I apologize for the wait. I wrote three long chapters back to back and my mind was mush, so I took a break. I wrote 11 pages of this chapter last night and I finished it up today. I'm in a bad mood right now. My dad lost his job and I have to get my car inspected soon so I can get my tags by the end of January not to mention I have to pay this crazy phone bill. *sigh* It always seems like I have bad luck in my life. I'm just glad I have you guys to help me through this bullshit and give me support on my stories because the gods know I something uplifting right now.
Anyways, to the chapter. There is a lot going on. This is a long chappie again. It goes over 9,000 words. Next chappie will be in the works soon because I am so in the zone to write. It helps when I want to pretend I don't exist. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy and I apologize for the lack of enthusiasm and such. I was really excited about this chappie, but...*sigh*
Endlessly:
I could love you endlessly, I could fall in love with you and we could keep a miracle alive. Every time I look in your eyes, I get lost inside of your soul. What are you doing to me? Don't you know that I hate you? Don't you want my blood on your hands? Don't you want me to scream? Don't you realize that it's too late to bring me back life? I'm already further than death. I'm drowning in my desire for you and my need to kill you. I want my hands covered in your blood, I want your skin underneath my fingertips I want you to reach out and touch me, I want you to burn me alive with your beautiful eyes. I want to hear your voice when I go to bed at night, I want to lie next to you and watch the world go by. I want to end you for good, I want to make you suffer, I want to see the look in your eyes when you look up at me when I hold the knife above your heart. I want you to know that any claims of hope you had of us is nothing but fantasy we'll never have. I want you to be the one that kills me, I want my blood on your hands.. I want you to end me I want to feel your passion. I want to feel your soul wrapping around mine. I want to know if you feel this too. I want to know if I can kill you now. I want to feel you underneath me I want to feel something besides this loneliness I feel inside. I want to bring the demon out of you.
I want to know if it hurts when I cut you up inside. I want to know if you really hate me or if I really hate you. I want to make me scream, I want to feel the power within me grow. I want you to knock me out, I want you to defeat me. I want something so much more from you than I could ever get. I want you to bleed, I want you to scream. I need you to know you're driving me crazy. I need you to know my soul burns passionately for you every time you give me that look I think I'm going to lose my mind. I want you dead, I want your soul to scream, to earn itself to me. I need you to know this isn't a game anymore. And what would you think if I told you that loved you this whole time? What would you say if I told you I never wanted to hate you, that I never loved you at all? What if I was playing with your mind?
What if I was lying right now? What if I told it was too personal to tell you how I felt about you? What if I told you that everything you've done to me was nothing more than just a wicked fantasies you dreamt of? What if I can't take it back? What if I don't want to? What if everything I said wasn't a lie? What if I tried to bring you back? What if I really did love you? Would you love me back, even though you think of me as a fool? Am I fool to fall in love with you? What if I told you that loving you is so impossible, it's not reality. I couldn't take it anymore. You burn me alive, I'd give myself to you if I could.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. If I did, then Yugioh would have ended with Bakura and Yami admitting their undying love for one another and Seto would have pulled Joey into a kiss to shut him up because Puppy and Darkshipping rock!
Warnings: My usual, y'all know what that means, but for those of you who happen to be new to my awesomeness, it means there's lemony goodness!
Summary:
Moments away from destroying Zorc, Yami hesitates, asking Horakhty if she can set Bakura free. She agrees, telling Yami that in order for him to pass into the afterlife, he must break his enemy of the darkness, and he only as a year to do so.
Chapter Twenty: Remedy
[Serenity's POV]:
"I said 'no' Serenity, and that's final!" Mom says sternly.
We're sitting at the kitchen table eating some spaghetti. I couldn't sleep last night after talking on the phone. I've been so worried about Joey. I had to leave when all the chaos with him and Seto and Yami and Bakura was going on. I hate that I can't live with Joey. I understand why, but still it upsets me. Joey needs me to get through this, he needs me to protect him from Dad.
I'm just thankful my brother found true friends that have his back, regardless that he hasn't told anyone what's been happening. I hate that I can't help him. It makes me feel like a bad sister.
I hadn't talked to him in over eight years after Mom and Dad got a divorce and I was forced to live with her in America. My vision has always been bad ever since I was born and over the years it was getting worse. I wanted to see my brother again and I'd do anything to do so. Mom kept a sharp eye on my phone and monitored my calls. A friend of mine, Janice, helped me make a video tape of myself. She sent Joey the tape.
Joey sent me a tape back telling me that he was going to win a tournament so I could get my sight back. He sent me another one saying that although he didn't win the tournament, he had the money to pay for my operation. I told Mom about it. At first, she didn't believe me, but when I played the tape he sent she was furious.
She doesn't hate Joey. I know she doesn't. I know she loves him, but she believes he's like Dad too much. She believes that if she took him with us that he would corrupt me. She has no clue how Joey is.
"It's not fair, Mom!" I shout slamming my glass on the table. "Joey needs me!"
"He had plenty of time to talk to you about whatever he needed to when you visited during the summer, Serenity." Mom says twirling her spaghetti with her fork. "I have told you time and time again that you are to stay here during the school year."
"I'm on break!" I exclaim. "Joey needs my help! Why can't I help my brother?! Why do you treat him so bad?!"
"I don't treat him badly, Serenity!" Mom yells. "Have I ever once abused him?"
"Yes." I hiss. A deadly silence fills the air making the room eerie cold. "It may not have been like Dad, but you still abused him! You left him behind-"
"I already told you why I did that, Serenity! I had no choice!" she shouts.
"Yes you did!" I cry. "You didn't have to take me! You think that Joey is like Dad, but he's not! Joey has never drank before because he fears being like him! Sure, they have a lot in common, but who doesn't have something in common with their parents? Joey feels like you hate him! It's not fair the way you treat him!"
Mom sighs. "Serenity, I did what I thought was best. I needed to make sure you were safe. Being nearly blind, you were vulnerable. Your brother has your father's temper. I couldn't risk something happening to you. Joey is the oldest, I figured he'd have more of a chance of straightening your father out than you." she says.
"It's still wrong, Mom." I spit.
"My actions are not to be questioned, is that understood?" she says sternly. "Now eat your dinner and leave me in peace. I wish to speak of this nonsense no more."
"No, we are going to talk about it!" I yell. "Joey needs me, Mom!"
"What does he need you for Serenity that his friends can't help him with?" she asks.
"He's in love." I say.
"With?" she presses taking a sip of her wine.
"Seto Kaiba."
She spits her drink out, nearly choking out the foul liquid.
"The Seto Kaiba?!" she exclaims.
A grin breaks across my face. "Yup."
She shakes her head, wiping the corner of her mouth with the red napkin placed beside her white glass plate.
"How foolish to fall for someone like that." she says placing the napkin back down. "He should know Kaiba would never-"
"Mom, they made love." I say.
She immediately gets up walking over to the sink. Her fingers curling around the edges. She stares out the window.
"Mom?" I say getting up.
"Your brother being homosexual is another reason I don't want you around him." she mutters.
"Joey is bisexual, mom." I correct her. "And besides, even if he was gay why does it matter?"
"Because it's wrong, Serenity!" she exclaims turning around to face me. Her hazel eyes are full of hatred. "Didn't I teach you that?"
"Yes. But I don't like it! I don't like how you think that it's wrong. How could being happy be wrong, Mom?" I shout.
"You cannot be happy with the same sex, Serenity! Two men and two women cannot have children. Men only belong with women and vice versa. Homosexuals upset the natural balance. Bisexuals are even worse because they're trying to be heterosexual but they just can't seem to get back into reality so they're hanging on the fence. Your brother isn't bisexual. He likes women. He just thinks he's homosexual because his friends are." she spits.
"That is not true! Joey is bi, I know he is. I know he loves Kaiba and I know Kaiba loves him! You should be happy for him that he found someone that cares for him because you sure as hell don't!"
"You better watch your mouth." she warns me.
This would be the moment I usually would back down so not to disrespect her, but not this time. My brother's happiness is on the line and I refuse to have anyone mess it up. He needs me and I plan on being there for him; no matter what the risks.
"Joey needs me, Mom. He needs our support. I know you won't support him, nor will Dad, but I will! I don't care if Joey is in love Kaiba-"
"He only thinks he's in love with him because he's rich." Mom says.
"How could you even say that about Joey?!" I shout. "You dont' even know him!"
"He's like your father." she says. "He doesn't know how to save money, he thinks that that stupid game he plays is going to make him rich and successful."
"If you recall, that 'stupid game' of his got me my sight back!" I yell.
"Which, if you recall he didn't win that tournament. His friend Yugi did." she reminds me.
"I know this, but Yugi was kind enough to give him the money." I say.
"That's true, he was." Mom concurs. "But, you're missing the point Serenity. He's not skilled enough like Kaiba and Yugi to go full pro. You can't be a third-rate-wanna-be and expect people to like you."
"Mom, he's a great duelist!" exclaim.
"I never said he wasn't Serenity." she says. "All I'm saying is that he's not going to get any money being in third place."
"He was fourth in Battle City!" I shout. "He could have won if not for Mariku-"
"Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter." she says walking to the table to clean it off. "You're not seeing him, end of discussion."
"I can see that you're never going to understand." I spit walking out of the room.
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[Mai's POV]:
Bakura and I spent a day together. I was afraid of him at first, I'll admit, but after finding out that he didn't possess the Millennium Ring anymore and hearing the tale of his past, I couldn't help but feel for the man. He has so much pain inside of him. I feel that it's my right to help him.
I bought him some clothes, we went to the spa to get a full body massage. I got my nails and hair done. Bakura got a haircut that looks amazing on him. I made him change into one of his outfits before we left. Now, we're heading to the Game Shop. I've never been here before, but Bakura told me the address and I gave it to Preston. We should be there in about half an hour.
Joey is sure to be there. He's always around Yugi, he probably likes to spend the night and eat all of his food. I crack a smile at the thought.
"What's with the smile?" Bakura asks.
"Just thinking about how Joey probably eats all of Yugi's food when he's over." I reply.
Bakura snorts, looking out the window. He's not much of a talker. I can't blame him. It's not his fault. He's never really been around anyone. I was lucky he opened up to me. I think he feels a bit better knowing that someone cares for him. I always try to do the right thing. Ever since I met Richard and he opened my eyes to the truth of things I wanted to share my happiness with the world. Bakura is part of my world.
We have a lot in common. Regardless that he didn't tell me he was raped, I know he was. If you are, it is easy to tell that others are. I hate the type of people that go on those annoying TV shows and pretend that something happened to them. Bitch please, nothing happened to your skank ass you just want sympathy and money from those of us who have been through something tragic and have made a life for ourselves because we're not letting our past affect our future.
I told Richard about Joey and about Valon. He understands my deep bond with both of them and accepts it. I'm glad I have such an understanding man in my life. After the event with Dartz, Valon tracked me down apologizing for his behaviour. He admitted that he wanted to date me. At the time, I still have feelings for Joey and I explained that to him. He told me that he understood and asked if we could remain friends. I agreed. I was afraid to talk to Joey. He was the one person I betrayed the most even though he was the one that put his life on the line for me. Not once, but twice. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that.
Suddenly, the limo stops.
"Miss Valentine, we're here." Preston says opening the door for me. I climb out. Bakura, however, hasn't moved.
"Hun, you coming?" I ask.
Still, he doesn't say anything.
"A moment, Preston?" I ask my chauffeur.
"Of course, miss." he says returning to the driver's seat of the limo.
"Bakura, what's wrong?" I ask. "Is it Yami? Are you scared he's going to be mad?"
"It's nothing." he mutters darkly.
"No, it is something now tell me what's wrong." I demand.
"You should go see Joey. You haven't seen him in a while. You are nervous about seeing him, no?" Bakura asks stepping out of the limo.
I'm taken aback, going silent. Am I nervous about seeing Joey?
"You're letting your own fears shadow your judgement and you believe you're seeing something in me that you are not." Bakura says.
"Don't deny that you're scared to walk in there!" I shout.
"What is there to be scared of?" Bakura asks leaning against the limo. "I've already fucked these people's lives up. What more could I possibly do?"
"You know that's a lie." I say. "You know that you make Yami happy. Why else would he say he loved you?"
Bakura rolls his eyes. "Are we going to go in or not?" he asks.
"Uh uh." I tut-tut waving a newly manicured finger at him. "We're going to do this the right way. We have to impress your man."
Bakura gives me a look.
"Give me that look at all you want, but we've already been over this." I say turning around to go into the Game Shop. However, I don't move. What's wrong with me? I just need to go to the door and knock that's all. No one is going to hurt me. They're my friends. Even if Joey isn't here, at least Bakura and Yami can make up and maybe make love. They need it, badly.
"Stop freaking out, you're going to do fine, Mai." Bakura's voice penetrates my consciousness.
He's right. I will do fine. I just need to take a deep breath, hold my head up high and walk with confidence. I can do this. I have Bakura's support and Richard's even if they're not really here as I'd like them to be.
"Time to do this, Mai." I say to myself walking to the door.
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[Joey's POV]:
I can't believe my eyes. There, leaning against da wall is none other than Mai. The woman that changed my life for the better. When we first met, she was cold and distant. But I changed dat, she allowed us in. Then, Mariku banished her to the Shadow Realm and I pledged to her, my friends, and myself I'd save her. And although I had lost the duel, I won her back through Yuge and Yams.
I thought we were close then. I felt a bond with her that I have never felt before. I thought I was in love with her. I wanted to be. It would make Ma and Dad proud of me. Settlin' down wit a classy lady such as Mai, but I always knew in the back of my mind I wasn't. Then, she turned on us and joined Dartz and his gang of soul-taking rejects. I, once again, saved her. This time, however, I had my own soul taken away.
I haven't seen her since. Now she's standin' before me lookin' as beautiful as ever. Her usual curly blonde hair is now straightened. She's wearin' a silk black dress and matching knee high boots. Her lips are painted red and her nails are painted to match. Turquoise earrings dangle from her ears. She looks stunnin'.
"M-Mai." I choke. "W-what are ya doin' here?"
"I was just in the neighbourhood." she shrugs looking at her nails.
I'm not dat stupid. I know there's more to dis than dat.
"Where is Yami?" Mai asks looking up at us.
"How do you know about Yami?" Yugi asks.
The blonde haired woman rolls her eyes. "Don't give me that shit, Yugi. You know I know who Yami is." Mai says. "Now where is he?"
"We didn't think you believed in the yamis." T says.
"I didn't before." Mai says.
"I'll go get Yami." Yugi says.
"Bakura, you can come in here hun!" Mai calls after opening the door. She turns to face me. "You and I need to talk."
"My sister is picking us up soon." T says.
"T, is it okay if Mai and I talk at your house?" I ask.
He shrugs. "Doesn't matter to me. She should be here soon."
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[Yami's POV]:
Bakura didn't show up for school today. I knew he wouldn't. I'm not sure where he is, but I find that I'm worrying about him. Why? He's a grown man, he can take care of himself. Ryou and I talked last night. Well, he did most of the talking. He told me what he had been through with Bakura. I can understand how that must have hurt feeling Bakura's pain. The boy shouldn't have had to suffer that way when he had his own problems to deal with.
He told me that Bakura is in love with me. I'm not sure if that's true. I want to believe that he is, but how can I when the years I've known him he's tried to kill me?
He's changed. Anyone with eyes could see that, but I can't turn a blind eye to the fact that he still has hatred buried deep within. I want to be able to trust him and I want him to be able to trust in me. It's hard. Ryou said that I want to save Bakura because I love him. I do. I love him very deeply. His happiness means the world to me, regardless if he feels the same way or not, I want him to be happy.
The others are elsewhere in the house. I don't bother to get off the couch to find out. They'll return shortly. Tristan and Joey should be leaving soon leaving Marik, Yugi and me in the house. I suppose we'll end up watching movies or playing games until it's time for bed and then I'll go back up to my dungeon and dream of Bakura. I hate dreaming of him.
Does he dream of me too? When I got my memories back, all of those thoughts I used to have about Bakura came crashing back along with our fights and arguments. For some reason, I like to fight with him. I love being in his presence. It makes me feel..alive. He's the only person who has ever dared to challenge me in such a way. If the fate of the world wasn't at stake, I would have enjoyed our roleplaying game. He always has a way of pissing me off, but those gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile always have me undone.
He'll return. I'm not sure when, but he'll return. When he does, what will I say to him? What will he say to me? I confessed that I loved him. He never said it back, but Ryou believes he feels the same way. I want to hear it from his own mouth. I want to hear those beautiful words from that gorgeous deep voice. And until I do, everything else is just hearsay.
"Yami?" Yugi says coming into the living room. I turn so I can see him.
"Yes, Aibou?" I ask.
"Mai's here. She wishes to see you." Yugi says standing on one foot then shifting to the other.
I raise a brow. "Mai?"
He stills his movements. "Yes, she's in the shop portion with Joey and Tristan."
I stand up and we walk into the shop.
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[Bakura's POV]:
The way he's looking at me is causing things to stir inside of me that I never knew existed. We're staring into each other's eyes as if there's no one else in the room but the two of us. Even in pajamas I find him more beautiful than anyone I have ever been with. It hurts that I find him attractive, that I want him like I do.
'You're supposed to make him fall for you, not the other way around.' Zorc hisses in my mind reminding me of my mission. He's right. I can't go back on this. I have to destroy him but….
"Where the hell have you been?!" Marik shouts breaking the tension between the Pharaoh and me.
"He's been with me." Mai replies casually like she and I are best friends.
"Why?" Joey asks.
Mai gives him a look. "Because we're friends, why else?" she snorts.
A knock is heard at the door. Tristan goes to answer it, it's his sister.
"Are you ready to go, Tristan? Joey?" the girl asks. She's a tall skinny brunette with half the boobs Mai has. Her hair is to her shoulders.
"Can Mai come too?" Joey asks.
The girl shrugs. "Sure."
They leave which leaves Atem, Yugi, Marik and I in the room together.
"I'm going to bed." Yugi says. "Marik, come on let's let them talk."
Marik stares at me, lilac eyes boring into mine. Yugi pulls at his wrist, begging him to release me from the invisible hold he has me under.
After a while, he complies.
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[Seto's POV]:
I sit at the desk in my office at my house typing away at the keyboard. It's about one o'clock in the morning. I should go to bed. I have to get up at five to go to work for two hours and then I have to go to school, but sleep just isn't going to come to me. Not with all this nonsense riding in my mind not to mention the fact I have severe insomnia.
Mokuba and I talked about what happened between Joey and me the other day. He told me that I need to let go of what Gozaburo 'taught' me and accept that I love Joey and let him in. He wants me to open up to him and have a true relationship. How can I? I've never been able to trust people. Gozaburo told me that everyone is my enemy and friends and relationships are for fools and will only get in your way to ultimate power. I believed it. I wanted power, his power because then I'd be able to give Mokuba the life he deserved.
I took charge of my life when I stole the company from my step-father. I knew at that moment my and my brother's lives would never be the same.
I did everything in my power to change our lives, to make it better. I changed KaibaCorp to a gaming company and made a name for myself in the dueling world. I was number one until Yami stole my title. I'll get it back as soon as he leaves.
I thought I could make Mokuba happy by giving him everything he wanted, but I knew deep down inside that I wouldn't be able to. I know that money can't buy happiness. Gozaburo had tons of money and he was miserable. That's why he took all his frustrations out on me. I think he was jealous that I was smarter than him.
I want to bury my past. It hurts to think about. Mokuba said I need to accept it and move on. He said that I need to open up to Joey and allow him in. How can I though? How can I allow someone in besides Mokuba? Joey is a very trusting individual. He's proven himself that on many occasions. He shouldn't even try to help me. He shouldn't even want to be around me. I wouldn't if I were him, after the way I've treated him.
I have never been nice to him, yet he keeps coming back to me. Why? Wouldn't someone want to stay away from someone that's making fun of them? I sure would. Then again, Wheeler is a strange kid. Maybe his unwillingness to let me go is what attracts me to him. I'm used to people giving me what I want because they fear my wrath. He doesn't. He doesn't fear me at all. He fights me and I love every second of it.
I love the look in his eyes when he and I are dueling. He knows he'll lose, but he won't quit. His determination is uncanning. I've never seen such willpower before. I thought I had determination, but Joey's level is beyond anything I've ever seen. He could have won the Battle City Tournament. I know he could have. I know he's a great duelist. He proved that when he nearly defeated Mariku.
I remember that duel just like it was yesterday. My heart nearly stopped when Ra attacked him. I thought he was done for, but he was still standing. He drew Gearfied the Iron Knight. All he had to do was call out "Attack!" and he would have won the duel, thus obtaining Ra. But, it didn't happen.
For about a month, I would wake up to horrible nightmares where Mariku took him to the Shadow Realm and I never saw him again. It upset me that he was forced into a coma. I wanted to kill Mariku when Joey lost consciousness, but I knew I was no match for him, not at that time anyways.
That's another reason I wanted to win the duel between Yami and me. I wanted to get revenge for Joey. I couldn't tell the former Pharaoh that though. He'd think I cared, which I do, but still he doesn't need to know that. Things like this are weakness and should be kept hidden, especially from the people that need to hear it.
I was thankful he woke up and we were able to duel. I love dueling him. He will never beat me, but he keeps trying and each time he gets closer to achieving his goal. What will winning against me accomplish though? Does he believe that I'll praise him? He should me better than that.
Still, is it so bad to open up to someone? I want that. I want to be able to tell Joey about Gozaburo and how I feel about him. I want to help him and make love to him again. The other night was the most amazing night of my life. I was always told that sex was a way to take complete control of your enemies as long as you were in control of your desires and your body. I wasn't though. Does that make me weak?
Does it make me weak that I enjoyed being with Joey? Does it make me weak that I let him know this? I feel it does, but Mokuba said it doesn't. He said I need to allow myself to let Joey in and be myself. He said he misses how close we once were. I do too.
I need to tell Joey. I know I do, but I'm not sure if I can. How do I tell him that I love him without sounding like a weak fool?
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[Marik's POV]:
Bakura and Yami have been upstairs for a few hours now. There's no way I can sleep. So Yugi and I are watching TV curled up in some blankets. It's about one in the morning. Mr. Muto will be furious with us, but I think after Yugi explains to him what happened he'll be more understanding. He's always been too kind for his own good. It's a good quality to have, but sometimes it can cost you. Though, I doubt very seriously the man's stupid. He is Yugi's grandfather after all and he goes on long expeditions with Professor Hawkins and Ryou's father.
I glance over at Yugi. He's staring at the TV screen, but he seems like he's looking more through it than at it. I can understand why too. He's worried about what's going on between Yami and Bakura upstairs. Somehow or another, Mai and Bakura are bffs now. I have no idea how that happened and honestly, I'm kind of scared to find out. But, it is a good thing that Bakura has someone like Mai in his life. The woman is very strong and independent. I'm sure she can help us snap Bakura out of this nonsense he's dealing with.
I want to know what happened between Yami and Bakura on their date. Ryou had talked to Yami that night, so I'm sure he knows but I know he won't tell us. It's not his place to tell about Yami's and Bakura's personal business. Still, I feel I should know so I can help them.
"You're worried about Yami, aren't you?" I ask taking a sip of my hot chocolate. We had made some prior to coming in here. I love how warm it is in my hands. It's November now. Soon, it'll start getting cold. I think we're going to be on break soon. That's good, I hate school.
"Yeah." Yugi mumbles pulling the covers tighter around his small body.
I sit up, placing the cup on the table in front of me. "He's going to be fine, Yugi." I say.
"I know." he sighs. "It's just-"
"I know."
We sit in silence for a while. I feel like we have a mutual understanding for one another because the people we care about the most love each other. I want to help Yugi to get them together. Bakura and Yami belong together. Anyone can see that, I just wished Bakura would wake up and realize how lucky he is.
"Bakura is too stubborn for his own good." I say leaning back against the couch with my cup of hot chocolate. Yugi's sitting up staring into his. "You know this."
Yugi smiles. "Yami is too."
"And that's why they're made for one another." I say.
"I'm glad Bakura came back." Yugi says.
"I am too. I was worried about him." I say.
"We all were." Yugi says.
"I find it strange that Bakura and Mai were hanging out though." I muse.
"Mai won't take any of Bakura's shit. She's a strong woman." Yugi says.
I laugh. "True."
Still, I am a bit worried about that. Bakura seems to be trusting of her. What happened between them to cause him to trust her? Bakura isn't a very trusting person, for good reason too. Regardless if I want to know, I need to find out.
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[Mai's POV]:
We arrive at Tristan's house in about ten minutes. Apparently, they have school tomorrow so I best be quick about this.
"I wished you would have told me you were still in school." I say to Joey. We're sitting in the guest bedroom that he usually sleeps in. Tristan is elsewhere, probably trying to get some sleep.
"I don't care much 'bout school, you know dis." Joey says.
I crack a smile. "Of course you big knucklehead."
Joey smiles halfheartedly.
"So, tell me what you've been up to." I say sitting back in the chair I'm sitting in.
Joey shifts on the bed crossing his legs. He puts his elbows on his thighs and his face into palms curling his fingers into half fists. "Same ol' same ol' I suppose." he shrugs.
I press my lips together. "You know that's not true. For example, what's going on with you and Kaiba?"
The blonde haired boy sits up. "How did ya know…"
"Hun, I'm not stupid. Now are you going to tell me what's been going?" I ask.
"Where have you been?" Joey asks.
"I'll tell you after you tell me how you've been." I say.
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[Joey's POV]:
Mai and I tell each other what's been going on in our lives from the last time we saw each other until now. She told me dat she was married. I automatically assumed it was Valon, but she assured me dat it wasn't. She seems to be doing well though. I can tell that she's happy. I'm happy for her. I have missed her terribly.
Now that we've caught up, it's time for us to talk about what happened between us. I'll admit, I'm nervous as hell, but it has to be done. I don't want her to feel guilty. I know she does. I can't blame her. Sure, she didn't hafta go to Dartz for help, but it happened and there's nothin' I can do 'bout it. She's here now that's all dat matters to me.
"I'm not mad at cha." I say.
Mai's head snaps over to me. "What?"
"I said I'm not mad." I repeat.
Mai looks away. "Don't give me that." she mutters.
"Mai, why do ya think I'm mad at cha?" I ask.
"You're always so forgiving of people that don't deserve it." Mai says.
"You deserve it." I say.
Mai lets out a chilling laugh. "No I don't."
"Why don't cha think so? Ya a great person, Mai." I say.
"Because I used you! You risked your soul-your life for me and I repaid you by following a madman!" she exclaims looking at me.
"Ya had ya reasons Mai. I'm not holdin' nothing against cha." I say.
"It doesn't justify it Joey!" she exclaims. "Because of me you almost died! Hell, you practically did! If it wasn't for my arrogance then you wouldn't have had to save me from the Shadow Realm! I should have known better than to face Mariku! If you didn't have the amount of willpower you do then you would be lost to the Shadows. I wanted to make it up to you somehow. That's the second reason I left. I felt terrible that you had to be put through that. I felt that it was my fault. You didn't have to do that for me, but you did and it meant the world to me. It still does."
"I did it because I love you." I say.
Mai smiles, tears brimming her eyes.
"Mai, what's wrong?" I asks concernedly. I stand up, walking over to her kneeling down beside of her.
She shakes her head looking away from me.
"Mai, look at me." I say reaching up to touch her face. She looks at me. Those beautiful violet eyes are glossy with tears.
"I'm so sorry." she whispers tears streaming down her face causing her make-up to run.
"Oh Mai." I say throwing my arms around her, holding her in my arms.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." she says over and over again.
I rub her back doing my best to calm her.
"Ya don't need ta apologize, Mai." I say.
She pulls away from me. She picks up her purse from the small table beside of her, taking out a purple cloth and dabbing her face with it.
"Yes I do." she says. "It is my fault you went through that."
I close my eyes for a moment, shaking my head. "It's not ya fault Mai. Ya were scared and lonely. Anyone would be after being through what ya went through."
"But I took it out on you!" she exclaims squeezing the purple cloth in her hand. "You didn't deserve that!"
"Again, ya were scared. I don't blame ya for doing what ya did." I say wiping her tears away with my thumb.
"It doesn't excuse it Joey. Why aren't you mad at me?" she asks.
"Why would I be mad at cha?" I ask. "Ya didn't do nothing wrong!"
"I sent you away!" she exclaims. 'I took all of my pain, all of my loneliness, all of my anger out on you! The one person who ever gave a damn about me! I repaid you with betrayal and blame! How can you even call me your friend? How can you-"
I pull her into an embrace letting her cry against me. She's really upset about dis. She feels that I should be mad. I can't be mad at her. I understand dat she was upset. It's over and done with though, it's time to move on.
"We all do things we regret." I say. "Hell, I've done plenty, but hard feelings aren't gonna solve nothing. I love you Mai and I want us to be friends. I don't blame ya for what happened, so please don't blame ya self."
Mai pulls away from me. "Thank you, Joey. You are such a sweetheart. I'm so glad we're friends."
Tears blur my vision dis time. "I am too." I say, smiling.
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[Yami's POV]:
Bakura came back. Mai had brought him here, why I'm unsure. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He looked absolutely stunning in his jeans, black shirt and that gorgeous white hair reaching the middle of his back. I finally snapped out of my trance and we decided it would be best to talk in my and Yugi's room.
I'm sitting on my bed while Bakura is sitting in one of the chairs.
"You wanted to talk?" he asks.
I don't answer right away. How do I begin? How do I tell him how I truly feel without having him laugh in my face? He's always been out to get me. Hell, he made fun of me for getting turned on seeing him naked. Still,he's come a long way since then. I never thought in a million years I'd fall in love, and not only did I fall in love, I fell in love with the man who had caused so much of my pain. I believe that Hathor is out to get me.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"For?" he presses.
"I didn't mean to upset you the way I did." I say. "I just wanted you to know how I felt about you."
"You didn't upset me." he says.
Why is this so hard? Why can't I trust him? Why do I want to trust him for that matter? What is it about this man that drives me to him? It's more than physical attraction now. Being around Bakura makes me feel things I've never felt before.
When I first woke up in these times and my bond with Yugi began, I believed that I was in love with him. We shared a powerful bond and when I lost him to the Seal of Orichalcos, I felt as though I lost a piece of myself. But when I'm around Bakura, I feel that feeling is ten times stronger. When he's upset I can feel it. When he smiles my world lights up. I love being around him. I love spending time with him.
I shouldn't feel this way about him, but I do. I hate myself for it too. I hate myself because it's wrong to be in love with him. He has done nothing but cause me pain. He has tried to kill me, has tried to obliterate my very soul. He's hurt my friends and my family. He doesn't care anything about me. He blames me for everything, making the guilt I have about what happened to him increase tenfold.
When I first met Bakura, it was the day I was crowned Pharaoh. He demanded the items and bested my high priests and priestess. When we fought, I felt something I had never felt before. I love battling against him. I love his challenges. I love everything about him. And it terrifies me.
"Then why didn't you come home?" I ask.
"I have my reasons." is his reply.
"You don't have to bottle everything up, Bakura. I"m here to help you." I say.
"Don't you have other things to worry about?" he sneers.
"I'm worried about you."
"Well stop it's quite annoying." he spits.
I sigh heavily. How do I get him to understand this isn't a game? That I truly love him? How do I explain the reasons he makes me feel so wonderful when it confuses me? I want to get to know him. I want to spend time with him. I want to hold him and for him to hold me. I want to help him, I want to save him.
But will he let me? Will he let me in his heart and trust me? He's opened up a bit to me but he still hates me. I don't want him to hate me. I want him to get his anger and rage out. I want him to know that I feel terrible about what happened. I want him to know that I'll do whatever I have to do in order to save his soul.
I move so I'm sitting on the edge of the bed. Bakura looks up at me those beautiful red eyes piercing into mine. I take a deep breath. It's now or never.
"I know you hate me, Bakura. You've come a long way and you've opened up to me, but you cannot deny that you still blame me for what happened to you." Bakura opens his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "And I don't blame you. If I were you, I would have done the same thing. What happened to you is not your fault. I know apologizes cannot heal your wounds nor can they bring your loved ones back. I wished I could make all of your pain go away. I hate seeing you so said, so miserable…"
"I'm not sad and I'm not miserable!" he hisses.
I smile lightly. "You're not fooling me. I can see it in your eyes that you're hurting. I want to help you. I want to save you, if you'll let me." I say.
"There's nothing to save, Atem." he spits. "You're wasting your time on me. You said it yourself you believe I still hate you. If that is the case then why are you still trying to save me knowing that I could be luring you into a trap?"
"Because I love you." I reply.
Bakura scoffs, rolling his eyes.
"You don't believe me?" I inquire.
"Pharaoh, do you know how many people have told me that they love me?" Bakura laughs humourlessly.
"Well, I'm not those people. You should know me better than that, Bakura." I say.
"I do know you that's why there's no way you could love me. We've been enemies for over five thousand years." he says.
"That's true," I concur. "But that doesn't mean I hate you."
"You can't love someone that you hate, it's impossible." he says.
"I don't hate you." I say.
"Why?" he asks.
"There's no reason to hate you." I reply. "What happened between us wasn't your fault."
"Stop trying to be so humble." Bakura spits. "It's annoying."
"I'm not." I say.
"You try to pass yourself as my saviour, but you know deep down you're doing this because you feel guilty." he says.
"I do feel guilty." I admit.
"Then stop telling me that you love me when you don't. When I'm 'saved', if I ever do get saved you and I will return back to normal. You know it's true." Bakura says.
"Then don't let it." I say. "Let me help you. Open up to me. Tell me how you feel."
Bakura laughs humourlessly. "What a waste of time that would be."
"It's not a waste of time." I say. "You deserve to be happy."
"Happiness if for fools, can't you understand that?" he spits.
I stand up, walking over to him. He stands up as well, backing up against the wall.
"Let me help you." I say.
"No." he hisses. "I don't want nor do I need your help."
"Stop listening to Zorc." I say.
"I'm not-"
"Don't give me that, Bakura, I know you're listening to him. I know he's telling you not to trust me. I know he's trying to get you to destroy me. That's why you still hate me because the darkness Zorc planted in you is still there. It's the reason you don't want my help. It's the reason you won't trust me. Zorc doesn't care about you." I say.
"Oh and you do?" he spits.
"I do." I say. "I care about you a lot."
"What a waste of time." he snarls. "You could have been in the afterlife a long time ago, but instead you're wasting your time on me."
"I'm not wasting my time on you. I have enjoyed the time we've spent together. I'm glad I decided to save you. It was my destiny to."
We stare at each other for what seems like forever. Bakura's searching me, wanting answers. He doesn't understand why I love him. He thinks I'm lying. He wants to trust me and I believe he does deep down, but because of Zorc he won't let himself let go and be happy.
"I don't want you to feel like you're alone, Bakura, because you are not. I know that I don't understand how you feel and I never will. But I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart and I'll always be here for you. I'll listen to what you have to say and I won't judge you." I say.
I reach a hand up, stroking the side of his face.
"Stop it!" Bakura hisses grabbing my hand and throwing it away from him. If not for the look in his eyes, I would have turned away and left. They're a mix of hatred and helplessness. He's fighting within himself. "You don't love me, so stop saying that! Stop wasting your time on me when you know damn well it's a waste of time!"
"You are not a waste of time!" I shout.
Bakura pushes me away trying to leave the room. I won't let him. I'm not going to have him leave thinking I love him out of guilt.
"You really need to stop." he hisses walking to the bed. "I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, Atem. You know you're wasting your time. You need to go into the afterlife."
"I want to go to the afterlife." I say. "But I want to go with you."
"You know I can't go there." he spits.
"That's why I'm saving you so you can." I say.
He turns around so he's facing me. "Why?" he snaps. "You know you're only doing this because you feel guilty, you admitted it yourself!"
"When I first decided to save you, yes, I did it out of guilt. I felt horrible about what happened to you. I shouldn't have! I shouldn't have felt bad! I didn't do anything to you technically it was my uncle, but you made me feel like it was my fault because you couldn't get your revenge on the real culprit or who you thought was! Do you know how horrible I feel that that happened to you? And I'm sure that's not even the half of what you've been through considering you were raised by Zorc!" I shout.
"Then stop feeling guilty!" Bakura shouts. "It's pathetic! If you didn't do anything then stop worrying about me! I don't want you to worry about me! I can take care of myself!"
"I never said you couldn't, Bakura." I say.
"Then why are you smothering me? Why are you telling me that you love me when you don't?!" he yells.
I walk closer to him. He backs up, the backs of his legs hitting the edge of the bed.
"I know it's hard for you to trust someone, especially me. It's understandable since you were told that my father ordered the attack on your home. I never wanted to hurt you. I locked you away because I had no other choice. I'm sorry for not listening to you. I had to protect my people, but don't think that I didn't care about you because I did. I still do. Ever since the day we met, I haven't been able to get you off of my mind. I was constantly worried about you attacking my kingdom, but I was also worried about how you were letting the darkness control you.
"I know you're a good person. I never believed the people of Kul Elna were evil. I didn't like that they robbed the tombs, but being thieves doesn't make anyone evil. They had their reasons and I know you did too. No, I didn't like how you robbed my father's tomb and took his possession and dragged his sarcophagus into my palace demanding the items. I didn't like how you hurt my council. I didn't like how you hurt my friends, but I understood why you had."
I take a deep breath before beginning again. "I know that it hurts Bakura. I know you blame yourself for what happened, but it is not your fault. I want you to be happy. I want you to let yourself go and accept the help you need. I know it's hard for you to do this, but I'm here for you. I want to help you get through this.
"I know you don't believe me when I tell you that I love you. I know that people have told you they loved you and they turned around and stabbed you in the back. I know you and I have been enemies and we've been trying to destroy each other, but I no longer see you as my enemy. I see you as my friend." I say.
"Friend?" Bakura says.
"Yes. You are my best friend, Bakura." I say reaching up to touch his face. "Being around you makes me happy even though it shouldn't."
"You can't expect me to believe this." he hisses jerking away from my touch.
I move closer to him. Our bodies practically touching. "I love you." I say.
"No you don't." he spits.
"Words cannot begin to explain how I feel about you. How angry you make me. How happy you make me. I don't want to know why I fell for you, I'm just glad that I did. I know you hate me, so take all of your anger out on me. Show me how you feel about me! Let all of your anger, rage, hurt, and frustration out on me! Let go of all of that hurt you have bottled up. And then, I'll show you how much you mean to me!" I exclaim closing the distance between us, pushing him down onto the bed.