"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
So Holly gets the series' first shipper-friendly tale. This was pretty fun to write... I don't think she has any fandom-accepted pairings...
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.
"So what are you doing for the science fair?" questioned Holly.
Django, who was sitting next to her in class, answered her.
"I'm testing different substances to see if any are a good substitute for surfboard wax."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WATCHING PHINEAS AND FERB BUILD STUFF IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE SCIENCE PROJECT IDEA?" yelled Irving from a few rows in front of them.
Entry #227 - Written by Holly
It was the day we were getting our science fair project proposals back, and I was curious to see if my teacher would let me do my experiment. It's kinda unorthodox, but I figured... it involved a topic I think she'd be genuinely encouraged to want to have explored.
Suddenly, Holly's teacher, a light brown-haired woman in her late 20s, walked up and handed the Fireside Girl her proposal, face down. The teacher then leaned in close, and whispered...
"If you need a test subject, Holly, I'm willing and able!"
But Holly quickly shot her down. "I appreciate the offer, Miss Dunkirk, but to enter it in the science fair, I'm not allowed to receive direct help from a teacher."
Miss Dunkirk nodded in understanding, then walked off. Once she was out of hearing range, Django leaned over to ask...
"What are you doing that has Miss Dunkirk so giddy about it?"
"Oh," Holly smirked, "you'll know it when you see it."
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Entry #227 [FSD106] - Test My Heart (08.18.11)
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After school, in the computer lab, Holly was already hard at work on the first phase of her experiment. And that required getting on to the Internet and searching for something...
Curious as to what my topic is?
She typed the words 'love calculator' into the search box and then pressed enter on her keyboard. In less than a second, a list of choices appeared before her.
"Wow! How many of these things are there? And how do I pick which one to use?"
She held up her graded proposal in front of her, which had the title of her project on it. It was 'Can a love calculator successfully predict romantic compatibility?'
I bet you everyone reading this has wondered THAT question at some point.
"Holly!"
Holly turned to her left and saw Isabella walking towards her.
"Hi, Isa!"
"So..." Isabella asked curiously, "whatcha doin'?"
"Starting on my science fair project!"
Isabella seemed a bit puzzled. "I like your enthusiasm, but the science fair is not for another six weeks."
Isabella then looked at Holly's computer screen. She then asked...
"What's a love calculator?"
Holly handed Isabella her project proposal, and the black-haired girl quickly flipped through it as Holly clicked one of the links at random.
"So you're trying to see if they actually work?"
"That's the plan!" replied Holly.
Isabella smirked. "Then allow me to help!"
Holly caught the hint and slid the keyboard over to Isabella. She put in her name on the first line, and then Phineas' on the second. She then used the mouse to click on the 'calculate' button, and the result instantly appeared on screen.
"48 percent?" she stated it aloud. "That's it?"
Holly shrugged. "It's almost 50 percent. That's sorta favorable."
"But... Phineas and I are meant to be together! That number should be at least in the ninetieth percentile!"
Holly suddenly got an idea. She clicked on Isabella's name, then pressed the delete key, and entered in her own name. Isabella watched as Holly got the result.
"WHAT?" they both yelled. "65 PERCENT?"
Isabella looked unhappy, and Holly was a little afraid of what was going to come next...
"If it makes you feel better," Holly tried to excuse herself from the result, "I have no desire to go out with him?"
"Don't worry," Isabella answered, keeping rather calm. "I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself!"
"Pardon?"
"I've GOT to find a way to make myself completely compatible with Phineas! Whatever it takes!"
With that, Isabella stormed out of the room. Holly breathed a sigh of relief.
"Hmmm..." Holly thought out loud. "Should probably exclude Phineas as a subject. Just to be safe."
She crossed out Phineas' name, which was at the top of her shortlist, leaving numerous other possible options.
"What's your ideal girlfriend?"
Holly asked that question to several fifth grade boys, beginning with a brown-haired boy a few inches taller than her.
"Someone as cute as a button, smart, very outgoing."
"Okay, follow-up question! Is it me?"
The boy laughed. "Are you kidding? You? Cute? Ha ha!"
Holly frowned, then walked away. Some point later, she crossed out the name Ron, and the 92 percent next to his name.
"Would you ever consider going out with me?"
This boy was even taller, and he was clearly cross-eyed. And confused. After a few seconds, he finally answered.
"Why would I go out with me?"
Holly looked down at the boy's name, George, and the 18 she had put in beside it. She added a check mark, followed by three question marks. She then slowly backed away, and George just stood there, not reacting at all.
"I've always dreamed of going out with you! YES!"
Holly giggled happily. She looked down at her pad and circled the boy's name, the oddly green-haired Milo, who was the same height as she was, and his 92 number.
"Wait! You're Isabella, right?"
"No," deadpanned Holly. "I'm not."
Milo wiped his forehead in relief. "Whew! I almost made a HUGE mistake!"
He then started to walk away.
"Well..." Holly shot back, "I can find someone better than you!"
That someone better was apparently... a displeased Isabella?
"Really?"
"What?" grinned Holly. "You know somebody wants it! Oh, and I checked this morning... still 48!"
"Darn it!" stomped Isabella. "Phineas will be mine!"
Isabella went off again to try to improve her compatibility. As for Holly, onto the next name...
At least Holly was starting to get into some familiar faces. First, the 87 of...
"I am flattered," a blushing Baljeet responded to hearing his number, "but I am into so many girls other than you."
"How can you turn me down?" Holly huffed. "You're Baljeet!"
"Even I have a limit to how many girls' affections I am able to juggle effectively, you know."
Then the slightly lower 82 of...
"I'm not answering your silly questions!" Buford exclaimed as he walked away, carrying Baljeet off by his underwear as he did.
"Could you at least answer one so I can get down?" asked Baljeet.
"It's for science!" Holly shouted as she gave chase.
"That's EXACTLY why I don't wanna do it!" answered the bully with finality.
And then...
"I'll be honest," Holly said nervously, "64 is still a lot higher than I thought for the two of us."
She happened to be talking to Ferb, who... slowly backed away, and Holly just stood there and let him leave.
Several weeks later...
Holly sighed as she plopped down in front of a computer in the lab.
So, I had gone through every fifth-grade boy who went to Danville Elementary. Every single guy that the calculator said was supposed to like me didn't, and every one that wasn't, did! Except for George. But I don't count him because... well, he's George!
"So I guess love calculators are terrible at predicting love," Holly told herself aloud. "Really terrible."
She began typing away at the computer.
I had no choice but to report on a love calculator's poor success rate. That is, until...
Holly felt someone tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw a black-haired boy with brown skin standing there.
"Are you the girl asking every fifth grade boy out?"
"Yes, that's me. It's my science project."
"Good. I was hoping... you'd ask me. I'm Pedro."
Holly looked perplexed. "Wha?"
"You're friends with Ginger, right? I'm in her class."
Holly suddenly remembered. "Oh, right! The boy in the far corner of the room that doesn't speak to anyone."
"Yeah..." he said sheepishly, "that's me."
"Okay. Let me just find my questionnaire and then..."
But Pedro would not let her do that, as he grabbed Holly's arm, pulled her up out of the seat, and then out of the lab.
He took her to Mr. Slushy Burger, where he paid for her kids' meal then got one for himself. After they had finished eating, they played with their toys, which was the restaurant's clown mascot sitting in a toy go-kart.
The next stop was the park, where Holly elatedly let Pedro push her back and forth on the swings. Later, they had fun on the seesaw, continuously bouncing up and down. Finally, they rode the little rocking animals - Holly was on the tiger, while Pedro was on the lion.
After that, they went on a bike ride, holding hands as they rode down the sidewalk together. People simply got out of their way, not wanting to break up the love fest. A certain lamp post, though, would not budge, and they fell off their bikes when they failed to separate their hands in time. But they laughed it off despite landing on their butts and their bikes had kept going without them.
Flash forward to the day of in-class science fair presentations...
"So you're telling me," Miss Dunkirk asked, "in that one case, it DID work?"
She was pointing out that fact because Pedro had a 95 next to his name.
"Uh huh," Holly nodded at first, before shaking her head instead. "Uh, actually, no..."
"No?"
Her teacher looked confused.
"You see, Pedro and I did have fun together. But at the end of the day, we kinda mutually agreed that neither of us was ready for a long-time relationship. So for now, we're just friends."
"Okay, but Holly... that's not a 'no' answer."
"Technically, it's not a 'yes' answer, either."
Miss Dunkirk thought about it for a few seconds, and then said...
"Whatever. Good enough for me. You may take your seat, Holly."
Holly folded up her board and handed it to Miss Dunkirk, then made her way back to her seat.
So I succeeded in completing my experiment, even if the results weren't as I thought they'd be. All I really learned was that I'm not ready for boys just yet.
"Psst... Holly!"
Holly turned to her right and saw Django was trying to get her attention.
"You know, you forgot to ask me."
Holly gasped. "Oh, right! You were absent the day I was going to pick you. I crossed your name off and just plain forgot."
"I see. Maybe some other time?"
"Yeah. Maybe when I'm into boys again."
"Okay."
The two shared a smile, then both turned their attention to the front of the room. Then, out of the blue, Django burst out with a...
"Wait... WHAT?"
End Entry
Author's Notes:
Just so you know... all of the numbers were the actual results that were outputted when each pairing with Holly was inputted. A lot of them ended up better than 50-50, as you can see... which I really can't explain. And, before you ask, Isabella-Holly was one of the higher numbers, and no, I'm not telling you what it was.
And Pedro is an actual character in the show. Go check the P&F Wiki, he's there. Miss Dunkirk, though, totally made her up!