I got this week's homework done and I'm going to do next week's tomorrow. So, I decided to write this chapter out for y'all today. So have at it.
Endlessly:
I could love you endlessly, I could fall in love with you and we could keep a miracle alive. Every time I look in your eyes, I get lost inside of your soul. What are you doing to me? Don't you know that I hate you? Don't you want my blood on your hands? Don't you want me to scream? Don't you realize that it's too late to bring me back life? I'm already further than death. I'm drowning in my desire for you and my need to kill you. I want my hands covered in your blood, I want your skin underneath my fingertips I want you to reach out and touch me, I want you to burn me alive with your beautiful eyes. I want to hear your voice when I go to bed at night, I want to lie next to you and watch the world go by. I want to end you for good, I want to make you suffer, I want to see the look in your eyes when you look up at me when I hold the knife above your heart. I want you to know that any claims of hope you had of us is nothing but fantasy we'll never have. I want you to be the one that kills me, I want my blood on your hands.. I want you to end me I want to feel your passion. I want to feel your soul wrapping around mine. I want to know if you feel this too. I want to know if I can kill you now. I want to feel you underneath me I want to feel something besides this loneliness I feel inside. I want to bring the demon out of you.
I want to know if it hurts when I cut you up inside. I want to know if you really hate me or if I really hate you. I want to make me scream, I want to feel the power within me grow. I want you to knock me out, I want you to defeat me. I want something so much more from you than I could ever get. I want you to bleed, I want you to scream. I need you to know you're driving me crazy. I need you to know my soul burns passionately for you every time you give me that look I think I'm going to lose my mind. I want you dead, I want your soul to scream, to earn itself to me. I need you to know this isn't a game anymore. And what would you think if I told you that loved you this whole time? What would you say if I told you I never wanted to hate you, that I never loved you at all? What if I was playing with your mind?
What if I was lying right now? What if I told it was too personal to tell you how I felt about you? What if I told you that everything you've done to me was nothing more than just a wicked fantasies you dreamt of? What if I can't take it back? What if I don't want to? What if everything I said wasn't a lie? What if I tried to bring you back? What if I really did love you? Would you love me back, even though you think of me as a fool? Am I fool to fall in love with you? What if I told you that loving you is so impossible, it's not reality. I couldn't take it anymore. You burn me alive, I'd give myself to you if I could.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh. If I did, then Yugioh would have ended with Bakura and Yami admitting their undying love for one another and Seto would have pulled Joey into a kiss to shut him up because Puppy and Darkshipping rock!
Warnings: My usual, y'all know what that means, but for those of you who happen to be new to my awesomeness, it means there's lemony goodness!
Summary:
Moments away from destroying Zorc, Yami hesitates, asking Horakhty if she can set Bakura free. She agrees, telling Yami that in order for him to pass into the afterlife, he must break his enemy of the darkness, and he only as a year to do so.
Chapter Forty-six: Fissure
[Yami's POV]:
It's been a few hours since Bakura was wheeled back into the operating room. Everyone-with the exception of Joey and Kaiba-has come back from their naps. I didn't get a lick of sleep and everyone knows it too. Mokuba's been keeping an eye out on things and making sure the operation is running smoothly.
"So you locked Kaiba and Joey in the room in the back?" Tristan laughs taking a swallow of his drink.
"I had to." Mokuba says taking a bite of his sandwich. "You guys know how Seto is. He'll work himself to death, besides he cuddled right next to Joey. He'll be out for a while."
"He needs to be." I say. "He's been working himself to death."
"Like you haven't hun?" Mai says. "I know damn well you haven't gotten any sleep."
"I've dozed off here and there." I say with a shrug. "But you're right, I haven't gotten any sleep for about a day."
"Hopefully this mess will be over soon and we can all get some rest." Anzu says. "This whole week has been nothing but stressful."
It has. And with just two more days until we find out what the verdict on Bakura's soul is, the stress only intensifies. I look over to see my Hikari in Marik's lap. He's sound asleep. Good, he needs to be. I know this is the hardest on him. Losing his grandfather to bring Bakura back is the greatest sacrifice he has ever given to me. I owe him my life.
I watch Marik run his fingers through Yugi's hair. I smile. I'm so glad that they finally got together. I wished they would have gotten together on different terms, but sometimes we get with the ones we love through strange situations. It makes sense that they would end up together. Marik and Yugi are both caring people. Sure, they are completely different and Marik does get on my nerves at times, but I still care about him and I know he loves my Hikari. Their happiness means everything to me.
I watch the clock on the wall tick. It's around six o'clock in the afternoon. Everyone is talking amongst themselves. I have no interest in taking part in their conversations right now. My mind is filled with constant worries. There is the slight possibility that this won't work out. Then what happens? Mr. Muto would have died for nothing.
Suddenly, a nurse steps into the waiting room. Everyone jumps up and before the nurse can protest everyone runs back into the room. Bakura is lying on the bed hooked up to machinery. I walk over to him slowly. My heart pounds in my chest a mile a minute as they check on him.
"Stop shinning that light in his eyes!" Kaiba shouts.
We turn to see Kaiba fuming mad at the door. He storms over to Bakura.
"Yes sir." The nurse says removing the light from my lover's face.
"Is he alright?"
"Why isn't he waking up?"
"Bakura get up you dumb ass!"
"Everyone back away! Let him breathe!"
"But we're-"
"Everyone get out right now!"
I pale. No, I don't want to get out…
"But Seto-"
"Now!" the CEO roars. "Yami, where are you going?" he asks as I turn to leave.
"I-"I start looking over my shoulder.
"Get your stupid ass back in here." Kaiba snaps. "You know I wasn't talking to you, idiot."
I nod and walk over to Bakura. I sit down in the chair and intertwine our fingers together. I know everyone else is worried about Bakura, but Kaiba knows we need this time alone. Bakura has been through a lot and it wouldn't be wise for everyone to start hugging him. I'm not surprised he was able to get out of that locked room really. Mokuba should have known better. I smile, shaking my head.
"Leave them." Kaiba orders.
"At once, sir." The nurses say and they all leave. I look up at Kaia who nods at me and I nod back.
"Bakura, please…" I whisper pleadingly. I can't bear this. Please, please wake up. I watch as his eyes slowly open. Those gorgeous eyes I've missed so much pierce into my soul and that beautiful deep voice rings in my ears as he speaks my name for the first time in what feels like centuries.
"Atem," he breathes reaching up to wipe the tears away.
I smiles at him, tears falling down my cheeks and splattering onto my hand. Bakura tries to sit up, but I don't allow him to. I stand up from the chair I'm sitting in and immediately fall to my knees, sobbing.
"Atem?" Bakura asks worryingly.
I continue to sob, clinging to him like a weak child. Bakura rubs my back in comfort and it only creates more tears. This is truly a blessing. Finally, Bakura is back. I look up at him. He reaches out with a shaky hand to wipe my tears away. His touch is so weak. I place my hand over his, reaching out to touch his face. I can't believe this is real. I can't believe Bakura is back. This has to be a dream.
I stand up, keeping my hand on his face and my eyes locked with his. I don't want to miss another moment of those gorgeous eyes. I use my foot to bring the chair up to me so I can sit in it. I take Bakura's hand in mine and run my thumb along to top of it. Bakura stares at me, worry crossing his features.
"Bakura," I choke.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
I close my eyes for a moment. Even the worry in his voice has me undone. I sigh shakily.
"Because you're finally back." I say.
Bakura gives me an inquiring look. "Back? Back from where?" he asks.
"You don't remember?" I ask.
Bakura gives me a strange look. He forgot everything?
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[Bakura's POV]:
When I woke up everyone was acting really weird. Kaiba told everyone to leave and now only Yami is in here with me. Wherever 'here' is. He's been crying for almost ten minutes now and it seems my touches only cause more of his pain. Why is he so upset? Did something happen?
"Why are you crying?" I ask after a while. I need to know. I need to know so I can fix it. I hate to see him upset. It tears me out of the frame.
"Because you're finally back." He replies with a tearful smile.
I blink. "Back? Back from where?" I ask.
I went somewhere?
"You don't remember?" he asks.
I give him a puzzingly look. What is he going on about? He looks at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have…
"What was the last thing you remember?" he asks.
I look up at the ceiling for a moment before my eyes avert to his. "Umm…a lot of pain and being in total darkness. Voices…" I mutter. "Screams…"
"Bakura, your soul has been trapped inside your body for about three months now. Zorc took over your body and-"
"What?!" I exclaim trying to sit up, but my lover pushes me back down firmly, but gently.
"Easy now, you've just woke up from an operation." He says.
"Operation?" I ask.
"Yes, but I'll get to that in a moment." He says.
I nod and he continues. "Zorc took Mr. Muto's Millennium Item cards and forced me to duel. We played a Shadow Game. He locked your soul in cage where every time I would attack him a piece of your soul was eaten by one of the three shadow creatures surrounding your cage." He says. My eyes widen. "When he attacked me, one of my friends would be taken and used to power up the Millennium Items. Apparently, you slipped Diabound in my deck and gave Dark Necrofer to Ryou. Either that, or Zorc did." He says seeing the look on my face.
"How did you…" I ask.
Yami closes his eyes. "I didn't." he whispers.
"Then…"
He looks into my eyes. "You were able to take control of your body just for a moment. It saved all of us, but cost you." Yami says squeezing my hand tighter.
My eyes widen. "Atem, what are you saying?" I ask.
He closes his eyes for a moment tears stinging them. I reach up with my free hand to wipe them away.
"You killed yourself." He whispers almost inaudibly. "You used your Shadow Magic and formed a knife and stabbed yourself in the heart. You've been here for nearly a week. We tried everything to get a heart transplant for you, but your blood type is so rare that we…" he squeezes my hand harder, squeezing his eyes shut. Tears glide down his cheeks.
"Atem?" I ask.
"Mr. Muto he…he…"
My eyes widen. No! Not him! He didn't! No! No!
"You mean to tell me…" I start.
Yami looks at me and nods. "Yes, Mr. Muto's blood type matched yours and with the last week of the agreement remaining, we couldn't wait-"
"Last week of the agreement?" I ask. Yami looks at me. "You mean the one that you had with Horakhty about saving my soul?" I whisper.
He nods.
"So am I…" I look away tears stinging my eyes. I'm going to be destroyed aren't I? Figures…I change my life around and I fall in love and my wicked side takes over and I nearly destroy the people that I love. There's no way that Horakhty will..
"You won't be destroyed." Yami says. "I'll make sure of it."
I look up at him. How can he be so sure? I don't' even remember the last few months of my life. I remember bits and pieces, but it's all still a blur to me.
"So Mr. Muto gave me his heart?" I whisper looking down at our joined hands.
"Yes, Bakura, he did." He says.
I close my eyes, tears falling down them. I can't believe this. I can't believe he would do this for me.
"I don't believe it." I whisper.
Yami leans towards me, kissing my tears away. I pull at him weakly, wrapping my arms around him. We look into each other's eyes and he kisses me. I close my eyes loving the feeling of his warm, soft lips against mine. I've missed this. He pulls away after a while, stroking the side of my face.
"You look awful." I say.
"I haven't eaten in almost a week and I've barely gotten any sleep." He says.
"Hmm. You're such an idiot." I scoff.
Yami laughs. "I was so worried about you, but now you're back and I"-
I smile at him. "I want to see everyone else." I say.
"Are you sure?" he asks pulling away from me. "You just got out of being operated on. I'm sure you'd like"-
"It'll appease everyone's worrying. I'm sure they've been up the wall on my condition." I say.
"Yeah, Marik attacked the bathroom. Kaiba's been working three days straight Mokuba had to lock him in the back bedroom with Joey. Mai and Marik have been smoking their lungs out, and Tristan and Duke have been fighting." Yami says.
I shake my head. "Figures." I scoff.
He smiles at me. "I'll go get them. Will you be alright by yourself for a few moments?" he asks.
"I think I can manage." I say.
He nods and leaves the room.
XXXXXXXX
[Marik's POV]:
"Seto, why did ya make us leave?!" Joey exclaims pacing in forth in the waiting room. I understand that he's pissed off because I am too, but does he have to be so loud?
"I've already given you that answer, Joey." Kaiba sighs in irritation. "Yami and Bakura need time to talk, alone."
"Well, I want to talk to Baku too!" Joey snaps.
"Joey, we're all worried about him, but he needs some time to breathe." Anzu says.
"Friendship girl is right, and when we agree you know there's a problem." I say.
Anzu gives me a look, but I shrug it off.
"We're all worried and on edge about this." Yugi says. "Just give Yami time with Bakura."
Joey nods and sits down next to Kaiba, leaning on his shoulder. Kaiba crosses his legs and marks something in a book. Probably a word search or something. I am so grateful that Bakura is back now. I am anxious to talk to him. What will I say to him? What will he say to me? Does he remember what happened? I glance over at Yugi, who's sitting beside of me. He's staring at the wall.
"I didn't know walls were so pretty." I tease.
Yugi looks at me. "Well, I wasn't admiring it."
"So you say."
"Marik." Yugi giggles.
I smile. "So why were you staring at the wall?" I ask.
"Just thinking." He mutters.
"Thinking about me?" I tease.
He laughs. "Well, yes, but also I'm worried about Bakura." he says.
I sigh. "Yeah, so am I."
Suddenly, Yami walks into the waiting room. We all look up.
"Is he alright?" Anzu asks.
"He's a bit shaken up about everything, but he wants to see all of you." Yami replies.
"I think it would be best if we go in there one at time." Kaiba says. "Marik, go first I know you're about to have a cow."
I glare at him, but get up and head into the room to see Bakura. I sit in the chair beside the bed. He looks so weak and fragile being hooked up to all those machines.
"Hey," I say. "How are you feeling?"
"Sore and tired." He replies.
"Can I get you anything?" I offer.
"Besides out of here, no." he replies.
We sit in silence for a moment.
"Bakura, I"-I start, but I'm too choked up to finish. I turn away from him so he can't see my tears.
"Marik," he says softly reaching up to wipe the tears away. "Yami's been crying the whole time. Don't you start crying, idiot."
I laugh, wiping my tears away. "I thought I'd lost you for good." I whisper.
"Do you really think I would be gone forever, Marik? You know me better than that." He scoffs.
I laugh. "True."
We sit in silence for a long time. I intertwine our fingers together, squeezing his hand gently.
"Thank you, Marik." He whispers.
"For?"
He looks up at me. "For everything. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be." He says.
"I'm not the one to thank for this." I spit. "If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be in here."
"Marik, it's not your fault." Bakura says. 'Yami told me everything."
"Then you should know that-"
"And I should know that each and every single one of you believed in me and never gave up on me." Bakura says.
I smile at my best friend. "No, no we didn't, but I still feel terrible. I should have known…"
"Should have know this outcome?" Bakura cuts me off. "No, Marik, you shouldn't have. Now stop beating yourself up."
"Okay." I say with a nod.
"So have you told Yugi?" he asks. I blush and Bakura laughs. "Couldn't keep your hands off of him, could you?" he teases.
I laugh. "No."
"I'm glad you're happy now, Marik." He says.
I smile at him. "I am too."
XXXXXXXX
[Ryou's POV]:
After Marik came back from seeing Bakura, I went next. I'm glad Kaiba is only allowing a few of us at a time to see Bakura. I sit in the chair nervously.
"You're never going to stop being afraid of me, are you?" he sighs.
"I'm sorry, Bakura." I sigh. "It's just…it's been a stressful few days and I've missed you a lot…"
"I know, I'm sorry I've worried everyone." Bakura sighs.
"It wasn't your fault, yami." I say. "I'm the one that should have"-
"Don't even start with that shit, Ryou." Bakura snaps.
"But"-
"You always think of yourself as weak. You've blamed yourself on all the problems in the world, but more specifically when it comes to me. My downfall is my own fault. In the back of my mind, I always knew getting into the agreement with Zorc would bite me in the ass, and it did." Bakura says.
"I know, but I wished I could have done something more to help…" I trail off.
"Ryou," Bakura says touching my hand. I look up at him, tears filling my eyes. "Don't you realize that you've done enough for me? You were always there for me and you always believed in me. Even when I was in too much pain to see the truth."
"I"-
"You're a wonderful person, Hikari. I will never be able to take back the things I've done for you, but I want you to know that I love you." He says.
"Oh Bakura!" I exclaim jumping up and hugging him, tears falling down my face.
"Don't kill me now." Bakura teases.
I laugh, moving away from him and wiping the tears from my face. "I love you too, Bakura."
XXXXXXX
[Yugi's POV]:
After the others had gone, I went to talk to Bakura.
"Hey Bakura," I say tears stinging my eyes. I hate feeling this way. Both happy and sad. Happy because I have Bakura back in my life and I have Marik, but sad because of Grandpa…
"I heard what happened, Yugi." He says. "I'm so sorry."
I take his hand in mine. "It's not your fault, Bakura." I whisper. "So don't blame yourself."
Bakura closes his eyes. "If I hadn't…"
"No, it's Zorc's fault. You didn't feel like you had a choice. He was threatening all of us. What were you supposed to do?" I ask.
"Anything but that." He mutters.
I smile sadly at him. "Bakura, we all love you so much. Yes, I'm upset that my grandfather died, but just seeing you alive again. Seeing my yami happy, it means the world to me." I say.
"And what about you?" he asks looking at me. "You lost someone because of me. Haven't I done enough damage to you, Yugi?"
"Damage? Bakura you haven't-" I start but he cuts me off.
"No, Yugi I have. I've done terrible things to you and your friends. You shouldn't be so quick to forgive." He says.
"But you've changed, Bakura." I say. "You've realized that revenge isn't going to solve anything. You broke through Zorc's control and you ended him for good."
"Yes, but at what cost?" he whispers looking away.
"Don't blame yourself, Bakura. It's not your fault. Besides, Grandpa, he insisted on it, really. He wanted to be with Grandma." I say.
"Still…you could have had a few more years with him, Yugi." He mutters. "And because of me he…"
"Bakura, it's okay." I say leaning over to hug him gently. "I love you. I will never blame you for what happened, okay? I want you to be happy."
I pull away and Bakura smiles up at me. "Thank you, Yugi." He says.
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[Bakura's POV]:
After everyone came in here to talk to me I felt a bit better. I'm glad that everyone is okay now. I know they've been really worried about me. Even Duke and Tristan. It was awkward talking to them, but I know they care about me and I care about them as well.
Yami hasn't come back in here. I guess they all think I need some sleep. I stare up at the ceiling pondering what's been going on in my life. I wished I remembered more about what happened. Yami said that after tomorrow there will be only two more days left until Horakhty arrives to give me her verdict. And I'm terrified.
I know I've changed. I know that Zorc is no longer within me, but I have done a lot of wrong in my lifetime. After all, it was because of me that Zorc was able to escape from the Shadow Realm and enter into this world in the first place. I wanted Yami to pay for what I believed his family did to me, but then I learnt the truth. I learnt that I wasn't going crazy and I actually had fallen deeply in love with him.
He saved me. At first, I hated him for it, but now I'm glad he had. Not only had he saved me, his friends had as well. They opened their arms and their hearts to me despite what I did to them. I couldn't ask for better friends. I smile to myself. Zorc was such a fool. He always told me that friends were weakness and if I fell in love I would be a failure. I don't' feel like a failure at all.
No, that's a lie. I do feel like one. Despite that I've talked to Yugi and he assured me that he isn't mad at me, I still feel awful. I took away his grandpa because I had killed myself. It's not right. I wished I could bring him back. I will never be able to pay for what he's done for me…
Suddenly, someone opens the door. I sit up a bit expecting it to be Yami, but it's the one person I never in a million years it would be:
Kaiba…
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Next chapter is the chapter I've been DYING to write! Seto's and Bakura's talk! It's going to be epic and it'll probably take up quite a bit of the chapter too because those guys have a lot to talk about! *squee! I just hope I can do this right. I'm a bit nervous...but I'm sure I'll do fine. Anyways, I do hope y'all enjoyed this chappie and now I'm going to go write the next one. 181 reviews lovelies! Keep them coming! Love y'all so much! :D. Review!