I sincerly apologize for the long wait. My only excuse is that I just haven't been in the mood to write. I've been busy with homework really stressing over these insane papers, talking to my girlfriend, and watching the Dark Tournament of Yu Yu Hakusho because that shit is just epic as hell! But, I had started this chapter a few weeks ago, but just didn't feel like finishing it up, but I, somehow or another, got this inspiration to write it and now we have a "lovely" chapter for y'all. I know, I know that cliff hanger was bad. I'm sorry guys, but I'm drawing more readers in now! 20 damn followers already! This story must be amazing. Maybe I should read it to see what the fuss is all about lol.
Endlessly:
I could love you endlessly, I could fall in love with you and we could keep a miracle alive. Every time I look in your eyes, I get lost inside of your soul. What are you doing to me? Don't you know that I hate you? Don't you want my blood on your hands? Don't you want me to scream? Don't you realize that it's too late to bring me back life? I'm already further than death. I'm drowning in my desire for you and my need to kill you. I want my hands covered in your blood, I want your skin underneath my fingertips I want you to reach out and touch me, I want you to burn me alive with your beautiful eyes. I want to hear your voice when I go to bed at night, I want to lie next to you and watch the world go by. I want to end you for good, I want to make you suffer, I want to see the look in your eyes when you look up at me when I hold the knife above your heart. I want you to know that any claims of hope you had of us is nothing but fantasy we'll never have. I want you to be the one that kills me, I want my blood on your hands.. I want you to end me I want to feel your passion. I want to feel your soul wrapping around mine. I want to know if you feel this too. I want to know if I can kill you now. I want to feel you underneath me I want to feel something besides this loneliness I feel inside. I want to bring the demon out of you.
I want to know if it hurts when I cut you up inside. I want to know if you really hate me or if I really hate you. I want to make me scream, I want to feel the power within me grow. I want you to knock me out, I want you to defeat me. I want something so much more from you than I could ever get. I want you to bleed, I want you to scream. I need you to know you're driving me crazy. I need you to know my soul burns passionately for you every time you give me that look I think I'm going to lose my mind. I want you dead, I want your soul to scream, to earn itself to me. I need you to know this isn't a game anymore. And what would you think if I told you that loved you this whole time? What would you say if I told you I never wanted to hate you, that I never loved you at all? What if I was playing with your mind?
What if I was lying right now? What if I told it was too personal to tell you how I felt about you? What if I told you that everything you've done to me was nothing more than just a wicked fantasies you dreamt of? What if I can't take it back? What if I don't want to? What if everything I said wasn't a lie? What if I tried to bring you back? What if I really did love you? Would you love me back, even though you think of me as a fool? Am I fool to fall in love with you? What if I told you that loving you is so impossible, it's not reality. I couldn't take it anymore. You burn me alive, I'd give myself to you if I could.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. If I did, then Yugioh would have ended with Bakura and Yami admitting their undying love for one another and Seto would have pulled Joey into a kiss to shut him up because Puppy and Darkshipping rock!
Warnings: My usual, y'all know what that means, but for those of you who happen to be new to my awesomeness, it means there's lemony goodness!
Summary:
Moments away from destroying Zorc, Yami hesitates, asking Horakhty if she can set Bakura free. She agrees, telling Yami that in order for him to pass into the afterlife, he must break his enemy of the darkness, and he only as a year to do so.
Chapter Thirty-nine: Wrecking
[Yami's POV]:
This isn't real.
The last moments are nothing but a blur. One minute I'm dueling against Zorc. I had Ra on the field, ready to destroy all of his monsters. Then he summons himself. I thought for sure a battle like no other would commence, but then Bakura took over his body. He barely had control of it… but with his last bit of strength he…
"I'm ending this!"
I cling my lover close to me. Tears slide down my cheeks like waterfalls. I hear nothing but agonizing screams and cries of pain. It takes me a while to realize that I'm the one producing such horrific sounds.
In the distance I hear screams and people running about in a frantic chaos. I can't blame them for being afraid after all, they have been in an unknown world. Not to mention…I look down at Bakura's face. Lifting a shaky hand, I stroke the side of one cheek then the other. He doesn't smile. He doesn't flinch. He doesn't move.
Nothing.
My tears splatter against his face sliding down his neck. I pull him close to me, burying my face in the crook of his neck sobbing. His gorgeous white hair dampens easily from my tears.
This isn't real!
"Alright everyone back up, back up." I hear someone shout. Probably a policeman. I look through Bakura's hair to see some paramedics put a stretcher down.
"Sir, we need to take a look at him." One of them says.
"No." I growl pulling Bakura tighter to me.
"Sir if we don't-"
"I said no!" I boom. Ra, how I wished I had the Puzzle right now! They're trying to take my Bakura away from me. I can't. I can't let them do that. I won't!
"Yami they need to check on Bakura." Yugi says gently kneeling beside of me, placing a hand on my back rubbing it in comfort. "We'll be right here by your side."
I sigh heavily. I can't. I just can't. I look up at the men standing a few feet away. "As long as I can be near him." I say.
"Of course, sir." The man says walking over to me. I gently place Bakura down and they check his vitals and the like. Worry crosses all of our faces. The one who has been speaking to me must be the one in charge. All three of the paramedics stand up.
"What's the verdict?" Joey asks.
Silence fills the air. That awkward silence that I wished I never would have known. They don't have to say it. We all know. I knew it all along, I just didn't want to admit to it.
Bakura is dead.
I faintly hear everyone talking amongst each other. Kaiba is talking to the paramedics about exactly how Bakura died. I glare at the knife a few feet away. It's covered in his blood. A policeman picks up with his gloved hand.
"Murder weapon?" he asks.
"Suicide." a paramedic corrects. Both of them look at me for a moment.
"What did he have to die over? Kids these days, they just kill themselves over stupid things." The policeman says, shaking his head.
The paramedics come over and start to put Bakura on a stretcher, just as they're about to Marik knocks them down, pulling Bakura upright by the collar of his shirt.
"I swear to all the Gods if you don't wake up I'm going to kill you myself!" Marik shouts.
"Marik, stop it!" Serenity cries. "It's not-"
He doesn't listen. I remain on my knees, staring at the area that I held Bakura the last time he was still alive. Everyone tries desperately to pull Marik off of Bakura and the paramedics put him on the stretcher…to take him…away. I jolt up, running towards them as they get ready to place my lover in the ambalance.
"Don't!" I shout. "Please!"
"Sir, we have to take him. He's gone…"
"I don't care!" I exclaim.
They exchange uneasy glance.
"Sir, I know this is difficult for you, but he's gone. He's not coming back. We can help you, but you can't keep him it's-"
"Let me take care of this." Kaiba says.
"Mr. Kaiba sir, we-we're just-" one of the stutters.
"I want Bakura in the best hospital. We will find a way to bring him back. I don't' care what we have to do. Is that understood?" Kaiba snarls.
"But sir we-he's-"
"I said 'is that understood?'!" Kaiba booms.
"Y-Yes sir!" the man squeaks.
Kaiba turns to the rest of us.
"We're taking Bakura to the hospital. I don't' want any of you acting like a bunch of fools when we get there. Only Yami is allowed to remain by his side. The rest of you can visit him, is that clear?" Kaiba says.
"You can't expect us to be okay with this." Mai exclaims. "He was my best friend!"
"He was all of our friend." Anzu says looking at Bakura, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"We have to let Kaiba help Bakura." Ryou whispers though from the way his voice is, he knows it's truly over. I do too. There's no point in trying to bring him back. He is really, truly gone.
We head to the hospital. When we get there everything's already set up for Bakura.
"I want all of you idiots to look for any cure there is to a puncture wound in the heart. I don't care if your eyes burn out from staring at the computer screen all day and night. Don't rest until you find something, is that clear?" Kaiba snaps.
"Yes sir!" they exclaims and scurry away to get to work.
"As for the rest of us, I think we need to leave Yami alone for a while." He says.
I look over my shoulder. "Thank you." I mouth. He nods as the rest of them, without much protest, leave.
"Bakura," I whisper pulling up a chair to sit up. I grab his hand, lacing our fingers together. His hand is so cold, so…lifeless. I don't bother to wipe the tears away. They just pour splattering on my lover's pale hand. "Bakura, I'm so sorry. Gods, I'm so sorry!" I stand up for a moment before I'm down on my knees again, clinging to him. "I'm so sorry! Please come back! Please! I don't' want to go on without you!"
XXXXXXXX
[Marik's POV]:
The moment I heard Yami's ear piercing shriek of pain and Bakura's limp form being cradle in his arms I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my best friend had taken his own life to stop Zorc. We're in Kaiba's personal hospital right now. His team is working on trying to find a way to bring him back. I know Kaiba isn't doing this for Yami, he's really doing it for himself. And why would he try to bring Bakura back from the dead for himself?
Because he cares.
After we got to the hospital, Kaiba demanded that all of us leave Yami to Bakura, alone. None of us wanted to leave, but we knew we had to. Yami needs time with his lover. He has to realize that Bakura isn't coming back. It doesn't matter how much technology, Kaiba and his geeks have, they don't have the ability to bring back the dead. Though, they're try until Kaiba wakes up and realizes it's just a waste of time.
Everyone's in the waiting room. Save for me. I can't be around those people right now. I need to be alone, so I head down to the bathroom. When I get there, I slam the door behind me and punch the mirror. The glass digging into my cuts, stinging them only infuriates me more. I kick the trashcan, when it doesn't slide across the floor the way I want, I pick it up and throw it against the door.
I do this for several moments, when I'm done torturing the innocent trashcan, I beat the wall repeatly with my fists. The glass digs deeper and deeper into my flesh making the pain intensify my frustration. Finally, when I have enough, I fall to my knees, raking my hands across the cold tile floor, tears sliding down my face.
"B-Bakura." I choke.
I can't believe this! He's really, truly gone! What the fuck was that idiot thinking?! Did he really think that killing himself was going to solve all of this? Sure, he got rid of Zorc, but all this effort to save him, all of this…
It was for nothing.
Suddenly, I hear a knock on the door. I open my mouth to speak, but the person beats me to the punch.
"Marik?" Yugi says. "Can I come in?"
Angrily, I stand up and make myself look decent. Fuck how this place looks. Kaiba can fix it later. I jerk open the door with my severely cut hand. I wince slightly from the pain, but ignore it.
"What?!" I snap.
Yugi's eyes widen when he sees the room. He steps in without my permission and I close the door behind him, locking it. Yugi turns to me, seeing my hand.
"Marik what happened to your hand?" he gasps.
"If you'd make better obversations than seeing blood on the walls and trash all over the flor then you'd see the mirror above the sink is broken." I snap crossly.
Yugi looks at the sink only to see broken shards of glass and blood splattered everywhere. He looks at me again. "Marik, beating yourself up about Bakura isn't solving a thing." He says approaching me slowly. "I know this hurts, believe me, but we can't blame-"
"I should have stopped the fool! I should have realized the moment he wasn't acting right that it was Zorc! I should have helped him, but I was too stupid to!" I shout kicking the trashcan. Angrily, I pick it up and throw it across the room. Yugi jumps out of the way just in time before the plastic bitch hits the wooden door.
Yugi walks over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I freeze. What the hell does he think he's doing?! He looks up at me, his arms still wrapped around my waist. "I know this is hard for you." He says. "It's hard on all of us. Bakura has made such an impact on all of our lives, but tearing up this bathroom and your body will not change things. Bakura wouldn't want you to hurt yourself over him, Marik."
I close my eyes. I know he's right. Yugi's always right. I sigh heavily, tears stinging my eyes. "It just…"
"Hurts." He finishes. "Yes, I know, but we have to be strong. Strong for each other, but most of all, strong for Yami."
He's right. The former Pharaoh is in the worst condition of all of us. I'm sure he feels like he's failed because now he can't be saved because he's dead. What happens now? How will his soul be judged? Will Horakhty come to deliver the news? When will she come? There's so many questions that need to be answered and they won't be answered attacking a trashcan and mirror.
"You're right, Yugi." I say.
Yugi smiles, pulling away. "Let's get that looked at and then we can go into the waiting room with the others." He says.
I nod, following him out of the bathroom, I glare at the trashcan over my shoulder one last time before following Yugi down the hallway.
XXXXXXXX
[Mai's POV]:
Hot new perfume for sale.
Hot new perfume for sale.
I've been reading those same damn lines over and over again since I sat down in this chair and picked up this magazine. Serenity and Mokuba have been sobbing uncontrollably since we've gotten here. Sometimes they'll cling to each other, other times to their siblings. Tristan and Duke have been arguing back and forth with one another. Mr. Muto across the room, doing the same thing I'm doing probably reading the same lines of that magazine he's been reading over and over again. Though, for his sake, I hope it's not a perfume add.
'How odd that'd be.' I think to myself.
Yugi left to tend to Marik. The Egyptian's been gone an awful long time. Not that I can blame him. I need to be alone myself. I stand up, slinging my purse across my shoulder. No one asks me where I'm going. I walk outside where the smoking ramp is and light a cigarette. I'm not one for smoking, but…
"I didn't know you smoked, Mai." Ryou says.
I look up from the rail I'm leaning over to see the white haired boy walking up the ramp. I stand up straight when he reaches the level I'm on.
I lean against the wall, closing my eyes. "I don't usually." I mutter.
"Hm." He says walking up to the rail, curling his fingers around it. He stares at the busy street as I take several drags of my cigarette. The burn in my throat and lungs only tells me how stupid I'm being, but I don't care. The burn, ironically, calms me down.
"I'm sorry, Ryou." I say.
He turns around. "Why are you sorry, Mai?" he asks. "You've done nothing wrong."
I let out a chilling laugh. "Don't be stupid, Ryou." I hiss. "You know damn well I could have helped Bakura instead of dealing with the Wheeler faggots."
"Mai, you only did what you thought-"
"It doesn't matter!" I shout. "They could have been dealt with any time! Bakura couldn't! I should have known it was Zorc's stupid ass controlling him! I should have been here more for him instead of posing for fucking pictures! I should have-"
"I understand how you feel Mai." Ryou sighs. "I feel the same way. I, of all people, should have seen what was really going on with Bakura, but I didn't and it's because Zorc is such a great actor. He knows how to play us. No one could have fathom this. This isn't your fault."
"I know I just-" I break into a sob. "Gods he was my best friend! He understood me and he- why did he have to-" I turn around curling my fingers into fists. My nails digging into my palms so deeply that blood trickles down my wrists, just as I'm about to punch the brick wall, Ryou's hand intercepts it.
"Don't hurt yourself over something you have no control over." He says. "Bakura wouldn't want that."
I nod, and he lets go of my hand.
"I shouldn't be bitching." I say. "After all, you're his Hikari. The other half of his spirit. You're taking this so maturally while I'm out here burning my lungs and trying to punch brick walls." I laugh humourlessly.
"You're not the only one who's tearing up things." Ryou says. "Marik's done some damage in the bathroom and Tristan and Duke have been warned about their behaviour."
I smile slightly. "Good to see I'm not the only one dealing with this negatively."
"Bakura met a lot to all of us." Ryou says. "We all just handle things differently."
'So how are you handling it? By bottling it up? You know they say that's worse than blowing up." I say.
Ryou closes his eyes and sighs heavily. "I've dealt with death before. My sister and mother died in a car crash when I was about six. I don't last out like most. I hide and pretend it didn't happen." He whispers.
"I didn't know you had a sister." I say. "I'm sorry she died."
Ryou smiles sadly. "It's okay, I've accepted her passing and realized I'll see her again. I guess that's what's getting me through this one. Sure, I'm hurting. Bakura, despite the shit he pulled while we shared a body, was still my best friend. He, in his weird way, was always there for me when I needed someone. I obtained the Ring shortly after Mom and Amane died." He says.
"Bakura was that shoulder to cry on despite what he did with your body." I conclude.
Ryou nods. "I always knew there was something wrong with him. The way he acted. It…it wasn't real, if that makes sense."
"It does. His real feelings were being maked." I reply.
"Yes," Ryou says with a nod. "And then he finally got the strength to break free for just a moment…to realize that he needed us to be happy. Only, he never broke free. Zorc was just letting him get that close to us so he could try and destroy us."
"Too bad for him he didn't succeed." I say.
"Right because Zorc never counted on Bakura actually giving up his life to save ours." Ryou says. "Because Bakrua has never done anything like that before, but since he didn't see it coming Zorc is finally gone."
"I'm glad that fucker is gone." I say throwing my cigarette down and stepping on it with my boot. "But did Bakura really have to do that? I mean…there could have been another way…"
Ryou sighs. "Apparently he didn't think so, otherwise I think he would have taken it. Zorc was controlling his body and the only way he knew how to get rid of him was by killing himself. Without a body, Zorc would be forced to leave because Zorc wasn't even really controlling him. It was just Bakura's anger manifested as Zorc. They had become one in the same at one point, after all." Ryou says.
"It makes sense." I say, "But I just wished there was something I could have done. I hate feeling helpless."
"I know." Ryou sighs. "I do too."
"I suppose we should go see if Kaiba won't let us back in." I say.
Ryou nods and we head back in.
XXXXXXX
[Tristan's POV]:
"What the hell was that idiot thinking?" Duke scoffs angrily. "Did he-"
'Shut up, Duke!" I shout.
"I mean he-"
"I said, shut up!" I shout punching him in the face.
"Hey!" Duke exclaims rubbing his face. "You didn't need to hit me!"
"You need to learn how to shut up, Duke!" I hiss. "I'm sick and tired of your constant opinions when they're not wanted!"
"Oh so you're allowed to care, but I'm not?!" He shouts.
"Since when have you ever cared about Bakura?!" I yell.
"Oh so you really don't think I care?" he mutters.
"Duke…"
"No, no." he says turning away from me. "I get it…"
"You know that's not what I meant." I say.
He turns to me. "Then what did you mean, Taylor? Hmm? What the hell did you mean?!" he shouts.
"Figure it out yourself, Devlin. I'm not in the mood for-"
"If you two boys don't stop shouting I'll have to ask you to leave." The sectary says sternly.
"You need to learn how to accept this, Tristan." Duke says in a harsh whisper. "Bakura is not coming back."
"You don't know that!" I hiss. "Kaiba can-"
"Oh fuck Kaiba!' Duke spits. "Kaiba can't bring back the dead!"
"I can do anything I want, Devlin. I have the power to make it happen." Kaiba says.
"Ha. If that's so then bring him back." Duke scoffs. Before Kaiba has time to say anything, the Dice Master heads out the door.
"When can we see Baku?" Joey asks his lover.
Kaiba sighs. "Yugi," he says looking at said boy.
Yugi, who is sitting beside Marik trying to calm him down, looks up.
"Yes, Kaiba?" he asks.
"Go see if Yami's okay." Kaiba says.
Yugi nods and heads down to the room.
I plop in a chair beside Mr. Muto. I sit there, watching the clock tick and occasionally look at the maganzine he's reading. He's been on the same page for hours. He's not really reading it. How can he when this shit has happened? I stand up angrily going to go find Duke and beat him up. Maybe fighting will help me because sitting here watching time tick by is not helping anything.
XXXXXXX
[Ryou's POV]:
As much as I try to accept this, I cannot. It is not real. Bakura just can't be gone. I talked to Mai outside after I walked around the block a few times thinking about how utterly horrible things are for us. I understand why Bakura did it, I just wished I could have done something for him. I feel so helpless.
We're all in the waiting room now save for Duke who had went outside. Tristan followed him not too long after Yugi left to check on Yami. I know Yami is feeling the most affected of all of us. Sure, Bakura was my yami and he meant a lot to me, but Bakura was Yami's soul mate, his reason for breathing. I can't imagine how he must have felt when he cradled my yami's body in his arms and watched his life slip away before his very eyes.
If only I would have truly opened my eyes to see the truth then…no, it wouldn't have changed anything. So many 'what ifs' 'I should have done this' scenarios could easily pass in all of our heads, but it won't change anything. When Amane died I did this exact thing. I wanted to believe that she and Mom would return, but I knew deep down inside they never would. I have gave them their due grief and I need to do the same for Bakura.
It's hard though. How can I possibly accept this when he was so close to reaching his goal? He finally became happy. Truly happy. That smile of his could bring out the rest of ours. It's amazing the one person we all used to fear is now the person we're mourning over. We lost someone that can't be measured and compared.
"He said we can come." Yugi says.
Everyone gets up and we follow Yugi.
XXXXXXXX
[Yugi's POV]:
Words cannot explain the pain I felt when I looked into my yami's eyes when I walked into the room in which Bakura lays hooked to so many machines. The moment I close the door and call out his name, he looks up at me. His eyes were full of tears, lifeless tears that clench at my soul and brought me running to him.
Yami clings to me, sobbing uncontrollably. I try to be strong for him, but I only sob with him, falling to my knees, we hold each other and cry until we can't cry anymore. Slowly, I stand up and help Yami to his feet.
"How are the others?" he sniffs looking at his lover's dead body.
"Marik injured his hand punching glass. Duke and Tristan are probably fighting outside. Mai came in smelling like cigarette smoke. Serenity and Mokuba are clinging to each other and their siblings. Grandpa is pretending to read a magazine."
Yami nods looking at me. "And what about Ryou?" he asks.
"He walked around the block for a while and then he came in with Mai." I say.
Yami closes his eyes, nodding. He looks down at Bakura brushing his hair back. "If only I had been stronger." He whispers. "Then I could have protected him."
"You did everything you could do, Yami." I say trying to convince him, trying to convince myself that we aren't the cause of Bakura's death.
Yami doesn't say anything. I know he's trying desperately to realize I'm right, but it's hard when the person that makes your soul smile is gone for good.
"I should had told him the moment I fell in love with him." Yami says stroking the side of Bakura's face. "I should have helped him back then then we wouldn't…"
"Then you and I would have never meant. Yami, you know things happen for a reason-"
"And what reason was this, Yugi?" he whispers bitterly. "I spent all of my life and beyond trying to destroy him. Then I try to save him out of what I believed was guilt, only it wasn't guilt. It was love. I get close too. Now…now he's dead and….there's only a week left before Horakhty comes and…"
He stops, falling to his knees and clinging to Bakura, sobbing uncontrollably. I close my eyes. I hate seeing Yami like this. No matter what I say, it won't bring Bakura back. I clear my throat slightly to speak.
"Everyone is wanting to see him, Yami." I say walking up to the bedside. "And you."
"You can let them in." Yami mutters, his voice muffled by Bakura's stomach.
I nod heading to the door. "Yami, you know we're all here for you right?" I say.
He doesn't say anything and I don't allow him to. I get the others and we head back to the room to see Bakura and my broken-hearted other half.
XXXXXX
Okay, let's see here...umm is Bakura really dead? Now that's the question. You'll just have to wait and see. Oh and if y'all are mad at me you can totally blame it on my girlfriend because she totally made me do this she was like "If you don't do this I will beat you up" and since I have to obey her then...because trust me I wasn't planning on killing him...or was I? Hmm *smirks* Nah, it was totally her. And if she tells you otherwise then you let me know and I'll straighten her out haha. Alright, review lovelies. And thanks so much for the reviews! Y'all are just OMFR! I love all of you! :D. Next we're updating Jeweled Eruption Yu Yu Hakusho fans!