FOUR
Four books are the grand total of the German-language books in the institution's small library.
She is almost completely sure that no one's touched them in a long, long time. She feels a twinge of guilt in her chest—her sweaty palms had warped some of the pages in the biology textbook.
A lot of the words don't make sense but she wishes she could have kept the textbook, with its hard cover and shiny pages, as perfect as she had found it.
But stuff changes. It's just her luck that the stuff she wants to change doesn't, and the stuff she doesn't want to change does.
"Here again, Elfnein?"
It's the librarian. She wonders how he can sneak up on her even though he has a cane that thumps against the carpet every other step.
"…Yes, Mr. Ren."
He nods.
She watches the lonely pink strand in his white hair flop in front of his left eye. She tries not to giggle when he flicks it back, but he laughs, too.
"Tell me, Elfnein. How has your day been?" He tugs on a chair, and of course she hurries to help him.
None of the books in the library can hold a conversation, and she's read the ones in German countless times, so she doesn't mind talking to Mr. Ren instead of reading.
But… she doesn't really want to tell him about Ken getting adopted… so she just shrugs.
"Is that so?" He pats her head and says, "Rarely do the children visit the library. Please, indulge this old man with some youthful conversation."
Other than the news, there's nothing else that makes today different from yesterday.
She doesn't want to leave Mr. Ren waiting, though, so she sighs and mumbles, "Ken's getting adopted."
He nods. He's waiting for her to continue. He's one of those slow processes, very patient.
Conversation is really hard when you never have anything to talk about. It's also hard when you don't know how to say what you want to say.
"Fret not, Elfnein," he smiles at her, that funny small smile that isn't anything like the teeth-showing smiles of other adults. It's a characteristic particular to Mr. Ren. "There's still a half hour left of recess. Go out play."
Now, if only she could escape her other problems so easily.
"Can I come back after dinner, Mr. Ren?" She wants to talk, but sometimes it takes a long time, because it feels like her brain is a slow process, too.
Mr. Ren understands, because he smiles again, and he says, "I'll ask the matron for someone to help me dust the shelves."