I love you… You think you hear right before you fall asleep, in between the scratchy white sheets and filtered moonlight.
For a moment, your heart stills, and you can't breathe. You wonder if he must have whispered it in his sleep; or if he accidentally let it slip; or if he's as wide awake as you are now, blushing to the tips of his ears and I can't believe I even said that! So you turn around, carefully, and he looks asleep, but no, his eyes look too clenched together and his ears are still that crimson color, so bright even in the dark.
You think about letting it fade, letting that impossible confession stay as it is. The next morning will swiftly come, and you'll both wake up and pretend that nothing happened between the two of you—well, he will anyways. You'll just lie there naked and bare to him, desperately wishing that you two were something more, something more than just the strange fuck-buddies that you've come to be. You'll scream it out in your heart; but on the outside, you'll take it coolly, make perverted, leering comments about how nice his ass looks and drawl that he should just confess to you already so you two can get on with your lives.
But, no…the prospect of reliving that over again makes your throat tight, like there's something hard lodged in there, and you know that it's the emotions you've tried so hard to not let anyone see. In his presence, though, everything you've ever felt is out in the open, and…it really sucks. So you lean forward and shake his shoulder, almost roughly, so he'll definitely wake up and can't blame it on suddenly falling asleep again.
"Hm? What?" He rubs his eyes and shifts, bare lithe body moving underneath the sheets. You admit, he plays quite the actor. Too bad you can see right through him.
You huff quietly, a small smile coming unbidden to your pale lips, and you have no idea why. "You finally said it."
"W-what? I didn't—" He stops, pinching his lips together. You grin triumphantly; at 2.16 in the morning, you grin, because he's stuttered, and you know you've got him. He glares at you and rolls over, pulling the blankets over him. "Go back to sleep, Takano-san."
With a mock pout, you roll over right with him, folding your legs around his and holding him close to you. "How mean," you complain, but you're still smiling, still grinning, and idly, in the back of your mind, you think you should probably get checked out; because no sane person would be so smiley when the person he loves basically rejects ever saying 'I love you'.
Ah, how love has softened your heart.
"Besides," you continue, "If I fall back asleep, I won't be able to hear you say I love youuuu~."
He stiffens—not the good kind, unfortunately—and you press your lips to the warm skin of the nape of his neck, smiling against it. "U-um, Takano-san. I don't know what you've been dreaming about, but I have not said anything of the sort. You must have been hallucinating."
"If it was a hallucination, then it was a damn good one." Somehow, that simple sentence is saturated with all the sadness that you've ever felt, and you're suddenly brought back to the actual situation at hand, the one where you both pretend nothing is between you but there's a fragile need to want more.
Pausing, he's silent for a moment, then, "You probably need to get checked out if you've been having hallucinations."
You wonder what in the world he's doing, and—
A sudden rush of emotion overwhelms you, and you almost can't breathe, and you love him. You love him, you always have. You're still smiling against his neck as you say the words, "I don't mind, if you were the doctor, of course."
"Tch. Trying to fulfill one of your perverted fantasies?"
"I only have them with you."
"Gee, that makes me feel special."
You try to inject as much feeling as you can, stressing, "You are special. Really…really special."
He turns around in your embrace, raising an eyebrow. "You're being all sentimental. Not getting old on me, are you?"
"Hah. If anything, you'll be the one who dies before me, what with your diet and all—"
"Okay, okay. I know that. You've told me that a million times already, jeez."
"I only remind you because I love you, Ricchan," You drawl, smirking as he flushes again.
"Don't call me that!"
"Call you what, Ricchan?"
"That! It's embarrassing!"
"You let Kisa call you that," You point out, tilting your head.
His eyes widen like he's just made some life-breaking discovery, and faintly, you hear him stammer a "C-c-c-cute…" but you can't really be sure. "What can I do to make you stop?" He pouts, cheeks still vaguely pink.
Say you love me. "How about say you love me, one more time?" Hey, you always listen to your thoughts.
"U-um…how about something less challenging?"
"You're kidding me," you deadpan, but inside you're cracking up with laughter. 'Something less challenging?' This wasn't Jeopardy.
"I-it's hard for me to just say it!"
"Ah, so you admit you do love me."
"What? No, when did I say that?"
"Just now. Don't deny it, Onodera."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"See?"
"…I hate it when you're right."
"Pouting won't help anything, Ritsu."
"…"
"…"
Ritsu's fantastic pout diminished into a, "Takano-saa…n…god."
"That'll teach you to make such a cute face around me."
A/N: After over a year, I still don't remember where I was going with this. Welp. It was cute, anyways.
-ChemicallyEnhanced