Chapter 11

Christian POV

Wow. Just wow..

Here I am sitting in Ana's car on the way to the hospital to see our son. If anyone would have told me this last week, I would have had them committed to an institution. Yet, here I am and I feel.. I feel.. I'm not sure how I feel. I feel out of control but not in a bad way. The situation seems under control. Ana and apparently her /team/ have this under control. She was actually telling me what to do. Ok.. Maybe asked more than gold but it was pretty obvious how she felt. I need some type of control over this situation or I might go crazy; it's like she doesn't even need me.

"I got the green one because I like the color but if you get the same system you can get any color."

"Okay."

"Are you okay Christian?" She asks looking at me concerned once we stop at a red light. "You've been really quiet."

"Yeah." I reply. She sighs before turning back and paying attention to the road.

The rest of the short ride to the hospital is sat in silence. The radio isn't even on and there is an eerie but somehow not uncomfortable silence between us. We navigate the familiar path to the nursery where Teddy was moved in to a few days ago. One of the nurses prepares a room for us and we go inside.

"Look, I know you probably feel out of control right now and I'm sorry about that. I used to babysit and I've had months to read and research and repair and all of this is just being thrown on you. I feel bad, I do.. I just- I don't know what I can do to help you out with this. Do you want to go over the stats with me or maybe like borough one of the baby books or take some cla-"

"Ana!" I call her name loudly over her rambling. I'm somewhat glad she picked up on what was wrong without me having to admit it to her but I don't know what can be done either. She is just poking at me expectantly. "Look, I'm completely out of my element here. You seem like you have everything under control and I was just sitting there not knowing what to do." She doesn't say anything back and just looks down.

"Look, I agree with the security measures and I will admit I need help with everything else but don't railroad me."

"I didn't realize that's what I was doing until we got in the car. I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it and you may never believe me but just so we're clear.. I'm sorry that you're not prepared. I'm sorry that you didn't and maybe even still don't want kids, I'm sorry that I know more about something than you do for once, I'm sorry that I felt the need to protect myself and keep our son safe." she says not looking looking down the entire time. "I'm sorry. I.. I just don't know what to day or do. This isn't exactly how I thought things would go."

"Were you ever going to tell me about him? If I didn't find out?"

"Yes." She says finally looking up at me. "I always wanted to tell you; from the moment I found out I wanted to tell you. I tried dropping hints when we would talk that week and at dinner on Friday but you always shut down the topic and insisted you didn't want kids. So, I walked. Then, all during the pregnancy I always though ab-.. When picking a name was another time I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how. Then days passed and soon it was a month and I started having complications. I really wanted you to be there then but I didn't know how you would react and even thinking about it stressed me out which wasn't good for either of us. The next thing I know I was here in the hospital and Luke told me you saw us."

"What does this guy know anyway?"

"That guy's name is Luke or as you will probably call him, Sawyer and he is my best friend. As far as we are concerned, he doesn't know about that if that's what you're worried about. Jason just told him him to look after me. You're going to have to ask them for specifics because I don't really know.

There's a silence again while we both look on at Teddy. I never thought I would want kids and I'm still sure that I'll be a crazy father but looking at the both of them, I'm glad they're here.

"I don't know how I would have reacted although I'm sure it probably wouldn't have been positive. And I will probably never fully understand but I do forgive you and I want to say thank you for giving me our son and keeping him safe." She looks up at me shocked and speechless.

"Have you changed any diapers yet?"

"I've watched. Doesn't that count?"

"Oh, no. Get over here. You're lucky it's a clean one."

"How can a diaper be clean?"

"When it's not yellow and doesn't smell horrible." She smiles and waves me over.

"You're gonna needs wipes, a new diaper and the changing pad." After some looking, I gather everything and put the pad under Teddy.

"Okay, now what?"

"Undo the snaps on his sleeper and then open the straps on his diaper but don't lift it off yet unless you want to get sprayed."

"Sprayed?!" What?!

"He's a baby. He can't control where his penis goes and if he has to pee it's gonna shoot around." She's talking about this like it's the most natural thing in the world but it is making me nervous.

"Oh my god." I say nervously. And she actually chuckles at me.

"Okay, now you need to wipe everything and quickly. Over, under, around. Everywhere. And then put some ointment on to prevent rash."

He pulls back the diaper with a wipe in hand and it actually looks pretty comical. "Why does it look like that?"

"That's another discussion we need to have, circumcision." I involuntarily wince.

A/N: Very mixed reviews about Ana in that last chapter. Some of you think that she's being mean and overbearing and others think that she's just being a protective mama bear in things that involve Teddy.. interesting..

Ana and Christian's relationship is different from the canon. Christian was still very much the controlling CEO/Dom and Ana was the bookworm but they meet in a different way and . It's up to you, do you want me to just spell it all out or let it come back in flashbacks, etc.

I know it was short (the next one is longer) but I still hope you liked this chapter. Please review, comment, ask questions, etc.