A small passenger plane landed at the lone runway at an airport located somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Flash forward to a few minutes later, as about a dozen people emptied out from the plane and into the terminal. And among them was a certain cute-as-a-button Fireside Girl…
Entry #373 - Written by Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, troop leader
I'm embarking on new territory today, folks! For the first time, I'm traveling to another town to assist in the creation of a new Fireside Girl troop! And by assist, I mean assessing the would-be troopers in order to see if they have everything needed in place to form an official troop.
Isabella quickly picked up her one bag and headed for the airport exit. She makes her way over to a sign marking the bus stop, and waits there for her ride. Soon after, Isabella was on her way, the lone passenger on a bus heading deep into a forested area tucked into the mostly wildlife-friendly valley.
Assessing the worthiness of a place to be the host of a Fireside Girl troop is very involved. You have to make sure there are ample activities for would-be troopers to participate in, adequate facilities to house them, and a high enough base population to draw recruits for years to come.
Isabella enjoyed the tree-lined scenery and the occasional appearance of wildlife… not that there was much else to see in this part of the state.
All three of those are in question at this prospective troop's hometown, particularly the last one. For a town that's known to be 'north of normal,' it's also smack dab in the middle of nowhere. There are rumors that its beginnings are tied to American history, but those are unproven at best. Regardless, for my first assessing assignment, it'll be tough to give them a passing grade.
Still, stranger things have happened…
The last words escaped from her mouth just as the bus passed the sign which bore the town name she was destined for.
Gravity Falls.
"Fireside Diaries"
Story Written by Freedom Fighter
So, raise your hands if you were expecting a "Gravity Falls" crossover episode? I know I've had a couple people ask for this (ahem, nightshad0w, aka chirstperez9703 on Twitter), so I found a way to work one into the story. Special shoutout to a friend of mine, emmanu888 (GUCFan on Twitter), who inspired the plot for this story through role-playing there.
As evident by the entry number, this takes place during the summer - in order to fit into the timeframe of "Falls" - and thus a number of events have yet to take place. Speaking of events, the two-parter that opened this fifth and final season actually debuted last month, so if you somehow missed those episodes, go back and read them. You won't need them this week, but as for next week? Hmmm…
But for this week… FUN!
Disclaimer: The characters of 'Phineas and Ferb' and 'Gravity Falls' belong to Disney and not me.
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Entry #373 [FSD503] - Pineing for Membership (03.31.14)
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The bus pulled away from the curb and Isabella walked away from it, heading for the building standing in front of her.
So here I am, at the Mystery… Hack?
Isabella pulled out a hard copy of the troop formation application form and saw that the name of the place was listed as the 'Mystery Shack.' And yet, the sign atop the shack-like residence was missing the S.
Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
"Greeting, suck- er, I mean, tourists!" shouted an old man, who came walking quickly up to her, sporting a salesman-like gleam in his eye. "The entrance fee is five bucks, or whatever's in your wallet. Preferably the latter…"
This is Mabel's great uncle, Stan. Or, as I would later learn, Grunkle Stan. With a K.
Yep. Got a bad feeling about this.
Isabella appeared confused. "Huh?"
Grunkle Stan stopped in front of Isabella. "You lost, kid?"
"Actually…" she spoke up, attempting to correct him.
He then saw her luggage and groaned in dismay. He turned around and started yelling back towards the house.
"MABEL! COME OUT HERE AND GET YOUR FRIEND OR WHATEVER! I'M NO BABYSITTER!"
As Grunkle Stan walked away from me, I could hear him mumble some words that aren't suitable for a family-friendly audience.
Just as he reached the entryway, Mabel ran out, giggling gleefully as she sported a homemade Fireside Girl beret. She sprinted out towards Isabella.
"YOU'RE HERE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU SINCE FOREVER!"
The girl charging toward me - and if I didn't know any better, trying to take my head off with a flying tackle - is Mabel Pines. She is the one who submitted the application to form a new troop here in Gravity Falls. My first impression of her?
Somebody's feeding her too much sugar.
Thankfully, Mabel stopped right in front of Isabella, grinning with a smile so wide it appeared to extend completely from one ear to the other.
"I'm Mabel!" she said, introducing herself. "So are you here to say we can start a Fireside Girls troop? Are you? Are you? I've already got the proper hat!"
She pointed out her beret - which did not quite look the same as most standard Fireside berets.
"That beret's brown… and possibly made out of something one would find on the road… but the fact you've already knitted one shows enthusiasm! I like that!"
Mabel gasped. "You… you think so? So we can have a troop?"
Isabella giggled. "You can't get one just off of that alone. But it's a start! I'm here to verify everything on the application and make sure there are enough facilities and interest in the area to warrant establishing a new troop here. Okay?"
"Uh huh." Mabel put an arm around Isabella. "Trust me, after you see what we have to offer here, you'll be paying us to start a troop!"
"Now, now. This may be my first time doing this assessment for a prospective troop, but you should know Fireside Girls are of the highest moral character. In other words, we never take bribes."
"IT'S NOT WORTH IT!" Grunkle Stan could be heard yelling from the doorway.
Mabel laughed nervously. "Ha ha… ignore Grunkle Stan. He's such a kidder."
"I AM NOT!"
"Let's just get started." Mabel started pulling Isabella towards the shack. "I'm sure I have plenty to show you!"
Boy, was I right about that remark.
A few minutes later, Isabella found herself dressed up like Dorothy from 'The Wizard of Oz. Next to her was Mabel, who was in a brown bunny costume with antlers glued to either side of her head. Unevenly, mind you. The latter girl was also using a plastic knife to spread strawberry jam in random spots on the front of the former's dress.
Before you ask, this is ONLY the third-most awkward thing I've ever been asked to do as a Fireside Girl. Unlike the other two incidents, though, there ISN'T a patch waiting for me at the end of this.
"So is this what you wanted to show me?" questioned Isabella. "You do this every day?"
"It's different from tour to tour," replied Mabel, shrugging.
"What… what are you supposed to be? Are you… a jackalope?"
Mabel giggled. "Jackalope? I'm not part-cantaloupe, and my name certainly isn't Jack."
"Um…"
"Here comes Grunkle Stan! Just do like I told you!"
Isabella dropped to the floor, with one eye staring at the ceiling and the other looking at the tour group being led in by Stan. Mabel stood leaning over her, with arms raised as if she were in the midst of attacking her.
"And this is the tale of the fabled jackalope and the poor girl who thought it was a good idea to pick berries. Ha! Take that, girl of the plains!"
Feeling insulted, I was about to speak up and end this shameful ruse. But before I could…
A loud, squeaky roar filled the air. Stan repelled in fright, and his attention turned first to a stunned and confused tour group, and then Mabel.
"Too much," he whispered to his great niece, "dial it back a little."
"But Grunkle Stan," she whispered back. "That wasn't me."
The roar permeated the air again, this time even louder. Everyone turned their heads to the source, back at the entrance. The shadows masked it just enough to hide what it was, but its sinister red eyes quickly scared the tourists into a state of panic, screaming for their lives as they tried running out, skipping the rest of the tour.
"NO REFUNDS!" Stan shouted, following the group.
Isabella broke her stance and ran back in the direction of the creature. It, in turn, hopped away. By the time the troop leader reached the doorway, the animal - or whatever it was - had vanished into the surrounding woods.
"What was that, what was that?" shouted Mabel, running out past Isabella and tripping over a small hole.
"Footprints!" declared Isabella, looking at the hole. "But what kind?"
"They're so cute!" cooed Mabel. "We should go after it!"
"I dunno. That doesn't sound like a good idea."
"It totally doesn't! Unless you have friends!"
Mabel grabbed Isabella by the arm and pulled her back into the Shack…
…where Mabel's friends Candy and Grenda were waiting. They had made their own Fireside Girls' uniforms. But Grenda's was a little too small, showing off her belly button, while Candy's was a little too big, as apparent by her longer-than-needed sleeves.
"We would be honored if you let us join your grand club!" said Candy, exuberantly.
"Yeah!" bellowed Grenda. "We'll be good Fireside Gals!"
"That's fine and all," Isabella stated, turning to Mabel, "but by-rules state all troops must have a minimum of four full-time members. You need one more."
She saw someone with curly hair in the corner of the shop with her back turned towards them.
"How about her?"
Mabel snickered, putting an arm around Isabella. "That's no girl. That's my brother, Dipper! DIPPER! MY NEW FRIEND THINKS YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!"
Dipper sighed as he turned around and walked over. "I wish you wouldn't say that to total strangers."
Dipper then turned to Isabella.
"My apologies," Isabella said with remorse. "I'm Isabella, and I'm here because your sister wants to start a Fireside Girls troop here in Gravity Falls."
Dipper looked confused. "A what?"
"We can talk about that later," Mabel cut in. "We got us a cute little animal to find!"
"I don't know if I'd call it cute, if the roar I heard from upstairs was any indication…"
"We'll call it an adventure. Or a mystery. Wait… an adventure of a mystery! And we can show Isabella we can be true Fireside Girls!"
"Again… what? You know what, never mind. I'll help, but only because I want to find out whatever this thing was."
"YAY!"
"WHOA!" Dipper shouted, being pulled out the door by Mabel.
And with that, we were off to begin our search. As a Fireside Girls' troop leader, I took it upon myself to lead the way…
"Let's see," Isabella said, down on one knee, examining the trail. "The tracks appear to lead this way."
"This way it is then," agreed Dipper.
Dipper took point, both to Isabella's surprise and chagrin.
Ahem. I took it upon myself to lead the way…
Isabella hurried up to Dipper's side and retook control, getting a half-step ahead of him.
"For your own safety, you'd better let me lead. I do have several Wilderness Survival Patches, after all."
Dipper, though, was not having any of that, and he picked up the pace until he was back in front.
"Well, I know these woods like the back of my head. Mostly, but… but a lot more than you do!"
Ahem! I took it…
"I am a Fireside Girls troop leader AND I've been a member since I was five! I know what I'm doing!"
Isabella took out her pocket-sized version of the Fireside Handbook, which was large even for its size. Dipper countered by pulling his hardcover journal out.
"And I've been here on summer vacation in this town long enough to know there is nothing normal here in Gravity Falls! Nothing you might have 'experience' in can train you for what's out here!"
The two stared each other down, while the others watched from afar.
Never mind.
"We should stop this! Grenda hates violence!"
"We must do something to quell them, Mabel!"
Candy was right. Mabel marched forward and got in between her brother and Isabella.
"Dipper, you should let Isabella lead. She knows what she's doing."
"But…"
Mabel scoffed. "Fine. Isabella, let my brother lead. It's one of those 'I'm the man' deals."
"This has NOTHING to do with me being a maaaannn…"
The last word came out high-pitched and girly as Dipper sidestepped his way into a new paw print. Only this one was at least three times as big as the one the girls had seen originally outside the Shack.
"Hmmm…" Isabella murmured. "We might be dealing with more than one creature here."
You may be thinking that, duh, obvious statement is totally obvious. But just in case you needed visual proof…
The five kids were suddenly covered by a large object blocking sunlight from shining down on them. The object? An eight-foot tall brown-furred rabbit with antlers.
"HEY!" Mabel exclaimed. "It's that thing I am!"
Dipper flipped through his journal until he came to the entry he was looking for. He read it aloud, even as the creature let out a blood-curdling roar.
"'Jackalope. Half-rabbit. Half-moose. All bite. If you're lucky enough to encounter one, run, as its bites are lethal to the average youngster.'"
"You heard him!" barked Isabella. "Retreat!"
The five of them ran away, deeper into the woods, with the jackalope in hot pursuit.
"This way!" shouted Dipper, pointing in one direction.
The group started down that dirt path, but they were quickly cut off by a smaller, albeit just as fierce-looking, jackalope.
"Let's try the next one over!" suggested Isabella.
Isabella led them along that clearing, but there was a third jackalope awaiting them there. It took a swipe at the kids with its long arm, scattering the quintet.
"Dipper!" shouted Mabel. "I don't think they're cute anymore!"
"We need to get away from them!" exclaimed Isabella.
Dipper agreed. Luckily, he saw a hiding place up ahead.
"Cave! Up on the left! We should be safe there!"
He went in first, and the girls followed him. Dipper urged them to stay quiet as they listened for the jackalopes. He spotted a partial shadow of the one of them coming into view just near the cave entrance. But it never got any closer, as it ran off in a different direction, away from the cave. Once it was gone, they all breathed a sigh of relief.
"Talk about a close call," Dipper said.
Suddenly, there was a chattering noise in the cave, spooking him.
"AH!"
A few seconds later, Isabella illuminated the underground passage with a flashlight that she just happened to have on her. Aiming it in front of her, she found footprints similar in size to the ones left near the Mystery Shack. A half-dozen paw prints or so down the short trail led to the prints' owner… a jackalope. It hissed at the sight of bright light shining its way.
"Another one! We should get out before he calls the others…"
Dipper was giving sound advice, yet Isabella's instincts were telling her not to listen to him. The young jackalope was not charging towards them to attack; nor was he trying to scare them into opening a path so he could escape. It was just staying put, in the back of the cave.
Isabella began slowly approaching the creature.
"I wouldn't do that," warned Dipper.
"Yeah!" Mabel nodded in agreement. "If he bites you, you might turn into a VAMPIRE!"
"Mabel, that's bats… and also fantasy!"
"No, it's not, Dip- oh, yeah, right, bats make vampires. Yeah, my mistake."
Isabella completed her approach to the young jackalope, walking gingerly so as not to scare it. Once she got to it, she carefully knelt down next to him.
"Hello, little fella! What's wrong?"
She stared into his eyes for a few moments, and then started scanning his body. Isabella shined the light down onto his left knee, and found a sizable bruise just under it, on his lower leg.
"Aw, are you hurt? You must've banged your leg against a tree or something, running away from us. You poor thing. See, this is what scaring others gets you. Nothing but trouble."
The young creature's facade softened, and he nodded in agreement with Isabella's assessment.
"Tee hee," cooed Mabel, walking over and squatting down in front of the young jackalope. "You're a wascally wabbit, aren't you?"
"Technically, it's only a half rab-"
But before Isabella could finish correcting Mabel, two childish screams filled the air.
"CANDY AND GRENDA!" yelled Mabel, the first to finally realize the two were not with them.
"They're still out there!" assumed Dipper. "With the other jackalopes!"
Mabel grabbed the youngling and ran out of the cave, towards the frightened screams of her friends.
"MABEL TO THE RESCUE!"
"MABEL!" both Dipper and Isabella yelled, following her. "WAIT!"
It did not take long for the trio to locate Candy and Grenda, whose backs were against the wall - literally - as they were surrounded by rocky walls on three sides and all the other jackalopes were blocking their only means of escape.
"This was not the silent feeling of release I was expecting for my end," proclaimed Candy, shaking as she hugged Grenda in fear.
"Grenda agrees with what you say. Not the way!" Grenda said in turn, returning the hug likewise to Candy.
"We've got to do something!" Isabella and Dipper shouted, again, at the same time.
The two stared at each other briefly, then got to work coming up with a rescue plan. But Mabel did not bother to wait, as she ran forward, yelling a battle cry as she sprinted with the young, injured jackalope cradled in her arms.
"MABEL!" Dipper cried out to his twin sister. "What's she doing?"
Mabel ran up to the jackalopes, who turned around to face her after picking up the scent of both the 12-year old girl and the child she was carrying.
"I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!"
She put the youngling down on the ground and then took three steps back. She held out her arms spread eagle, as if offering herself up. The largest jackalope hopped towards her, as Dipper sprinted in and got in front of his sister.
"You want her, ugly? YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST!"
The eight-foot fatherly jackalope appeared poised to oblige Dipper's request. He then picked the child up by the scruff of his neck and placed him on the next-largest jackalope, which was the mother, before beginning to berate the child. That set off the mother, who yelled back at the father for his actions. They continued to squabble as they hopped off, with the rest of the family departing with them.
Once the creatures had all disappeared from sight, Mabel embraced Dipper in a tender hug. Candy and Grenda walked over and expressed their gratitude, repeating Dipper's name over and over again, in a cheering fashion. Isabella stood back for a moment and watched the group celebrate.
After seeing Mabel's spontaneous act, I knew there was only one course of action to take.
"Mabel Pines?" Isabella called out, getting the brunette's attention. "There's one thing I have to say to you…"
"WE'RE GOING TO BE FIRESIDE GIRLS!" Mabel screamed.
Mabel, Candy, and Grenda all toasted in success, gently tapping their punch-filled styrofoam cups together. They then promptly spilled about half of it on the floor as they squealed in celebration. A few feet away, Isabella was on her laptop, filling in her part of the troop formation application as she sat on the floor.
"ISABELLA! JOIN US!" the girls shouted at her.
"In a minute! Just gotta finish this up."
As Isabella did just that, Dipper trotted over to chat with her.
"I'm a little bummed we couldn't keep the jackalope. At least until I had enough to fill out a page or two of my journal, but, heh heh, I'm glad you're letting her form a troop. Still not quite sure what a Fireside Girl is, but as long as Mabel's happy, then so am I."
"Aww! She's lucky to have a supportive brother like you."
Dipper smiled. "Thanks!"
It was a heartwarming moment… for about all of two seconds.
"Oh!" Mabel said with a childish giggle. "Looks like Dipper's got a new GIRLFRIEND!"
Both Dipper and Isabella were taken aback.
"She's not my…"
"I already have a…"
Dipper got up, determined to squash the ruse right there and then. He was rewarded with a pillow to the face. He quickly grabbed one of his own and tried to get his sister back. Mabel, naturally, ducked, and it hit Grenda in her side.
"PILLOW FIGHT!"
Grenda and Candy each got their own weapon of fluffy goodness and suddenly there were feathers flying everywhere. Isabella kept her distance… until an errant throw sent a pillow flying into her face.
"Ooh, you're all gonna get it now!" she said in a half-mocking, half-threatening tone.
Isabella leaped into the fray, saving sending off the application until the melee was over.
It looks like I'm welcoming Mabel and her girls to the Fireside Girls in style… with a good old fashioned pillow fight! Talk about spontaneous initiation rites.
Oh, and if anyone asks… one, I won, and two… well, there's no two 'cause there's nothing between us. Nothing!
Anyway, congratulations Mabel, and hopefully the next time I see you, you'll be in uniform as the proud leader of a spanking new Fireside Girls' troop! Do us proud, girl!
End Entry
Next Week: Spring has sprung, and Ginger has finally drummed up the courage to formally ask Baljeet to go steady. But is it worth the risk, considering she's been rejected once before? Find out in the next "Fireside Diaries" episode!