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Note: Thank you to everyone who favorited/reviewed/followed this story-it's super awesome and I really hope you like it.
Updating isn't going to be consistent, as I just got a job (barista at a low key coffee shop), and I recently had a falling out with a person.
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Sometimes Darcy felt like she was drowning. It never happened in the water-always on land. Air forcefully entered her lungs and suffocated her.
Inhale.
Exhale.
But she didn't feel like this was breathing.
Thor didn't speak, even as she piled the shopping car with useless food and made him carry a basket filled to the brim of Poptarts.
They got stares, mainly because of Thor in full Asgardian-garb, and Darcy had never felt more self conscious in her oversized sweatshirt before her entire life, so her steps are probably weird because it's the only thing she can focus on.
She dragged her feet in attempt to stop, a constant squeaking following her, and her knuckles white from her grip on the cart.
"Do we need jam?" she babbled, eyeing the mismatched contents. So far she'd tossed in everything from horseradish to pineapples juice. Darcy didn't wait for a response, putting the jam in the cart.
She would've continued mindlessly shoving food into Thor's overstuffed arms and her overflowing cart if smarmy SHEILD Agent hadn't materialized. She squealed, having not noticed him, jumping back into Thor.
Somehow Thor managed not to drop everything, which, seriously, go him, and Darcy, of course, morphed into not herself, crashing into the floor. She didn't panic this time, and remained relatively calm as Thor dropped the contents in his arms to the floor, picking her up.
"I apologize, Lady Darcy, I had thought you where aware of Agent of SHEILD's presence."
Darcy was thrilled to realize Thor didn't know Smarmy's name either.
"It's fine," she said without thinking.
Thor nearly dropped her in shock. "Lady Darcy?" he questioned warily.
"...this probably isn't something that's happened before." said the Agent once Darcy was totally normal-human looking again.
"Probably?" Darcy snipped, her eyes narrowing. "Probably!? I'd bet my left ass cheek that nobody has had to go through the trouble of morphing into a weapon-oh, but not just any weapon, the God of Thunder's weapon. Yippee."
They'd gathered a small crowd at this point, and Darcy bit her tongue so hard it started to bleed-she really didn't want to dig herself into a deeper hole by insulting SHEILD Agents.
Instead she shook her head, giving Thor major side eye as the Agent lead them through the store, their cart abandoned and probably being paid for by someone else. "This is like an M. night Shamalan movie when they started going really downhill."
The SHEILD Agent remained impassive, and Thor nodded dumbly, not understanding her reference. She patted his arm, "It's okay, I'll be sure to educate both you and Mr. Rogers the horror of a failing director."
Agent Smarmy ushered them into a car and drove them back in relative silence. Darcy prattled on about Spongebob (Spongebob? What kinda name is that?) to pretend that be life wasn't falling apart around the same time that Thor's relationship with her boss turned bestie wasn't failing.
She was pretty sure it wasn't a welcome distraction for Thor, but he had enough decency to listen or the very least convincingly pretend to.
She was halfway through explaining all the problems with modern Spongebob episodes when the car stopped and Agent Smarmy told them Director Fury was waiting.
Darcy wasn't ashamed to admit she considered just going Hammer and waiting it all out. Thor, however, did no seem to agree with this fantastic plan, and pretty much dragged her to see the uber terrifying Bossman.
Fury looked like Darcy's father when he had gotten the phone call from the school saying that she had broken three fingers punching a kid in the face.
His eyes zeroed in on her, and he took a step forward. Darcy 'eeped' and ducked behind Thor, proclaiming, "This wasn't my fault!"
Fury exhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Doctor Foster has taken the liberty of explaining," he gave a pointed look at Jane, who blushed. Darcy decided to grill her friend for details later. "You and Mjolnir-"
"Mew-Mew," said Darcy automatically, wincing at the death glare. She held her hands up as a peace offering. "Sorry, reflex."
"As I was saying, you have and the hammer have merged on a molecular level, the only reason you where not vaporized upon touching the portal has everything to do with Mjolnir." Fury explained, sounding like it was probably the worst thing that could have possibly happened in the history of ever without actually changing his stance or tone.
It was pretty impressive.
"Can you fix it?" Darcy asked the room. Tony Stark took that opportunity to butt in, poking his head through the door.
"Um, hi, yes," he said, getting Darcy's attention. "No, you'll probably stay like this. From what Foster and Banner can tell. But this has some real potential to be-"
"I'm stuck like this?" Darcy shrieked. "Oh, what a fantastic thing to put on my resume, 'I majored in political science and turn into a hammer'. This is a disaster-!"
Darcy blanched, and Thor made a point to brood in the corner, sulking.
"Oh god." she realized, causing most people in the room to look at her. "What the hell am I supposed to tell my mom?"
"Preferably nothing," said Fury forcefully, looking more at Stark then anyone else, though he did look at Darcy too.
Darcy slouched forward, sighing. "Tell me everything you know."
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Thirty minutes later saw Darcy kicking a vending machine. "Come," kick "on," kick "you," kick "stupid" kick "soda!"
"I take it this is how you are choosing to vent?" Jane asked warily.
Darcy scowled, kicking the machine particularly hard. She hissed in pain, dropping to the floor and clutching her now throbbing foot. "Fuck!"
Jane squatted next to her, pressing a gentle hand to Darcy's back. "We'll work it out, Darce. I promise-we will fix this."
Somehow Darcy doubted that. Still she forced herself to nod, asking Jane offhandedly, "Where is Thor, anyhow?"
Jane flinched, acting as if Darcy had just slapped her. "Uh, I'm not sure."
"Liar," said Darcy. "What's up between you two?"
Jane shrugged, helping Darcy to stand. "I don't know, everything was going great, until I realized we have absolutely nothing in common. I actually think he likes you better."
Darcy laughed in disbelief. "Me? You are joking, right? I just turned myself into his prized weapon, I hardly think I'm Thor's favorite person at the moment."
"But you actually have something to relate with him about. It's better then me. My two favorite things are physics and Poptarts, Thor likes Mjolnir (or you now I guess), and beating people in glorious battle." Jane replied.
Darcy shook her head. "You have things in common." she insisted.
Jane raised an eyebrow. "Let it go, Darce. It wouldn't have worked no matter how hard we tried."
"But-"
"It's done," Jane snapped, stopping abruptly. Darcy hadn't even realized they'd been walking. "This is my room. We will figure this out, I promise. Goodnight, Darcy." With that sudden ending to the conversation, Jane disappeared into her room, shutting the door behind her.
Darcy lingered outside for a few moments, before she shook her head and walked to her own rom in silence.