Previously: Bingley tells Darcy his dilemma, Elise and J.W. discover Fran is up to something.
12
"Elise, honey, calm down. What is it that you're getting so worked up about right now?"
Fran's somewhat patronising tone only served to fuel rather than abate her stepdaughter's anger. Elsie turned to face her older sister in search of support.
"Jen you'll never guess what I just discovered" she said, with false cheer. "According to Just Jared, you and Jun Wei here are engaged to be married. And more horrifically still, myself and Nicoll Collins are too be married too!" she announced, with a look of utter disgust.
"Of course, it all sounded absolutely fantastical to me, and I said to myself 'oh Elise, don't take this personally, tabloids these days just publish anything with no basis for it all' and then BAM! I find a video of Fran feeding the tabloids some shpiel about how she's making us WEDDING DRESSES!" Elise was starting to become more and more worked up. J.W. placed his hand on her arm in an attempt to calm her down, but when she turned to look at I'm, eyes blazing, he realised his effort was in vain.
Jen groaned loudly, a sound rather uncharacteristic of her. "Oh gosh. Fran why do I get the feeling that the brilliant idea you had that you were just about to tell me about and what Elise discovered are related?"
Fran squealed loudly and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Elise, hon, you are blowing everything out of proportion! Just wait until I fill you in on this idea I had. It is the plan of the millennium! No, wait! It's the plan of the century!"
J.W. interjected solemnly, "Actually Fran, a century is-" he abruptly dropped what he was saying when he was given a glare from Elise and waved off by an unInterested Fran.
"Pray, do tell us about this brilliant plan of your's Fran," Elise said sarcastically.
"Well they other day I was getting this amazing Indian head massage at the spa- by the way, Ellie you should totally book an appointment for one- you're starting to get frown lines! And you're still so young! It would just be terrible for you to have wrinkly skin before you're even 30! Have you been using night cream?"
"Yes, yes, Fran I have. Why don't you finish enlightening us about your idea?" Elise answered hurriedly, trying to get her stepmother back on track so that she could find out what was going on.
"Well anyway, as I was getting this massage, I was thinking to myself, I should start developing a new fashion line! Especially after my summer collection was so popular! And I suddenly remembered watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' on TLC- oh by the way, what is with everyone talking about that little Honey Boo Boo girl?! She's not even a cute kid! When Alyssa was 3 I entered her in a beauty pageant and of course my baby girl won! She was so adorable! Kids these days are getting uglier-"
"Fran, your idea?" Elise reminded.
"Yes, well. I was watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' and there was this absolutely stunning Fenoli gown that this girl was trying on. So beautiful, loads and loads of ruffles and layers and it was just stunning. And then I thought to myself, that dress is so gorgeous, but it just is so... plain! And understated! How would the bride get all the attention with a dress like that? And just like that, BAM! I realised what was missing! Diamontés! With a little extra sparkle that dress would have been perfect, don't you think?"
"Yes Fran," J.W. agreed, nodding emphatically.
"Anyways, I said to myself 'Fran, you have to put this fashion sense of yours to use! You can't let millions of women out there, in the world, walk down the aisle on their special day in second rate dresses!"
"God forbid it," Elise added sarcastically.
"So, I decided that this year, I am going to start my own line of FrancissaBennet wedding gowns! I know you're wondering what this has to do with you girls, so let me explain the second part of this idea of mine! Well, as you know, to me there is nothing more important in this world than my family, and my girls," she stated solemnly.
"Except Juicy Couture," Elise added mentally.
"I knew I could never ever let my beautiful baby girls walk down the aisle in some trashy minimalist dress," she explained, with a loud sniff and her hand placed over her heart. "So I thought, what better way to show my girls how much I love them than to design their wedding dresses for them!"
"But Fran...none of us are getting married any time soon," Jane said.
"I know! And that was the problem! So I knew I would have to help you guys find husbands. And then I thought to myself, 'why Fran, this is absolutely perfect! You could help girls find the right guys and the right dresses! And it would perfect for reality TV!" And my top priority was you girls. I just knew you'd love the men I chose for you! Gosh Jenine, I don't know why I never thought of setting you up with Jun Wei before! And Elise! You and Nicoll are just the cutest couple ever!"
Elise stood there with her mouth agape unable to believe her ears. Her stepmother was trying to set her up with Nicoll Collins so she could have a televised wedding in one of the most garish wedding dresses on the face if the earth. Fran was taking Evil Stepmother to a whole new level.
"Fran, you're trying to set me and Elise up with so that you can make a TV show based on our weddings?" Jen said slowly, the insanity of her stepmother's plan sinking in.
"Oh, honey, you're making it sound so selfish! I'm doing this for you girls!"
"This is insane," Elise thought aloud.
"You just need some time to let it all sink in, Hon'," Fran reassured.
"You thought that out of your daughter's... Jenine was the right one for me?" J.W. said, sounding somewhat affronted.
"Well honey, who else would I choose? You're going to be a doctor, that's absolutely perfect for Jennie!"
"Oh my God." Elise dropped down to the floor, sitting cross-legged, her elbows rested on her knees and her head drooped and her hands covering her eyes.
"What's the matter Ellie? You don't need to stress about wedding planning or anything! I'll sort it all out for you!"
"Fran, I don't think that's what she's upset about. I know you just wanted to help, but Fran, these are the kind of decisions we would like to make ourselves. And neither of us is ready to get married at the moment."
"Aw Jennie, but you girls so clearly need my help! Matters of the heart can be so difficult and I just want you girls to make good matches! I know a lot about this!"
Elise snorted loudly. "Yeah, clearly. You and Dad clearly have a great deal of marital felicity. That must be why he's moved into his office."
"Elise!" Jen scolded,
Fran's face fell and she sniffled loudly. "Elise, I don't know why you're getting so snippy about this! Is Nicoll not what you wanted? It doesn't have to be Nicoll... Jenine how do you feel about Nicoll? Elise, I guess you could take J.W. instead of Jane having him...?" Fran suggested, sounding anxious.
"Why would you put me with Jane of all your daughters?" J.W. winged again.
"Shut up, Jun Wei! Fran, the problem isn't Nicoll! Well, actually, he's part of the problem. But the main problem is that you are batshit crazy!" Elise shouted standing up and storming out of the room.
Fran looked from J.W. to Jenine, shell shocked. "I really had no idea she found Nicoll so repulsive! They seemed to be getting along so well! And gosh, they were so cute together!"
J.W. smiled weakly at Jenine, suddenly feeling even more uncomfortable. He backed out of the room slowly, as if wary of being pounced on, and waved awkwardly at Jen and Fran before disappearing out the door.
Jen took Fran by the hand and led her to sit down on one of the benches at the side of the gym. "Fran, I know you were really excited about planning weddings for us, but I have to tell you, neither me nor Elise are ready for marriage yet! I know that when the time comes though, we'd both love to have you plan our weddings and make our dresses." Jen knew Elise would never agree to Fran's involvement in her wedding, but in the interest of keeping Fran happy, she wasn't against stretching the truth.
Fran smiled happily, and gave Jen an exaggerated wink. "Oh, I get it. You girls need some more time to sow your wild oats!"
"Fran, I don't think... uh, never mind."
"Hmm? Ok. Gosh all the negativity from your sister has just fried my nerves! I'm thinking I could do with another of those Indian head massages! Would you like to come with me to the spa?"
"Oh I'd love to, but I've got to get packing. I'm flying out the day after tomorrow! I've got so much to get done before then," Jen explained.
"Oh, okay honey, I'll see you later then!" Fran smiled and headed off to find Hill so that he could take her to the spa.
Jen stayed sat down, shocked at Fran's scheme and worried about what her sister would do in her moments of anger.
"Um, hello?" Carla said groggily, having just awoken from a nap. She looked at the strange man on her doorstep through the screen on the intercom.
"Is this the Lucas residence?" he replied, beaming at her through the screen in a way that she found more than a little scary.
"Yes it is..." she trailed off waiting for him to explain who he was.
He looked at her expectantly. "This is Nicoll Collins. I'm looking for Elise Bennet. I was led to believe she was paying a visit to you."
"Oh... She's not here..."
"Oh that's ok, I'll just come in and wait for her."
"Uh…"
"May I know who I'm speaking to?"
"Carla Lucas. Listen, I don't think Elise is coming over today..."
"I'm fairly sure she is."
"Um... Ok then... I'll buzz you in."
Carla pressed the key sign on the intercom to open the gate to the strange man. She then grabbed her mobile from next to her pillow and dialled Elise. She waited patiently as the phone rung, but there was no answer. So she picked up her phone and went downstairs, deciding to try against she didn't manage to get rid of the strange man. Throwing on some more respectable clothes, she went downstairs to find Nicoll Collins with his nose in a bouquet of flowers in the hall.
"Uh... those are plastic."
"Hmm?" he replied, sounding surprised. "Plastic? Wow! They look quite real! In fact Cathy Derbug, who I'm interviewing on my show, as I'm sure you know, has flowers just like these growing in her garden!"
"She has plastic flowers in her garden?"
"Oh, of course not! Hers are quite real!"
"How delightful." Carla led the way into the parlour and sat down. There was awkward silence. Carla inspected the pattern on the ceiling for several minutes. She then moved on to examining her chipped blue nail polish.
"I sense a tension in the room, and I'm pretty sure I know what it is," Collins announced.
Carla sat up in her chair, surprised at the interjection.
He continued, "You know who I am, yet you are embarrassed to admit that you recognise because you don't want to seem like too exuberant a fan."
"Huh?"
"It's ok, don't feel embarrassed. I appreciate the admiration of all of my fans!"
"Your fans…?"
"Yes. My fans, fans of my show, what's the difference?"
"What show?" Carla asked, genuinely puzzled.
"My talk show? Surely you know of it! 'Nicoll Collins Interviews Famous Personalities in Various Domains'."
He looked so affronted that Carla felt it best to lie. "Oh!" she exclaimed, her false surprise would have been obvious to anyone one with social skills. "Actually I do think I might have heard of it…"
"Yes, most people who keep on top of media on goings are aware of my show. It is a leader in the talk show field. In fact, my show was the reason I was summoned over here from San Francisco in the first place. You know of Francissa Bennet, of course? Your friend's mother? Oh, of course you do. Your family is closely connected to hers. Well she specifically asked me to come out to meet Elise, as she thought we could maybe foster a relationship. You know… of an intimate nature."
Carla visibly cringed. "So Fran wanted to set you up with Ellie because she's a fan of your talk show?"
"Well… yes… but also no. Francissa wanted for Elise and I to marry so that the company that produces 'Nicoll Collins Interviews Famous Personalities in Various Domains' could produce a reality TV series based on our wedding for which she would provide the dresses. This would help her fashion line and also allow Elise to get some of the public recognition she has been lacking."
"Fran was arranging your marriage to Elise so that she could base a reality TV show on it to help publicise her fashion line?"
"Well… yes. But also… no. I was in fact looking for someone in the public eye to… um… date… so that we could then start our own production company for several TV shows. My celebrity status as a result of my current show and this person being someone well recognised would help lay the foundation for this plan."
"So essentially, both you and Fran were using Elise to further your careers?"
"No, most certainly not! I would not hide my motivations from my intended if Elise and I became more serious. In the end though, considering the divorce statistics of this day and age, is business not as sound, if not more sound a foundation for marriage as some fickle infatuation? Anyway, I'm sure it could grow into something more."
Carla nodded mutely, contemplating Collins' logic. While initially finding him entirely foolish and fanciful, she could understand his rather desperate drive to further his career ambitions.
"Anyhow, it does not look like Elise will be arriving here anytime soon. I shall perhaps pay a visit to her home this evening. It was good talking to you, Carla," he announced standing up and walking briskly to the front door.
Carla waved goodbye at him and then made her way upstairs. She collapsed into a beanbag with a book Elise had recently leant her but quickly discovered her concentration was elsewhere.
Nicoll thought it was worth calling Elise one more time in an attempt to learn her whereabouts. He almost didn't notice when he heard the dial tone stop until his ears were assaulted by a furious sounding voice at the other end of the phone line.
"I don't know whether or not you were party to my evil step-mother's scheme and frankly I don't care, but Nicoll Collins don't ever bother calling, emailing, tweeting or anything-ing me again because I will never ever marry you. And you can take 'Nicoll Collins Interviews Famous Personalities in Various Domains' and shove it where the sun don't shine!"
Before he could formulate a response, she had hung up.
Nicoll looked sadly at his phone, more upset by the now failed business scheme than by the loss of a love interest.
Hours later, after re-watching one of Coach Cathy's backstroke races from her heyday, Nicoll's phone rang. He eyed it hopefully before answering.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Nicoll."
"Carla! How pleasant to speak to you again!"
"Indeed. Listen Nicoll, I just wanted to ask you how you would feel about setting up a production company which also produced investigative journalism documentaries?"
"Exactly what did you have in mind?"
A/N:
So as it turned out, med school was in fact crazy busy. Early Merry Christmas! I'll try to keep up the momentum over Christmas break, but you have to know a lot of stuff to be a doctor. My beta is brilliant. Please do let me know what you think of this story!