening my legs' grip on him. Leaning down, he huskily says into my neck, "Pushy, pushy, pushy. Haven't you heard of patience?"

Making a mewling sound as he sucks on my collarbone, I whisper, "You love it, and you know it."

"That may be, but I'm still more rational than you when it comes to you," he mutters between nibbles on the forming mark. After a moment, he pulls away, running his tongue over his lips like he'd just eaten a feast, and I pout, "Why'd you stop?"

"I think I prefer cuddling in the mornings," he smirks, using one hand to unhinge my legs from around him before falling to his side next to me.

"Maybe I'm a little horny this morning," I say, moving to half straddle, half sit on his stomach. He doesn't reply, but seems to relax under me as if he was waiting for me to begin, and begin I do, just with a little bit of a different introduction.

Raising up enough to move him, I gently flip him to his stomach before resting on his lower back, brushing away the hair in the way, and then I start running my hands over his shoulders, adding pressure here and there until I hear him gasp in discomfort. Going back to the spot above his right shoulder blade, I press into the knot with my thumbs, tenderly trying to work it out, and I say, "You're really tense, Kanda. Why is that? You haven't been on missions lately."

"It's not like I can help it when I get knots, but they hurt like―AH!" he breaks off with a gasp mixed with a groan before biting the pillow under his head. Giggling, I mimic his low tone of voice and say in his ear, "Don't do that. I want to hear you."

Rolling his eyes, Kanda releases the pillow, "Haha, very funny."

It takes a little more work, but soon, the knot was gone, and I think that Kanda's face was more relaxed than normal. Part of me I think expected him to have more knots on his back, but I think he was just tense overall, nothing my hands couldn't handle. When I had finished massaging him, I snuggled up next to him, and he teased, "What happened to being horny?"

"I gave up," I muttered, pulling the sheet higher over us just as the door burst open, revealing the rabbit and Lenalee. My arm immediately shot out over Kanda so he wouldn't go homicidal on the idiotic duo, but even though I could feel his breathing become heavy with rage, he didn't make any moves and flopped down on his pillow. Glancing at the two standing in the door, I mutter, "At this point you might as well come in."

Nodding, Lenalee closed the door while Lavi jumped on my old bed and chattered, "Why aren't you guys up yet? We're ready to go baby shopping!"

"Do you know how weird that sounded, Baka Usagi?" my boyfriend grumbled while sitting up, and I followed, feeling slightly possessive of him since he was shirtless. There wasn't any time to dwell on the thought since there was a small, kittenish cry, a Lavi-like yelp, and a brain dead rabbit falling off the top bunk flat on his butt. Whacking him, Lenalee scolds, "Lavi, don't mess up their room!"

Pointing with a wide eye toward the top bunk, he stutters, "There's a-a really, r-really, really big b-b-bug up t-there!"

"Ice, did you scare Lavi?" I ask, looking at the bottom of the mattress above my boyfriend and me.

"Meow?" she cries, a white flash leaping from the bed and landing beside me. Smiling, I pat her head, "Now, go lick on him!"

Nodding, the she-cat hopped into the floor before chasing the rabbit, who started running around like I'd unleashed a Sir Komlin on him.

oO_Oo_oO_Oo

In a good two hours, we were entering some sort of baby store called "Babies R Us". The five of us, including Fou, had eaten a quick breakfast and then after Lenalee swung by her brother's office to ask him something, we piled into the black limo with Reever as our driver.

"Which do you think we should go to first, Fou: clothes or diapers and such?" Lenalee said, glancing two different directions as Lavi, Kanda, and I stood there like clueless morons, which we were.

Looking at the options, Fou replied, "We can start with clothes and make our way over."

"Sounds good. Come on, idiot boys," Lenalee laughed as she began walking toward the right side of the store. Holding onto Kanda's bicep, I mutter as we walk, "We might be here a while."

"Prepare to spend the night," he smirked at my disappointed expression. "You'll have to eat mitarashi dango flavored baby food."

Thinking about it, I stick out my tongue in disgust, "That'd be gross!"

"Exactly, and I don't plan on eating anything like that, so you will be my personal smorgasbord," he says, unlatching me from his arm and slipping it around my waist. Giggling, I reply, "I don't think I'd mind that too much."

Our group turned into the last aisle, finding it empty other than the gazillion clothing pieces. My eyes couldn't even graze the selection before Lenalee started saying, "Okay, parents start taking notes. We need lots of clothes, lots. Pick three different onsies each and three outfits. That's all for the moment, but make sure you each pick two that are a size bigger."

"What the crap is a wony or whatever you called it?" Kanda demanded as I try to register the new information.

"A onsie, Kanda. Say it with me now, one-see. It's a one piece basically," Fou explained, bopping him behind the head as I attempted to conceal my laughter, emphasis on attempt. If I wasn't pregnant and his source of sexual pleasure, I think Kanda would have whacked me into the next century. Ugh, imagine the freaking fangirls if that really happened….

Kanda probably couldn't have cared less what the outfits were, so while I was looking at the different sayings and stuff on the front, he just grabbed the most plain looking onsies they had along with the outfits. My favorite of all of them was the onsie that had a hood with cat ears on top and read "Daddy's Little Fighter Grrrl".

Apparently, Lenalee and Fou were also shopping so we ended up with clothes covering the entire bottom of the cart, not that I minded because some of them were just too cute! My boyfriend simply huffed and tried to get us to move on.

As we were doing this, Lenalee pressed a black turtleneck with two zippers in the front to my body and asked, "Is this your size?"

Glancing at it, I nod, "Yeah, but I thought we were shopping for the baby?"

"We are," she said, tossing the shirt into the cart, "but we need to get you some shirts that you can wear while you're breastfeeding."

Kanda, who I didn't know was standing behind me, and I both shout in unison, "Breastfeeding?!"

"Idiots, yes, Allen will be breastfeeding. Give it a few days, he'll get boobs again," she muttered, continuing to throw shirts into the cart like it was the most normal thing in the world. Clinging to Kanda, I whine, "But…but I only want Kanda sucking on me there."

"I only want him sucking on me anywhere," I add after a moment of thought and a weird look from the rabbit. Fou began walking along to the next aisle, "Deal, Allen. It's a great way of bonding anyways."

"Well, if he's pregnant then it obviously led to bonding of some so―"

The rabbit was cut off when he was nearly decapitated by Mugen, though I don't know how the samurai managed to sneak the katana in here. Oh well, on to blankets!

Lenalee began another lecture on the importance of blankets as Kanda and I picked out several in varying sizes and colors, though most were dark blue or black. That was, until Lenalee scolded us about how vital it is to choose "happy colors", and we ended up with mostly pink and yellow. Why did the store even sell those colors if they weren't "happy colors"?

"Next, you guys should pick out some sort of soothing music to play when she can't sleep," Fou stated as we came to an aisle filled with lullaby music and the cribs.

"No need, I'll sing for her," Kanda muttered while Lavi gaped at him, "Wha? You can sing?!"

Jumping to my boyfriend's defense, I say, "Yes, he's a great singer. He sings lullabies for me all the time!"

At this point, the other three were all staring at Kanda with their jaws hanging slack, and he snaps, "Shut up! It's not a big deal, morons."

"Wow, Kanda, you really do love him," Fou said, an aghast expression plain on her face. Glaring at his childhood friend, he growls, "Of course I do, now drop it."

Lenalee continues to explain that she preordered the crib, changing station, and playpen, and they were being put in the limo as we speak. That girl is way too sneaky if you ask me. Then, we have to stock up on bottles, bottle cleaner, and the girls say we need to buy food since we won't have time later even though Something Mana Walker won't be able to eat anything solid for several months.

"We must get a rabbit plushy," Lavi said as we look at toys and Lenalee continues a lecture on the possibility of the baby choking on little things. Smiling, I agree, "Yeah, the first present from Uncle Usagi!"

Kanda smirks, "I like that idea."

"Hey!" the rabbit protests. "I don't wanna be Uncle Usagi!"

"Too bad, so sad," I laugh, his invisible ears drooping.

Fou glances at Kanda and me, "That reminds me, what are you going to do about the double daddy issue? It's going to be confusing if you both get called 'Daddy'."

Shrugging, Kanda says, "I figured Moyashi would be 'Daddy' and I'd be 'Chichi'."

The four of us gave the bluenette a blank look, and he sighs, "Morons, father in Japanese."

Little light bulbs came on above our heads as we nod.

"I call being whatever mother is in Japanese!" Lenalee spouts, hopping up and down while looking expectantly at Kanda. The Japanese male burst out laughing, actually laughing, and I briefly wonder if something was wrong with him until he explains, "Fine, I want to see what people look like when Something Mana Walker runs into the cafeteria yelling for 'Haha'."

At this, the Baka Usagi drops to the floor rolling and laughing. Giggles course through the girls and I, though I'm not sure if I should group myself with the females.

After the laughter passes, we continue to get a baby bath and special shampoos for sensitive skin since I can tell Kanda wants the baby to have long hair like he does, not that I'm complaining about it. We get a diaper bag, wipes, and three different powders and creams that I have no clue what are for. Man, I'm glad Lenalee and Fou know.

Lavi has to get another whole cart just for the diapers since I think Lenalee was trying to clear the store of the things, and after that, we go and get a couple things she had forgotten, not that I know how it was possible. Next, check-out!

It takes a good twenty minutes to ring everything up, and while this was going on, the clerk, a middle-aged woman with black curls, said, "You all are really going to be prepared. May I ask whose expecting?"

Considering I was standing with Kanda's arm around my shoulders, I answer, "We're adopting. She's due in about a month or so."

"Well good for you! In my thirteen years, you two are the first gay couple I've ever seen come through here. I'm sure she'll be in good hands," the clerk said, handing Lenalee the receipt for who knows how many hundreds of dollars. Luckily, Lenalee has the Black Order's credit card. Oh, I love that girl!

Oo_oO_Oo_oO

"Do you guys want to go out to eat?" Lenalee asked as she plopped down in the seat beside Lavi and in front of Fou. From where I was across from them, I nodded, glancing at Kanda as he seemed to either be trying to sleep or meditate. Good luck with that!

Nudging him with my shoulder, I was about to ask him about it when he muttered, "Golden Corral."

"Wow, Yu, I didn't think you liked that kind of restaurant," Lavi commented. Kanda didn't reply with more than a death glare, a "don't call me that", and a threat of a bloody demise. Smiling, I explain, "It's my favorite, and he knows it."

"You got that, Reever?" Lenalee called to the driver, getting some sort of reply before leaning back. Quickly, I plant a chaste kiss on his lips, and when I pull away, I whisper, "You're too good to me, Kanda."

Smirking, he replies, "I know, and it's becoming a pain, too."

"Shut up. You just ruined a romantic moment," I accuse, poking his cheek.

"It's what I strive to do," he mutters, but gives me a peck on the cheek regardless.

Author Note: I have been the latest victim to writer's block and I wasn't motivated to write the last couple days, but the update is here! Tell me what you think in a review! Favorite part? Least favorite? Tell me, and please, Please, PLEASE R/R!