"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
I know people often ask to see more shipping episodes. Well, here you go!
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.
The school bell rang at Danville Elementary, signaling the start of class.
"Okay, settle down!" said Mr. Worth, a black-haired man in his late 30s who taught a certain class of sixth-graders. "As per usual, we will start the day with math."
Several audible groans could be heard coming from his students. Two students in the row closest to the window, in the first and third seats, respectively, were ecstatic to start every school day with their favorite subject. One of them was Baljeet...
"I love math!" he shouted exuberantly.
His celebration would have lasted longer, but it was stopped when he felt the person behind him reach into the back of his pants and give his underwear a good tug.
"AHHHHHHH!"
He turned around to face his tormentor... Buford.
"I thought we agreed? Not in class!"
"You're not the boss of me!"
As Baljeet and Buford had a small discussion about it, a few rows away sat Ginger, who was watching her crush instead of what Mr. Worth was writing on the blackboard.
Entry #406 - Written by Ginger Hirano
If there's one thing I don't like about school, it's assigned seats. Teachers believe that it's easier to learn their students' names if they sit in alphabetical order by last name. Because of that, me and a certain cute boy I find attractive are always on opposite sides of the classroom!
Ginger was sitting in the second row closest to the door, in the third seat. Sitting in front of her was Isabella, who already had a dreamy smile on her face. That was because sitting in front of her was Phineas, who was actually paying attention to the math lesson and was taking notes.
Isabella's so lucky that she's sitting right behind Phineas! It seems that every year there's one or two people in the alphabet between the two of them. But this year, those guys ended up in the other classes.
"Isabella!" called out Mr. Worth.
"Huh?" Isabella snapped out of her dream at the sound of her name.
"If you have time to daydream, maybe you have time to fill in the blank!"
He pointed at a problem he had written on the board. It was 296 + _ + 106 = 743. Isabella got up out of her seat, a little embarrassed, to fill in the missing number.
Huh. You think I'd be more likely to get in trouble since my crush's three rows away...
She stole another glance over at Baljeet, who was now rubbing his backside in anguish.
After school...
Ginger spied on Buford and Baljeet from afar, hiding around the corner and behind a row of lockers. The two of them, who were also locker neighbors, were getting the books they needed to take home. But while Baljeet was trying to put his in his backpack, Buford was trying to whack Baljeet with his.
"Stop!" Baljeet cried.
But Buford continued, intent on hitting Baljeet even though he was going slowly enough for the Indian boy to dodge every attempt... which he did.
"Since it's so hard spending time with Baljeet in school," she thought to herself, "I have to find time to do so outside of it. To win Baljeet's heart, there's one big obstacle that stands in my way!"
She focused on her adversary, Buford.
"Commence 'Operation: Bye Bye Buford!'"
"Um," Isabella wondered, coming up behind Ginger, "who are you talking to?"
"Uh, it's called a monologue."
"Well, monologue some other time." Isabella grabbed Ginger by the arm and pulled her towards the exit. "We've got a Fireside Girls' meeting."
"Awwww..."
-
Entry #406 [FSD304] - Bye Bye Buford (12.03.12)
-
An hour later, inside the troop's secret forest clubhouse...
"Now that we've established that not all people who hold up cardboard signs that offer 'Free Hugs' have bad intentions," Isabella stated, "I hereby call this meeting adjourned!"
Isabella banged her gavel down on the podium to confirm her intention. The girls began to disperse, with Holly, Milly, and Katie immediately heading out. Ginger wanted to leave as well, but Gretchen stopped her.
"Before you go, Ginger, I just want to remind you that I'm still waiting for that entry about how you got your Golden Year Assistants Patch..."
"Oh, yeah, that! I'll get you that by the end of the week..."
Spoiler alert, I still haven't done it. I'm so getting in trouble for that.
"...but I'm kinda working on another entry."
Gretchen perked up. "Ooh! On what?"
"Baljeet!" Ginger replied, in a high-pitched squeal.
Isabella decided to interject.
"No offense, Ginger, but not counting your contribution to the huge Jamboree entry, your last five entries have been about Baljeet!"
"Uh, no offense, Isabella, but if you're allowed to gab on and on about your boyfriend every week..."
Isabella blushed a bright red.
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND... yet. But I see your point. I'll let it slide this time..."
Ginger unexpectedly gave Isabella a hug.
"Thank you, THANK YOU! 'Operation: Bye Bye Buford!' is back in full swing!"
With that, Ginger sprinted out of the clubhouse.
"You know," Isabella thought out loud, "I should also talk to Ginger about having to make all of her entries 'operations'..."
"Let it go, Chief."
Baljeet and Buford were walking side-by-side downtown, heading for the convenience store. Ginger was following them from a distance, hiding behind lamp posts, benches, and trash cans every time one of them looked back in her direction. Eventually, they reached their destination. Ginger stood near the door, but held up on going in, at least until the two boys were far enough inside to not see her enter. In the meantime, she reached into her backpack to pull out a book titled 'Breaking Up a Bromance.' She scanned the first few pages as ideas started coming to her.
Step One: Before you attempt to break up two people, one of which you hope to have a future with someday, you must first do your research! Find things that they disagree on, so that you can exploit it for your own personal gain!
Ginger went inside. It did not take her long to find the boys, who were browsing the school supply shelves.
"I cannot believe you did not see it fit to buy pencils beforehand! Now all they have left is Number Four pencils!"
"Eh... I usually get what I need from nerds. Speaking of which... YOINK!"
He snatched the pencil Baljeet had behind his left earlobe.
"HEY! You cannot take Shirley!"
"Shirley? You name these things?"
"I have a life outside of you!"
Ginger, observing from around the corner, took out a notepad and a pen, and wrote on it.
The two boys made three other stops that afternoon, and Ginger followed them all the way. They went to the candy store...
"If you buy that much, Buford, you will rot your teeth in no time."
Baljeet was referring to the large plastic bag of gumballs Buford was holding.
"They can be replaced. Perhaps you'd like to make an offering?"
As Baljeet motioned to pass on it, Ginger was seen taking note of it.
Stop number three was the bookstore, where Baljeet was buying 'Annette Drake and the Grim Meadows.'
"Finally! I will get to see if Annette chooses Michael or Montgomery."
"Neither. One dies and one gets with Ryan."
Baljeet glared at Buford.
"What? It's not like I told you that Annette ends up dropping out a week before graduation!"
Baljeet frowned as he put the book back on the shelf.
"I guess I will just wait for the eventual movie... you cannot spoil that yet since it does not come out until December!"
Again, Ginger was seen taking notes.
Lastly, the boys stopped by a '50s-style malt shop, where the two of them shared a vanilla milkshake.
"I had enough money for two shakes," Baljeet said.
"Yeah," Buford said in return, "but I'm watchin' my weight."
Three tables over, Ginger was once more making a note as she watched them and took a sip from her cherry milkshake, one half the size of the boys. But this time, though, she had someone with her... her older sister, Stacy.
"When I said we should spend more time together," she grumbled, "this wasn't what I meant."
"Shhh!" Ginger hushed her. "I'm trying to read their lips!"
Stacy rolled her eyes, and then whipped out her cell phone, intending to text to pass the time.
The next morning, the entire troop walked up the stairs at school together. Isabella and Gretchen were chatting with each other, as were Adyson and Holly, as well as Milly and Katie. Ginger was staying silent, running her plan through her head. As soon as Milly and Katie dropped from the group to go to their lockers, Ginger spotted Baljeet and Buford up ahead, opening theirs.
Step Two: Use what you've learned to drive a wedge between your competition and your crush. Hold nothing back!
Ginger peeled off from the group without their knowledge, allowing her to walk over to the boys.
"...so you're tellin' me I have a choice?" questioned Buford.
"Yes," replied Baljeet, "though they have stringent entrance requirements..."
"Hi, Baljeet!" greeted Ginger cheerfully. She then looked at Buford to greet him, in a more sour tone. "Hi, chopped liver."
"Ooh, my favorite kind of liver!"
Ginger whipped out an unopened ten-pack of number two pencils. Baljeet's face brightened up.
"Ginger! Are... are those for..."
Before he could finish, Ginger handed the pack to Buford.
"There. You can't harass Baljeet for pencils anymore. You can have these. Oh, and if you ever need any more, I'm friends with the boy in charge of the school store this year. He's giving me a discount."
Buford seemed confused, but he took the pencils anyway.
"Uh, thanks?"
Baljeet had a similar reaction, but for a different reason. "Ginger, what are you doing?"
"Nothing!" Ginger exclaimed. "Just trying to help some friends out!"
Ginger then reached into her backpack and pulled out, in order, a tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush, a book entitled 'The Starvation Trials,' and a gift card for the malt shop. She then gave them all to Buford, who could only come to one conclusion.
"If you think this absolves you for getting me something for Christmas, then think again!"
"It's nothing like that," Ginger explained. "Why should you spend so much time with Baljeet when I can give you everything you need?"
The boys looked at each other, unsure of how to react. Buford leaned over to Baljeet and whispered something to him.
"I think it's that time when she has that thing."
"Are you sure?"
"Trust me. I know these things."
Buford threw the 'gifts' in his locker, closed it, and then headed off to class. Baljeet looked oddly at Ginger before doing the same.
"You're welcome!" Ginger shouted after Baljeet.
Once they were out of earshot, Ginger began to think...
"That looked like it worked, but there's still more to do for this mission to be a success..."
Step Three: A good way to send a relationship on the road to ruin is to plant a seed of mistrust.
While in class, Ginger had scribbled out a note. It read 'Meet me at the jungle gym after school. I have a surprise that'll knock you out.' Ginger folded up the note twice, and then passed it to another student. It eventually reached its destination... Buford. Ginger smiled, knowing that things were going along as planned.
...or were they?
"So, someone said they wanted to get knocked out?" questioned Buford, who had on pair of boxing gloves.
"N-n-not exactly," said Ginger.
Ginger handed Buford a photo that had clearly been doctored. It was originally a photo of Buford giving Baljeet a wedgie. But it had been changed so that Irving's head had been digitally pasted over Buford's.
"Unbelievable."
Buford started to walk away.
"Wait!" Ginger cried out. "Don't you... wanna do something about Irving?"
"Why? Me beating him up won't cure his desperation of wanting to be accepted."
Buford left.
"That was not the reaction I was expecting. Well, I suppose it is a bit too late to be planting seeds. Time for extreme measures!"
There's more to the plan, but some of you might be impatient. Therefore... ahem...
Final Step: If all else fails, step in and break the relationship with your own two hands!
Baljeet and Buford were walking towards City Hall. One block to the east of it stood Ginger, who was in disguise. She had on a pair of glasses with thick lenses and was wearing a plain teal-colored sweater and two-sizes-too-big pants that were being held up by brown-colored suspenders. She also had applied a temporary tattoo on her right cheek, which was one of a set of real-looking freckles.
"This is perfect!" Ginger said aloud. "All Buford has to do is take one look at me and he'll dump Baljeet in a heartbeat! He'll start picking on me, leaving me free to spend as much time to spend with Baljeet as I want. You know, after Buford gives me wedgies and wet willies and takes my lunch money every day..."
Ginger stopped for a minute to contemplate what she had just said.
"On second thought, maybe I should've thought this through more..."
But it was too late, as the boys were crossing the street at that very moment. Ginger leaned towards a nearby pole to prop herself up with, but her hand just slipped off, causing her to go down as well.
"I meant to do that," she told herself.
As she got to her feet, the boys had stopped in front of her.
"Hello!" greeted Baljeet, in a friendly tone. "I do not believe that we have had the pleasure of meeting before."
"What you talkin' 'bout?" grumbled Buford. "That's Ginger!"
Baljeet took a second look at her, and did a double take.
"AAH! What happened to you?"
"Do you like?" Ginger said, posing for her crush. "I have embraced my inner geekiness!"
"I did not know you had any geekiness to begin with. That is, except when it comes to math. Or Fireside Girls."
Buford, though, looked unimpressed. "I don't believe ya."
Ginger coughed, then recited a formula she committed to memory in case she needed to convince Buford that she was a bigger nerd than Baljeet.
"E equals mc^2, where E is energy, m is the mass of the object in question, and c is the speed of light!"
Buford turned to Baljeet to see if what Ginger was saying was true.
"That is true!"
"I should also add that the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, approximately!"
Buford gasped. "She used the non-metric value! Oh, she's got you out-geeked!"
But Baljeet just rolled his eyes. "I do not have time for this. I made a promise that I must fulfill!"
With that, Baljeet walked past Ginger and continued on his way to City Hall. Buford tried to follow, but Ginger stepped into his path to block him.
"Alright, what's the big deal?"
"You said that I'm geekier than Baljeet, right? So that means you have to pick on me!"
"Nah. I don't do girls. Bully Code and all."
"Not even if I do this?"
She lifted her right foot up and slammed it down hard on Buford's left one. She looked up, expecting Buford to be screaming in pain and anger. But Buford did not seem to be phased at all.
"Was I supposed to be feeling something?"
Ginger threw her hands up in frustration.
"UGH! I give up..."
She threw off her glasses and trotted over to a nearby bench, which she sat down on and began to sulk. Buford thought ahead to Baljeet, who was crossing the last street before City Hall, but instead of catching up with him, he instead decided to take a seat next to Ginger to talk with her.
"Not that it's any of my business, but perhaps you'd tell me what this is about?"
Ginger wiped a tear from her eye with the back of her hand, and then answered.
"I... I wanna hang out with Baljeet. And by hang out, I mean just the two of us. Instead of me, him, and you, which is three people. And three's a crowd."
Buford laughed. "Is that all?"
Ginger frowned. "That's not funny!"
"It is! For a minute there, I thought you were trying to spend more time with me!"
"What, you, EEW, no way!"
"Good! 'Cause I'd deny it if that's what you wanted! I've got a rep to protect, after all."
"So, you're okay with me wanting to be with Baljeet? Just the two of us?"
"I'm indifferent about it."
Buford reached into his pocket and pulled out an index card with a bunch of times on it.
"These are the times Baljeet and I agree to be apart. Y'know, besides bedtime and all that, obviously."
"You're telling me about this? Thanks, Buford!"
Ginger glanced at the list of times and saw that one of the blocks was about to start in a few minutes.
"Ooh, one of them's about to start now!"
"Hold on there," Buford said as Ginger jumped up from the bench. "You can't be alone with him now."
"But you said these times..."
"...are when Baljeet and I agree NOT to be together. It doesn't mean someone else can't. Besides, he's off to do something boring for Student Council."
Ginger thought for a second before recalling something someone had told her a few days ago.
"Right. Adyson has that campaign promise she's taking care of. She must have Baljeet helping her."
"So, you want to interfere?"
Ginger shrugged her shoulders.
"Nah. It's business. Besides, Adyson doesn't have any feelings for Baljeet. I'm sure of it!"
Buford got up, and the two of them started walking away from the City Hall, back towards the suburbs.
Okay, so I didn't exactly break up Buford and Baljeet, but at least I know when the two of them are apart. And I consider that a victory! I'm now one step closer to professing my love for Baljeet.
But now I have another problem. When's the perfect time to spend with him? And once we're together, what I do say to him?
I guess I can save that for my next entry. Ginger is out, peace!
Buford had one last question for Ginger before he could close the book on these last few days...
"So, just to be clear..."
Anticipating the question, Ginger had a simple response.
"EEW, EEW, AND DOUBLE EEW!"
"Just testing..."
End Entry
Author's Notes:
So, those of you who recall Ginger's entry from last season probably recognized that this entry used the same format as that one did. I just find it interesting that Ginger's giving romantic advice even though she hasn't successfully won her crush over yet. But, hey, sometimes the best way to see if the advice works is to test it yourself!
Also, for some reason Ginger has had the fourth episode production-wise in every season of this series so far. Unintended coincidence, I swear!
Next week is the two-part holiday special! It also happens to be Isabella's dedicated solo entry for the season. So you can probably guess what the special is about, right? See you in seven days!