"Arleen, J.J., there you are! Thank God you're safe! After Joker's escape, we feared the worst, and…Joker?!" exclaimed Harley, as Arleen, J.J., and Joker entered through the front doors of Arkham Asylum. Harley, Dr. Leland, and several guards were gathered at the reception desk discussing the recent breakout and missing persons, and everyone stared dumbfounded at Joker as he strode up to join them, holding out his wrists.
"I'd like to turn myself in and recommit myself, please," he said, smiling.
Dr. Leland stared at him. "Is this a joke?" she demanded.
"No joke, Doc," he said. "Scout's honor! I admit I orchestrated the breakout and took the kiddies hostage, but I'm back now and willing to do the time for my crime."
"Oh yes? Why's that?" asked Dr. Leland, suspiciously.
Joker shrugged. "I had something worth coming back for," he said, glancing at Harley.
"Well…thank you for doing the right thing, Mr. Joker," said Harley, slowly. "And I'm so glad you two are all right! He didn't hurt you, did he, J.J.?" she asked, cooing adoringly over him.
"No, Harley," retorted J.J., irritated. "But wasn't it great of Joker to come back? He could just as easily have killed us and run off, but he didn't."
"Yeah, that really makes up for all of his other numerous, heinous crimes," sighed Dr. Leland, sarcastically. "Come on, Joker – let's get you back to your cell and I'll resume your therapy…"
"Hey, maybe as a reward for coming back, I could try some therapy with a new doctor," interrupted Joker. "Dr. Quinzel here, for instance."
"Why would I want to analyze you?" asked Harley. "You're well known to be the most difficult patient the doctors have to deal with – I don't want that kinda headache."
"I just feel like I could maybe open up to you better than the other doctors," replied Joker. "You seem so kind and understanding…just look at the concern you're showing over the kid here," he said, gesturing to J.J. "That kinda sympathy could be just what I need to cure myself. I'm confident if anyone can accomplish that miracle, it's you, Dr. Quinzel."
Harley and Dr. Leland shared a look. "He's a massive pain, I warn you right now," said Dr. Leland. "But if you're willing to give it a try, I am."
"I guess so," sighed Harley, clearly wanting to do nothing less. "We'll do a trial session anyway and see how it goes. Arleen and J.J., if you wanna head to the infirmary to make sure you're ok…"
"Couldn't we stay and watch the session?" asked J.J. "Just for a little while, just to see…how things go."
"I don't have any objection if you don't," said Dr. Leland, shrugging. "The more eyes that are on him, the less he can try whatever joke he's got planned. Maybe something involving Tetch, since he's still missing. Anyway, I don't know what your game is, Joker, but I know there is one, and I'm asking you nicely to please leave Dr. Quinzel out of it. She's just started here. The last thing we want you doing is scaring her off…"
"Don't you worry, Doc!" chuckled Joker. "Scaring her off ain't what I had in mind. Although I imagine the size of the Big J is intimidating to some people…"
"Dad, charm!" hissed J.J. as they followed Harley back toward her office. "Leenie and I will beat it and give you some alone time if things look promising, so please do your best."
"You got it, kid," said Joker, nodding as Arleen and J.J. took a seat next to Harley's desk. She pulled her chair over next to the sofa where Joker sat, and pulled out her notebook.
"Ok, Mr. Joker, why don't I ask you some questions about your childhood?" she said.
"I've got a better idea," he said. "Why don't I tell you the real reason I came back? It was to see you."
"To see me?" repeated Harley, puzzled. "Why? You looked at me once and then threatened my friends. That's been the extent of our interaction."
"Yeah, but a look and a threat is enough for me to know," said Joker, nodding.
"To know what?" asked Harley, confused.
"To know that you're the one," he said. "The only one who could ever understand me, Doc. I feel this connection between us. I felt it the instant I saw you, and I knew then that we were two of a kind, you and me. The same kinda people, who see the world in the same kinda way."
Harley just looked at him. "And that's why you're considered crazy, Mr. Joker," she retorted. "You imagine these things about other people…"
"It ain't my imagination," he interrupted. "Don't tell me you haven't felt it too?"
"Felt a connection to a psychotic murderer?" asked Harley. "No, I can honestly say I haven't."
"Harley, you know there's more to me than that," he replied.
"It's Dr. Quinzel," she retorted, coldly. "And what more to you is there, Mr. Joker? I've seen your files – they portray you as a cold, unfeeling man whose only pleasure is the cruel humor you find in your violent jokes."
"Well, that's…true," agreed Joker, slowly. "But I haven't told you how I became the man I am today. It all started when my Dad took me to the circus when I was seven…"
"So you blame your father for the way you turned out," interrupted Harley. "That's a way of avoiding taking responsibility for yourself, isn't it, Mr. Joker?"
"No, it's just trying to explain to you why I think violent jokes are funny…"
"You can't excuse them to yourself or me like that though," retorted Harley. "Frankly, I can't even feel that much pity for a man who thinks that just because he had a rough childhood, he can remain a perpetual spoiled, violent child taking his anger and frustrations out on the world by hurting people. Were you hoping that kind of backstory would provoke sympathy in me? Because it's done the opposite, if I even believe it anyway, which I don't."
"Harley, give him a chance," spoke up J.J. "He's not so bad a guy – we were with him most of the day and he didn't hurt us…"
"If he had, I wouldn't even have indulged this silly request for a session," retorted Harley. "And I haven't just forgiven him for kidnapping you both – I was worried sick. He has to learn that he can't just get away with murder and expect people to pander to him and his whims. No matter how difficult a childhood he had."
J.J. shared a desperate look with Joker, and then glanced over at his sister, who had been silent since their return. She spoke up now. "Maybe this is a little off-topic, but when you're involved in a kidnapping, your life kinda flashes before your eyes. I had a few moments today where…I thought I might stop existing, and all I could think about was the people I loved there at the end. It was a pretty powerful experience. Have you ever felt that, Mr. Joker?"
"Yeah," he agreed, looking at Harley. "I think I have."
Harley snorted. "Right," she said, rolling her eyes. "I doubt a heartless killer like you even has that ability. Just what do you think love is, Mr. Joker?"
He was silent for a moment. "Love is jumping off a building," he said at last.
"What?" asked Harley, confused.
"Love is jumping off a building," he repeated, nodding. "A leap into plummeting uncertainty. You get the same kinda queasy, falling feeling either way," he chuckled. "Love is jumping off a building just because the person you love is doing it. You jump off with 'em, because you got blind faith and trust that they've got a plan before you hit the ground. That's what love is."
He reached out a hand and took Harley's. "I jumped off that building," he murmured sincerely, gazing into her eyes. "I came back. For you."
Harley stared back at him. "Oh my God," she whispered. "You think…you're in love with me?"
He shook his head. "I don't think anything," he said. "You don't think when you jump off a building. You just feel."
He leaned forward gently, and the twins waited with baited breath, hearts pounding as they hoped and prayed he was about to kiss her...
A hope and prayer that was swiftly disappointed as Harley reached out a hand and slapped Joker hard across the face. "Listen to me, you disgusting creep!" she shrieked, furiously. "I am not in love with you! And I'm not so unprofessional as to let my patient kiss me because he's become disgustingly and obsessively fixated on me in some perverse way he thinks is love! You oughta be ashamed of yourself! This session is over, and there will never be another one! I'm calling the guards!"
She stood up. "Harley, please…" began Joker.
"It's Dr. Quinzel, for the last time!" she snapped. "And don't think I won't file a sexual harassment report about this, Mr. Joker! Just take him back to his cell!" she ordered as the guards entered the room.
Joker was dragged off, and Harley took a deep breath. "If you two will excuse me for a moment, I'm going to need a minute to myself to get my temper back under control," she muttered.
The twins left the office, trying not to give in to despair. "How are we gonna fix this, J.J.?" asked Arleen, desperately.
"I dunno," he said. "I need to think. Mom and Dad must have bonded over something else besides his abusive childhood story. Mom's told us the details of their courtship a hundred times – there's gotta be a key in there somewhere."
"There is," said Arleen quietly, suddenly realizing. "The thing Mom and Dad bonded over, the thing that triggered Mom's true descent into madness."
"Which is?" demanded J.J.
"Batman," whispered Arleen. "We need Batman."