Nate POV
A week later
The holiday is finally over and it's time to head back to school. The past week has been pretty fun. Jade is smiling a lot more now, and she and Oriana have become really close. I spent the past few days playing FIFA, Galactik Football and Fade to Black with Kaidan, James, Garrus and Jacob as well as hitting the shooting range with Grunt and Javik.
The only problem now is that I lay awake in my bed awaiting the alarm to signal the start of my day. Just when I thought that the nightmares were subsiding they returned with a vengeance. This time it didn't involve Ashley, well the first one did but it was nowhere near as disturbing as the one I experienced.
I was in a pitch black room surrounded by nothing, I couldn't see, smell, or here. All I could do was feel the touch of reptilian skin slither on my skin and the cold gust of wind lacerate my arms. All of a sudden Rana Thanoptis's laugh invaded my head. It was as though a monkey was screeching in my ears. No matter how many times I turned there was nothing in sight. I was suddenly restrained by some hospital straps in mid-air. An Asari strutted in my definition, her face growing clearer. Rana stood before me, a smug smirk on her lips. The hatred I had long since buried resurfaced, I attempted to access my eezo nodules but they weren't there, I just couldn't.
"Long time no see Nathan, I hope the last few years have treated you well" she wished in sickening tone
"Aww, you look angry and here I came to play a game" she chuckled. I struggled to get free so I could throttle her
"I am going to kill you" I spat
"Does someone need a nap break" she cooed patronisingly only aggravating me further. Seeing the look on my face she began to cackle like a witch "Now let the games begin!" she clapped her hand twice like a diva.
With a puff of smoke I was surrounded tilted tables. Another puff and each table now had someone strapped on each of them. Slowly those who were strapped to the table, their faces and bodies began to mould and take shape. On each table was Jack, Rylee, Miranda, Jade, Oriana and my mum. Laying there totally unconscious, limp and lifeless.
"Now the name of the game that we are about to play" she grinned "Wait for it, wait for it…. waaaiiit for it" she tried to create suspense "Who else are you going to choose to die" she shouted like a cheesy game show host.
"Now you have six options and you have to choose which three you can save… and of course which two are going to die... and go!" she clapped and disappeared
All six potential victims awoke. Their eyes were wide with terror. Miranda's eyebrows furrowed together and her mouth was slightly agape. Jack's lips were quivering as though she was on the verge of tears. Oriana and Jade were in tears, bawling and pleading for me to choose them. My mother and Rylee remained stoic, telling me to pick the others and let them die.
The first two choices were automatic. I chose Oriana and Jade, they each ran away and far out into the darkness, claimed by my deep subconscious.
Now I can only pick one out of Miranda, Jack, My mum and Rylee. How do I decide? Rylee is my sister and I love her with all my heart, my mother has been there for me ever since I was born. How can I choose which one of them doesn't die? Jack and Miranda are some of my closest friends. Why did this have to be everyone who lives with me?
"Times up!" Rana materialised in front of me "And the winner is…. Nobody, EVERYONE DIES"
That's when I shot up awake. My shirt clung to my skin from the sweat and my breathing was ragged. I guess no matter how hard I try or how much time passes the pain never fades and the nightmares never stop.
I dragged myself to my feet and staggered out of my room. At the same time Jack and Rylee had just left their respective rooms. I gave the two of them a challenging look which they returned to me and each other. The shower is on the far side of the hallway closest to me but Rylee is faster than me. I made the break for it and was chased by Rylee and Jack. I felt myself floating in the air, I turned to see that Jack had her hand raised and was surrounded by a biotic aura. This gave Rylee the lead but Jack used her other hand to suspend Rylee into the air
"Amateurs" she scoffed "The cheerleader's harder to beat" she strolled towards the bathroom but not before poking her tongue at me.
I reached the edge of the biotic bubble I was encapsulated in and did something I saw Aria do once. I concentrated a lot of my energy and ripped a hole into the bubble and lifted Jack into the air just as she was about to get into the shower.
"Ha!" I cheered
"No fair, I'm not a biotic" Rylee pouted
"Now what jackass, we're all trapped in the air" Jack pointed out
"Yeah but since I was the first caught, mine should disappear first" I reasoned, yes I won.
"Nate you forgot one thing" Rylee informed
"What?"
"There are four of us" Miranda interjected with an arrogant smile, striding past us and entering the shower
"Amateurs" Miranda scoffed before the door closed behind her.
"What?" I complained and just then the field dissipated. I was so focused on Miranda's surprise entrance that I forgot to brace myself for the landing and fell face first. I heard footsteps walking towards me just as a shadow loomed over my head.
"You and Rylee were bad enough but now there are four of you… why are teenagers so troublesome?" she sighed before walking back into her room
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Citadel Military Institute
There was a memorial held to honour the students and members of the school faculty who had lost their lives during the invasion which was attended by the parents of the kids. There were surprisingly many over a thousand of the students are now dead. I knew a few of them not really all that well but I knew them, their faces, and their voices. And the people that care about the dead are now mourning because I wasn't fast enough. I'll do better for those who lost their lives.
I looked around and saw that a lot of the students were crying. The friends of the lost were grieving and it's likely that many of them are now homeless or orphans. I was lucky. I didn't lose a single thing and gained four new roommates. I have nothing to be sad about and I'll push any negative thoughts to the back of my mind.
The assembly had just finished and we headed for the administration table. The forms were being redistributed since a significant number of the form tutors had died protecting the Citadel. Anderson said that these forms were redone in order to make sure that the student to teacher ratio wasn't ridiculous.
Organising the names of each student by alphabetical order would have taken too long so it was segregated by race. I sauntered over to the human section with Sam, Rylee, James and Jacob since our last names were in close proximity. I really don't want to have to change forms. I liked my old one even though it won't entirely be the same.
James opened his envelope "I'm still in the same form" he announced
"I've been moved to Wrex's" Jacob informed
"Me too…" Sam said
I peered over Rylee's envelope
Rylee-Jane Karin Shepard
You have been transferred from the form of Matriarch Benezia T'Soni to the Form of Urdnot Wrex. Matriarch T'Soni was injured during recent events, we are glad to inform you that she is recovering well. Due to the unfortunate circumstances her form is being distributed.
Your schedule remains unchanged however for the next week there will be no practical lessons because of damage caused to EDI the Institute's VI
Yours Sincerely
Principal Anderson
Oh my God! How come Liara has never mentioned that something had happened to her mother, she's been to my house a bunch of times. How come she failed to mention it even once? I'vegot to talk to her about this soon.
"I'm in Wrex's form too" Rylee cheered hugging Samantha
I decided that now I should probably open my letter
I opened the envelope hoping that I would be staying in the same form
Nathaniel John Eric Shepard
We are glad to inform you that you will be remaining in Urdnot Wrex's form. Your form has been rearranged in order to compensate for the massive loss of life so a lot of you tutor group will have changed.
Your schedule remains unchanged however for the next week there will be no practical lessons because of damage caused to EDI the Institute's VI
Yours Sincerely
Principal Anderson
"Yes! I'm still in Wrex's Form!" I sighed.
"Wait a minute… so we're all in the same form… beyond coincidental" Sam said sceptically
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Urdnot Wrex's Form
I strolled into the room and was shocked by what I saw. Not only were those I was with in Wrex's form but so were a whole load of people. Grunt, Thane, Kelly, Javik, Liara, Kasumi, Aria, Nyreen, Morinth, Garrus, Thane, Kaidan, Tali, Jack and Miranda sat there in the middle of the room. As well as Tarquin, Bray, Anto, Reager, Jenna and Rita.
"Look what the cat dragged in" Aria mocked
"Funny Aria, almost as funny as losing hide and seek to a bunch of kids" Rylee retaliated
"Want to say that again Shepard" a biotic aura encapsulated Aria
"How's about dealing with me" I suggested taking a defensive stance
"Why can't we have a single form time without an argument" Liara sighed rubbing her forehead
"Why do you always shy away from conflict Asari" Javik accused "Without conflict nothing struggles, nothing grows. It is a static mode of existence" the Prothean argued
"Yeah but without conflict we all get to live another day" Garrus countered
"You have a good grasp of war Turian. You would be a far better marksman with four eyes" Javik teased. He can be pretty funny when he wants to be. Too bad that's not very often.
I started laughing. I guess this form will be a lot more entertaining than the previous one. Miranda and Kaidan were sitting by the window talking about something or another. Garrus and Grunt were having an arm wrestling contest which Grunt was surprisingly having trouble with. Rylee was reading something on a data pad but her eyes constantly looked back at the drell who couldn't take his eyes off of her.
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Resources Room 9:30
Since EDI was still offline all practical subjects have been cut off so I'm going to be spending a lot of time here for the remainder of the week. Garrus, Thane and Javik were in the far corner of the Resources room looking for some school books. Rylee and Miranda were testing each other on the anatomy of various races. Whilst Kaidan, Liara, Jack and I just sat in the corner trying to find something to do with ourselves.
I was playing Shattered Eezo on my omni-tool. I was playing online so I could play against Kaidan and was losing.
"You SUCK" I taunted in spite of my losing position
"Sound like a sore loser Shepard" he retorted
"Sound like a bitch Kaidan" I replied
"And…." He pressed the super punch button causing my Mech to explode "You lost… like a bitch" he laughed
Jack had taken out a knife from her boot and started throwing it up and down as though it were a ball, always catching it by the hilt, always millimetres from her face.
Liara was avoiding looking at me and has been unable to look at me for the past number of weeks. She's always uncomfortable around me and she's barely spoken two words to me. Does she not like me anymore? Or could it be something else.
"Liara… What the fuck?"
She looked slightly shocked and hurt and I immediately regretted being that crass. Her eye's started to water slightly and her lip quivered
"Nate, what the hell?" Kaidan defended the Asari
"I don't know Kaidan but I just want to ask Liara something?" I turned to the 'young' asari "What's the matter. You're acting like you did months ago when we weren't friends" I accused
"Why?" I couldn't hide the hurt from my voice.
She started crying, dropping her face into the palms of her hand, gently sobbing and sniffing. I am such an asshole. I could've at least tried to be gentler with it. She raised her head to look at me and then Kaidan
"Kaidan, Nathan…. I'm so sorry" she apologised but for what was a mystery
"You haven't done anything wrong Liara" Kaidan comforted
"It's for what happened all those years ago" she said
"Come on Liara you're not making any sort of sense" I tried to console her
Garrus must have seen Liara from a distance and returned with a concerned expression. I've been around the Turian sniper for long enough to recognise facial expressions as well as body language.
"What's going on here" he asked
"Garrus you too… there's something I need to tell you" Liara is really starting to worry me
"Remember that story you told us about Ashley's death…. I was with you… that Asari was me"
"What?" Kaidan and Garrus responded simultaneously.
I didn't even realise what I was doing until I was out of the room. On instinct my legs carried me out of the into the hallway and away from Liara, Jack, Garrus and Kaidan. I don't know why I left but I did. I couldn't feel anything. Not the dull sting of numbness you feel when you're limb is paralysed. But nothing, I just felt nothing. I had slid down the wall's usually cold unrelenting steel and sat leaning against it
"Dumbass" Jack greeted. She had followed me out of the room and slid down the wall in a similar manner to mine
"Jack" I acknowledged
"You left blue crying back there normally that would have been awesome… but for some reason it sucked" she admitted
"I figured she'd be devastated… I don't know it's just… my legs started moving on their own" I rubbed my eyes
"I know the feeling" she related
"I just… why did she wait so long to tell me"
"Maybe she thought you'd hate her" she guessed.
"I could never hate Liara" I defended "Ashley… she said that she liked her Asari roommate"
"Is there something you want to talk about?" she asked. I turned to her and cocked an eyebrow. To which she turned away from me, the outline of a blush on her cheeks. I never thought that Jack would express any sort of interest in Ashley.
"I guess Aethyta did say that I should tell my closest friends" I relented.
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Saturday 16th July 2185
Everyone is so damn sad that my dad is dead, my mum is in tears, these friends I'd never seen are coming out of the woodwork, politicians and reporters are fighting for the spotlight. And as I overlooked the stunning forest a thought occurred to me.
How did I feel?
I started picking up rocks with my biotics and throwing them over the cliff into the forest. I didn't care for the animals or wildlife I may have been hurting. I just wanted to launch them over the cliff. As I did threw the rocks into the safari I started to feel as though someone was taking weights off of my shoulders. The harder and more frequently I did it the better I felt afterward.
There was this really big rock nearby the wall which led back up to the party. I knew I couldn't do this casually so I braced myself. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't even get the rock moving at best I made it glow. I began to get really frustrated by my inability to throw this rock.
I walked to the cliffs edge and eyed the abyss of lush green trees and darkness. It looked strangely comforting from where I stood but I remained focused on the task at hand. I turned and ran towards the rock at speed before concentrating my biotic power into my fist. When the punch connected with the rock nothing happened beside the bones in my hand cracking.
I stifled the roar in pain. The hurt that was placed on my fist was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was like a dog was mangling my hand whilst someone dropped salt all over the cuts.
But strangely it didn't deter me from hitting the rock. If anything it pissed me off. I shock waved the rock to see if it would break it to pieces but nothing happened. Well a crack did form. I ran back to the cliffs edge.
I remembered when my dad took me here to just talk and hang out. We laughed, we joked. He even took me down to the forest and went camping, just the two of us. The other instructors weren't all that happy about it but he didn't care.
This feeling of anger and pent up rage started accumulating. The more I thought of my time with my dad the more it began to build until it was uncontrollable. I didn't know what to do, I wanted to scream and shout as a way to alleviate this fury. I stared at the rock, my eyes became slits as I accessed all of my Eezo nodules. I don't remember exactly what I did but I found that my body was moving towards the rock. I had somehow jumped and was on a collision course for the rock. I braced myself for impact landing in a pile.
I was surprised to see that I wasn't even harmed in the least. Instead I was lying over a pile of rubble.
"NATE" a familiar voice yelled.
Ashley ran over to me in order to inspect my injuries. To my surprise there weren't any. I just lying there on top of the pile rather uncomfortably waiting to be propped up into a more comfortable position.
"What the hell did you just do Nate?" she asked worriedly
"I don't know what I did, I just let my emotions get the better of me" I reasoned
"It was a little scary to see you throwing those rocks around"
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough to know that you're upset" she sat beside me on the rubble "What's wrong Nate?" her eyes conveyed a sense of longing
It took me a while to think about what was bothering me so much. It was always there at the front of my mind but I refused to acknowledge it but it was clearly affecting my mental state of mind.
"Everyone is so sad that my father is dead…. But me" I confessed. "I'm not in the least bit sad that he is gone. I don't feel anything for him, no contempt, no scorn, no sadness, no grief, no… love" admitting that was the hardest thing that I've ever had to do.
"You don't believe that Nate" she assured patting me on my back
"I'm seeing all of these people I've never met telling me that my father was a great man. These people claiming to be some of his closest friends are mourning his death… why didn't I meet them, why didn't my father ever tell me about Garrus' dad. Mordin, Zaeed, Wrex, Aleena, Samara, and Rael. I wouldn't have even met Garrus' dad if it wasn't for Garrus…. Why did my father keep them from me… was I not good enough?"
"Nate… no… no one could ever think that you're not good enough… especially your father" she replied rather nervously
"I don't give a damn about him!" I snapped, I don't know what came over me
"He was never there for me, Rylee or my mum. He always thought that running around playing the hero was more important than being with your family" I cussed letting my frustration
"He missed every one of my birthdays from my 7th to my 13th and will miss my 14th this year. He was always off in space doing shit I don't even know about and will likely never know about so why the fuck should I care he's dead"
She punched me, square on the jaw. "What the fuck is wrong with you. You might be hurting but do NOT! Spit on the dead" she ordered
"I'm not spitting on the dead Ashley I'm just saying what I should have said to him for all of these years. He's gone and there's nothing I can do about it. My mother is in tears, fucking tears because he's gone. My sister is showing signs of clinical depression. They're both totally devastated and he expects me to keep them from falling apart. He expects me to take care of them. Tell me… how can I save them?" I was losing steam as my rant carried on before allowing myself to fall back. I slid off of the pile onto the soft grass.
"How can I protect the most important people in my life" I asked not expecting an answer
"How can I keep them from falling apart….. if I can't even keep myself together" I whispered.
That was the question banging in my head from the moment that my mother broke into tears. The moment Rylee went into shock. The moment the news broke across the galaxy. The moment that I realised it would all fall to me
Ashley looked slightly uncomfortable. She was never all that good at consoling people or telling them it would be alright. It's so selfish of me to burden her with this. I should just deal with it myself. No one else should shoulder this burden aside from me.
"I don't know" she replied staring me in my eyes "But if anyone can figure it out it's you" it sounded so awkward, her saying those words. But I knew her, that must have been extremely difficult for her to say that.
"You don't hate you're father Nate. You're scared. You don't know what to do and I don't blame you" she stated
"I'm not scared… I… "
"The fact that you're so conflicted show's how much you do care Nate" she explained. I gave her a questioning look so she could clarify what she just said "I saw how you looked at your father Nate. You loved him. You're hurt that he's gone and I doubt that you've even fully processed the fact that he's gone. That's why you try to hate him. You find hate easier to deal with than grief"
I…I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Were I told this by someone else then I would have dismissed it as bullshit. But coming from her it actually made sense. I'm not sure if I fully believed her but it made sense.
She managed to fight all of her natural instincts so that she could comfort me and tell me that everything would be alright. She must really like me.
I've been going out with her for two years and I haven't been happier. We fight, we kiss, we hug, we cuddle, we laugh we do everything you'd expect from a couple our age. We've even had sex but this moment made me realise something very important.
She was willing to do anything to make me happy or see me smile. She was willing to put herself in a position that scared her and be supportive of me and be the pillar I needed. She didn't judge me, she wasn't two faced and she could kick my ass. To me she was perfect and that's why.
I moved my lips towards hers and placed a tender kiss on the top of her lips. She returned the kiss matching my tenderness, not trying to force anything, we just found a rhythm that we were comfortable with and remained there. Static, alone, peaceful, comfortable. Perfect.
I pulled away and looked her in the eye "I just realised something Ash… I love you" I confessed.
She was paralysed for a second. Her eyes were wide from shock, her lips slightly parted and her body stiffened. When she finally regained control of her bearings she jumped on me. Her lips crashed onto mine, her hunger for me was clear from the off and I matched her fire. She opened her mouth a little enabling me to slip my tongue into her mouth. Our tongues danced with each other a dance like never before seen.
She was the first of us to break. Breathing heavy with a stunning smile gracing her lips "I love you too" she confessed
"ASHLEY WHERE ARE YOU! YOUR'E MOTHER IS LOOKING FOR YOU!" I heard an unfamiliar voice calling for my girlfriend
"Who's that?"
"My roommate. She's pretty cool albeit shy"
"Let's head back before they start looking for me" I advised and we returned to the party.
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Back to present
Jack looked slightly hurt by what I had just told her. I don't really blame her, if someone I liked had just told me about how they were madly in love with her ex and that's why I couldn't have her. It would hurt me too.
"I met Liara a week later but we didn't become friends until a couple of months ago" I explained running my fingers over my eyes.
"So… why did you walk out?" Jack asked. That was a damn good question. But one I didn't have an answer to. I just acted on instinct and did what my body told me to do.
"I don't know"
"Maybe it's because it made you think about Ashley" Jack theorised "I doubt that you've thought about her much and Liara's link to her may have been enough to trigger that response" she guessed
"I hate it when you Psychoanalyse me you know that" I retorted
"Then maybe you shouldn't be so fucking easy to read" she countered. I mimicked what she said except in a more patronising, childish tone.
"Shithead" she cursed under her breath to which I laughed
I decided to head back into the resources room so that I could talk to Liara. She was still crying only this time Kaidan and Garrus were looking grim. They're body languages were similar, stiff, sad, guilty. I took up a seat that was opposite to the three of them but they refused to look me in the eye. The survivors of Virmire all sat in this corner and couldn't even look each other in the eye.
"What's wrong guys?"
"We're Sorry" they each apologised at the same time
"Nate it's my fault that Ash is dead" Kaidan lamented "If I'd just timed my jump a little better….. then me and Garrus could've… then maybe Ash would still be alive" Kaidan admitted looking away from me "Her death is my fault Nate"
"No it isn't Kaidan… if it's anyones fault it's Rana's" I tried to reassure the distraught biotic
"It's not just that" he said looking me in the eye the sorrow evident in his facial expression
"When you had your first major attack" he sighed "When you passed out on the first day of school after Ash's death…. I should have been there for you" he regretted
"Garrus put aside his guilt in order to be there for you. I couldn't and because of that you almost died. I didn't feel like I deserved forgiveness and I spent a long time trying to get past it. I'm still not over it…. but I know that Ash wouldn't want us to be as we have been for the past four years" he poured out his heart and said everything he felt he needed to say
"I've told myself that it's not my fault ever since that day but…. It's still tough to sleep some nights" Garrus commented "The reason I've been trying so hard to help you is selfish. Don't get me wrong Nate I want you to get better because I'm your friend and care about you" he began
"But I've been doing it as a means of redemption" Garrus admitted sounding ashamed "I'm trying to alleviate some of the guilt. You chose to save me over someone you loved Nate… I can never repay what you did and that's why I'll stand by you no matter what" he asserted
"Although Ashley and I only knew each other a short period of time, I grew to care for her very much. She was the first not to care that my mother was Matriarch Benezia. She always saw me as Liara T'Soni not Benezia's daughter" she sobbed "And the thought that such a good person, a woman far younger than I sacrificed her life in order for me to live. Simply because I wasn't good enough to notice someone sneaking up behind me." The emotion grew as she spoke
"I saw the look on your face when you saw her body. How you fell to your knees with that blank vacant expression on your face. When you threw up in the bush. When the tears started to fall. I just couldn't tell you… that I was one of the reasons you were ever like that" the asari explained
"We're sorry that you chose us to live" they said simultaneously
Looks like I wasn't the only one suffering but the difference is that I was feeling sorry for myself. They felt sorry for me; they felt sympathy for my situation. They wanted my forgiveness. They shouldn't even have to ask. I never blamed any of them for a second and never would have blamed Liara for it even if she had told me before we were friends.
"You guys…. I don't know if there's anything I can say to alleviate your guilt but I'll give it a shot" I began
"It wasn't your fault, any of you. I made the right choice in saving the city despite the fact I fucked myself over in doing so. If I'd chosen Ash then I would be grieving for the losses of your lives along with Ashley I mean Kaidan. If you'd died I don't think Ashley would ever have forgiven herself or me."
"I fulfilled her last wish and she died a hero. She was a soldier through and through. Which was one of the reasons that I loved her. If you guys really want to allay your guilt then remember that I did what Ashley wanted and what I want is for you to forgive yourselves" I finished
Liara appeared to be touched by what I said but Kaidan and Garrus still looked unsure. I guess they would need some time to think on what I've just said. In all of this emotional turmoil it totally escaped me that Jack was sitting there with us. Uncharacteristically quiet and observing the scene that unfolded before her. Her face was a vacant, and blank. She didn't appear to care about what was going on in front of her and seemed completely indifferent to us.
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That Night
Jack didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Any sort of conversation I attempted to start just ended. She didn't shut me down or something along those lines. She just didn't speak, she would stare at me through unsure eyes and turn to face away from me. I'm not sure why it bothered me so much that she wasn't talking to me.
I wanted to know just what was going on and had spent the past hour building up the nerve to do what I was about to do. I was going to enter Jack's room so that I could talk to her and she wouldn't be able to get out of it.
I was genuinely considering bringing a shield generator with me just in case that this gets ugly and I need some protection but against my better judgement I thought that it wouldn't be worth it. Man I hope that my instincts are right.
I used the override code and stepped into Jacks room. She hadn't unpacked. Her clothes were all in the small suitcase she brought with her and the clothes she wore were spread chaotically on the bedroom floor. She was once again throwing a knife up and down in the air only this time the knife was perched over her abdomen.
She had noticed me from the corner of her eye but didn't look phased. She was still ignoring me again only this time it was in an area I assumed that anyone who had been in here with her never walked out alive.
"You have 1 warning GET OUT" she threatened. Is it weird that I'm happy that she's kicking me out? At least she's not ignoring me
I took a quick look around her room. That black ledger which I had seen in her 'prison cell' that had contained a litany of her poetry was on top of the computer desk. Words which conveyed such pain and suffering that it saddened even me.
She caught me eyeing the book up and stood up "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" she said menacingly
I raised my hands in defence. "Nothing… but since you don't want to talk in your room. How's about you come to mine" I suggested
She raised an eyebrow "If you wanna do it just say so. We can do it in here, in the hallway wherever" she stated.
I was thrown off balance a little and I felt blood rush to my cheeks "What?"
Jack fell to the floor laughing, holding her sides "You should see the look on your face. I was just yanking your chain" she chuckled
"Let's just stay in here then" I suggested. She merely shrugged so I sat beside her on the bed. Looking at her up close I was reminded about just how beautiful she was. High cheekbones, rouge, full, pouty, lips. Warm brown, inviting eyes and with her hair now growing she looked stunning.
"So what do you want?" she asked
"Why have you gone all quiet on me. This is the first time we spoke since I told you about Ashley" I accused. I didn't mean to sound accusatory but my emotions got the better of me
"Why do you care?"
"Because we're friends Jack"
"But why are you my friend?" she pleaded. She sounded genuinely upset by what I'd just said. But why would she be upset.
"Do you not want me to be your friend Jack?"
"YES! NO! Y…. I don't know" she was conflicted but once again I don't know why "You've told me all of this personal shit like I'm supposed to have answers…. I don't know what to do…. It's all so knew to me" she lost her voice towards the end of her tirade
"Jack I wouldn't have told about anything if you weren't my friend" I assured. She got real quiet for a second
"I've never had a friend before… I know that it's sad considering I'm almost 16" she sounded ashamed by her confession. She has been so lonely throughout her entire life. I doubt she was allowed to leave her house often and I can only imagine what Cerberus has done to her during her childhood. Her isolation wasn't her choice and I'll bet she regrets not having a normal childhood with friends and parents.
"I'm your friend now Jack and that's all that matters. Garrus is your friend too, Liara, Grunt, Tali, Thane, Jacob, James, Kasumi, Kelly, Samantha, Javik, Kaidan and Rylee" I listed off "Even Miranda, if you gave each other a chance then maybe the two of you could get along"
She just sat there staring at the ground hiding her face from my view. I couldn't tell what she was feeling, or thinking but I could tell that she was in deep thought.
"You've told me a bunch of personal shit. So I think it's only fair if I tell you something personal"
"It doesn't work like that Jack. You don't owe me anything. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to"
"Yeah but I want to" she asserted. I gave her a slight nod
"Tell anyone what I'm about to say and I will kill… slowly. You understand" she threatened. I nodded again as a signal for her to start talking
"Jack isn't my real name or Jacqueline or whatever I told the school" she started "My real first name is…. Jennifer. It was written in one of my books" she confessed
"If it's you're real first name then why do you tell people it's Jack?"
"Because Jennifer is dead" she hissed "She died when I entered that place" she said ominously referring to Henry's mansion.
"Jennifer…. I like it"
"Yeah yeah just don't start spreading it around"
"Relax this is between you and me"
"Cool. Now get out! I need some shuteye" she instructed. I responded with a quiet chuckle.
I strolled over to the door to leave. "Goodnight Miss Jackie" I teased. She threw a pillow straight at my head but I ducked just in time.
"Sorry what I meant was… Goodnight Jennifer" I said in a much more earnest tone.