Well, would you look at that. I manage to get this chappie typed out in like 3 hours. I have NO idea how I did it, so don't ask. It's a talent I have I suppose. Anyhoozles, I kinda sorta have my annotated bibliography done...I just need to fix it...but other than that...I have my sources...which have been eaten by my computer...yeah don't ask...I don't get it myself really. Hope y'all enjoy!
Endlessly:
I could love you endlessly, I could fall in love with you and we could keep a miracle alive. Every time I look in your eyes, I get lost inside of your soul. What are you doing to me? Don't you know that I hate you? Don't you want my blood on your hands? Don't you want me to scream? Don't you realize that it's too late to bring me back life? I'm already further than death. I'm drowning in my desire for you and my need to kill you. I want my hands covered in your blood, I want your skin underneath my fingertips I want you to reach out and touch me, I want you to burn me alive with your beautiful eyes. I want to hear your voice when I go to bed at night, I want to lie next to you and watch the world go by. I want to end you for good, I want to make you suffer, I want to see the look in your eyes when you look up at me when I hold the knife above your heart. I want you to know that any claims of hope you had of us is nothing but fantasy we'll never have. I want you to be the one that kills me, I want my blood on your hands.. I want you to end me I want to feel your passion. I want to feel your soul wrapping around mine. I I want to know if you feel this too. I want to know if I can kill you now. I want to feel you underneath me I want to feel something besides this loneliness I feel inside. I want to bring the demon out of you.
I want to know if it hurts when I cut you up inside. I want to know if you really hate me or if I really hate you. I want to make me scream, I want to feel the power within me grow. I want you to knock me out, I want you to defeat me. I want something so much more from you than I could ever get. I want you to bleed, I want you to scream. I need you to know you're driving me crazy. I need you to know my soul burns passionately for you every time you give me that look I think I'm going to lose my mind. I want you dead, I want your soul to scream, to earn itself to me. I need you to know this isn't a game anymore. And what would you think if I told you that loved you this whole time? What would you say if I told you I never wanted to hate you, that I never loved you at all? What if I was playing with your mind?
What if I was lying right now? What if I told it was too personal to tell you how I felt about you? What if I told you that everything you've done to me was nothing more than just a wicked fantasies you dreamt of? What if I can't take it back? What if I don't want to? What if everything I said wasn't a lie? What if I tried to bring you back? What if I really did love you? Would you love me back, even though you think of me as a fool? Am I fool to fall in love with you? What if I told you that loving you is so impossible, it's not reality. I couldn't take it anymore. You burn me alive, I'd give myself to you if I could.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. If I did, then Yugioh would have ended with Bakura and Yami admitting their undying love for one another and Seto would have pulled Joey into a kiss to shut him up because Puppy and Darkshipping rock!
Warnings: My usual, y'all know what that means, but for those of you who happen to be knew to my awesomeness, it means there's lemony goodness!
Summary:
Moments away from destroying Zorc, Yami hesitates, asking Horakhty if she can set Bakura free. She agrees, telling Yami that in order for him to pass into the afterlife, he must break his enemy of the darkness, and he only as a year to do so.
Chapter three: Confusion
[Joey's POV]:
"Ugh! The nerve of dat rich pig!" I snarl throwing my things down and flopping down on the couch. I can't believe he did that! I mean I didn't really care what happened to Bakura, he's an evil bitch, but Kaiba didn't have to be so rude! I mean Yams wanted to stay. Why, I will never know, but Yams is my bud and I will help him in any way I can.
It was shocking when he told us he wanted to save Bakura. I mean how do you react to something like that. I mean they're enemies, Bakura's tried to kill us on many occassion. He won't hesitate the moment he awakens to kill Yami and the rest of us. It's a good thing he doesn't have the Ring, but still I'm sure he's dangerous even without it.
Mr. Mouto is letting us stay for the night. Everyone else is setting up the sleeping arrangements. I decided it'd be best if I slept on the couch had insisted that he'd take the couch, but after I explain to him that I'd need to get up to go to the kitchen anyways, he finally gave in.
"Hey Joey," Yug says coming into the living room wearing his PJs.
"Hey, Yug." I say.
He takes a sit beside of me on the couch.
"Where's everyone else?" I ask.
"Tristan's in the kitchen getting something to eat and Anzu's in the shower." Yug replies.
"And Ryou?" I ask.
"In one of the guest rooms." Yug says.
"Why's he up there?" I ask.
"He said he wanted to be alone for a while." Yugi shrugs. "Yami's up in my room."
"S' crazy ain't it?" I say after a moment of silence.
"Yeah it is," Yugi says. "Who would have thought Yami of all people would want to save Bakura."
"What's Yams gotta do exactly?" I ask.
"He has to expel the darkness from Bakura's heart before it completely consumes him and destroys him." Yug explains.
"But didn't he already have all the darkness in him? I mean he did bring Zorc in the world and all." I point out.
"That's true." Yug concurs, "but apparently there's a part of Bakura that didn't get consumed yet."
"I still think it's a waste of time," T says from the doorway.
"Ya get me any food, T?" I ask.
Tristan snorts, rolling his eyes. He walks into the living room with a plate of food, sitting in a chair.
"I see you made me a nice sandwich there, T." I say reaching for one of his sandwiches. He slaps my hand away.
"Hands off, you're not helpless, go get you one." he says taking a bite out of the sandwich I wanted to eat.
"But yours tastes better," I say.
Yug laughs. "You guys are so funny."
"And that's why you love us." I say.
Yug smiles. "You bet!"
"Hey guys," Anzu says coming into the living room, her hair wrapped in a towel. "What are you doing?"
"Chillin'" Tristan shrugs.
'Shouldn't we be discussing our newest predicament, not 'chillin' as you call it?" Anzu asks.
"What is there to talk about?" Tristan growls. "Yami turned his back on us."
"He did not!" Yugi exclaims, sitting up his small fists clenched at his sides. "Yami is a good person! He'd never betray us!"
"Yugi, I know he's a good person and all, but look at the facts: he wants to save Bakura." Tristan says.
"It is a bit strange," Anzu mutters.
"Damn right it is!" I shout. "Why would Yams want to-"
"Look guys, I'm sure he has his reasons, but until we know what they are, we need to trust that Yami knows what he's doing." Yugi says.
We sigh.
"Guess you're right Yug." I say, "But still…"
"It's not going to turn out well," Tristan says. "I can tell you that right now."
"Of course it's not." Ryou says from the top of the stairs. We turn to look at him, he comes down the stairs taking a seat in another chair. "Yami was foolish in trying to save Bakura, I tried to save him and…"
"Wait, wait, you tried to save him?!" I exclaim. "But why?"
"Doesn't matter why." Ryou mumbles looking away. He looks up at us again speaking louder, "All I know is that Bakura doesn't want to be saved, he doesn't care about anything, especially not himself."
"That's hard to believe based on how self-absored he is." T snorts.
"I'm sure there's more to Bakura than meets the eye." Yug says. "I think we just need to get some sleep and then we'll discuss more of this tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'm sure Yams will want to go to Kaiba's…." I growl.
"In order for Yami to save Bakura he's going to have to be around him, which means we'll have to be as well." Yugi points out.
I sigh. "I know it's just-"
"Let's just get some sleep." Anzu says getting up, she takes the towel out of her hair, stretching. "It's been a long day."
XXXXXX
[Seto's POV]:
I type away at my laptop. The geeks finally left. As long as Marik stayed out of my way, I really didn't care honestly, I just don't like the others. They're so damn annoying! Yugi-Atem-Pharaoh-Yami whatever his damn name is decided, like always, that he wanted to play hero and save Bakura. I have no idea what he was thinking in that spiky head of his when he said that, but whatever, it's his problem now.
I didn't want to believe in all of that Egyptian fairy tale nonsense, but when I saw two 'Yugi's' I was a bit suspicious. It wasn't until Atem and Bakura were separated from their hosts that I believed it. So I'm guessing that freak Mariku wasn't a figment of my imagination either right? What happened to him? Something about being sent to the Shadow Realm. Who cares.
"Nii-sama what are you doing up still?" Mokuba asks from the entrance of the living room and kitchen.
"Work," I reply without looking up. "And what are you doing up?"
"Can't sleep." he says.
I sigh, closing my laptop and putting it aside.
"Come here, tell me what's wrong." I say.
Mokuba walks over to me, taking a seat on the couch.
"I-I don't know I just have a bad feeling about all of this." my brother says softly looking down.
"Bakura's not going to hurt you. He knows better than to mess with-"
My brother looks up at me. "I'm not worried about Bakura," Mokuba cuts me off. "Well, I am but not like that…" he trails off, looking away from me.
"Hmm," I grunt.
"I mean I know he's bad, but I can't help but feel sorry for him. I mean what if what Yami said was true, what if he dies?" Mokuba asks fists clenched at his sides.
I sigh inwardly. My brother's always been trusting of other people, a little too much if you ask me. I guess that's where my trust went.
"I'm sure he'll be fine, Mokuba." I say. "Now why don't you run along upstairs and get some sleep?"
"Are you going to go to bed soon?" he asks.
I shrug.
"Seto-"
"Fine, fine." I sigh when he gives me that look. I know he won't go to bed unless I agree to go. I guess I should go, I am awfully tired.
"Good, I'm sure the others will be here in the morning." Mokuba says getting up.
"Ugh," I groan.
Mokuba laughs. "You shouldn't be so mean to them, they're really not that bad."
I give him a look of disbelief. "You're kidding right Mokuba?"
He giggles. "No, no, I'm being serious!"
"Anzu talks too much about loyalty and friendship, Tristan is bland, Yugi is too hyper, Atem won't shut up about destiny, and Joey, well, that's pretty obvious." I reply counting on my fingers.
"If you mean it's obvious that you like him, then-"
"Mokuba, what did I tell you about bringing that up?" I whisper harshly.
My brother shrugs. "I just dont' see why you won't tell him. I want you to be happy Seto." he says.
"Get in bed, and don't come back down here until morning." I say changing the subject.
"Alright, but one day you will tell him." he says getting up and heading for the stairs.
"Bed, Mokuba." I say sternly.
"Or I'll do it for you!" he giggles heading up the stairs.
XXXXXXX
[Marik's POV]:
I lie in bed beside of Bakura. We're on the third floor. Bakura's hooked up to an IV and a heart monitor. Kaiba's personal doctors have been coming in here every so often to check on Bakura. They say that he's doing a bit better. His body will get better, no doubt, but that doesn't mean he'll awaken.
I knew it would come down to this. Atem saved me by getting rid of my dark half, Mariku. If it weren't for him, I'd be in the same boat as Bakura. I wanted to save him, but I wasn't allowed in Atem's memories, so he's the only one who can save him, the thing is, why would he want to? Well, whatever the reason, it doesn't matter it's the fact that he's doing it.
I run a finger over his face. His skin is so smooth, then again, it always has been. I used to wish I could spend hours just touching him. When we were together during Battle City, I tried to do that once, it never happened again, sadly.
We went our separate ways, after Mariku took over and Bakura was banished to the Shadow Realm, I knew we'd never see each other again. Today was the first time I've seen him in over three years.
The darkness in Bakura is spreading with each passing second. I can't let that happen. I can't let him get destroyed. I don't care what the others say! Atem is wanting to help and that's fine with me. I could use all the help I can get. He helped me, and I know he can help Bakura. The thing is, will Bakura want his help. The answer is obvious: no.
Bakura hates Atem, he doesn't realize that Zorc is the evil one. He doesn't realize he's killing himself by holding onto past grudges. I understand how he feels. That's what brought us together. We were seeking out revenge, wanting to destroy Atem. Ironic how he's the one that saved me, and now, he'll save Bakura.
"Some day you'll be happy Bakura," I say wrapping my arm around his waist and pulling him closer to me.
XXXXXX
[Yami's POV]:
I couldn't sleep last night. I just went straight to Yugi's room. Yugi came in here a few hours later and snuggled up next to me, thinking I was asleep. Ryou slept in the room across the hall and Anzu took the other room. Tristan and Joey slept downstairs, probably eating all night. I smile to myself.
I don't want to get up. I don't want to face my destiny, but I know I have to. It's a scary thing, there's just so much pressure. How can one person handle this? All of my existence I've been saving the world from various foes, including Bakura. Ironic how I'm trying to save the one person that threatened the world the worst.
I can't get his words out of my mind. Ever since I've regained my memories, I've been going through them. The ones of the past and the ones in the present times. My double lives. Some would say that would be a blessing, to get another chance at life. I suppose it is, but the circumstances were not something I'd do again.
I turn over in the bed and I'm met with Yugi's eyes.
"Morning," he yawns.
"Same to you, you sleep well, Aibou?" I ask.
He closes his eyes, nodding.
"What time are we supposed to go to Kaiba's?" I ask.
"Umm...like ten I think?" Yugi mumbles unsure.
I look over him at the alarm clock on the dresser. "Then don't you think it's time we get up? It's 8:45." I say.
"Five more minutes." Yugi sighs dreamily snuggling into the pillows.
"Yugi-"
"Hmm?"
"We need to get up." I say.
Yugi sighs sitting up. "Alright, alright,"
XXXXXXXX
After we get ready and dressed, we head to Kaiba's. Mr. Mouto, of course, decides to stay. Duke had left to tend to his own business last night. Whether he comes back to visit is anyone's guess.
"Hey guys!" Mokuba chirps as we walk into the mansion. "How are you?"
"Fine," is the echoed reply between us.
"That's good, you guys hungry?" Mokuba asks as we walk into the living room.
"Ya betcha!" Joey exclaims.
"Joey, we just ate!" Anzu scolds.
"An'? When food is offered, ya take it." Joey says. "Ain't dat right, T?"
"Sure is, now lead the way to the kitchen, Mokuba!" Tristan cries.
"Alright, alright." he laughs leading the food monsters into the kitchen. "Yami," he says through the entranceway.
"Hmm?" I say.
"Bakura's on the third floor, three room on the left." he says.
"Thank you," I say.
He nods, closing the door behind him.
"Are you going to go up there?" Yugi asks.
"In a moment." I say taking a seat on the couch.
"You don't have to do this Yami." Ryou says as he, Anzu, and Yugi take a seat.
I shake my head. "I made a promise, there's no going back now." I say.
Ryou looks away, staring at the grandfather clock in the corner.
"I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do," he says. "But you have no idea what you're getting yourself into by trying to save him."
"Ryou, you can't blame yourself for not being able to save your yami." I say.
Ryou turns to me, laughing humorlessly. "You think I care about that?" he whispers.
"Then why are you getting so upset?" Anzu asks.
The thief's Hikari looks up at her, "I care, whether you guys want to believe me or not, I care about you. Bakura has kept me from you. I won't allow him to do it anymore. I want let him-"
"I told you before that Bakura won't hurt you or any of us." I say putting my hand on his shoulder. "I'll save him-"
"You can't save everyone, Yami!" he exclaims.
We jump at his outburst.
"I know I can't," I mumble looking down.
"Then why try to save him?" Ryou asks. "It's it really worth it in the end?"
I snap my head up, his eyes and mine boring into each other. I can feel Anzu and Yugi staring at us, wanting answers.
"I know he's done bad things. I know that he hates me, and I'm not very fond of him either. I know this is dangerous, but I can't allow him to be destroyed no matter how much you or anyone else hates him. He's still a human being, Ryou."
"I used to think that too, Yami." Ryou mumbles.
"Why are you even here?" Marik snarls.
"Marik, when did you-" Yugi gasps.
"I've been here," Marik replies rolling his eyes. "I came down to get something to eat." he turns to face Ryou. "I won't tolerate your selfishness, Ryou. Bakura needs help and Yami is the only one that can give him the help he needs. He made a promise to Horakhty. Who cares why he's doing it, the fact that he's doing it is all that matters to me."
"Easy for you to say!" Ryou hisses fiercely. "He always liked you!"
Marik shrugs. "What can I say? I'm likeable. I mean who wouldn't like this?" he purrs running his hands up and down his body.
"I don't hate Bakura, I don't want him destroyed, okay? I just don't want Yami to have to go through extreme measures."
"And he won't have to, not with me around." Marik says.
"You're going to help?" I ask.
Marik rolls his eyes. "Duh!" he scoffs. "Now then, I'm going to go get me some food. If you want to see him alone then you can, but if you hurt him-"
"I won't, Marik." I say. "And thank you."
Marik waves me off.
XXXXXXXX
[Ryou's POV]:
How can I explain this to them? How can I explain the reason why I don't want Yami to try and save Bakura? I mean I know it's wrong, but Bakura will never get better. He doesn't want to get better. Marik can get mad at me all he wants, but it's the truth. I shared a body with Bakura, I think I'd know more than anyone how Bakura would react to all this 'saving' him nonsense.
I used to want to save Bakura. Why, I had no clue. I guess because he was always around. My dad was never around and I had no friends. Bakura is the reason for that, and yet I clinged onto him like a helpless fool who wanted love. Bakura did nothing but treat me like shit.
Bakura would lock me in my soul room for months at a time and cause destruction using my body. I hated it, I hated how he had so much control over me! I wanted to get rid of him, I wanted him gone forever, until I saw one of his dreams.
It was the most frightening thing I had ever seen. Usually, he kept his side of the mind link pretty well guarded, but for some reason, this night wasn't the case. I know about Bakura's past, well, his village being destroyed. I know he's in pain. I know he needs help, but he's not going to accept it. I've tried it, and look where it got me.
Yami is wasting his time, just like I did. Yami will lose himself, he'll lose everything trying to please Bakura. You can't. Bakura is impossible to please. He wants more than anyone could offer. Yami feels it's right to save Bakura. He believes he can do it. I dont' want to be here when the truth comes out, when Yami realizes Bakura can't be saved because he doesn't want to be. But then again, Yami did save Marik, so perhaps he can save Bakura.
I glance over at the grandfather clock, the time is reading 11:15. Yami's been gone for an awful long time. Marik had gone upstairs not too long ago after he finished eating. Joey, Tristan, Anzu, and Yugi are sitting around in the living room. Joey and Tristan are dueling. Anzu is reading a book and Yugi and Mokuba are watching TV and watching Joey and Tristan's duel.
"Ry, ya wanna duel man?" Joey asks.
"No thank you, I'm fine." I say still staring at the clock.
"Oh c'mon, you can't just sit there all day staring at a clock!" Joey exclaims. "So grab your deck and let's get to dueling."
I laugh, "Alright, but don't you think we should make this more interesting?"
XXXXXXX
[Yugi's POV]:
We-Ryou, Anzu, Tristan, Joey, Mokuba and I are hanging out in the living room. Joey challenged Ryou to duel, but Ryou wants to 'up the stakes'. Kinda sounds like something Bakura would say and I guess Joey thinks the same thing because the look on his face speaks of pure terror.
"W-what do you have in mind?" my best friend squeaks.
Ryou gives Joey a look then burst out in a fit of laughter.
"Joey, why are you looking so scared. I'm not Bakura. What gain could I possibly get from hurting you or anyone else?"
"I-"
"Relax, I just want a fun duel that's all." he says. "Just a friendly bet."
Joey stares at Ryou. "A-are ya sure…?"
"Positive." Ryou smiles. "Now then Yugi," he says looking over at me, "Do you have any ideas?"
I rub my chin a mischievous grin forming on my lips. "If Joey loses he has to dress up in one of Kaiba's suits and greet him when he comes in tonight."
"WAHH!" Joey exclaims jumping up. "I am not doing dat!"
"You will if you lose." Mokuba smirks.
Joey growls, sitting down. 'And what about you?" he asks Ryou.
"Me?" he asks innocently pointing to himself. "Hmm that's a hard one, what should I do if I lose?"
"Ya can't decide!" Joey shouts. "Dat's not fair!"
"Life's tough Joey." Mokuba giggles.
"Hey!"
"I've got one." Tristan says. We turn to him. "If Ryou loses then he has to eat Joey's cooking for a week."
"Burn!" I laugh giving Tristan a high five. "That's a great one."
"What's wrong with Joey's cooking?" Ryou asks.
Tristan gives our white-haired friend a look. "You'll find out if you don't win." he says patting him on the back.
"Alright, let's get to dueling because I am not being Kaiba's servant!"
"You will today!" Mokuba laughs.
"And remember you have to dress up in one of his outfits." Anzu winks.
Joey groans.
XXXXXXXXX
[Yami's POV]:
I head upstairs, my heart beating frantically in my chest. I'm not sure why I'm so nervous, but I barely managed to get up the stairs! I walk down the hallway slowly. Kaiba has such a nice house, he earned it though. He may be seem cold, but I know deep down inside he's a good person.
I finally make it to the room. I almost wished Marik were still in here instead of downstairs, but I suppose I can't always have Marik around when my heart is nagging me to see Bakura. I walk in, Bakura is lying on his back hooked to an IV and heart monitor. I feel my chest tighten. I close the door softly behind me so not to disturb him and walk towards him. I stand there, watching his chest rise and fall. He looks so much different than he usually does. What does he dream of? Is it about destroying the world? Or something else entirely?
Everyone keeps asking me the same question over and over again: 'why'? Why did I save him? I can't give them an answer, I just did what I felt was in my heart. I don't understand it myself, how can I expect my friends to? Ryou seems the most upset. Not that I could blame him. As he told Marik, he does care about Bakura, but how can you save someone that's so...evil?
Is Bakura truly evil? That's the question that keeps plaguing my mind. Why would my heart be telling me to save him if he was evil? I don't want to do this, I want to forget he exist and walk away. That would have been the easier, and probably the smartest decision. I could be in the afterlife, but instead I chose to save my enemy.
Why?
I knew before I asked Horakhty to free him from the Shadow Realm that he would never accept my help. He doesn't want it. She told me the risks, and I accept them. I shouldn't have, and yet, I did. I knew this was going to be the most dangerous thing for me to do, and yet I welcomed it with open arms.
"You can sit down you know." a voice says causing me to jump.
"Oh, hey Marik." I say not looking up, continuing to stare at Bakura.
I hear Marik walk over to me. "Sit," he points to the chair behind me.
I sigh, taking a seat. He sits on the bed. We stare at Bakura.
"Thank you," Marik says.
"For what?" I ask.
Marik looks up at me, staring straight into mine.
"For trying to help Bakura. I know it's not an easy thing for you, and I know he'll give you hell. But I really do apperciate you attempting to save him."
"You seem like the only one." I mumble looking away.
"I'm sure the others will understand one day." Marik says.
I look at him. "Understand what exactly?"
Marik gives me a smile, "Why the reason you're saving Bakura."
"Marik, I don't even know why I'm saving him." I sigh.
"So you just magically decided you wanted to save him after he had raised Zorc and threatened to end the world?" Marik scoffs.
"No," I say. "It's complicating…"
"Oh please, like I haven't known complications?" Marik laughs.
"True," I say. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but when I was about to have Horakhty blast Zorc, I could have sworn I heard Bakura's voice calling out for help."
"And is that the reason you decided to save him?" Marik asks.
I shrug. "I guess, I mean I wasn't sure if it was his voice or not, it sounded different than how he usually sounds...and then there was all those conversations we've had. And that look in his eyes when my father took the spirits away." I say.
"Bakura wants help," Marik says looking at said man. "He needs it, but he doesn't know how to ask for it and I know he won't want you to help…"
"I'm not giving up on him, Marik." I say. "I didn't give up on you, so I see no reason to give up on him."
Marik looks at me and smiles. "Thank you." he says.
I nod.
We sit in silence for a moment.
"When do you suppose he'll awaken?" I ask.
"The doctors say he's doing much better." Marik replies. "But…"
"It depends on if he wants to awaken." I finish.
"Yeah, I just wish there was a way for us to give him some hope to awaken. I'm sure he's beating himself up over what happened." Marik says.
I cringe involuntarily, imagining Bakura's internal war within himself.
"He'll awaken," I whisper mostly to myself. "If not…"
"He'll die." Marik says his hand clutching the sheets tightly.
"I'll do everything I can to make sure he's saved, Marik. I know how much he means to you." I say placing my hand on his arm.
Next chapter is going to be awesome! I'm so excited! ;f;akf;afafafafk review lovelies!