Nate POV

A month later

Advanced Biotics

The class is currently waiting for Samara to show up, which was weird because she is usually on time. There was only one absentee and that was Kai Leng but otherwise everyone was her: Me, Liara, Miranda, Morinth, Jack, Aria, and Javik. Liara was talking to Javik about the Protheans whilst the latter looked annoyed. Aria was looking through some datapads with a pleased expression.

Every once in a while I caught Jack making glances at me, something she has never done before. She doesn't strike me as the type to give brief looks at people or even care if they spot her, but with me she's trying to be discreet about it. Maybe I've got something in my hair. Speaking of hair I'd noticed that Jack had been growing hers out. It's gotten fairly long, doesn't reach her shoulders but her whole head is covered, I don't know what prompted this change but it had to be pretty strong. After a few minutes Samara waltzed in, in her usual grace and class with Kaidan in tow. Why was he here?

"Today we have been assigned a new student" Samara announced "Kaidan Alenko has displayed exceptional Biotic Abilities. This has prompted him to be promoted to the Advanced Biotic course" she finished. I always wondered why some people weren't in AB, particularly Kaidan, Nyreen and Thane. I've seen their skills first hand and they aren't far behind anyone on this course. I know that Kaidan's better than Miranda and Kai Leng in terms of Biotics and is almost as good as me.

Everyone on this course has impressive Biotics but it's also based on combat abilities. Mine are impressive but are by no means the best. Liara, Aria, Morinth and Jack are here purely for Biotics, they are off the freaking charts but in terms of hand to hand or ground warfare they aren't as strong as others. Jack bludgeons her way through her obstacles and Aria, Morinth and Liara have relied on their natural biotics all of their lives so they never had to develop other skills. Miranda is innovative, she finds new ways of using her Biotics like her Slam and her above normal physical attributes. From what I know about Kaidan he's here because of his combat intelligence, as a sentinel he knows how to use his technical and biotic abilities to their full potential. Kai Leng is the perfect assassin. His hand to hand as well as his Biotics makes him almost impossible to beat without weaponry. Then there were Javik and I. We are both vanguards, so we're here because of our combat and biotic abilities however he has better biotics whereas I am better with weapons and hand to hand combat.

"Today you are going to do survival training. You will be up against several waves of opposition ranging from LOKI Mechs to YMIR Mechs" Samara announced. As she spoke we went over to the Weapons bench "AND YOU WILL HAVE NO WEAPONS" she declared. What the hell was she thinking? I know that this class is meant to push our biotic abilities but this was almost suicide. Unless we decide to take entire waves individually there is no way we can last the entire simulation.

I walked to the armour VI to decide what kind of armour I wanted. I know that if we did what we usually did and watched out for ourselves there was no way we could survive, we needed to work together. I turned to the others "Listen people" I yelled "I know that we usually split up as individuals to deal with whatever Samara thinks up" I stated "But we all know that there isn't a chance in hell that we survive this exercise as one person. We actually need to work together for this otherwise we'll all be dead within 30 minutes" at this I got glares from Jack and Javik "Without weapons of any kind and just our biotics the amps will short out during wave 1 and waiting for them to cool-down would likely get us killed." I could see the gears turning in each of their heads, they were coming to the slow realisation that I was right even Jack. "Because there's 8 of us we need to split into 2 groups. And there will be 2 leaders" each of them looked to each other to see if anyone was gonna disagree "And I'm one of them" I announced.

"Now wait a minute. What the hell makes you think I'll follow YOU" Morinth hissed

"Because I said so!" I exclaimed "And let's face it in terms of leadership you and Jack are the only two without any experience. Miranda wouldn't listen to Aria, Aria wouldn't listen to Liara and Jack wouldn't listen to Miranda" I countered "I'm the overall leader does anyone have a problem with that!" I shouted. No argument came my way, Javik shrugged, Liara was smirking, Aria looked bored, Kaidan and Miranda were focused, Morinth was frustrated and Jack was squirming slightly, avoiding eye contact.

I smirked realising that I had just taken control "Now let's get one thing out of the way, the 2nd leader will be Javik" I announced

"What! Why him" Aria complained

"He has no problems with any of you and he commands respect through combat" I explained. I looked around and everyone seems to be at peace with my decision. "The teams are me, Jack, Kaidan and Liara" I commanded. Miranda was disgusted when I said Jack's name and her face fell when she realised that she wasn't on my squad. I didn't just pick people I liked, I'm not stupid. I chose this squad because Liara and Jack have the most stamina, in terms of biotics. I needed a Sentinel since I need someone to deal with the Mechs and Kaidan fits that bill, I couldn't pick Miranda because I wasn't sure how her and Jack would behave part of the same squad. I gave Javik an identical squad to mine since Aria and Morinth are like Jack and Liara, Kaidan and Miranda are alike just as me and the Prothean.

"Aria, Morinth, Liara. The three of you will wear light armour. You can choose which style you want but make sure that you pick one which bolsters biotic abilities as well as one with a barrier" I instructed "Miranda, Kaidan the two of you are gonna also wear light armour but yours will increase your technical abilities, as well as have a powerful Barrier" the two nodded and went to the armour rack. I looked at Javik "Me, you, and Jack will wear medium to heavy armour. In this group we are the muscle" I looked at Jack who had an eyebrow raised in confusion "Figuratively speaking. We are the vanguards so we will be the blunt force objects. We'll be in the front lines so we need the most armour. Understand" they both nodded and got ready. I put on my Blood Dragon Plate Armour.

The background began to materialize. We ended up in this burning ship, explosions occurring in every direction, smoke filling up the air making it hard to breathe. I promptly put on my breather mask as did the others. There was a bridge in the centre of the room littered with fallen debris from the roof and walls. The walls had holes melted out of them so I could see the sparks flying out of them. There was also an alarm. A warning alarm like that in a nuclear reactor going into meltdown.

"ATTENTION, THIS IS THE PURGATORY PRISON SHIP WARDEN, ALL INMATES PLEASE RETURN TO YOUR CELLS. THE LOKI MECHS ARE DESIGNED TO ATTACK ANYONE OUT OF THEM. ANY LOSSES OF LIFE ARE NOT OUR PROBLEM". Well that explains why this shape gives me a bad feeling and I'm guessing we're the inmates to be killed. This should be fun.

"Javik you're team stays behind cover. When I give the signal you come down for the switch or back-up" I ordered, he gave me a puzzled expression but merely nodded. I know that Javik respects me just as I do him. My squad climbed down to the ground and took cover.

"Jackass" Jack said in her radio "Why are they stayin' up there when we're down here fighting" she asked

"After this wave I fully expect our amps to have been pushed to the limit. After the wave we climb back up and they take over. We'll keep on this rotation system until there aren't no more bucket-heads to smash" I grinned.

In the distance I could hear the LOKI Mechs, using their usual chatter. From what I can tell they still haven't found us. "Does anyone have a visual"

"Yes they are currently crossing the far bridge" Liara informed "There are 6 of them". That doesn't make sense they are way too far away for me to hear. Shit they're.

"Above us" I yelled. The Mechs were lining up shots. We each put up a biotic barrier and ran underneath the bridge. But now the ones that Liara had spotted have a clear shot. "I'll handle them, you guys are on the lookout for any more" I instructed.

I reached into a part of my mind which holds my pain and anger allowing it to grow and fester until I unleashed it in one powerful biotic Charge. I closed the distance in a split second, the explosion blowing them to bits. As good measure I jumped high into the air, concentrating my biotic power onto my fist and plunged towards the ground sending a shockwave that shattered the Mechs to bits. I got this huge headache meaning my amp was being pushed. My heartbeat started to fluctuate from slow to quick and it was becoming harder to breathe. I looked around and everyone seemed to be busy dealing with their own individual cluster of machines. When we had completed the wave I was puffing like crazy.

"Switch!" I yelled. I waited for the entire squad to climb down the ladder, I knew this was gonna suck but if I run, I'm pretty sure I'll pass out. I used a biotic charge to get back to where we all started. I collided with the wall then fell like a lump onto the cold, metallic floor. I crawled to cover.

"Nate, are you alright" Kaidan asked in concern. Looking at his face brought back some old memories. He and I were playing in my room, video games, talking. At the park playing sports just me, him and her. Her. Her… why can't I get over it, stop being such a pussy. It happened 3 years ago, there's nothing you can do to change that, MOVE ON. My heart rate went sky high. It was pounding through my chest, the pain getting worse with each beat.

"Yeah… I'm fine" I breathed, I then gulped. I shouldn't be this tired, no matter what it is I'm doing.

"Hey" Jack said getting my attention "You don't look too good" she said "Maybe you should stay behind on this next one" she suggested with a hint of worry

"No way, I'm fine" I dismissed

"She is right Nate" Liara added, giving me a concerned look.

"I can do this!" I growled. That sent a message that I wasn't gonna change my mind. Kaidan was smirking, probably at the fact that I'm still as stubborn as ever.

"Switch!" Javik called. Dammit how the hell could they be done already, I'm still trying to get my breath back.

Liara and Kaidan jumped down the ladder and immediately took cover on either pillar under the bridge. I on the other hand had only just gotten up from my exhaustion. Jack was staring at me the whole time. It could be worry, could be that she's waiting' on me to fall on my ass and laugh hers off. I staggered back to my feet, barely. I almost fell back down. When that happened I could swear Jack started to move forward, even if it was for a split second.

I took cover in the barricade just behind Kaidan. "Anyone see or hear anything?" I asked. Their eyes darted around the room, trying to find any signs of movement.

"Uhh… Nate look over there" Kaidan pointed across the room and there was this huge YMIR Mech marching across the pathway, its heavy footsteps shaking the ground. "There's some more" Jack hollered pointing at the two corners behind us where two began lining up shots. Javik used reave to throw the Mech off balance whilst Aria flared the other. I gave them a thumbs up in appreciation.

Four of them four of us. I won't lie in my condition it would be a miracle if I could take one, but I can't let them know that. "I'll take the one on the left. Jack you go right" she nodded and charged over to the Mech whilst I did the same to the other. The shockwave knocked it back a few feet. My heart was pounding powerfully, it began pounding through my ears and this headache is getting way worse, my breathing was becoming ragged as well as few and far between. I was rapidly becoming light headed. Damn! Not again. I looked up and its main gun was aimed dead in my face. I started getting double vision and everything was hazy. Shit!

I did the only thing I could think of. I concentrated my biotics into the palm of my hands and forced it out in a shockwave, once again forcing the Mech back. I knew it would shoot in a couple of seconds and I still had double vision. There was one to the left and one to the right, 1 wrong guess and I'm dead. No pressure. I tapped into all of the nodules in my body, to use something I never have before. I read up on it in the Resources room. My arms were tingling as I attempted to focus. I had to guess left or right so….. Why not…. left. I launched a mass effect field towards the left YMIR Mech. THANK GOD I'M RIGHT. A biotic Stasis field formed around the big machine. I took this as an opportunity to find cover. I took cover in a corner behind the Mech.

I need a game plan and something preferably now. I have no idea how long that stasis field will last but I doubt it'll be long enough. My thoughts wondered to a similar situation where me and her were cornered by some Geth. Kaidan used Stasis, I used Reave and she blasted them all to bits. I remember how sweet her smile was and Geth debris flew in every direction. I was struggling to capture my breath and my left arm was numb with pain. I don't know why I'm so tired but this ends now. I accessed the hormone nodules in my head that releases adrenaline into my body. That just made matters worse. My heart started pounding even louder and my arm was stinging with pain. At least I could feel it now. My muscles were feeling weak and I'm finding it harder to stand.

THUD. A metallic thud brought me back to reality, I took a peak around the corner to see the YMIR Mech on its ass. It was pretty funny to see. I could barely move my limbs and I've got walking death in front of me. I stood up and focused as much biotic power as I could onto my right fist. I ran as fast as I could towards the mech, jumped and gave it the hardest Biotic Punch I could muster. To my credit I made did quite a bit of damage. However my vision was still fucked up. When I connected I hit its shoulder region, ripping its arm off. I rolled on the floor when I landed in exhaustion. The mech was turning around in 90 degrees intervals. Right now it has almost turned. I attempted another Stasis field. Come on let's….go with….left! I fired the stasis field.

"Damn" I whispered to myself as I watched the Biotic ball hit the back wall. I had resigned myself to my fate.

"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" I heard Jacks primal scream fill the air. She had used her biotics to jump up to this level and connect with a punch way harder than the one I hit since it took out its entire upper body.

There was a sharp pain in my heart and the hurt in my left arm was unbearable. I started sweating profusely. This can't be happening again. Jack had me cradled in her arms as she started shaking me like a rag doll. Everything began fading. As darkness took over I became fearful of whether or not I would awaken. Here we go again.

Jack POV

Advanced Biotics

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. What the fuck just happened. I finished up my job so that I could help Shepard and when I turn around he's about to die. And when I save his sorry ass he passes out. Why the hell do I care so much? I started shaking the shit out of him so that he would wake up. He's still breathing so he's still alive. But for how much longer? That question freaked me out. If you're killed you are pulled out of this simulation but not if you pass out. I doubt that asking Samara to end this would be useful, she'd likely reject it.

"Nate!" that Kaidan guy yelled. He also jumped up here and ran up to us. He looked worried about him. "What happened" he commanded. I was gonna get pissed about him ordering me but even I know that would have been a bad idea

"When I got here he was about to be killed by that" I said pointing at the scraps that remained of the YMIR Mech. He was muttering some shit to himself

"Shit. They're in my bag" he yelled in frustration. He looked remorseful for a second. He muttered I'm sorry before he used his biotics. He punched Nate in the temple caving his skull in. He just killed him

"What the fuck" I screamed pinning him against the floor.

"Listen to me we don't have a lot of time" he urged "I need you to kill me otherwise. NATE WILL DIE. For real not just in this combat Sim" he warned. What the hell is he talking about. "WHAT ARE YOUWAITIN' FOR" he yelled. I've seen this guy around, he always struck me as a pussy. He's always starin' at Rylee like he wants to fuck her but never does anything about it. Now he's actually yelling at me. I guess I should listen and I get to kill something. Always a bonus. I killed him the exact same way he killed Nate.

I can't believe what I'm about to do but I'm curious as hell about what's goin' on. I charged to the YMIR Mech in front of the asari bitch. "By the way me, Nate and the new guy are dead" I informed her. She gave me a puzzled look when I finished. I strode up to the YMIR Mech. "Kill me then you big ugly bastard" I yelled and I got my wish.

I awoke on the floor holding my chest. This has never happened to me before considering that I'm usually the sole survivor or one of the last few. But this was something else. Death is painful. Kaidan was standing above Nate. He was scrambling through his bag desperately trying to find whatever it was that he was looking for. "There they are" he took out some syringes and pills from his bag. He ripped Nate's shirt open and stabbed the syringe into his heart. He then took the pills. "Shepard. Shepard!" he said slapping him "Come on stay with me" he then noticed that I was also there and his face turned into one of horror.

"Prop him up" he ordered and I complied. He then shoved some pills into his mouth and forced him to swallow.

"I'm sorry for yelling earlier" he apologised "But it was necessary, you may have saved his life". Bullshit, I didn't save anyone. Saving lives is heroic and that should be left to the heroes not someone as fucked up and deranged as me.

Samara walked in to the room to check on us. She ran up to Nate to see what was wrong "What is wrong" she asked.

"He was exhausted and he passed out don't worry he's just asleep now" Kaidan dismissed with a warm smile. I'm not sure if the Asari bought it but she didn't press any further. "Jack come on it's about 30 minutes until lunch so let's get Nate to the Canteen"

"No way" I snorted "I've listened to your shit for a while. Now we do it my way follow me" I instructed lifting Nate into the air. We arrived at the tree outside the infirmary. I set Nate gently down on the grass. From the corner of my eye I could see Kaidan texting someone with his omni-tool. "Who ya textin'"

"Garrus, telling him to meet us here" he explained

"No way. I don't like crowds, no more people. His preppy sister, Liara, Thane and me are enough for me" I said. Crowds make me feel like even more of a freak than I already do.

"Relax he'll come with Rylee and Thane. You'll like him. Everyone else does"

"What's with you and Rylee" I smirked. It was freaking hilarious how his cheeks just became a deep shade of red.

"Nothing. Rylee is my friend nothing more" he said with a hint of sadness

"I remember when I first met her. She looked like she wanted to rip this Turian guys clothes off" I joked but he didn't take it as that. His head dropped even further. Nice going you pathetic bitch!

"Why did you transfer in" I asked hoping it would get him out of his melancholy

"In short I was too good to not be taking the Advanced Biotics course." He smirked "Liara told how hard it is but that just made me want it even more"

"What about you?" he asked

"What about me"

"I'm not stupid…" he was thinking of something

"Oh my god you don't even know my name do you" I said incredulously whilst smiling

"I know your name" he japed "It starts with a… letter"

"No shit"

"Juh… Muh…that's it Max" he said I shook my head "Jack?" he hoped. I shook my head again to screw with him.

"Lacey, Casey, Candice, Romy, Taylor….. Gertrude!" I couldn't help it. I fell on my ass laughing. Where the hell did he come up with a name like Gertrude?

"Naah it's Jack" I informed him. He shook his head and started laughing. I guess this Kaidan guy is alright.

"Jack I've seen you look at Nate. I know you like him" Kaidan said. What the fuck is he on about? I swear he is on one. Why the fuck would I ever have feelings for that dickhead. His shit eating grin is the last thing I would ever want to see. He's a fucked up bastard and has way too much baggage, the cheerleader can have him! "There's nothing wrong with having feelings for people Jack. It's healthy" he finished

"I was just starting to like you, ya know then you open your mouth" I yelled rather childishly

"I'm sorry if I've made you angry but running away from the truth doesn't make it go away. I'm positive that at least a few others have noticed it too. Liara has" he looked over my shoulder and gestured towards it "Thane's probably noticed"

The drell walked in his usual calm collected demeanour but he was holding his arm. Rylee and the Turian she wants to fuck pretty far behind.

"Thane have you noticed anything new about Jack lately?" Kaidan asked

"I have noticed that she has been growing out her hair lately" he stated

"What I can't just wanna look nice anymore" I said offended by what they think. I just want to look as good as I can. That bald look just screamed freak.

"You have also been more and more involved with Nate's activities such as the art, ship building and teaching biotic kids" the drell pointed out

"I'm trying new things. Can't I have other interests that don't involve murder, violence or crime?" what do they think of me, that I'm such a freak that I can't be artsy or helpful in any way, shape or form.

"I do not know you well enough to make judgements about your interests. However the only correlation between you and those activities is Nate" The drell commented. I know that the more I argue the more they'll think they're right but not arguing is like resigning to their judgement.

Just as I was about to respond I heard someone running. Rylee was running as fast as she could towards us. She bent down and examined Nate.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" she asked almost deranged

"Calm down Ry. He's just sleeping" Kaidan assured

"Bullshit!" she retorted "He doesn't sleep like that. Not as if he's on an operating table. He sleeps in the foetal position" she accused. Kaidan and that Turian walked behind the tree and started talking about something.

"What!" an unfamiliar voice bellowed. I then heard some hushing. I decided to find out what's what so I went behind the tree to see just what they were talking about.

"Any reason behind this little pow wow" I asked. They looked away from each other and tried to look at anything besides me. Obviously this was a sensitive topic.

"Come on Garrus she saw it during AB" Kaidan said trying to convince the Turian. So this is the famous Garrus the jackass can't stop talking about. Always thought he'd be uglier and shorter.

"She saw it"

"Saw what?" I interrupted rather loudly.

"Shhh shhh shhshshshh come on. Rylee doesn't know follow me" Kaidan grabbed Garrus and used his biotics to jump somewhere. I think it's that spot Nate showed me.

Thane POV

Lunch

I am currently sitting under the tree where I have had lunch for the past few years. Across me sits a beautiful human woman currently attending to her brother who lay unconscious. She caresses his hair lovingly watching him sleep. I could tell that she loved her brother dearly and held him to a high regard, and I cannot blame her, from what I have seen of them both they command respect through action and leadership. A smile tugs at the corner of her lips as Nate begins snoring lightly.

She is so compassionate. It is rare for someone to show so much compassion whilst at the same time juggle being tough. She is a genuinely good person with a pure heart. From speaking with Garrus I can tell that they are very similar but very difference. Rylee is sweet, innocent and empathetic whereas Nate is more crude, hardened and brash, a direct quote from Garrus 'he has a slight evil quality'.

Every week day of the past month I have taken Kolyat to the nursery and every day I have left with Rylee. She gets along very well with Kolyat. He seems to like her very much, she seems to be the female he comes into the most contact with. I don't allow many people to even hold Kolyat, only Rylee, Lizbeth and Julianna. I love Kolyat with every fibre of my being and I will protect him from every and all dangers that I have brought to him by his existence.

What was hard for me to understand was that Rylee still had no idea as to Kolyat's origin, his mother, or anything. She hasn't asked even though she is likely aware that I would tell her if she asked. But why isn't she and how is she so calm about me having a son? I have no clue as to why but it bothers me. I feel an overwhelming urge to tell her everything but I fight it for some reason. Could it be shame or is it fear of what she might think of you if she were to discover the truth

Cerberus HQ

Unspecified Location

Illusive Man POV

I looked deep into the star with the intricate, illuminated designs in my eyes hiding a deep emotional trauma. The plan is coming into fruition soon, but there is no need to rush. Everything needs to be perfect for our dream to be realised Humanity needs to be on the of the top of the Hierarchy. We are close. However.

I have just received a report from Henry Lawson. He is a trusted and valued member of Cerberus otherwise I wouldn't have trusted him with Miranda as well as Zero. However intelligence suggests that she is currently pursuing Nathan Shepard in a romantic relationship. We cannot allow Zero to become emotionally involved with Shepard. Zero is pivotal in the advancement of humanity and she cannot be compromised. Miranda is progressing in the manor which we expected her to however Oriana has been improving at a rate which is unacceptable. A transfer must be taken under serious consideration to a management team that is capable of bringing out her full potential.

Kaidan POV

Lunch

I led them to the spot that Garrus told me about. I'm surprised the instructors don't already know about this and if they do why they haven't put cameras in this area. Jack was close behind.

"Kaidan are you sure about this" Garrus whispered trying not to alert the psychotic biotic

"Not entirely Garrus. But she is suspicious" I informed. I took a glance at her. She was standing close to the exit and unconsciously took a slight defensive posture. Does she think we're gonna attack her or something.

"Jack come over" I encouraged urging her towards us. She reluctantly complied cautiously stepping towards us but still maintaining a slight gap.

"Hi there I'm Garrus Vakarian, sniper extraordinaire" he introduced

"I know who you are. The sleeping dumbass doesn't tell a story that doesn't involve you" she said. I could see the pride emanating from Garrus. I was slightly jealous that he never told any stories about me, guess he's still mad.

"Jack what we're about to tell you stays between us" I warned, she didn't react to what I said. She showed no signs of anticipation. We walked over to her, she stepped back a little preparing to either run or kill me. "It's okay, we won't hurt you. It's just… what we're saying…. We can't risk anyone finding out especially through eavesdropping" I tried to explain, sort of like trying to convince a dog to over to you. She charged her fists with biotics. "Jack, calm down" I sighed. "If you want to know then come closer otherwise we're wasting our time" I threatened. This was becoming annoying, I expected her to walk but to my surprise she dropped her guard. From what I've seen of her she doesn't care much for anyone but Nate. She's fighting her natural instincts just for one story, he must mean a lot to her.

"Nate has a condition" Garrus began "It can occur in most species, but happens most frequently in humans" he sighed "It's called Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy" Jack cocked her eyebrow

"More commonly known as Broken Heart Syndrome" I translated. "It's almost exactly the same as a heart attack and just as fatal" I continued "It happens when you experience the loss of someone very important to you and you handle it badly…. I can't go into more personal detail that's for Nate to tell" I finished

Jack looked confused for a second "If he's sick then why ain't he with the Doc" she asked

I sighed hoping that what I'm about to tell her doesn't bite Nate on the ass "Alliance has regs against certain conditions. If he told Dr Chakwas of this condition or Dr Michel, by code they would be obligated to pull Nate from AB, Soldier training and PE…. After this his family would be informed and he would be prohibited from joining the Alliance and ineligible to become a Spectre"

"Everything he'd ever dreamed of would vanish in an instant and all because of something beyond his control" Garrus said heatedly, he was getting emotional about this

"We've done research on it and realised that it could be treated like any heart attack with anti-myocardials. But this kind of CVD doesn't go away… no unless he stops blaming himself and gets into a better frame of mind. It's been 4 years since his first attack " The fact he's been dealing with this for 4 years really shows how much will power he has but also how fragile he is as well

Jack POV

These two have just told me what was wrong with the jackass. So he's pyscho like me but for different reasons. Always pegged him as a sane boring guy but it turns out we actually do have something in common

Yeah you're both fucked up but he has people who care about him in spite of it you acidic bitch. You and him are nothing alike and you know it, so don't you dare put yourself on his level. You're fucking pathetic.

Always great to here to hear that voice in my head. She's always been such a bitch but she's always been right. I'm not like any of these girls that prance around the school. I'm not Isis or Kelly or Samantha or any one of these preppies that he seems to like so much. Wait a second…. Why do I care? It's not like I like the guy, I mean he's a pussy getting so cut up over losing someone. Him and his strong arms, chiseled chest, warm… brown... eyes… Shit! I got up and ran away, I had no clue as to where I was going but my body seems to know where it's goin'.

Before I realised it I was back at the tree. Rylee, Thane and Nate were there talking. I looked at Nate and a lump formed in my throat, I couldn't speak, I couldn't make them aware as to my presence. I punched myself in the stomach. I coughed a bit trying to get my breath back. That got their attention

"Jack are you okay" Nate asked concernedly walking over to pat me on the back.

"I'm fine" I dismissed before he could touch me I looked at his lips and remembered the kiss I planted on them a few months ago. All of a sudden his taste came back and became even more tantalising. I licked my dry lips. "Let's head over there I want to talk to you" I informed. He went to grab his bag and followed me to the fountain. We both sat on the limestone edges.

"Have you got a girlfriend" I asked and he fell into the fountain. Well he mostly did before his biotics stopped him from falling all the way in

"What the… why do you… (cough) wanna know" he looked at me incredulously. Probably horrified that someone like me would ask him that.

"Because I know about your 'condition'". He looked at me with a blank expression, almost dead. He sighed and rubbed his eyes in frustration

"I guess that's why I woke up durin' lunch. Good thing Kaidan was there otherwise…. I would have been screwed" he chuckled, how the hell can he chuckle about almost dying "Thanks" I gave him a puzzled look "Since you know, that means ya saved my life" he lightly punched my arm "Now we're even". OK what the fuck is going on, is he on something, is he stoned.

"2 years ago I had a girlfriend" he began "Her name was Talitha. She was this shy, awkward, geeky girl but she was sweet. To be honest I asked her out. She was artistic, great singer, smart and funny" he said smiling nostalgically. I got a bad feeling about this.

"Was?"

"Yeah….. was" he sighed, his face hardening adopting an angry, remorseful look "I've pissed off a lot of people. Mostly Batarian, fucking slavers. During this Op I was on in training camp, me, Garrus and this Nyreen took down a slaver ring with Anderson. We spared a few." He lamented "One of the biggest mistakes of my life, shoulda killed em…. The ones we spared found out who we were. They made attempts on Garrus' father, Anderson's wife and Nyreen's mom but failed since they had military backgrounds" he was now looking down ashamed. "I was the last. I was extra protective of Rylee and my mom since they were targeting our family…. Talitha called me and said these Batarian's were after her and she was heading for her house. By the time I got there all that was left was her bag." I could feel his mood darken, this is a hurtful topic

"I spent the rest of the summer trying to track her down but couldn't find her. I even did it during the school term but found nothing. After 9 months I finally found her after Garrus' dad tracked her down" I could see him grabbing his left arm "They found traces of Batarian semen in her stomach and evidence of sexual abuse just about everywhere. She couldn't bear children after that day and she changed. She couldn't speak properly, she had amnesia and couldn't remember who I was. Any sort of physical contact made her scream. His breathing was becoming more and more ragged " 4 weeks after we found…. After we found her…" he stuttered trying to get the words out "She killed herself" he said in a whisper. He feels guilty over her death, he thinks that if he had never taken down the slaver ring or let them live, he would be living happily ever after. I think he might be having another attack. I reach over to try and snap him out of it

"Don't…. Don't worry" he reassured "I have these attacks all the time" he admitted ashamedly "These small ones aren't that bad" he was lying, I could tell that much "I haven't passed out in almost a year. But that was two years ago. Should be over it by now" he finished. 2 years I though Kaidan said they started 4 years ago. One of them is lying and judging from the expression Kaidan had on his face I think it is this asshole in front of me.

I started feeling terrible for making him go through all that. See Cerberus is right, you're a machine that causes pain and nothing else. Great job proving them right. I was about to say something when. Don't even bother, you ain't good for much just fucking and killing anything else and your useless. For once I actually chose to ignore the voice

"I'm sorry" I whispered in his ear. I turned to me and for a split second our lips were millimetres apart.

"It's not your fault"

"Yeah it is. I'm always getting pissed at people for getting in my business but I'm doing it now" I'm such a fucking hypocrite. He started chuckling

"We're friends now Jack, you have every right to ask those questions"

"Yeah right. We ain't friends"

"Jack I know you're a good person. You may hide it beneath tattoos, swearin' and attitude. It's there but no one has bothered looking for it" Nate complimented "That's why you're my friend and a good one at that".

I scoffed at the idea "If I'm so good a friend then why do I 'as you've said before' piss you off a lot" I countered

"All friends piss each other off to some degree" he smiled "How many friends have you had?" he asked. Come to think of it, I haven't had any of what my psychology books would describe as a healthy friendship in my life. That was before Thane.

He took my hands into his "Jack you are a close friend. The only people who know about my condition are you, James, Garrus, Kaidan, Nyreen and Miranda" he finished. The cheerleader knows about this, just how much of the school rides his dick.

It was only then that I realised that my tiny hands were in his huge ones. They felt callous and rough, as you'd expect from what he does, and they were warm, comfortingly so.

Wait a minute…. My hands are in his…. He's touching me….. he's. When I realised how intimate the situation was I grabbed my bag and ran. I've got nothing next period, I think I'll head home. I kept on running until I reached the gate and then I jumped over.

Nate POV

That was weird. One second we're talking and the next she's running for her life. All I did was hold her hands. Aah shit. I just realised that was the wrong thing to do, I know about her experiences and I did something that intimate. But normally she would dismiss me by telling me to fuck off or pushing me away with her biotics, she must seriously hate me to run away like a scalded dog.

On my way to resources for my free period I ran into Kaidan and Garrus. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before Garrus broke it.

"Thank the spirits you're alright" he said

"Come on, you know it takes more than that to kill me" I joked but it wasn't well received

"Nate that's the 8th attack in 4 years… you need help. As much as I care about your dream. I also care whether or not you live. Find some help or else I tell Chakwas" the Turian threatened

I became a lot less jovial after that. I knew that arguing would get us nowhere and it could be a problem for my friendship with Garrus going forward. And why would I argue knowing I'm wrong. "You're right. I need help and soon. They're getting worse" I admitted

He sighed "I'll do some more research to see how to help and I'll be around on Saturday to look for a psychologist" he ordered patting my back as he passed by. Leaving just me and Kaidan standing in the middle of the path.

It was fairly awkward considering we haven't had an actual conversation in years. I'm surprised he can even stand the sight of me. I noticed something, he was looking at me with sympathetic eyes

"Nate I never once blamed you for what happened" Kaidan reassured "I know who was at fault and I it wasn't you" he continued "I've missed being your friend Nate" he confessed.

I looked up. I thought that he hated me. Or at least could barely stand sharing the same air as me. After the incident we just drifted apart, we were both too close to the issue and that has strained my friendship. And now I have my friend back. It was stupid this was all because I was too scared to confront my fear and suspicions but at least I have one of my best friends back.