Chapter 17

APOV

I think my apologizing brought him out of his thoughts and he finally realized that I left almost a year ago. I could see his face contort to anger. I was glad that I had talked to Boyko about him finishing early and taking the next day off.

"Sam, I know you are about to blow up but can we go over to your house so I can explain, please." I say as innocently as I can. "I got Boyko to give you the rest of the day off today and tomorrow, I hope you don't mind." I was unsure of myself. He looked between Jackson and me.

"Alright." He said defeated and handed Jackson back to me.

"So I'll meet you at your apartment, same place?" I ask.

"Yeah." He runs his hands through his hair.

Jackson had fallen asleep on the ride over the Sam's place, I grabbed the baby carrier that attached to the car seat and just kept him in there so I wouldn't wake him. I found the extra key Sam keeps hidden away and let myself in. I could tell Sam wasn't there yet. I sat down and Jackson was staring to get fussy. I looked at the clock and saw that it was his lunch time. I picked him up and lifted my shirt up to feed him and that was when Sam came in.

"Oh, hey." I stated slightly embarrassed. "He is hungry."

"I think he got your appetite Drea." Sam said with a smile.

"Andy. It's Andy now." I corrected him

"Andy." He repeated and came down to sit across from me. He turned on the TV and instead of looking at it he looked at me or more specifically Jackson feeding. I blushed under his gaze but I don't think he noticed. Jackson finished feeding and I burped him and he fell right back to sleep. Once I sat back down I knew things were just beginning.

"I don't know where to begin." I stated.

"How about the beginning," He suggested. "And no lies please." I nodded.

"My name is Andrea McNally, I go by Andy now, my father in Tommy McNally, your old Training Officer and my mother is a selfish bitch who left use about 5 years ago when I was 14 and I never talk about her anymore. I am 19 years old now. Back in October when you arrested me I think that was the first time I ever felt whole. You were a young eager rookie who played by the rules. After I was arrested Boyko wanted to talk to me, apparently him and my dad made a deal that nothing would go on my permanent record as long as I promised to go to the Police Academy after high school, so I agreed to it. The next week my dad was on this prison transport for a week and that was when um. You know." I said and nodded my head over to Jackson. "I had the week off of school because I was heading to an elite exchange program in Italy."

"Wow." He commented.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you I was going but as soon as I left I realized it was my biggest mistake of my life to leave you. I focused on my studies and I changed. I decided I wouldn't be Drea anymore but I was now Andy, an independent woman who followed the rules but still had a bad ass side." He laughed at that.

"So about three months into Italy I got the worst stomach bug so I went to the pharmacy to set out to get Pepto Bismol but this pharmacist kept insisting I was pregnant so I took a test. Three of them to be exact. I went to the doctor and she confirmed I was pregnant. I knew if I told you then It would break you. I called my dad and he was saying how broken his rookie was and I couldn't harm you anymore. So I ran away from my problems. When I was 20 weeks pregnant school was finished early in Italy and I moved to Ottawa, I didn't tell anyone except for Mark and Rhys. They helped me get everything ready for the baby. At 34 weeks I was in a grocery store and I went into labor, it was the scariest thing I ever did Sam, he was born premature but everything was okay with him. I wanted you to be there so bad." I explained to him, I was crying now.

"His name is Jackson Samuel Swarek McNally; he was born on June 10th at 6:30 in the afternoon. He was 18 inches long and weighed 6 pounds. He is the best thing that ever happened to me because no matter what I will always have a part of you with me." I say the last part quietly and I end up sobbing. Sam comes over and wraps his arms around me.

"Sh. Andy. It's okay." He rocks me back and forth.

"I …love you … Sam." I hiccup out. He kisses my head while I bury myself deeper into his arms.

"I love you too Andy McNally, you and Jackson are my life. I was never whole without you here." He said. I slowly start to calm down. After what felt like an hour I lean my head up.

"I am sorry; I got your shirt all wet." I say while fingering his shirt.

"It's okay." He placed his finger under my chin and lifts it up. "You are the mother of my child, you can cry over every one of my shirts if you want to." I stare into his eyes and lean forwards. He leans down and our lips meet for the first time in 9 months. I place my hand under his shirt when we hear the shrill cry of a baby.

"Life as a parent!" I say and get up to grab Jackson. I snuggle into Sam's arm and he brings me closer with Jackson in between us. My life is complete.