"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
So here's a somewhat normal episode. Normal as in there's nothing outside-of-the-realm-of-the-show crazy in this one (I see you two Phinbella fans in the back with the pitchforks, put 'em away!). But not normal as in... we've got a special guest writing this entry!
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.
Candace looked down as she sat on the concrete step in front of the door of her house.
"Oh, what am I going to do?" she asked herself aloud, in a whiny tone.
She raised her head up and saw Isabella coming out of her house and heading for the sidewalk.
"THAT'S IT!"
She jumped up excitedly and ran over, stopping Isabella and grabbing a hold of her arms. Tightly.
"Hi, Candace! Whatcha' doin... to me? Seriously, could you loosen up a bit?"
"Isabella!" screamed Candace. "I forgot that everyone has to do X hours of community service before they can graduate, and I haven't done any! Can you help me, please please please please PLEASE?"
"Then you've got good timing! The Fireside Girls are in the midst of our 'The Huge Help' initiative! You can tag along with some of us, and you can take care of that community service requirement in no time!"
"Great!"
"On two conditions. One, you write a guest entry for our blog, and two, you... stop... squeezing..."
Candace realized that she was gripping Isabella's arms so tightly that they were beginning to become colorless. She quickly let go, allowing Isabella to drop to the grass.
"We'll get started," she said from down there, "just as soon as I get some feeling back in my arms."
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Entry #395 [FSD214] - Candace the Volunteer (04.30.12)
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Entry #395 - Guest-written by Candace '50 Patches in One Day' Flynn, the Greatest Fireflame Girl of All-Time!
(Editor's Note: This entry is being uploaded unedited because... well, you'll see. And Candace wouldn't LET me edit it...)
What up, peeps? This is your girl Candace, checkin' in for the D-to-the-A-to-the-N-to-the-I don't know what I'm typing this.
Anyway... darn the school system guy who thought that you couldn't graduate from high school unless you did community service. Who does he think he is? Us teenagers have better things to do with our summer! Like go to the beach, hang out with friends, spend extra time hanging out with Jeremy - call me, baby - and bust my brothers. Who has time to service the community? Not this teenager!
And yet, Mom tells me 'it builds character.'
Whatever.
While I petition the school board to get this community service thingy abolished, I might as well do some anyway. I could nag them until my graduation day to change it, but who knows. It might be fun. As Dad tells me.
It wasn't.
An hour later, Candace and Isabella arrived at Danville Elementary. A half dozen other kids were there, standing near a wall on the front face of the school. Some were just beginning to open up paint cans, while two others were sticking painters' tape onto the wall, in a predetermined pattern.
"We're painting a mural."
"A mural?"
Isabella pointed to another kid, a girl, who held up a sketch of the mural they were planning to paint.
"A mural."
The girl handed the piece of paper to Candace, who made an observation about it aloud.
"Is this an orange-furred rat with a yellow clown nose who happens to be holding a tazer in one paw and is wearing a boxing glove on the other?"
"And now you know why, in my failed class presidential campaign, one of my promises was to change our school mascot to Mickey Mouse."
Ten minutes later...
Everyone was quietly painting away in their designated spot on the wall, hoping that by working simultaneously, they could get the mural done faster. The outline was already done, and they were already starting to paint in some of the details.
Candace, though, believed they were not going fast enough.
"This is taking too long!" she growled. "Can't we speed this up?"
Candace had noticed when she arrived that someone had brought a two-handed paint sprayer that was the size of a leaf blower. And it irked her that they were not using it. She planned to rectify that.
"Um, Candace?" Isabella questioned the redhead's actions when she saw what she was going to do. "We're only using that for touch-ups at the end."
Candace ignored her as she picked it up and started looking for the on switch.
"Besides," Isabella added, "you really shouldn't use that if you don't know what you're..."
Candace left hand found the trigger, and she pulled it. Yellow paint came flying out, and it hit not only Isabella, but part of the in-progress mural behind her. Candace quickly let go, and the flow of paint stopped.
"...doing."
Isabella frowned.
"Can you believe it, Mom?"
Candace was sitting in the passenger seat of her mom's car, being driven away from Danville Elementary.
"She told me to get lost! Her, of all people! I swear, she's just jealous of my mad speed-painting skills!"
(Ed. Note: For the record, all I did was give her a list of projects some of the other girls were doing, where her unique talents could be put to better use! I wasn't mean about it, honest!)
"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher said in response. "Would she have given you that list if she did? She wants you to succeed, honey!"
Candace looked at the piece of paper in her hand.
"I suppose."
"That's the spirit! Now, where to?"
Candace glanced down at the list and saw the first location on it was the Danville Food Bank.
Holly was gathering non-perishable food items off of the shelves at the food bank, arranging them carefully into cardboard boxes for distribution to the poor later that day. Suddenly, she came across an open box of crackers with the Giant Floating Baby Head on it that had been left on the floor, with crumbs all around. She continued over to the next aisle over and was shocked, then annoyed when she saw Candace sitting on the floor, having made a mini-sandwich from crackers, pre-sliced canned meat, and jarred guacamole, the latter of which was smeared all over her lips.
"What? I missed lunch!"
Milly and Katie were waving goodbye to a couple with a newly-born child as they pulled away in their car from the loading/unloading zone at the hospital. They grabbed the wheelchair they had pushed the mother out on, and started heading in just in time to see Candace emerging, pushing out an elderly man on a wheelchair. Candace stopped at the curb, waiting for the man's son to pick him up. She pulled out her cell phone from her apron and saw that she had a text message from Jeremy waiting for her.
She turned around to check it in privacy, accidentally bumping the chair with her butt, at which point it rolled onto the driveway pavement. It took her a few seconds to realize what had happened, and that she had forgotten to put on the wheel brakes. She screamed, then ran after the runaway chair.
Seconds later, a crash could be heard. Milly and Katie, who had stopped a few feet short of the sliding doors while heading back in, seemed stunned as one of Candace's wheelchair's big wheels rolled up to the pair, then stopped and fell to the ground, at their feet.
Candace peeked into the open barn. She saw a cow eating some hay. She finally spotted whom she was looking for Ginger, and freaked out when she came out from behind the cow, wearing gloves and holding a bucket. Candace took a few steps back, slowly, before turning tail and running, not wanting to do whatever Ginger was doing.
Ginger, confused, shrugged her shoulders, then sat down on a stool next to the cow, placed the bucket on the ground underneath it, and finally, grabbing the udders to begin milking it.
A week after Candace had initially asked Isabella for help, the two girls were meeting at the front door of the former's house.
"Sorry, Candace," Isabella apologized, "but you've tried everything on our lists. There's no other service jobs we can offer."
"Pfft. You're a lot of help!"
Candace closed the door in Isabella's face, then stomped back to the living room.
"Some help the Flickeryfire Girls were! NOW how am I supposed to complete my community service requirement?"
She trudged over to the couch to sit down, when she noticed that someone had left part of the newspaper there. And it was open to the classifieds. Not really expecting to find anything, she picked it up and started to scan the ads as she sat down.
A few seconds later, she lowered the paper back down. She had a grin of delight on her face.
If you could see my face, you'd know that I had found my answer!
The following Saturday, at Carbon-Boron Park...
"I told you that you should've taken my offer to volunteer at the ballpark first."
"I guess I should listen to you more often, Stacy!"
Candace and Stacy were under the stands at the local minor league ballpark. They were happy to be there... that is, until they met the seven-foot tall giant that was in charge of all of the volunteer staff there.
"You girls are 30 minutes late! That's strike one for both of ya!"
"Sorry, Mr. Banister," Stacy quickly apologized, "but I had to pick up my friend Candace here. It's her first day, and she accidentally overslept..."
"Stacy!" Candace snapped, in a 'why are you telling him that' tone.
"You know da rules. Three strikes and you're out! Got it?"
Candace scratched her head, confused. "Is that a baseball thing, 'cause I really don't follow..."
He led them over to the 'bank,' which was responsible for doling out change at the beginning of the day and collecting all of the sales money from concessions workers and volunteers at the end. The guy there handed each of the girls $100 in fives.
"Wait, isn't this a volunteer gig?" asked Candace.
Stacy whispered to her. "We're hawking, remember? That's change money."
Their boss then took them to the storage closet the next door over. There, they each received a light brown apron with two pockets in the front to hold their money. He then pointed to the back, where there were stacks and stacks of programs to be handed out.
"You're starting with programs, five a pop, until the game starts. Each plastic-wrapped stack has 15. If you run out, you come back here, but I don't give you another one without getting the sales money. Got it?"
Candace nodded, seemingly understanding.
A few minutes later, Candace and Stacy, each carrying one stack, found a place to hawk near one of the entrance gates. Two other volunteers were already there, but both of those girls were down to their last program and were about to run off to get more. Stacy quickly squatted down on the ground, in the midst of the approaching group of fans, ripped off the plastic, then went to work. She took a program in each hand and held it up, while the rest remained stacked at her feet.
"Programs!" she shouted. "Programs, five bucks! You won't know a Larkin from a Ruth without a program!"
Candace watched as Stacy immediately got a taker. The guy handed her a $10 bill and she gave him a program and his change in return.
"That's it? That's easy!"
Candace did exactly what her friend did. Sort of.
"Programs! Get your programs! Five big ones! You can't tell that Orton from a Newton without it!"
Stacy giggled upon hearing Candace. For once, her friend was the one that sounded clueless.
I hear you laughing! Knowing the names of the players on the local minor league team IS NOT IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION!
Candace saw someone with a $5 bill out heading her way, and she thought she was gonna have her first sale. But the guy walked right past her. It turned out he had it out in preparation for buying something other than a program.
But that did not deter Candace, who chased after him.
"Hey, you! Guy! Wanna buy a program? They're five bucks!"
He waved his hand at her and kept walking. But...
"Hey, don't ignore me!"
She kept chasing him.
"This is real quality stuff you're missing out on!"
She flipped the book she had open in hand and randomly read a stat line aloud.
"What about this Livingston fella? He's got an era of 6.44! Good, right?"
He started walking faster. Candace decided to stop her pursuit.
"C'mon, you're my first sale! I'll give it to you for free, I won't tell!"
She reared her arm back and threw it the book towards the back of the guy's head. But it never got there, as someone stepped in the way of it, and it hit him, back cover first, in the side of the face.
That someone... was Candace's boss. And he was livid.
"Hee hee hee hee," she laughed nervously. "Um, how much of that did you hear? Sir?"
"The game doesn't start for another 10 minutes and I'm already on strike two!" groaned Candace.
Candace had been given something new to hawk. Water bottles. And she was carrying them in a tray. A tray of two dozen bottles. And the weight of it was already a bother to her, as she could feel the straps holding up the tray that went around the back of her neck dig into her skin.
In addition, she was now out in the hot midday sun, climbing up and down the stairs of the park in-between the rows of seats.
"And who can do this all day, in the midst of summer? This is crazy!"
Candace then suddenly got a form of relief, when she felt someone put a baseball cap on her hand. That someone was...
"MOM!"
"Hi, Candace!"
Her mom had come to see how her first day was going. As well as to see the game... although that was more likely the reason why Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella were with her.
"I never knew you were into baseball!" exclaimed Phineas.
"I'm not," Candace replied, in a deadpanning tone.
"Glad to see you found a new volunteer gig," Isabella told her.
Candace's mom slid a small tube of sunscreen into Candace's open apron pocket.
"Stay safe! C'mon, kids!"
The quartet left to find their seats. Candace took her mother's advice to heart, readjusting the cap on her head and making a mental note to put some sunscreen on her face. And then, it hit her...
"Wait a minute... why are the boys here? There can only be one... but I can't! I don't know how many other volunteer gigs are left in the city after this! This is my last chance. I HAVE to keep this job!"
Soon after, the game finally started. Every few minutes or so I'd check on the boys. You know, just to be sure. I was still doing my job, of course. But every single time, they were in their seats, just watching the game! I was beginning to believe that they actually weren't going to ruin my day! Those two, entranced by a sport in which guys hit balls with bats? Who would've thunk it? If I had known that, I would've gotten them out of my hair last summer! I can finally live a day without having to worry about Phineas and Ferb! WOOHOO!
With an empty tray in her possession, Candace started to dance, doing cartwheels back and forth on the open-air concourse, drawing stares from people watching the game around her.
(Ed. Note: Before you ask, this is how Candace normally is. Yep. I don't get her either.)
A couple hours later, a glance at the hand-operated scoreboard showed that the home team was trailing 5-3 in the bottom of the ninth inning with one out, a runner on first, and the potential-tying run at bat. Phineas, Ferb, their mom, and Isabella were keeping their eyes glued to the action, hoping for a rally - as designated by the fact that all three kids had turned their caps around so that the bill was facing backwards.
As for Candace, she was smiling in relief as she looked down from the concourse and at them, now tray-less but still wearing her apron. Suddenly, Stacy walked up next to her, with foil-wrapped hot dogs in hand. She still had her tray on, but there were only two bottles left on it. She began to unwrap one.
"Water me!" a middle-aged man shouted from a few rows below. "Two!"
Candace took Stacy's last two bottles down to him, and returned with $6, which she put in her friend's apron.
"And that makes four trays on the day," proclaimed Stacy.
"Me too!" exclaimed Candace. "Boy, we sold a lot today."
Suddenly, the crowd cheered as the batter got a base hit. He stopped on second, with the runner already on pausing at third. The stadium was in a frenzy as the potential game-winning run stepped up to the plate. The batter was introduced over the loudspeaker.
"Now pinch-hitting, in his first-ever at bat for the Danville Robins, number 25, Darren Dagger!"
The crowd cheered loudly. Candace did not seem to care, while Stacy seemed to recall something as she swallowed the last of her first dog.
"Say, isn't he the guy who just finished coming off a 40-game suspension for failing some drug test?"
"WHAT? He failed a drug test?"
"Well, yeah. But, I guess his 40 days is up already. I swear, it feels like they announced that guy's suspension yesterday..."
"BOO!" Candace started yelling. "BOOOOO!"
"Candace, what are you doing?"
"Didn't you learn anything in school? Drugs are bad! This guy should be banned."
"He apologized. He went to a substance-abuse program. He voluntarily has a social services worker shadowing him so that he stays straight! He knows he made a mistake, and he wants our forgiveness!"
"Well, I, for one, am not giving him it."
She then began yelling again, even though by this point Dagger had already taken his first pitch, for a called strike.
"WE DON'T WANT YOUR KIND AROUND HERE! GO HOME, LOSER! BOO!"
Hearing Candace's inciting cries, those sitting near her began to jeer as well.
"YOU RUINED THE GAME!"
"HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE!"
"MY WIFE MOVED AWAY BECAUSE SHE LOVED YOU!"
The man whom Candace had sold Stacy's last two bottles to got up. Although they were still half-full, he chucked them, one at a time, down onto the field. Once the first hit the field, the umpire who had spotted it first raised his arms, calling for play to halt. Then the second bottle landed, near the first. Neither had hit anyone.
But, spurred on by the actions of one of their own, other fans started throwing stuff down on to the field in protest as well. Hard pretzels, foam fingers, baseball gloves, plastic soda cups... you name it, somebody threw it. Immediately, the umpires and both managers called the players off the field and into the safety of the dugouts. Up in the stands, the situation was quickly deteriorating, and those who did not want to get involved, such as Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher and the kids, fled to safety.
Up on the concourse, Candace started to feel responsible for what was going on.
"Crud. Stacy, we have to get out of here! If Mr. Banister finds out I was responsible, I'm a goner for sure!"
She reached out to grab Stacy's hand, but for some reason, it felt bigger and manlier than usual.
I'll give you three guesses who's standing next to me...
Candace gulped as she turned to see Mr. Banister, and not Stacy, standing next to her. And he looked like he was about to pop a vein.
Because of the incident, the game was called, and the home team was forced to forfeit the game. But the outcome did not matter to Candace as much as why it came about, as she, Stacy, and numerous other field workers and volunteers had been drafted to clean up the aftermath - both on the field and in the seats.
"I guess I learned not to incite a crowd with my words. On accident."
Stacy smirked. "You're lucky you got off the hook."
"Only 'cause I didn't actually tell that guy to throw his bottle. Not that it makes me feel any better."
The two girls heard someone whistle at them. They turned towards the home team's dugout and looked up at the railing, where Isabella was waving at them to come over. They obliged.
"I heard what happened. You gotta be more careful, Candace!"
"I know, I know."
"You know what they say, though. The first day is ALWAYS the toughest. It should get easier from here on out."
"That's a relief. At least we got in some good time today. Five hours closer to complete my community service requirement! I might be able to do this after all!"
And despite everything that's happened the past week or so, that's all that really matters, right? Helping the community... and getting one step closer to graduating. That's all you Campfire Girls' readers need to know.
(Ed. Note: Fireside Girls. She still doesn't get it.)
"Five hours?" Stacy thought aloud. "That's 55 hours to go! Looks like somebody's working every home game for the rest of the summer!"
To that, Candace grumbled her only possible response.
"I'd better start writing that petition."
With that, Candace left.
End Entry
Author's Notes:
So Candace writing an entry is another one of those 'experimental' ideas for season two, so like the others, I'll ask... do you want to see more? As usual, let me know in the reviews!
Next week is part one of the two-part season finale! See ya then!