"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
So, those of you who follow me on Twitter and/or check my website regularly, you'd probably read this when it debuted last month on the latter. If not, one, shame on you, and two, this is new to you! This is also another first... the series' first entry written by three girls at once!
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.
Entry #274 - Co-written by Isabella, Gretchen, and Adyson
(Isabella) OMG, readers! Do we have a story to tell you today!
(Adyson) Is it the same one that I'm thinking of telling? Like, there's this cute boy you just met that you're totally, totally, like, totally into?
(I) You know it, girlfriend!
(Gretchen) You two aren't the only ones.
(A) No way! You too?
(I) What are the, like, odds, and junk?
(G) 3,279,805 to 1.
(A) That's totally insane, totally!
(I) OMG! I say we share stories! The world has to know of how drool-worthy these guys are.
(G) Because that's what we do! Run a gossip blog!
(A) That's what our fans like about us, right? Gossip, gossip, gossip! Totally!
(I) Then let's do what us girls do best! Talk about our men!
(G/A) Yeah!
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Entry #274 [FSD208] - Tales of Misguided Desire (03.27.12/04.23.12)
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A few weeks ago, at a ski resort located 50 miles north of Danville...
(A) I totally met my dreamboat on the slopes. I wasn't even looking for cute boys. I just happened to totally be on vacation with my folks...
Adyson hopped off of the ski lift, and she was poised and ready to go. She was wearing a thick orange flannel jacket, a pair of blue jeans, a red bonnet with a cottontail-like ball at the top, a pair of gloves with bunnies on them, and a pair of goggles, which were resting just above her eyes. She also had a small snowboard in hand.
(A) I was ready to totally hit the slopes for the first time. And I couldn't be prouder of myself!
"Time to be the first Fireside Girl to make it down Mole Hill Trail on a snowboard in one piece without having taken a single lesson," Adyson proclaimed. "Because I'm totally that good!"
With that, Adyson leaned forward and began her descent down the hill. She carved through the powder as if she had been snowboarding since she was a toddler, easily navigating around trees, dodging slower boarders on the trail, and even pulling off a few simple tricks and grabs off of some early minor drops.
"YAHOO!" she screamed upon clearing a ramp and landing safely. "This is so easy!"
She glanced further down the mountain, as the drops began to get steeper. Ahead of her, she spotted a guy, maybe a year or two older than she was, showing off. He had turned around so that he was facing away from an upcoming ramp.
Adyson gasped. "Is he crazy?"
The young boarder reached the ramp, still facing the wrong way, and went flying off of the end. He started spinning and twirling in tandem, seemingly in control, before disappearing over the ridge and out of Adyson's sight. Sensing the guy might have bitten off more than he could chew, Adyson leaned forward, aiming to hit the ramp. She did so successfully, although upon coming off the edge, the realization hit her that this was a bigger drop than she expected.
"Oh, no! Oh, no no no no no NO! AAAHHHHH!"
Adyson closed her eyes and hoped for the best. The next thing she knew, she felt her board hit the ground flat. But that was quickly followed by her butt, back, and head, as she had been leaning back the whole time. She slid down the mountain, screaming in anguish.
(A) I was already fearing the worst. A hospital trip was totally in my future. But then...
She felt a gloved hand grab her and start to pull her upwards. She stopped feeling her back brush against the hard ground, and a few seconds later, she felt the terrain level out beneath her feet. She then began to slow down, with the help of her unknown savior. Once they were stopped, Adyson fell back once more. But this time, it was into the arms of the aforementioned hero, at which point she finally opened her eyes in relief, in order to see who had just saved her life.
It was the boy that she had seen go over the end just seconds ahead of her.
"Wha? You're okay?"
The boy laughed. "Why wouldn't I be? You, on the other hand... I don't think making the Mole Hill your first try was a good idea."
Adyson attempted to pull herself up to her feet, to prove that she was tougher than she looked. But her back refused to cooperate.
"Unh," she said, wincing.
The boy smiled as he helped Adyson off to the side of the trail, and then propped her up against a tree, into a sitting position. He then retrieved her snowboard before turning his attention back to her.
He sat down on the snow next to her and started running his hand up and down Adyson's back. She was not comfortable with it at first, but soon enough, she did not care, as she could feel him dull the pain in her back away. A smile formed on her face.
"Amazing! I... I feel so much better already." Adyson turned to face her savior for the first time. "I guess I should totally thank you. Uh..."
The boy lifted his goggles off his face and up onto his blonde locks, giving Adyson a chance to stare into his baby blue eyes before he finally told her his name.
"Taylor."
"I'm Adyson. Pleased to meet you, and again, thanks for totally saving me!"
Taylor removed his hand from Adyson's back, and once he did, she once more tried to get to her feet. She reached behind her, grabbed the tree trunk with her hands, and hoisted herself up. He chuckled.
"My, cute, tough, and quick on the uptake! We haven't even started, and I'm learning more about you than you are about me!"
Adyson sandwiched Taylor's right hand in between her two own hands. She looked up at him and said, "Well, we'd better get movin'! I totally can't wait to get to know you. That is, IF you can keep up!"
She made a bolt for the nearest lift station, giggling gleefully as she ran with her snowboard. Taylor followed quickly afterward.
[(A) I had an incredible time with Taylor! He helped smooth out some of my rough edges; I totally played with his hair. He taught me how to show off; I showed him up when I beat him in a race. He bought me some hot chocolate, I totally gave him my phone number. Sigh...
(I) You gave him your phone number? Your ACTUAL number? For really real?
(A) For really, really real! He's totally perfect.
(G) Taylor can't be perfect! Because my Larry is the absolute scientific definition of the word!
(A) What does Larry have that Taylor totally doesn't have?
(G) You'll see. Let me take you back in time, exactly 504 hours ago!]
Three weeks ago, inside the Googolplex Mall...
(G) I was engaged in my twice-a-week stroll through Scope, Danville's resident emporium of all kinds of scopes...
A poster taped to one of the store's display windows read 'We sell anything that ends in -scope. Except a horoscope. We show you the stars, not what they mean!'
(G) I was over by the microscopes, which are located between the periscopes and the riflescopes and before you get to the cinemascopes - whenever they're in stock, that is. You know how it is with half-century old technology. But as I was saying...
One of the microscopes suddenly caught Gretchen's attention. She picked it up off of the shelf, holding it by the base, and she began to examine it with here eyes.
"No way! A backlight, lens-in-lens-IN-lens technology, and has a 2000x zoom? I had hypothesized that such a device could not be mass-produced and sold to the average person at a reasonable price for at least for another decade! Wow..."
"Silly girl..."
Gretchen looked up and then turned to her left. The voice had come from a brown-haired boy, who actually was a few inches shorter than she was. He was wearing blue-rimmed glasses and had freckles on both sides of his face.
"Do you not know that the 'in' thing among scientific prodigies is to make big things smaller? Make small things big is SO two milliseconds ago."
The boy calmly took the microscope from Gretchen's hands, placed it back on the shelf, and then he grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the telescopes.
"The average biped cares not of what things on Earth are made of," he explained, "but, instead, of what things elsewhere in the universe are made of! They want to know how black holes form, how shooting stars can keep their shape even though they race at several times the speed of light, and if other planets are habitable."
"Really? Why, tell me more, oh great one!"
"The name I was given upon birth was Larry," he told her. "But you may call me your Master!"
Gretchen nodded. "Yes, Master!"
"Very well. Shall we discuss more over the consumption of edibles, followed by a trip to my laboratory, where we may gaze upon the constellations in the night sky?"
Gretchen smiled. "Sounds peachy!"
Larry grabbed Gretchen by the hand once more, and this time he pulled her towards the store's exit.
(G) I never realized until that day that my place was under Larry's thumb. Listening to his theories about the future of the study of astronomy and agreeing with them without question, helping him keep his laboratory neat and polished, tending to his every need, and gazing at the stars while enjoying some cheesecake baked by his Mom... that's as close to perfection as it gets, girls!
(A) Sure. Nothing feels like love like totally giving up your free will and train of thought.
(G) But YOUR boy only has YOUR number. Mine has already brought me to his living quarters! So there!
(I) Girls, girls! I'm sure both Taylor and Larry have their pluses, but, like, neither of them hold a candle to my bundle of comfort and joy!
(A) Bundle of comfort and joy? I totally have to hear this one!
(G) Yes. If just for proof that he really is a better example of perfection.
(I) Oh, trust me. He is. Though, to be fair, I didn't think that at first...
Last week, on the sidewalk on Maple Drive, in suburban Danville...
"Bye, girls!" Isabella shouted, waving goodbye to Gretchen and Adyson as they stood in front of her house.
(I) It all began last week, soon after you two headed home from the bus stop.
Isabella glanced across the street at Phineas and Ferb, who were walking on the grass leading up to their front door. They headed inside, but not before Phineas turned around to say one last thing.
"Talk to you later, Isabella!"
Isabella sighed, waving to Phineas before he closed the door.
(I) As per usual, I couldn't help but stare at Phineas' door after he had left, stuck for several minutes imagining our surefire future together.
"Oh, Phineas..."
Suddenly, a gust of wind blew through rather quickly, and Isabella instinctively reached up with one hand to keep her hair down while she reached down with the other to keep her skirt from being blown up. But after a few seconds, she realized that the wind actually had a source... a boy riding right past her on his bicycle.
But it was not just any boy. This boy had his black locks combed back, a pair of designer sunglasses covering his eyes, and a shiny leather jacket on. He squeezed the brakes on the handlebars and came to a stop. He glanced back at Isabella, and saw that she was staring at him. He reached up and lifted his sunglasses up just enough so that she could see his eyes...
And then he winked at her.
Isabella's jaw dropped faster than a mouse at an all-you-can-eat cheese buffet.
"Meap," she uttered.
The boy smiled, lowered his shades, and then pedaled away.
"Who... is that cool, mysterious stranger?"
The next day...
(I) I've known for years that my heart would always belong to that redhead, but for some reason, like, this guy, whom I had never before seen, was making my heart flutter in ways Phineas never did.
Surely, it was a mistake. Right?
Isabella walked out of the convenience store, holding a small bag of ice. She was heading back to her mom, who at that moment was refueling her car. But she stopped upon seeing a group of four boys sitting on the curb. And she recognized one of them instantly.
"It's him!"
She turned her head towards him, just in time to see him turning his head her direction. Isabella nervously gulped.
"What do I do?" she asked herself.
The boy, in the same get-up he had on yesterday, again lifted his sunglasses and gave Isabella a playful wink. Isabella giggled flirtatiously before she even knew she was doing it. She then watched as the boy then walked away, and the others that were with him followed suit.
"Meap... times two!"
Suddenly, feeling herself beginning to doubt whether she was crushing on the right boy, Isabella slapped herself across the face. That snapped her out of it.
"Whew! For a minute there, I was worried."
She then held up her bag of ice, which had, at least to her, inexplicably turned into a bag of water.
"Could it? Nah. Couldn't be!"
She went back inside to buy a new bag of ice.
The next next day...
(I) I... I really couldn't be falling for someone OTHER than Phineas, could I? Yeah, right! Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me! Fool me thrice...
Isabella was in Phineas' backyard, helping him finish off his latest creation.
"All done!" exclaimed Phineas, as he tossed the hammer he had in hand aside.
"So, you gonna tell me what it is?"
"Sure! I call it the 'Reverse Groundhog's Day Machine!' You see, toots, with the press of a button, you can reset the day back to 6 a.m. You know, if you royally screwed up your day and wanna take it back."
"But why 'Reverse' Groundhog's Day?"
"Because it doesn't work on Groundhog's Day, stupid! It would be silly if it did!"
"Oh, Phineas!" Isabella cooed. "You always know the right things to say!"
"Yeah, whatev."
Suddenly, the two of them heard a bike horn. They turned to the opening in Phineas' backyard fence, and Isabella saw 'him' once more. He repeated the same act he had done each of the past two days. But this time, that was not all he was going to do.
"Beautiful girl, you don't have to take that from him!"
Isabella first gasped, then sighed in adoration.
"How dare you talk to my girl like that?" shouted Phineas.
"Any guy who treats their girl like that doesn't deserve her!"
Isabella frowned, then turned to glare angrily at Phineas as she got to her feet.
"He's right! I don't have to sit here and take this!"
"What?"
"Phineas! I can't believe I'm saying this, but... GET LOST, LOSER!"
She stomped over to Phineas' machine and promptly gave it a swift kick. It fell apart instantly. She smirked with satisfaction as she made her way over to her savior, the boy on the bike, and squeezed in behind him on the end of his seat.
"Oh, mysterious yet drool-worthy stranger! Like, what's your name, so I know whom to thank when I tell all about your exploits on my troop's blog?"
The boy grinned as he answered her question.
"I am... The Chaz!"
"The Chaz?"
"THE... CHAZ!"
"Cool!"
The Chaz started pedaling. He first headed for the remains of Phineas' machine and circled it once, running over some of the smaller parts in the process, before making his way out of the yard. Isabella was smitten as she wrapped her arms around The Chaz's stomach and rested her chin on his left shoulder.
(I) And just like that, I dumped Phineas for The Chaz. And I couldn't have been any happier to.
(A) You were totally right, Isabella! He sounds totally like a bundle of comfort and joy!
(I) I know, right?
(G) Girls, we have to wrap this up! Triple date to get ready for, remember?
(I) Oh, yeah. Signing off for now, followers! We got some hotties to shower with kisses!
That night, inside Better Panda Restaurant...
Gretchen held the entrance door open, allowing Isabella and Adyson to enter before her. They were greeted by a waiter, but before he could ask them what they wanted, each of the girls pulled out a photo. Isabella, Gretchen, and Adyson were holding pictures of The Chaz, Larry, and Taylor, respectively, and were immediately pointed in the direction of the booth in which the boys were seated.
The boys in question were having a spirited conversation, but they all stopped upon seeing their new girlfriends approach them.
"Looks like our babes are here!" exclaimed Taylor.
"See their eyes?" pointed out Larry. "They're SO into us!"
The Chaz smiled cheesily as he lifted his sunglasses and winked at Isabella. "You know, you don't have to eye us to know we're the catch of the day! Isn't that right, sweetheart?"
"Yes, sweetheart," replied Isabella. "I'd love for you to call me that... if there was anything between us!"
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout, babe?"
Isabella put her hands on her hips. "Oh, no you didn't just do a 'Whatcha talkin' 'bout' bit!"
"We know you guys hacked into my computer and uploaded an entry onto our website!" accused Gretchen. "We know it was you boy scouts because your digital fingerprints were all over it!"
Larry laughed. "You have no proof!"
"Does 199-70-1-42 ring a bell?"
"That's my IP address! How did you..."
"I'm pretty sure there's no Super Hacker Badge in the Riverside Rats," Isabella stated aloud, "so I'm sure what you did is wrong!"
Taylor slid out of the booth and went over to Adyson. He pulled out the slip of paper with her number that she had given him and showed it to her.
"It was all a joke. You gave me your digits! Surely that means something."
"One, not my number, it's for the post office. Two, you were the one who ran into me on the slopes, not the other way around! And three, I do not say the word 'totally' a million times a day! WHAT KIND OF BRAINLESS SLUG DO YOU THINK I AM?"
Taylor attempted to come up with a sly reply. "Um, a totally cute one?"
"How cute I am doesn't change the fact that you are all chronic liars!"
"I'll say," Isabella piped in, as she confronted The Chaz. "Never, ever, spread mistruths about my- I mean, our, Phineas! Besides, I seem to remember a certain Chaz was the one who kicked Phineas' machine and not me."
"It's not Chaz, it's THE Chaz! And I did it. So?"
He then saw a flash of a camera, and noticed that Isabella had just snapped a photo of him.
"Did you get that?" Isabella asked, glancing over at Gretchen.
"This'll be great for the retraction!" she replied, adding a thumbs up as extra confirmation.
"I don't even know why you boys went through all this trouble," Adyson thought aloud. "If you guys were mature, you would've just asked us out!"
The three boys looked at each other oddly. They then got into a huddle to discuss something amongst themselves. Finally, they turned to face the girls again.
"So," they asked in unison, "would you girls like to go out?"
The girls did not need to dignify that with a response. The frowns on their faces said it all.
"C'mon, girls," Isabella said, motioning them to head for the exit. "We're done here."
The trio started walking, but Isabella's progress was halted when she heard The Chaz dive from out of the booth and grabbing her by the ankle as he hit the ground.
"Wait!"
Isabella turned around, annoyed. "What?"
"You... you're not gonna tell our Scout Leader, right? We could get kicked out of the troop!"
Isabella began to think about it. But before she knew it, Larry and Taylor had come over and they were begging for forgiveness.
"Okay!"
The boys gasped in surprise. "Really?"
"Yep! On one condition."
"Anything!" The Chaz exclaimed.
"Good to hear."
The next day, Isabella, Gretchen, and Adyson were at the lodge, adding something to the end of the entry.
(I) We apologize to all our of our readers who initially read this entry. As you can see, the addendum we have made shows that we were not responsible for its content.
(G) We have decided to keep it up, though, just to teach our so-called 'admirers' a lesson.
(A) To never mess with the Fireside Girls!
(I) Naturally. As for us not telling their Scout Leader what they've done, let's just say they're in our debt. And only we know when it's due.
(G/A) Heh heh heh!
With that, Isabella moved the mouse to the 'Save Changes' button and clicked on it.
End Entry
Author's Notes:
Hope you enjoyed this cautionary tale of how NOT to get a girl to be into you! The Fireside Girls are strong, independent young women!
I'd also like to give a special shout-out to my Twitter pals, who answered the call back in December when I asked for suggestions for names for "three boys who hit on Isabella, Gretchen, and Adyson." Got two responses, and they each contributed a name. So thanks to BlackCatula and Spongey444 for helping out!
Next week, the Fireside Girls try to help a special guest complete a community service requirement. Or try to, before... well...