The next day it rains outright. They sit around in the office during lunch. Harding can feel Chase's eyes flicking to her every few moments, but she keeps her attention fixed firmly on her book until Cameron speaks directly to her.
"…how you you deal with it?"
"Deal with what, sorry?"
"Men not taking you seriously."
Chase laughs before he can help himself.
"Here's the thing, Cameron. Men aren't going to take you seriously no matter what. If you button up your collar your a woman trying to hard to be serious, if you unbutton it your a whore, so you've got to choose the approach that works best for you."
"Which do you do?"
"In general? Let my tits hang out. I was fifteen the first time that got me into a pub, eighteen when I found out that got you better tips. If men are stupid enough to let you do things and give you favors because you're dressed a certain way that's their problem, and I see nothing unfeminist with taking advantage of that."
"Your collars buttoned now."
"Yeah, cause my tits have no business here."
"Well that's what I mean! How do you get them to take you seriously in a professional setting."
Harding takes a gulp of tea. "You know what your problem is? You're too fucking nice. You never wanted anyone to call you bossy or pushy. I grew up with three brothers; I wouldn't know lady-like if it hit me in balls I think I have. You want a man to take you seriously, always have the upper hand. If they know you can beat them in a fight they're a lot less likely to fuck with you. If you look 'em in the eye and raise your chin and don't speak softly their a lot more likely to respect you. Being a woman is great if you want something outside of the workplace, otherwise grow a pair."
"But isn't that unfeminist?"
"So maybe I'm a terrible goddamn feminist, but I'll start showing up to church when being Christian benefits me somehow."
"You don't think maybe the principle alone benefits you?"
"My sole principle is that staying alive efficiently is good; I don't have time for any other shit."
"But what if men infringe on your rights?"
Harding rolls her eyes. "Then that get's in the way of the efficiency bit, doesn't it?"
"So how do you deal with that?"
"And here we are back at the beginning." She shuts her book, standing. "I'm going to go make sure the Hepburns are all squared away."
"I can't decide if that's genius or stupid," Cameron says as the door shuts.
"It's psychotic," Chase decides. "She thinks she can do whatever she want."
Foreman chuckles. "That is not the sound of a relationship ended well."
"Why won't any of you let that go? It was three fucking year ago."
"I think we're all having a little too much fun to let it go. Maybe if you'd just fess up-"
Chase swears. "Nosey bastards."
"Just let it go, Chase," Cameron advises. "He's like House: he knows that if he keeps prodding you'll eventually crack."
He sighs, and picks up Harding's discarded book. My Name is Asher Lev. The cover is bent, water damaged. The fifty-cent sticker is half peeled off, half begging the use of goo-gone. "It didn't end badly, it didn't end at all. I just came home from the hospital one day and she was gone."
"Like, gone?"
"Like, wasn't at the beach, wasn't at the bar. I called her phone, her friends, but no one could tell me anything. A couple days later her trainer called and told me she'd quit, moved out to Perth to live with a cousin. I never heard from her again."
"Did you ever figure out why?" Cameron pries.
"Not until she showed up here." he taps the book on the table, eager to escape. "I'm going…not here."
They run into each other in the hallways.
"If you're gonna yell, please do it soon," she says, snatching the book from his hands. "You know I prefer honesty to false amnesty."
"I'm not mad, Harding."
She scoffs. "You're calling me Harding."
"I'm trying to be professional."
"No you're not!"
"What, do you want me to be angry?"
"Yes!" her voice cracks. "Yes, I want you to be angry! I want you to be so pissed off you can't take it!"
"What, so you can hate me for hating you and feel better? Maybe I don't want you to feel better."
She laughs through the burgeoning tears. "You don't believe me about why I left, do you? You think I was cheating on you."
"Why else would you leave, Harding?"
"I think you know perfectly well why, Chase."
"No, I don't."