TWENTY-NINE
When her mother died—well, at the time, she didn't have time to process and mourn. She was just too busy. It wasn't until things settled down, a few weeks after the fact, that it hit her.
But when it did, she was inconsolable for a long time; it was a blessing in disguise that she was isolated from Kirika and Shirabe.
Afterwards, she had to settle for having mementos of her mother whenever she felt the need to have her near.
When her sister died, she spent every subsequent moment of her life, up until she met Tsubasa, playing that awful moment over and over again in her head.
Guilt and anger and depression and fear roiled in her chest for a long time. Too long. It tore her up inside and outside.
She tried to become a person who could live in the world that had killed Serena—but she couldn't maintain that persona very well. It was just an act, something to help her be strong without her sister.
Now, with Elfnein sobbing in her arms, she tries to remember what had helped her cope with the aching loss.
Obviously what she had longed for most was the embrace of her mother, the embrace of her sister.
Honestly, she still longs for them, even though her life no longer revolves around them.
But this little person, clinging to remnants of her beloved father—what words can she give her that will alleviate that pain?
She doesn't know.
All she can do is hug her so tightly it hurts to breathe.
Twenty-nine years ago her mother saved her and her sister from the slums of Warsaw.
Now it's her turn to save Elfnein. She's not going to let Elfnein's earnest soul succumb to despair like she herself had.
"You're not alone, Elfnein," she says into soft blonde curls. "Not now, not ever again."
a/n: Another sad chapter. I might update again later today, when I get back from shopping with my dad, and I /swear/ it'll be a happier chapter.