I have no idea how this is being updated again. I literally just could not stop writing this chapter and then I ended up with almost 19 pages lol. Oh well, I guess we'll get another update then won't we? Enjoy!
Endlessly:
I could love you endlessly, I could fall in love with you and we could keep a miracle alive. Every time I look in your eyes, I get lost inside of your soul. What are you doing to me? Don't you know that I hate you? Don't you want my blood on your hands? Don't you want me to scream? Don't you realize that it's too late to bring me back life? I'm already further than death. I'm drowning in my desire for you and my need to kill you. I want my hands covered in your blood, I want your skin underneath my fingertips I want you to reach out and touch me, I want you to burn me alive with your beautiful eyes. I want to hear your voice when I go to bed at night, I want to lie next to you and watch the world go by. I want to end you for good, I want to make you suffer, I want to see the look in your eyes when you look up at me when I hold the knife above your heart. I want you to know that any claims of hope you had of us is nothing but fantasy we'll never have. I want you to be the one that kills me, I want my blood on your hands.. I want you to end me I want to feel your passion. I want to feel your soul wrapping around mine. I want to know if you feel this too. I want to know if I can kill you now. I want to feel you underneath me I want to feel something besides this loneliness I feel inside. I want to bring the demon out of you.
I want to know if it hurts when I cut you up inside. I want to know if you really hate me or if I really hate you. I want to make me scream, I want to feel the power within me grow. I want you to knock me out, I want you to defeat me. I want something so much more from you than I could ever get. I want you to bleed, I want you to scream. I need you to know you're driving me crazy. I need you to know my soul burns passionately for you every time you give me that look I think I'm going to lose my mind. I want you dead, I want your soul to scream, to earn itself to me. I need you to know this isn't a game anymore. And what would you think if I told you that loved you this whole time? What would you say if I told you I never wanted to hate you, that I never loved you at all? What if I was playing with your mind?
What if I was lying right now? What if I told it was too personal to tell you how I felt about you? What if I told you that everything you've done to me was nothing more than just a wicked fantasies you dreamt of? What if I can't take it back? What if I don't want to? What if everything I said wasn't a lie? What if I tried to bring you back? What if I really did love you? Would you love me back, even though you think of me as a fool? Am I fool to fall in love with you? What if I told you that loving you is so impossible, it's not reality. I couldn't take it anymore. You burn me alive, I'd give myself to you if I could.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. If I did, then Yugioh would have ended with Bakura and Yami admitting their undying love for one another and Seto would have pulled Joey into a kiss to shut him up because Puppy and Darkshipping rock!
Warnings: My usual, y'all know what that means, but for those of you who happen to be new to my awesomeness, it means there's lemony goodness!
Summary:
Moments away from destroying Zorc, Yami hesitates, asking Horakhty if she can set Bakura free. She agrees, telling Yami that in order for him to pass into the afterlife, he must break his enemy of the darkness, and he only as a year to do so.
Chapter Forty-three: Unwavering
[Yami's POV]:
"I'm going to give Bakura my heart."
Those words echo through my mind over and over again. The hope that there's a chance to save Bakura has finally come to pass. I stare at my lifeless lover for a long moment before I turn to Mr. Muto. He puts one hand under Bakura's and my and one on top of them. He look up at him and he looks into my eyes.
"Mr. Muto I-"
"You don't need to say anything, Atem." He says. "I love you and Bakura very dearly. Both of you have been through so much. You've fought each other for so long, but finally realized how much you loved each other. Bakura gave up his life to protect you and the others. He needs to live out his life and be happy with you. Both of you need to get married, raise a family together and grow old together just like everyone else."
I close my eyes for a moment. "But at what cost?" I whisper looking down at Bakura. "If I had woken up 5,000 years ago and realized I was in love with Bakura then we wouldn't be in this mess."
"Bakura would never have accepted your love back then and you know it, Atem." Mr. Muto says.
"I know," I sigh.
"Then there's no point in dwelling in the past now is there? You and Bakura have a chance to live out your life." Mr. Muto says.
"I don't want you to die for the sake of bringing Bakura back though." I whisper tears brimming my eyes. "Yugi needs you-"
"Yami, you need to realize that nothing you or anyone else says will change my mind." Mr. Muto says. "I'm Bakura's only hope. I'm old. Bakura…" he chuckles. "Well, technically both of you are much older than I am, but he's been given another life, so he's starting over again. Both of you have a chance to make something great of yourselves. Bakura, he has so much talent that was waisted when he was younger. I want you and he to live out your lives and to be happy. Can you do that for me, Atem? Can you be happy? That's all I ask in return for this."
I let go of Bakura's hand and Mr. Muto lets go of ours. I get out of the chair and he stands up. I wrap my arms around him and he does the same rubbing my back as tears slide down my cheeks both in joy and sorrow. "Yes." I whisper. "I'll make sure Bakura and I are both happy."
"That's all I ask." He says.
"Thank you so much." I whisper.
"There's no need to thank me, Atem." He says. "Your smiling faces is more that enough thanks for me."
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[Marik's POV]:
Mr. Muto is going to kill himself to bring Bakura back from the grave. I should be jumping for joy, but for some reason I just can't. I see the hurt in Yugi's eyes and for some reason it has me upset. Why? I mean sure, I care about Yugi, but I care about Bakura more. Shouldn't I be happy that he has a chance to come back?
Everyone has mixed feelings about this. I know that Mr. Muto means a lot to everyone. How can they even think about choosing between Bakura and him? I know Yugi wishes there was another choice, but his grandfather seems determined to give his heart to Bakura, and there's nothing we can do to change his mind.
"So are you just going to sit there staring at your food that your friend got you or are you actually going to eat it and survive?" I snap.
Yugi looks at me. "You're not eating either." He points out.
"Okay? We're not talking about me. We're talking about you, now aren't we?" I say.
"True," Yugi says with a nod. "But you still need to eat."
"No, I don't need to eat. I'm fine." I say.
"Then why should I eat?" he asks.
"Because you'll die if you don't." I say.
"And so will you." He says.
"And?"
"And you want to die?" he asks.
"It doesn't matter to me really." I reply with a shrug. "I mean my best friend is dead so…"
"Yes, but he'll come back to life after the heart transplate is made." Yugi says.
"Yes, but at the cost of losing your grandfather, which will only put a guilty conscience on Bakura." I say.
"And you think that by not eating that will change things?" Yugi asks.
"You seem to." I say.
"No, I just don't have much of an appetite. Unlike you, Tristan, and Joey." He says with a laugh.
"Hmm. Well, what can I say? I really like food." I say looking away.
"Then eat it." Yugi says.
"Why don't you make me?" I snap.
"If you don't eat I just might have to." He says with a grin.
I roll my eyes. "You're insane, you know that?" I say.
"How so?" he asks.
I roll my eyes and shake my head. We sit in silence for a while.
"Does your grandpa actually think that this will work?" I ask.
Yugi shrugs. "He seems determined, so…"
"Hmm."
"We're not going to blame you for wanting Bakura back." Yugi whispers. "I know you'd rather have him back than keep my grandfather around."
"Don't be stupid. I do want Bakura back, but you'll be in pain and I-" I stop myself looking away.
"And what?" Yugi asks looking at me.
"Nothing." I mutter.
"No, tell me. What is it?" he asks.
"I don't want to see you sad." I mutter getting up.
XXXXXXX
[Joey's POV]:
After Marik leaves I head over to where he was sitting beside Yuge and sit down.
"Hey Yuge." I say.
"Hey, Joey." He says looking away.
"Yuge, I'm sorry man. I didn't-"
Yuge turns to me. "Why are you saying sorry?" he asks.
I shrug. "I just feel really bad for wantin' Baku back." I reply.
"I want Bakura back too, Joey." He says.
"Yeah but…"
"Joey, you don't need to apologize. I know Bakura was a good friend to you and you care about him. Who wouldn't? Bakura is smart, funny, and really kind-hearted. He's just been dealt a bad hand in life is all, grandpa is helping him to have a life." Yuge says.
"I know I just wished he didn't hafta die in order to give him dat chance is all." I say.
"Yeah me too." Yuge says lookin' away.
I look up to see that everyone else is gone. Probably gone outside or somethin'. So much has gone on lately. It's overwhelmin' to us all. All of us adore Bakura, but we all care for gramps as well. How can we just let him die to bring a friend back? But at the same time how can we let Bakura go knowing we have a chance ta save him?
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[Mai's POV]:
As soon as Mr. Muto informs us that he'll be giving his heart to Bakura I step outside. This is too much to bear. The elderly man has been nothing but kind to us all, and he's willing to sacrifice his own life to save Bakura. I lean against the wall and light a cigarette, closing my eyes and inhale the toxic smoke. Anzu took one pack away a few days ago, I wasn't letting her take my second.
Why does this have to be so hard? Of all the people…I mean it'd be different if it were someone we barely knew who was dying but… I mean even that would have been horrible, but still it would have been easier. Of course, I've learnt a long time ago that life is a bitch and the only thing you really can do is dig your manicured nails into it and kick it in the balls.
Still, I know Yugi is hurting over this and I hate that. He's torn between wanting his grandfather to live and bringing Bakura back. Not only for his own sake and ours, but for Yami as well. After all, Yami is his other half and he feels the closest to him.
Ryou is another one who I'm sure is torn up about this. Bakura is his other half and he's never one to just say: "Oh yes please give your heart to my yami because it's the only way". No, Ryou is much kinder than that. He'd rather give up his own life than see someone else's gone even if that life would give back another.
I sigh heavily taking another drag of my cigarette. I hear footsteps coming but don't open my eyes. I hand Marik a cigarette and my lighter. I hear it click and he hands it back to me.
"You know Yugi's not going to want to kiss a toxic mouth." I say.
"Where you get this crazy idea that I want to kiss Yugi from, I haven't the slightest idea." Marik spits. "Besides, you're one to talk about smoking seeng as how half that pack is gone already and you went to the store the other day to get it."
"No this pack is my secret stash I hid from Anzu." I say.
"Really now?" Marik scoffs. "Because I think it's the one that you got the other day from the store up the road."
"And what if it is?" I say.
Marik shrugs and takes a drag of his cigarette. "I don't really care if you smoke or pop pills. Your health is of no concern to me." He says.
"Yes, just like Yugi's well-being doesn't mean anything to you." I laugh.
Marik turns to me, narrowing his eyes. "Mr. Muto is going to die and you're over there laughing?" he snaps.
I look at the Egyptian. "I'm not laughing at that, Marik. I'm laughing at how ridiculous you sound. Before you would have jumped all over this chance to save Bakura and would have been jumping for joy no matter if it hurt the rest of them or not, but now you're out here with me of all people smoking my cigerettes. And why is that, Marik? Do you care? I believe you do." I say.
"Yugi is my friend." Marik says. "He and Yami saved me."
"True," I concur with a nod. "But I believe there's more to this. After all," I say exhaling the smoke. "You and Yugi have been spending quite a bit of time together. Care to share why?"
Marik takes another drag of his cigarette and sighs. "He understands."
"He understands?"
"He understands."
We stand in silence for a while not saying anything to each other. I still think Marik is a stuck up little prissy bitch, but I do care for him and I know he's a good person. You just have to carve it out with a knife and blow it up to get to his inner good side.
"It's nice that you've fallen in love, Marik." I say. He looks at me like the world just flipped upside down. "Oh please," I scoff rolling my eyes as I throw my cigarette down and smash it with my boot. "Like it wasn't obvious?"
"Falling in love is a waste of my time." Marik spits. "I've already been down that road before."
"I have too, but you know when you truly fall in love with someone every other love that you've ever known. All other relationships you've ever had mean nothing to you. You won't look at anyone else the same again. Your whole perspective on love. Hell, your perspective on life in general will change. All you'll want to do is be near that person and when they tell you they love you. Well," I turn to look at the darkening skies. "That's the happiest moment you can ever have."
"Sounds like a bunch of fairy tale bullshit." Marik spits.
"Sounds like it." I laugh. "Trust me, when I first got hung up with Joey and his friends I really thought I was in love with him. He treated me differently than all the other guys that liked me. I felt loved for me and not my body. I knew he cared about me when he saved me. I really thought we could be together, but things don't work out like we planned. I got caught up in Dartz's nonsense because of the nightmares from your yami and Valon saved me." I say. I close my eyes and sigh. "I thought I was in love with him. He understood what it was like to be a loner, for no one to truly understand you and what it's like to feel left out even if you're welcomed, but not truly." I laugh humourlessly, shaking my head. "We almost had sex at one point when we worked for Dartz. That body and that Austrailian accent would leave any girl withering under his touch, but I realized that I didn't love him. He tried to pursue me, but I just waved him off and pretended that I didn't' want him around and I did. Then I met my husband and that was it. Looking into those eyes. I fell hard." I say. "Love is like that. You can fall in love with your best friend or the stranger across the street and you'll know. Trial and error cost you a lifetime of pain, but when you truly accept what your heart is telling you then it'll show you who you're supposed to be with."
"And I suppose that's what happened with Bakura and Yami?" he says.
I turn to Marik. "That's exactly what happened." I say. "Those two are a very special case. They've gone through nearly three lifetimes to truly reach each other. If that's not love then I don't know what is."
"Hmm." Marik says throwing his cigarette down and smashing it with his boot. "Those two have always been obvious they were in love. I saw the way they looked at each other. Even if Bakura was controlled by Zorc and his hatred and revenge. You could still see that longing and desire in it." Marik chuckles humourlessly. "You really could tell he was in love with the Pharaoh by the way we had sex. I knew it was wrong, but I didn't care. He was there for me and I used him just as much as he used me. I used to hate myself because I wasn't good enough for him and because I betrayed him, but then Yami decided to save him and I was thrilled. Thrilled because I could see my best friend again and because he could finally get the chance to truly be happy but now…" Marik clenches his fists. "Now he's gone, but he has a chance, but at what cost? Losing someone that one of my best friends loves?"
"You've changed a lot, Marik." I point out.
"Life does that to you." He shrugs.
"No," I say taking two cigerettes out and handing one to the Hikari. I light mine and hand him the lighter so he can light his. "Falling in love does that to you."
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[Ryou's POV]:
It's a blessing and a nightmare all rolled into one. Giving a life to save another life. I'm not surprised at all by Mr. Muto's willingness to die for my yami's sake. He's grown to love Bakura as his own grandson. He knows how it feels to be in love. I'm sure if he could he'd bring back his own beloved if he had the chance.
He's been in the room with Yami all afternoon. I'm sure they're having a long talk about the situation. Mai and Marik went outside. No doubt smoking. Yugi and Joey are talking across the room and I'm trying to read my book, but I keep reading the same lines over and over again. Why am I even bothering with this?
Tristan and Duke went down to the basement to get some snacks. I'm glad some of us are eating. Yugi still hasn't touched his food. Joey has tried to get him to eat, but it's failing miserbly. I understand where Yugi is coming from. I don't really feel like eating either. Pain just causes one to lose an appetite.
"Yugi, you should eat." I say closing my book and placing it in my bag. "You'll get sick if you don't and besides, you've been chastising Yami on eating, but you're not doing it yourself. Don't be a hypocrite now."
"I'm just worried guys." Yugi sighs.
"We all are." Anzu says coming back from who knows where. Probably went outside to get some fresh air. "But that doesn't mean we starve ourselves. I'll take this to the microwave downstairs if you'd like, Yugi."
He nods and hands the food to her. She leaves and returns in matter of minutes with it.
"Are Duke and T downstairs?" Joey asks.
"Yeah, they're fighting over some food." She says rolling her eyes.
"I'm gonna go see what they're up to." He says leaving. Anzu takes the seat beside Yugi and I move closer to them.
"It's crazy isn't it?" Yugi says looking up at the TV. Some weird cartoon is on. "One minute you're being picked on and the next your grandfather is giving his own life to save someone who used to be evil's life."
"You make it sound so silly Yugi." I giggle. "But you're right, it's crazy." I say.
"Life is just that way." Anzu says. "I never thought in a million years I'd ever befriend Bakura of all people."
"No one did." I say.
We sit in silence for a moment. It's broken by Yugi's chuckling.
"I bet you never thought anyone would beat you at dancing Anzu." He says, giggling.
"No." she says with a smile. "No I didn't. Bakura is gorgeous when he dances. I wished I could dance like that."
"You can Anzu." I say. "You're a great dancer, but remember my yami's had many thousands years practice to compared to your what?-"
"Ten years." She replies.
"Ten years of training." I say.
"True." She yawns.
"I think we should get ready for bed." Yugi yawns.
"Where is Mokuba and Kaiba?" Anzu asks looking around.
"They went out." I say. "Kaiba wanted to talk to Mokuba about something."
She nods.
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[Mokuba's POV]:
After hearing the news that Mr. Muto would be giving his life in order to save Bakura, I went outside and bailed. Seto came out not too long after as everyone else was busy dealing with the news in their own way. I think Ryou is the only one that truly knows that Seto and I went off.
"Where are we going Nii-sama?" I ask as we head down the highway at top speed.
He doesn't say anything, just grips the steering wheel.
"You look awful. You don't need to be driving. You need to get a nice hot meal, hot shower, and a nice comfy bed to sleep in. Maybe you should go-"
"Mokuba, I'm fine." He says. "We're not crashing and I'm not dying. It's just been three days. I've stayed up for nearly two weeks before, remember?"
"Yes," I say looking out the window. "But you collapsed on the floor and were beaten half to death." I mutter.
I feel my brother tense up at the memory. "Nii-sama, are you worried?" I ask.
He doesn't say anything. I turn so I can see him. He's staring straight ahead the moon is full tonight. The traffic is light this time of night. It's around eleven o'clock. I feel like we've been riding around for hours and still, I haven't gotten one thing out of Seto.
He sighs heavily. "You are." He says.
"Yes, yes I am." I admit. "But I'm big enough to admit that. While you, you're living in this robotic world where your feelings don't matter and they do." I say looking out the window. "Bakura means so much to me, but Mr. Muto is amazing. He's so kind and-I just don't." I sniff and wipe the tears away. "Isn't there another way?" I whisper.
"No." Seto replies. "And he doesn't want there to be."
"It's like he knew." I whisper.
We sit in silence once again. Seto doesn't even have the radio on and that's weird for him because he loves music. I reach over and turn the stereo on. He doesn't say anything about it as I'm keeping it on a low volume.
"I bet Bakura would have sounded beautiful singing that song." I say listening to the song on the radio.
"I agree." Seto says. "Bakura can really sing."
"He can dance too." I say with a smile.
"Unlike Joey." Seto scoffs rolling his eyes.
"You should have seen the first time they danced off in the arcade together! Bakura roasted him!" I giggle.
Seto chuckles. "I'd love to have seen that. Joey must have gotten really pissed."
"Yeah, you don't even know the half of it." I say with a laugh.
Silence…
"So when is the opporation supposed to take place?" I ask. "You know we'll only have three days after tonight, Nii-sama."
"He's going into surgery tomorrow morning." Seto says. "If he still wants to after tonight."
"Do the others know?" I ask.
"He'll tell them." He replies.
"He's more worried about Yami than anyone it seems." I say looking out the window.
"It affects him the most." Seto says.
"And Yugi and Ryou." I point out.
"That's true." He concurs.
"Do you really think this will work? I mean isn't Mr. Muto's heart in bad shape?" I ask looking at my brother.
"It is." Seto says. "But there are ways to work around that."
"This is just so sad." I sigh. "I hate that he has to die, Seto. It's not fair."
"What have I told you time and time again, Mokuba? Life isn't fair." Seto says.
"But it's not all misery either." I mutter.
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[Tristan's POV]:
"Well, one door opens and another falls apart." Duke says as he and I take a sit at a table in the cafertia in the basement. We've been fighting for who knows how long. Anzu came down and broke us apart slapping us upside the head. Guess we needed a good smack.
"Duke you have the stupidest analogies." Joey laughs sitting down at the table with us. He pops the cap of his soda and nearly chokes on it as he drowns it.
"And you're an idiot for drowning on some caffeinated bubbles." Duke scoffs rolling his eyes and taking a swallow of his water.
Joey half laughs, half coughs. "Ya just jealous because my drink tastes betta."
"Hmm. True, but my drink is healthier." Duke says spinning the bottle around.
"Since when have ya cared about health, Duke?" Joey scoffs.
Duke shrugs and takes a bite of his food.
"So how is Yugi doing?" I ask changing the subject.
Joey shrugs. "Okay, I suppose. He still won't eat, but he's stopped cryin."
"This is hard on him." I say.
"He'll learn to accept it." Duke says.
"And how do ya suppose he'll do dat?! He's gonna lose his grandpa!" Joey exclaims.
"True, but we'll get Bakura back." He points out.
"I wonder how Bakura will react to this." I say.
"Who knows, though it's obvious he won't be happy. He'll probably be confused when he wakes up." Duke says.
"Yeah, 'specially since who knows what he remembers before he died." Joey says.
"Do you think Mr. Muto is done talking to Yami yet?" I ask.
They both shrug.
"It's getting late though." I say looking at my watch.
"Then let's finish eating and get some sleep." Duke says with a yawn.
"Three more days guys." Joey says.
"I wonder how Horakhty's going to come." I say.
"Well maybe she'll come through some bug and then Anzu will scream and kill it and she'll punish us for killing her." Duke says.
"Nah, she'll come through me and talk to all of us!" Joey boasts.
Duke and I laugh.
"Like she'd choose you to speak through?" I scoffs.
"She'd definitely wouldn't choose you!" he exclaims.
I laugh. It's good to laugh even in a time like this.
XXXXXXX
Let's see what should happen next chappie...well the operation definitely. And some other stuff. I'll do that tomorrow. Yugioh and Zexal come on tomorrow. Oh and speaking of Zexal. I've got to update Ambrosia. Though, I need to look back over my notes and see what that story was about...I kinda forgot! I need to update JE too but not really into YYH right now...hmm weird how that works. Oh well. I'll update that eventually. Anyways, review lovelies. Dammit I wanna write more not go to bed! *Stabs*