"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
Our string of character-focused entries continues this week with Katie, who is going where no Fireside Girl has succeeded before! Meanwhile, the B-story follows up on the season premiere episode... and you know what that means!
Sit back and enjoy, folks!
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' belong to Disney.
Prerequisite (i.e. read that first before reading this):
- Entry #426 ("Fireside Diaries," Episode 401)
On a chilly fall day, the members of Fireside Girls Troop 46231 were sitting in the cafeteria for lunch. Usually, they would be eating more than they were talking with each other. Today, though, it was the other way around.
"I'm thinking about going for a Pony Express Patch," Gretchen stated aloud.
"Is getting a Virtual Millionaire Patch tough?" asked Ginger.
"No way am I doing anything involving stuffing animals," muttered Milly.
Entry #470 - Written by Katie
The weather's getting colder and colder, which means everyone in our troop is in a mad scramble to earn any last outdoor activity patches before they become unavailable for the winter. And I am no exception!
While everyone else seemed to be openly stating their intentions aloud to the group, Katie, on the other hand, was remaining silent and hiding behind the Fireside Girls' handbook.
That is... if I can figure out what patch to go after.
"Let's see..." she said as she flipped through the book. "Hmmmm..."
She was still looking through it in class, hiding it behind her English grammar book...
...and in the hallway after school, while she got her things from her locker...
...and on the bus ride home...
...and while walking with the others to their secret clubhouse in the woods...
...and she was still going through it during an impromptu meeting. Not that Isabella and the others seemed to mind. Or notice, even though the seven girls were sitting in a circle.
"Let's see..." she mumbled, "the Help Thy Neighbor Patch, the Quantum Conundrum Patch, the You Think Too Much Patch..."
And then, like a moth, no, wait, a bee, yeah a bee, takes to honey, I found a patch that I wanted to get.
"I'VE GOT IT!" she yelled, at the top of her lungs.
Of course, her loud declaration immediately got everyone else's attention, ending any conversation they might have been in the middle of.
"Got what, Katie?" questioned Isabella.
"I know what I'm going to do today!" she proudly declared.
"Huh. Well, if it's getting the Borrow a Catch Phrase Patch, then congratulations."
"No! Patch 2432! I wanna get Patch 2432!"
Everyone else in the room gasped in shock. Then, after a few seconds...
"Wait..." the others said simultaneously. "What's Patch 2432?"
-
Entry #470 [FSD405] - Patch 2432 (07.08.13)
-
So now that I had a patch I could go after, I had to explain to the others what getting that patch required of me.
But first, they had to get the patch number right.
"So you wanna do Patch 2324, the Ship Yourself to New South Wales Patch?" queried Gretchen, who had already built a kid-size crate postmarked for Australia.
"I think she meant Patch 3224," remarked Adyson, who was holding up a drawing of herself thinking of a chili dog while time traveling. "The '90s Reference Patch, right?"
"Obviously," cut in Holly, in a deep, gruff, manly voice, "Katie is talking about Patch 4223."
"EEP!" squeaked Milly, pointing at Holly in fright. "The Puberty Voice Change Patch!"
"I have laryngitis."
Milly started shaking her. "YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO GROW UP!"
"Calm down, girls," interjected their fearless leader, Isabella. "And by girls I mean Milly..."
"Sorry," the curly-haired girl hastily apologized, before letting go of Holly.
"Now. Katie, may I?"
Katie nodded as she handed Isabella the handbook. The others gathered around, hoping to get a peek at what Patch 2432 was. But when they saw the description, all their faces went white.
"2432? You sure?"
Katie nodded. Again, the others read the description.
"Is that really what that patch is?" wondered Adyson, as if she refused to believe it. "How come this is the first I've heard of this particular patch?"
"No clue," Isabella replied. "But I have heard stories about the 'Curse of Patch 2432.'"
"The 'Curse of Patch 2432?'" repeated Katie.
"The 'Curse of Patch 2432!'" exclaimed the other five girls.
Isabella turned around to face the girls so she could explain.
"Well, there's a rumor that Patch 2432 is legendary... because no one has ever earned it. The story goes that it was introduced 40 or so years ago, and that every single Fireside Girl that has ever attempted to get it not only failed, but subsequently left their troops soon thereafter, never earning another patch of any kind... FOREVER!"
"Yeah, right," growled Ginger. "A little late on the story, aren't we?"
"But it's true! 469 Fireside Girls have attempted to earn Patch 2432, and Katie, if you try... you'll be number 470!"
Katie smirked, lowering her goggles over her eyes. "I like those odds."
Milly raised a hand to dispute that, and ask where she had suddenly gotten goggles from, but Holly stopped her with a simple shake of the head.
"I'm not like the others. Isabella, you may be too scared to try it..."
Isabella cut in, raising her hand. "Um, for the record, I'm not scared. I... I just don't know if I could live with failing and having to leave the Fireside Girls."
"Oh. So Isabella's too... something... to try it. But not I, says I! I will get Patch 2432, even if it's the last thing I do!"
As a Fireside Girl. Just wanted to put that out there in case people thought...
Let's just move on...
An hour later, at the Olde Malt Shoppe - which was just recently built but designed to look as if it was constructed in the 1950s - Katie and Isabella were walking away from the counter after having paid for five strawberry-flavored milkshakes. They walked over to a table where Milly, Ginger, and Adyson were already sitting at, on the outdoor patio. Once all the shakes were passed out, they took a few seconds to take in the fresh air and sip at their drinks before getting back to business.
"Now," Isabella started off, looking at Katie, "are you absolutely, ABSOLUTELY sure..."
"For the 50th time, YES!"
Katie threw her hands up in frustration.
"It's like you don't have any faith in me, Isabella!"
Milly interjected. "Yes, Katie, Isabella's got no faith in you."
"Milly!" snapped the Jewish girl.
"Sorry!"
Ginger put in her two cents. "On the one hand, the failure rate IS 100 percent AND no less than two people will come out of this embarrassed. But on the other, it's gonna be a load of laughs for the rest of us, am I right? HA HA HA!"
Isabella, Milly, and Katie all gave her odd looks.
"Am I right? Girls?"
Still no change on their faces. Ginger started gently elbowing Adyson.
"Adyson, help me out here. Adyson?"
But Adyson was busy doing something else. She was sitting backwards in her chair and had a pair of binoculars held up at eye level. She seemed to be looking across the street and down a couple stores. The others followed her line of sight and instantly saw who was stealing her attention.
Baljeet.
"There he is, making another trip home from the bookstore."
They could all see the brown paper bag he was clutching tightly to his chest, but only Adyson, thanks to the binoculars, could see the books sticking out of the top.
"I know I'm busy a lot with presidential stuff, but, you know, he could tag along once in a while instead of just going off, burying himself in books. What does he see in those books that he doesn't see in me?"
She lowered her binoculars and turned around; she was promptly greeted by Ginger, who was in her face and was glaring at her.
"Uh..."
Isabella was about to get up and separate them, but there was no need. Ginger turned away on her own, taking deep, calming breaths and mumbling in between them.
"You promised... it's over... you promised... it's over..."
I think Ginger's still, you know... though she's trying so hard not to be...
All eyes were on Ginger, who kept repeating those two phrases, until...
"HEY!" shouted Katie, getting an idea. "What about using Baljeet?"
"TOUCH HIM AND WE'RE SO NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!" yelled Adyson and Ginger, in unison.
"Wow," mumbled Isabella. "Awkward."
"I mean," Ginger corrected herself, "not that I care. Baljeet's a boy. That I'm not into anymore. I have to accept that. I have to accept that."
Isabella turned to look at Katie.
"Anyway... Katie, perhaps someone else?"
Katie thought for a minute.
"How about, uh, Ballpit Kid? Or maybe Pogo Stick Kid? Ooh, ooh... let's ask Bounce House Boy!"
"Um, I'm pretty sure they're all the same person."
"Wait! How about Phin-"
"No."
"But..."
"No."
"Isabella!"
"Still no!"
Milly piped in. "How about Baljeet?"
"But Adyson and Ginger shot him down already," Katie reminded her.
"I know, I know! But... Baljeet's right there. Or, rather, a couple of blocks away. But still, it's a moment of opportunity! Who knows how long it'll take to find another boy? You've got jump on the mouse and take it by the horns, Katie!"
"Milly? I totally agree! I think."
She then glanced over to Adyson and Ginger, seeking their approval.
"Fine," relented Adyson, "but only if I get to tag along to make sure you don't go too far. He's my boyfriend, after all."
"If she's going," declared Ginger, "then I am too, for the exact same reason! Th-the going too far part, not the boyfriend... part."
"I think we should all go," Isabella decided, putting a comforting hand on Katie's shoulder. "For moral support."
"Thanks, you all," Katie said, in gratitude. "Let's go get me a patch!"
The five girls all downed what remained of their shakes, left the glasses on the table, and ran after Baljeet.
If only getting Patch 2432 was as easy as just wanting it...
The group had followed Baljeet to the Googolplex Mall. They tailed him to the Food Court, where he emptied the books out of his bag. He then opened the largest of the bunch and started reading it. The girls all sat around a table five away from his, using other people around to hide their presence.
"That's a first," Isabella noted. "He reads here instead of at home. Never knew that."
"Okay," Katie said, taking a deep breath. "I'm going in."
They all waited for her to get up and head over to Baljeet's table. But she just continued to sit there.
"Uh..."
"I just remembered Buford! That's why Baljeet's here! He's probably meeting up with him any minute!"
"No worries," Ginger said, in assurance.
The Japanese girl pulled out a printed schedule and showed it to the others.
"Friday, 4:30 to 6, free time. See? Buford has certain times which he says he WON'T be around Baljeet."
Adyson scoffed. "You need a schedule to know when to be around Baljeet?"
"Unlike some people, I don't have girlfriend privileges."
"Also, 'free' is misspelled."
"That is on Buford."
"Enough, you two!" snapped Isabella. "Katie, if you please?"
Katie nodded. This time, she did get out of her seat and she started making her way over to Baljeet.
Just be cool, Katie. Just be cool. Just walk up to him... and do it!
Katie sneaked around, using cover to hide herself from Baljeet. She hid behind people, under tables, and within a plastic plant. Baljeet did not sense her approaching.
That was until she got bold and appeared right behind him.
"You know, it is not stealth if I can feel you breathing on me!"
Katie froze as Baljeet turned around to look at her.
"If you need something, Katie, all you have to do is ask."
Doing it behind his back was now out of the question! Now I had to ask him if I could... now I had to ask him if I could...
Katie ran back to the others, without saying a word to Baljeet.
I couldn't do it!
Katie was seen crying in the arms of Milly, who comfortingly patted her on the back.
"It's okay! We'll just find someone else."
The blonde nodded.
"Hey!"
The girls looked over at Buford, who had come to their table. He was pulling a red wagon behind him, and in it was a cast iron block and other molding materials.
"Say, Katie... you grew a half-inch since last week, right?"
Katie pulled away from Milly long enough to nod at Buford.
"Good to know," he said with a smirk.
He then left, leaving the girls flabbergasted.
"And you thought I was kidding about 'he has molds of everyone,'" Isabella said.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?"
They all turned their attention away from Buford and focused on Baljeet, who was suspicious of what they were all doing here. Or, specifically, what Katie was up to.
"I am trying to read! Although I am flattered that you wish to watch me partake in Italian architecture, I do want to know what you are up to."
Isabella started whistling, while the others looked away.
"Adyson."
"Huh?"
"Surely you will tell me what is going on. You are my girlfriend."
Ginger suddenly stood up, and without saying a word, she bolted for the restroom. A few seconds later, a loud, angry scream came from that direction. Shortly thereafter, a calm Ginger returned, taking her seat and motioned for everyone to continue as if nothing had happened.
"Ahem, Adyson?" Baljeet prompted once more.
Adyson was sweating nervously as she tugged at the collar of her shirt. She opened her mouth, about to spill everything because she felt obligated to.
"Baljeet, wait!" exclaimed Katie. "I'll tell you."
Katie dried her tears with the back of her sleeve, and then she leaned over to whisper something into Baljeet's ear. His eyes widened.
"WHAT?"
The blonde girl jumped back in fright. Baljeet was not happy with what he had just heard.
"You are telling me there is a patch for THAT? And yet, you STILL want it?"
Katie paused momentarily, then nodded in acknowledgement.
"That kind of behavior comes naturally to a bully like Buford. But a Fireside Girl? You should be heading home and hanging some shame curtains, Katie."
He then looked at the others.
"In fact, you all should for encouraging her!"
With that, Baljeet huffed and started walking back to his table.
"Baljeet, wait!" shouted Adyson, who got up and went after him.
Katie had a sad look on her face. She had never received a scowling from someone as mild-mannered as Baljeet. And even worse, she had nothing to show for embarrassing herself.
Back at the lodge, Katie was still sulking over her failure to get Patch 2432. She was attempting to hide her sadness, as well as her fear that she would have to quit the Fireside Girls in shame, by random flipping through the handbook. Isabella, Milly, and Ginger looked on from afar, all at a loss of words to cheer her up.
"What do we do?"
"You should talk to her. You're the leader."
"But I don't know what to say!"
At that moment, I was ready to accept the fate of the curse. I was ready to go change out of my uniform and hand over my sash.
And then...
"EUREKA!"
Katie suddenly perked up, having found something in the handbook that might save her. The others went over to her, led by Isabella, who followed Katie's finger to a typo in the description of the patch. The word 'boy's'' was the point of contention.
"There are two apostrophes! I must've been covering up the second one when I handed it to you! Isabella!"
"On it!" she shouted, already on the computer.
They all gathered around their leader, who was pulling up the online version of the handbook.
"The digital version is always up-to-date. I just have to find the entry for that patch."
She did in a hurry, and they saw which apostrophe was the typo.
"It's boys', not boy's!" Katie shouted with glee. "It's boys', not boy's! IT'S BOYS', NOT BOY'S!"
So, thanks to catching a typo that hadn't been caught in the written version of the handbook for years, I broke the 'Curse of Patch 2432!'
Katie returned 20 minutes later, having purchased something from a nearby store. Isabella, Milly, and Ginger were outside by the flagpole, eager to watch their fellow Fireside Girl earn her patch.
"Go for it, Katie!" shouted Isabella, with encouragement.
The blonde-haired girl nodded and then went to work. She first had to pull down the Fireside Girls' flag, which she did rather quickly. Once it was down, she folded it up neatly and handed it to Isabella, who gladly held it. The trio then watched as Katie ripped open the package she had just gotten and pulled out an item from it. They stifled giggles and guffaws as Katie tied it to the rope, intending to fly it for the rest of the day instead of the flag.
Moments later, she raised the item up to the top of the flagpole. Once it was there, she knotted the rope at the bottom to hold it in place, and then she stepped back to admire her work.
Because now flapping in the wind in front of the troop's headquarters was a pair of never-worn boys' underwear. Ginger and Milly cheered loudly for Katie as Isabella read from the handbook to confirm the task had been completed correctly.
"'Established during the Great Prank War, Patch 2432 is awarded to any Fireside Girl who could obtain boys' underwear and fly it from the member's troop's flagpole. Back when it was first created, it was a reward for any Fireside Girl who could rip the underwear from an actual boy and THEN fly it from the flagpole.'"
She closed the book and continued her explanation.
"According to the online addendum, such an act was against the founding principles of the Fireside Girls, and thus was one of many pranks on boys that were banned after the war. Apparently, putting glue on glue sticks and replacing the chocolate milk in milk cartons with apple juice could earn you patches back in the day. Go figure. Anyway, although pranking acts such as underwear snatching were banned, the patch itself was NEVER retired or decommissioned."
"Which meant that not only did the previous 469 girls who attempted it were all post-GPW, but that they followed the original interpretation of the requirements," deduced Ginger.
"That means 469 boys over the past four decades probably had girls who tried to rip off their... wow."
Cries of 'ick,' 'gross,' and 'unsanitary' came from the others.
"And I almost was number 470!" shouted Katie.
"Good thing you spotted that typo, or we'd be down a Fireside Girl."
"I hear that!"
And with that, I became the first girl to earn Patch 2432...
Isabella handed Katie the patch, and Ginger and Milly cheered and applauded her for a job well done.
"Glad we had one of those lying around," Isabella remarked.
Katie looked at her new patch, which was symbolized by a pair of boys' underwear shaped like a flag.
...or, as it's now known as, the Salute His Shorts Patch.
"So, Chief," Katie said with a smirk, "can we just pretend this never happened?"
"It's going on the blog."
Katie frowned. "Of course it is."
End Entry
Author's Notes:
Number of references in this one. The "Phineas and Ferb" ones you should've picked out (unless you live somewhere where Season 4 hasn't started airing yet); the ones that aren't... have fun figuring those out!
Also, coming up with a random patch that wasn't too mean-spirited was hard! Just sayin'.
Next Week: The Hirano family is spending winter vacation in their homeland, Japan. Ginger hopes to finally forget about Baljeet, but even being half a world away doesn't help. Perhaps a Tokyo Fireside Girl can give her the answer? Find out as "Fireside Diaries" heads eastward, next time!