"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
So, how are you guys liking the longer episodes? Good or bad?
This is also the second tandem episode of the season, and some events of this episode take place at the same time as last week's episode! Don't get mixed up! Milly and Katie will be doing enough of that themselves...
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.
Prerequisites (i.e. read these before reading this):
- Entries #093-6-8 ("Phineas is Mine!," Chapters 6-8)
- Entry #365-5 ("I'm Your Next Class President!," Chapter 5)
Concurrent with (means can be read along with):
- Entry #386 ("Fireside Diaries," Episode 202)
"Moment of truth," Milly told Katie, as she placed a hand on the doorknob. "Ready?"
Katie nodded. She then put her own hand on the knob, over Milly's.
"Milly... in case we don't get through this alive..."
"Yes?"
"I'd just like to say that it's been a pleasure cooking with you."
With that, the two girls turned the knob in unison. The door swung open, and they stepped outside to a small crowd of a few dozen, including their teacher, Chef Guilbaud. The chef pointed to a nearby table, where three people were sitting, and serving as judges: a balding man in his late 40s, an unkempt adult male in his mid-20s, and Ginger. The two men seemed pleased to be there, while Ginger was an unwilling participant in all this. If the ropes tied around her body and her legs were any indication, which they were.
Before each of them was a paper plate with a rectangular-shaped slice of strawberry shortcake on it, as well as plastic utensils. All three judges, including Ginger, quickly sliced off a piece and raised it towards their mouths with their forks.
And then...
-
Entry #387 [FSD203] - Cake Boss (01.23.12)
-
Entry #387 - Co-Written by Milly and Katie
(Milly) As you probably know by now, we've had problems... baking.
(Katie) Like the time I tried to win Phineas' heart by making him a cake...
"You know how the recipe for the frosting on the cake called for vanilla extract?"
"Yeah. So?"
"IT WAS RAT POISON!"
"The cake... that Adyson... is touching... right now?"
Ginger shook her head, wondering why Katie would say that... until Katie ran past her and back towards the table.
"THE CAKE!" Katie shouted. "IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!"
(M) Or the time we baked muffins to give out during my class president campaign...
"You know those muffins we gave out? Yeah... poisonous mushroom spores."
"How? My mom bought those!"
"Did you WASH THEM before you put them in the batter?"
Milly was confused.
"Wait, you have to WASH them?"
(K) And then there was the Fireside Girls' Bake Sale...
(M) Ohhhhh, why'd you have to bring THAT up?
Four ambulances pulled away from the bake sale site, each carrying two very sick children. Isabella was glaring at Milly and Katie, who were standing sheepishly behind their table.
"Care to explain?" she asked, with her hands on her hips.
Milly held up one of the index cards Isabella had given her earlier in the week. It read 'Do put nuts in your baked goods.'
"Really, girls? REALLY?"
Isabella saw that Milly's thumb was covering up a word on the card. She promptly moved it, and the girls saw that the now-visible word was 'not.' As in, 'Do not put nuts in your baked goods.'
"Ohhhhhh..." Katie grunted. "Now mine makes sense!"
She held up her card, which read 'The customers here are allergic to nuts.'
(M) I have no idea what we're thinking that day.
(K) I still don't know what we were thinking that week!
(M) Anyway, as you might've guessed, because of our snafus, both Katie and I have been banned from stepping foot in a kitchen until we turn 18.
(K) Who knew you could get banned from a kitchen?
(M) Not me, that's for sure. Luckily, there was a way out...
Milly and Katie were currently standing in front of the entrance to Chef Guilbaud's Cooking School.
"This won't be too bad, right?"
"Relax! I've been here before, remember? I heard they hold a Remedial Cooking Class here! And it just so happens that the first class is TODAY! All we have to do is pass the class, and we get our kitchen ban lifted!"
"Sounds foolproof, Katie! Nothing can go wrong!"
"NO!"
The girls had shown up just as the class was being dismissed, and Chef Guilbaud was not one to let someone enroll after the first session had been completed. Although they were determined to get in anyway...
"Please, please, please, please, PLEASE!" they pleaded, both girls kneeling before him.
"This ees a six-week class that meets once a week! I do not allow late registration for eet because eet ees impossible to pass without attending every session!"
"But you have to let us in!" exclaimed Milly.
Katie added, "We need this! Make an exception, pretty please!"
To sweeten the pot, each of them pulled out a check for $250 that had been given to them by their parents.
"You realize zere is a $30 late registration fee, non? Each?"
The girls looked at each other. They did not know what to do... that is, until Milly got an idea.
"How about becoming a member of our Fireside Girls Cupcake of the Month Club?"
"Why would I be interest in that tripe?"
Milly lowered her head in sorrow.
"Although, I know deux relatives that eat zose cupcakes as fast as a Frenchman eats le croissant!"
Katie quickly jumped into the deal. "This would be a good time to mention that we allow people to gift club memberships, at no extra charge!"
"In zat case, velcome, les filles!"
He took their checks and went to get their registration paperwork. Milly and Katie gave each other a high-five in celebration.
One week later...
(M) We thought this would be a piece of cake...
Katie had just finished throwing a bunch of ingredients into a blender. She pressed the 'blend' button, but to her surprise, nothing happened. She rose up on her tiptoes to peer in through the uncovered top, unaware Milly had already figured out the problem.
The blender was not plugged in. And she was remedying that in 3... 2... 1...
"AAAAHHHHH!" screamed Katie, as all sorts of fruit juice and pulp came flying out, into her face, clothes, and onto the floor and counter.
Milly immediately unplugged the blender and then slowly peeked up over the counter, to see the mess on and around Katie.
(K) Who came up with THAT? It's NEVER that easy!
A different week...
Katie was reading a recipe for banana nut bread out of a cookbook when she noticed she had a made a horrendous error! The recipe had called for two tablespoons of yeast, yet there were two completely empty boxes of yeast next to her.
At that exact moment, Milly was about to open the oven to pull their finished loaf out. She sniffed the air around the door, and sensing their bread was burning, she pulled the handle...
"EEEEEKKKKKK!" squealed Milly as the loaf exploded, sending burnt pieces of bread flying all over the place.
Katie had ducked behind her counter to avoid getting hit, but once the bread had stopped flying, she came out from behind. She saw Milly had a few pieces clinging to her clothes, and many others all around the floor. As for their loaf, or what was left of it... it was a gooey mess that spread from their pan and into the oven.
And yet another week...
Milly and Katie had finished a pound cake, and it looked perfect! They had already covered the top in whipped cream, and all they had left to do was top it with a cherry.
"Finally!" Milly exclaimed. "Nothing could go wrong now!"
Holding the cherry by the stem, Milly gingerly placed the cherry on the top, in the center. She then pressed down on the top ever so slightly...
And the cake exploded, covering the two of them from head to toe in cake and cream.
"Oh, come on!" growled Katie.
After the last week of class, Chef Guilbaud had told Milly and Katie to stay afterwards. Needless to say, he was not pleased with their performance.
"Never, in all my years, 'ave I ever met such fuels!"
Katie scratched her head, confused. "Fuels?"
"He means 'fools,'" Milly told her. "Accent, you know."
"Ze only zing you two have not done yet ees send someone to zee hospital!"
The girls laughed nervously. At least they had avoided that this time.
"What do you have to zay for yourselves?"
Milly and Katie thought for a second before answering. Or, rather, pleading, as they both got down on their knees in front of the chef.
"Please don't fail us!" cried Katie.
"We get A's and B's in school!" exclaimed Milly. "We're just lost when it comes to finding our way around a kitchen!"
"Give us a chance! If we can't bake, then what will we do for fun?"
"My mom wants me to take up knitting! KNITTING!"
Chef Guilbaud sighed. He could not stand whiners... but he did admire those unwilling to quit no matter how bad of a chef they were.
"Sacre bleu! I vill help you prepare for the final exam! Vut you must listen to every-zing I zay! Comprenez-vous?"
Milly and Katie each picked one of the chef's legs and wrapped their arms around it, happy to get one last chance.
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" they shouted.
"Vefore you can make a cake, you must know what goes in eet! And you must able to use your senses to tell!"
Milly and Katie were both standing behind the counter, and they had blindfolds covering their eyes. Chef Guilbaud was standing in between them, with a wooden spoon in hand. Before them were four small, cylindrical containers. They were labeled, from their right to their left: basil, rat poison, cinnamon, and duck fat.
"Pick zee right ingredient... or else!"
Milly gulped in fear, but Katie had a confident smile on her face. She reached for a container at complete random - it just so happened to be the rat poison - and just as she touched it, she felt her hand get smacked by the spoon.
"OW!"
"Wrong, wrong, WRONG!"
Milly leaned forward and tried to smell each of the containers. After going through the process twice, she pointed at one of them...
...and was rewarded with her hand being hit by the spoon.
"OW!"
"No, no, NO!"
Milly ripped off her blindfold and saw that her pulsating-in-pain finger was pointing at the rat poison.
"Maybe eef we deprive you of more than one sense, you will do better!"
This time, in addition to being blindfolded, the girls also had on noise-cancelling headphones. In front of them on the counter were several small pieces of different fruits. Chef Guilbaud picked up a grape and pressed it against Milly's lips, signaling to her that she was to open her mouth and eat.
After allowing her to swallow it, he lifted one side of Milly's headphones high enough so he could ask her...
"What was zat?"
Milly quickly replied, "Apple, sir!"
Guilbaud groaned, then asked, "Are you daft?"
He then snapped the headphone back into place, just hard enough for Milly to emit a small yelp. Guilbaud shook his head, then picked up a slice of apple, and, using the same procedure he did for Milly, had Katie down it.
"What was zat?"
Katie thought for a second, then answered, "Um... a grape?"
"Are you SERIOUS?"
Katie then also felt her headphone snap back into place.
"Ouch..."
"Surely you can zeperate zee eggs!"
They were four eggs in front of Milly, and another four in front of Katie. The blonde instantly came up with an idea, as she literally separated the eggs... by spacing them apart so none of them were touching any of the others.
"Ta da!" she exclaimed, showing off her work.
Chef Guilbaud did not even both with corrective punishment, as he just resorted to burying his face in his hands and shaking his head.
"Why, why, why?"
"Um, Chef Guilbaud?" interrupted Milly.
"Vat?"
The Chef looked up and saw that Milly had successfully separated the eggs the right way, by cracking the eggs and putting the yolks in a separate bowl from the whites and then disposing of the shells.
"You... you did it!"
But Milly was far from done, as she continued through the process of using them for a cake! The Chef and Katie just watched in stunned silence, not saying a word until Milly plopped a plate with a finished sponge cake before them. They both pinched off a piece and tasted it. Instantly, their eyes lit up with glee.
"Milly! This is the best sponge cake I've ever had!"
"I agree," the Chef nodded. "Forget zee final, Milly! In my eyes, you 'ave passed with zee flying colors!"
Chef Guilbaud produced a piece of paper, which stated that Milly had been banned from all kitchens until her 18th birthday. He then tore the document right in front of her, and Milly cheered in celebration.
"YES!"
Milly then started dancing.
"I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!"
"I did it! I did it! I did it!"
"If you want to pass zis test, I suggest you GET STARTED!"
Milly had been snapped out of her dream by Chef Guilbaud's yelling. It was already the day of the final exam, and she had spent the first 15 minutes of the test period daydreaming.
"And you," the Chef said, turning to Katie, "PUT DOWN THAT RACKET!"
Apparently, Katie had been out of it as well. She tossed the racket aside, picked up the carton of eggs, and ran to hide on the other side of Milly. Satisfied with Katie's reaction, Chef Guilbaud walked away to check on the other students.
"Lemme guess," Milly looked at Katie, "you WEREN'T dreaming of impressing the Chef so much you passed the class without taking the final, were you?"
Katie shook her head. "I was imagining us beating Isabella and Adyson on the tennis court! Instead of what actually happened..."
"Shhhh!" Milly shushed her partner. "I think the Chef's coming back!"
But it was not the Chef coming up to them. It was Holly. And she was a mess, given that she had a rope burn on her left hand and a red palm print on her right cheek.
"Holly!" they shouted. "What happened to you?"
"Ginger happened!"
To prove her point, Holly brought them outside. A crowd, mostly of loved ones of the participating students, had gathered. Three people were sitting at the judges' table. Two of them were men, neither of which the girls recognized. Those two looked over at the third judge with concern. That was because the third one was Ginger. Though they had no issue with her being a young girl, who probably had no prior judging experience.
Their issue was that Ginger had been bound to the chair with rope, her body and legs pinned and unable to move. She was also gagged so she could not scream... though she obviously was not letting that stop her from trying, if her muffled screeches were any indication.
"Is that necessary?" Milly asked Holly.
"Trust me," Holly put a hand on her shoulder, "and I mean this as a friend... but ya'll need all the help you can get to pass this! And since Ginger was the only one not busy today, she volunteered!"
"Could you AT LEAST ungag her?" Katie requested.
Holly supposed she could do that. She went over and undid the gag. But the second she was able to speak unrestricted, Ginger yelled...
"THEY'RE GONNA KILL US!"
Holly quickly retied the gag, keeping Ginger from saying anything more. She laughed nervously as she turned to look at the other judges.
"Heh heh... don't remove that 'til the judging, k?"
Both men nodded, even as Ginger fidgeted in her chair in desperation. Holly then glanced back to her friends.
"I'm goin' cross-town to see how Isabella and Adyson are doing! Good luck, you two!"
With that, Holly departed. Milly and Katie looked at each other, as Ginger's presence, although forced upon her, had inspired them.
"What do you say we bake a cake that'll make everyone proud?" Katie asked of Milly.
"I say... let's get baking!"
Milly and Katie raced back to the kitchen, where they gathered a carton of strawberries, some baking soda, flour, sugar, and other ingredients, and went to work. An hour later, a finished, but untopped, cake sat before them.
"I dunno," hesitated Milly. "I don't think it was in the oven long enough."
"One minute!" Chef Guilbaud shouted from across the room.
"We don't have time to throw it back in!" exclaimed Katie. "Quick, top it!"
Milly sprayed whipped cream on top, then Katie took what was left of their strawberries and threw them on, in a circular pattern.
"TIME!"
The girls breathed a sigh of relief. They had succeeded in baking a cake without anything going wrong. But that was only half of the final exam. The other half... was the taste test.
Milly and Katie made their way outside, joining the other students of the class. They were greeted by Chef Guilbaud.
"Ahhh... last ones out, first ones to get their cake tasted!"
The chef clapped twice towards a nearby table, where a bunch of volunteers where in the process of slicing all of the cakes for tasting. One of them, carrying a tray with three slices of Milly and Katie's strawberry shortcake on it, headed over to the judges' table. She proceeded to put each slice, which was on its own plate, in front of each of the judges. She then untied Ginger's arms from the chair and removed her gag. Ginger was now oddly silent even with her ability to scream that she wanted no part of this, apparently resigned to her fate of tasting her friends' creation...
...and chancing dying because of doing so.
"Normally," Chef Guilbaud prefaced, "one only needs two of zee three judges to like your concoction to pass."
He then stared intensely at Milly and Katie.
"But in your case, ma petite filles... you need all three!"
The Chef turned his attention back to the judges and motioned them to pick up their plastic forks and begin tasting. Afraid to watch, Milly covered her eyes with her hands. Katie kept hers open, but she grabbed Milly's left arm and held onto it tightly. They waited anxiously for the judges to render their verdict.
"Delicious!" remarked the younger of the two men. "I could definitely see some of my girl friends liking this!"
Katie loosened her grip slightly. That was one good review.
"It's not like Mom used to make," commented the older man, "but it's better than what Dad used to make! I'll take it!"
That was two. Milly spread her fingers a little so she could see in-between them. Their fate was now in the hands of a fellow Fireside Girl... but it was anything but a sure thing. Especially since Ginger was taking her sweet time chewing on her piece.
"Please say yes," mumbled Milly, "please say yes, please say yes!"
Finally, Ginger swallowed the last of it with a big gulp. All eyes were on her as she opened her eyes - she had shut them the entire time she was chewing - and stated her decision.
"Wow! That was so sweet! And, and... I don't feel sick or anything! In fact... may I have another, please?"
"Congratulations!" proclaimed Chef Guilbaud. "Milly and Katie, you pass!"
Milly and Katie started jumping for joy.
"We passed, we passed, WE PASSED!"
Ginger wanted to join in her friends' celebration, but since her body was still tied to the chair, she settled for jumping up and down with her chair. Milly and Katie pulled out the documents announcing their ban from the kitchen, and they ripped them apart for all to see, signifying their freedom to enter one to cook whenever they pleased.
A couple days later...
"And that's the story of why we can cook again!" stated a very giddy Katie.
Katie had told the story at the lodge, in front of the rest of the troop, who applauded upon the conclusion of the tale. At that exact moment, Milly, who was next to her, grabbed a pan of homemade cupcakes from the table beside them, and she went and began handing them out. But Isabella noticed something off immediately as Milly stopped in front of her to give her first choice.
"Uh, girls... is that what I think it is?"
She was pointing to what looked like a rat's behind, tail included, sticking out of the top of one of the cupcakes. Ginger saw it, screamed in terror, and ran out of the room. Everyone else followed suit, leaving Milly and Katie behind with the tainted cupcakes.
"It's just a fake!" shouted Milly. "It's rubber! I left it in there as a joke!"
Katie walked over and poked at the protrusion once. It moved.
"Ummm..."
The rat's head then popped up, and it hissed at the girls. They both screamed, with Milly tossing the pan upwards in fright, and they bolted from the room as well. The pan landed on the ground, shockingly intact, and once it had settled, the rat popped up once again, and resumed what it had been doing before it was interrupted.
Devouring the girls' lovely cupcakes.
End Entry
Author's Notes:
This one was fun to write, especially since it closes the 'Baking Disasters' mini-arc that has been rearing its head since "Phineas is Mine!" Not saying there won't be more kitchen mishaps, but at least they will no longer be of the 'that might kill someone' variety.
Next week, girls starting getting their second solo story in the series! Tune in to see which girl will lead off this round!