Previously: Charlie heads off after Jen, Darcy and Elise look for a place.

15

"Elise, are you sure this is a good idea?" Darcy asked for the four hundredth time.

"Yeeeees, how many times are you going to ask me this, Darcy?" Elise responded huffing out a breath exasperatedly.

"It's just that I don't think this is a very rational decision! Why would you not look at the place first?"

"We've seen the pictures online!"

"And I've seen pictures of George Bush's bikini body online and let me tell you there is no way his tits look like that in real life."

Elise rolled her eyes. "Right… and, tell me, Oh Expert On Edited Internet Pictures, did those pictures of the apartment look doctored to you?"

"That's not the point. The point is that they could have been and that it is extremely dodgy that the lease isn't even being signed at the apartment."

"She has a sick baby, Darcy! Have a heart!"

It was Darcy's turn to roll his eyes. "Elise, exactly how much experience do you have in apartment hunting?"

"I'll have you know, I have enough! I was apartment hunting in San Diego when we visited."

"Yes, and I was the one asking all the important questions."

"I suppose that's what you were doing if asking all the important questions is the same as being anal retentive."

Exasperated, Darcy covered his face with his hands. "Ugh, Elise. I'm just trying to help you!"

"Yes, that's brilliant, Darcy, but I didn't ask for your help!" she replied, sounding slightly shrill. "You're supposed to be body guarding, not soliciting. Can you please just do that instead?"

Darcy's jaw tightened as he closed his mouth, resolving to let Elise stew in her own mess, a mess which he was certain she was about to dive headfirst into. He was more than mildly offended that she thought of him as nothing more than an employee. He had recently begun to feel a sense of camaraderie between them, but it seemed Elise did not feel the same.

"Hill, why have we stopped?" Elise asked, suddenly noticing the limo hadn't moved for several minutes.

"We're at the address you gave me, Little Miss. In Highland Park."

"Oh," Elise responded dumbly, suddenly glad she hadn't opted to drive there herself. To begin with she surely would have had a crash what with Darcy's incessant complaining and on top of that she had no idea where they were and would have been completely unable to find her way around this area.

Before long, Hill was at Elise's door, helping her out. Darcy soon joined her on the pavement. They walked up the short driveway and rang the bell of the house they were in front of.

A stocky woman who seemed to be in her late 30s answered the door.

"Can I help you?" she asked, looking at them slightly puzzled.

"Um, hi, Mrs Phillips?" Elise asked.

"Yeah, that's right I'm Natasha Phillips," she responded, nodding assuredly.

"Oh we're here about the property you're letting near Vernon?"

"Oh! Right, the two bedroom apartment?"

"Yeah, that's right!" Elise nodded. "I spoke to you over the phone earlier."

"Yes, that's right, I remember now. Why don't you come inside and we can start sorting things out?" she asked, moving from the doorway and leading them into the house. Darcy nearly tripped over several stuffed animals and plastic telephone on his way in. Elise noticed his disgruntled appearance and rolled her eyes, while subtly shaking her head, resulting in her almost tripping over a model car.

"Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess. My kid's been sick as I told you on the phone, and it's just been really hectic and crazy," Mrs Phillips explained.

"Oh dear! That must be really tough!" Elise responded sympathetically.

"Yeah it's a real pain, honestly," Mrs Phillips replied as she led them into a living room. "Go ahead and sit down," she instructed.

Elise took a seat on the couch and Darcy eyed the floral cushions dubiously in search of baby puke, before finally settling himself beside Elise.

"So, you guys wanted to sign the lease for the apartment?" Mrs Phillips asked.

"Well, actually, we'd really been hoping to see the place first?" Elise asked, ignoring Darcy's triumphant smirk as she asked. She had decided to ask one last time in an effort to appease her soon-to-be housemate, though she was doubtful that the result would be any different.

"Oh, yes I can understand that, but honestly I really can't afford to leave my son today, what with him being sick and all," Mrs Phillips said. "You're welcome to wait a few days until he feels better and I can get out and show you the place, but see, the thing is, I can't make any guarantees that the place will still be available by then. I've had so many people visiting the past couple of weeks, and there's actually another young couple who'd said they just needed to get together the money for the deposit and then they'd be back to sign."

"Oh, we're not a couple," Darcy interjected.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, I just assumed!" Mrs Phillips said, looking chastised.

Elise glared at Darcy, annoyed at him for butting in.

"Anyway, the pictures you saw online are very recent photos of the place, and it looks almost exactly like that. Like I said, I'm more than happy to show it to you, but that just won't be possible today! I almost called to cancel you coming here today. Little Benji has just been so unwell."

Elise made a sympathetic noise while Darcy rolled his eyes shamelessly.

The phone rang and Mrs Phillips excused herself and scuttled off to answer it before it woke the baby.

"What?" Elise demanded irritably.

"Nothing., I didn't say anything," he responded collectedly.

"You didn't have to say anything, your grimace is pretty indicative of your thoughts."

Darcy rolled his eyes once more. He was about to retort when Mrs Phillips' footsteps became more audible and her conversation could be heard.

"Yes, actually there's been quite a lot of interest in that apartment. I've actually got a couple here right now thinking about signing the lease." There was a pause as the person at the other end responded. Darcy rolled his eyes as she called them a couple again.

"Oh, right. Yes I can understand but unfortunately I can't make it over there to show you the place right now, but if you want to wait a day or two…?"

"Oh, ok! That's great. Well let me just finish speaking to this couple here right now, and if they're not taking the place I'll call you back and you can come right over!"

Elise sat forward in her seat, looking more resolved.

Mrs Phillips came back into the room still holding the cordless phone in her hand. "Well, that was another lady interested in letting out the place. If you guys have any doubts, I know she'd be happy to go for the place. I don't want to put you under any pressure, but you can understand…"

"That's ok! We'll sign the lease!" Elise interjected.

"Oh! That's great! I'll just go get out all the papers then," Mrs. Phillips said triumphantly, scuttling off once more.

After various documents and cheques were signed, Hill drove Elise and Darcy to their new apartment. The journey was silent, Darcy struggling to keep his expression nonchalant but failing and instead scowling out the window, while Elise glowered at the back of his head.

Hill stopped the car and the pair climbed out. Darcy eyed the building suspiciously but had to concede that from the outside he could see no fault. The green awning at the front of the building looked tacky in his opinion, but aside from that, as far as he could see, the building was sound. Elise pulled out the envelope she had been given from her purse that contained the keys to the house.

"Ours is flat 6," she announced.

"What level is that on?" Darcy wondered aloud.

"Not sure, let's take the stairs so we have a better idea," she instructed.

The pair ascended the stairs and soon discovered that they were to be located on the third floor. Elise walked up to the cream painted door with a gold '6' it and pushed the key into the lock. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open to reveal their new home. It took a bit more force than she had anticipated. The door was stiff and the brown carpeted floor caused friction, inhibiting its movement.

Darcy found himself smirking triumphantly at the brushing sound made by the door against the carpet and the difficulty Elise was facing. He quickly caught himself, however, and schooled his features into disinterest.

When the door finally opened enough to reveal the living area of the flat, two pairs of eyes examined the surroundings warily. Darcy was pleased to discover a largely stain-free brown carpet and unblemished hole-free whitish walls. Looking into the kitchen he saw that the stove and fridge were present although he was most assuredly going to check that they were in fact functioning.

Elise on the other hand was appalled. Where was the gorgeous maroon leather sofa she had seen in the photos online? What had happened to the wooden coffee table complete with a variety of books on Amazonian wild life? Why was there no toaster?

"Oh my god! Where is all the furniture? I'm calling up Mrs. Phillips right now! Maybe someone robbed the place!"

Darcy looked doubtful, but said nothing as Elise rummaged in her massive handbag for her mobile and then started aggressively tapping keys.

She raised the phone to her ear and Darcy could hear the continuous ringing until finally there was the message of an answering machine. Determinedly, Elise tried the number again, and once more was unsuccessful, with there being no answer.

"Let me borrow your phone, Darcy," she demanded.

He acquiesced, although fairly certain she would not be getting a hold of Mrs Phillips in the near future. This time when Elise dialled, there was no ringing and the voicemail message came up straight away. Clearly, Mrs Phillips had shut off her phone.

"ARGH!" Elise roared in frustration. Darcy tried his best to look more sympathetic and less smug. In actuality, compared to the wreckage he had been envisioning the entire time, the reality of their new apartment seemed rather pleasant to him.

"I'm pretty sure this is illegal! We signed a contract! This is a violation!" Elise exclaimed, her face flushed.

Darcy remaining calm patted her shoulder gently. "Here, why don't you let me see the contracts you signed?"

"Why? What are you going to do with them?"

"I've had some experience looking at legal-type paperwork before, just let me see if I can spot anything."

Elise began rummaging once more through her bag and retrieved the envelope containing the various documents. She pushed it at him aggressively, so much so that he feared death by paper-cut.

He began opening the envelope while Elise stared at his hands as if waiting for some miracle to emerge from the envelope. He pulled out the papers and began leafing through, finding the inventory Elise had signed amongst the papers. Reading through it intensely, he couldn't help the look that etched his face as he realised her mistake.

"What?" Elise demanded, "Why are you making that face?"

"Elise, did you read all these papers properly?"

"Of course I did," she replied defiantly. "I read every single stupid clause in the lodger's agreement I signed and I read the entire first page of the inventory, but by the end of it the words 'chair' and 'table' had lost their meaning and it seemed to me that the furniture we needed was listed so I skimmed the last page. But there was definitely lots of furniture listed on the first page. I mean that maroon leather couch, it was most definitely on that list."

"Yeah, here's the thing though," Darcy replied, pointing at some of the smaller text on the second page of the inventory, "the first page, that you read properly, was the original list of furniture, but if you look at the date here, that must have been the full list last time she rented it out. It looks like her last tenant might have screwed her over a little bit, because the revised list," he said, pointing to a date on the second page, "is noticeably shorter."

Elise's eyes started to well up as her frustration mounted. Now it seemed, as much as she wanted to, she could not blame anyone else, she herself was at fault. Darcy had warned her numerous times about being very careful, but she had been so sure of herself, and so desperate to be rid of Fran. She had headed her father's words of advice about always reading documents carefully, but clearly not well enough. In skimming just 1 or 2 pages out of 20 while carefully reading the rest, she had still managed to find herself in this situation.

She was furious with herself, but at the same time she wanted to punch Darcy for being such a know-it-all. She could see he was trying to help now, but she was annoyed that he had been right to begin with. She was irate with Mrs Phillips, who sooner or later would be getting a piece of Elise's mind. She was still angry with Fran, for driving her out of her own home in the first place. And she was vexed with her father, who seemed to have gotten his own stupid way in the end. He hadn't wanted to her to move out, she had gone against him, and now, it wasn't working out.

Darcy was eyeing her worriedly. He really did not like it when women cried. He was always at a loss as to how to handle it, and usually ended up patting them in what was supposed to be a comforting manner but was more akin to the way one might pat an overly hyperactive dog whose attention he was not desirous of.

Unfortunately for him, Elise was not succeeding in reigning in the tears. His shoulders slumped resignedly, and he reached over to pat her back. Elise, who was less sad, and more furious, was not in the least comforted by his gesture. She gave him an incredulous look, and he quickly retracted his hand fearfully. His enthusiastic patting hadn't worked particularly well in the past, but with Georgie, who was his main source of experience, she usually cried until she was exhausted and then promptly fell asleep, at which point he could carry her to bed quite capably. Elise was throwing him a curveball.

He stood up abruptly. "All is not lost Elise," he said in an uncomfortably formal manner. "We haven't even seen the bedrooms and bathroom yet! It might not be so bad., It's the couch and coffee table obviously missing so far." He started to walk ahead, towards the two doors in front of him.

"And the toaster…" Elise added forlornly.

"Oh. Yes, that too," he agreed.

Opening the door to the room on the left, he discovered it wasn't in such bad shape. There was a double bed, a matching dresser and even a matching nightstand. He didn't notice anything glaringly wrong. He left her to inspect the room, and exited, heading over to the other room on the right. This second room was smaller, but it had been expected, even from the photos online. There was a single bed with a nightstand and a small wardrobe. He expected this would be his room, and while he couldn't claim to be thrilled, he wasn't sorely disappointed either. He turned to find Elise in the doorway.

"See, my room isn't so bad either!" he announced cheerily.

"Your room?" she asked.

"Well, I assumed this room would be mine unless you preferred it?"

Elise sniffed. She felt guilty for not having listened to him and for now forcing him into this less than stellar apartment where he was gallantly offering to take the smaller shittier room.

"Thanks, Darcy," she said softly.

He just shrugged his shoulders in response, pushing past her to inspect the bathroom. Aside from the ducky shower curtain, and some discolouration of the wall tiles, he saw no great issue there either.

He smiled, pleased that he would not have to suffer too much anyway. Couches were not essential to human life! At least they had beds.

Elise couldn't understand why Darcy seemed so blasé. At first she'd thought it was smugness, but on closer observation, although that was probably part of it, he was just being very accepting.

The ringing of their doorbell interrupted her thoughts and she almost had to laugh at its absurdly posh tone. She walked back over to find Hill at the door with what appeared to be her suitcase.

"Hilary packed it for you," he explained. "She knew how excited you were to be moving out, and she thought she'd save you some trouble and allow you to get moved in ASAP," he told her, smiling. Elise sniffled a little and threw her arms around him, while Hill tried to put down her suitcase without getting her toes.

He chuckled, "I'll let her know you appreciated it," he said, misunderstanding her emotional response to be motivated by gratitude rather than by despair.

By this time, Darcy had heard the on goings and had emerged into the living room. He smiled at Hill who was facing him and patting Elise's back gently. He retrieved the suitcase and carried it over to Elise's new room. Coming back to them, Hill stopped him saying "Actually Mr Darcy, Hilary went over to the guest house and found you were largely still living out of your suitcase, so she managed to pack you up pretty easily as well. Your suitcase and a duffel bag are still downstairs, I didn't think I could carry all up at the same time."

"Oh, wow!" Darcy said, surprised and thankful. "I'll go down and get it. Thanks so much, Mr Hill. And please thank Miss Black too, for packing it for me."

He disappeared, climbing down the stairs and spotting his suitcase at the bottom of the stairwell. He easily lifted it up, finding his duffel bag and slinging it over his shoulder as well, and started up the staircase. On the landing of the first floor, he encountered Hill leaving and thanked him once again. Hill waved off his gratitude with a promise of seeing them around. He told Darcy to tell Elise that Betty, Elise's car, was parked downstairs in their parking slot, before sidling off down the staircase.

When Darcy re-entered their apartment, he found Elise sat on the floor, where the couch would have been, staring at the wall in front of her with her phone in her lap.

"I ordered us my favourite takeout," she announced, as he walked past her with his suitcase, carrying it to his room. He grunted his acceptance. "It shouldn't be too long. I'm going to start unpacking," she said.

Darcy nodded at her, and decided to make a start unpacking his few belongings into his new room. It didn't take him long and he decided to go wash up a little in the bathroom. When he emerged, Elise was shutting the flat door. She made her was over to the couch's spot and plonked herself down with the food. He briefly wondered how long she was going to continue sitting there, on the couchless ground, before making his way over to join her.

They dug in, and with each bite, Darcy noticed Elise seemed to perk up a little. They demolished the boxes of Chinese takeout fairly easily, and the empty boxes were collected into a plastic-bag-makeshift-rubbish bin. Elise leaned back on her hands and patted her tummy contentedly.

"Ok, so I can see you're suffocating trying not to say 'I told you so' so I'm just going to come right out and say it: You were right," Elise admitted, causing Darcy to smirk triumphantly. "Maybe you should forget the body guarding stuff and work with property instead. You're clearly cut out for it."

Darcy's smile turned into a frown. "Are you saying you don't think I'm cut out for being a bodyguard?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Look at you with your macho manly man shoulders. How could I imply that?!" Elise joked.

"No, seriously though. Am I doing a bad job?" Darcy asked worriedly.

"Darcy, I was just kidding!" Elise let out a short laugh.

"I know you were before but I'm asking you seriously now, am I worse than all the other bodyguards you've had? Do I do things wrong?"

"Ok, firstly you're the only bodyguard I've had long term and I dunno, to me you seem to be doing fine. I mean you guard my physical person and on top of that you even attempt to guard my financial affairs," she said with mirth. Seeing that Darcy was still frowning, she asked, "Why are you getting your panties in a twist about this?"

"I just needed to know that I was actually properly doing the job I'm being paid to do," he explained. There was a pause during which Elise started to fold her take out box and Darcy nervously rubbed his chopsticks together before abruptly stopping, worried that he was going to start a fire.

"This is my first time..." he began to say and Elise looked up at him, a mildly puzzled expression on her face. "What I mean is, I've never done this before..." Elise continued to look lost.

"What are you trying to say Darcy? So confused right now," Elise asked.

"You're my first job."

"Oh, ok," Elise said unfazed. "I guess I'm a pretty good first job, no crazy gunmen after me or anything."

Darcy chuckled. "I may have had Bingley use a little influence on my behalf."

Elise gasped theatrically "Well, I never! You mean to say you didn't get this job on your own merit? That is outrageous!"

"It's not so bad! Bingley doesn't even have that much influence he just told our boss I was a good guy!"

"He lied on your behalf?!" she exclaimed.

"He didn't lie! I am a good guy!" Darcy announced, looking entirely serious.

Elise giggled. "I'm just teasing, Darcy," she told him, causing him to harrumph.

J.W. looked at his phone, flicking down to triple check the message he was about to send to make sure that it was somehow both nonchalant and purposeful.

'Hey. I know it hasn't been that long- only a few days actually- but I kinda miss you :P Think we can meet up again sometime soon?'

He contemplated adding kisses. He added them. Then he erased them. Then he thought, 'why the hell not?' added them, pressed send and heard the whoosh as the message disappeared off to her phone.

Then, he panicked. He contemplated sending a further explanatory message, or telling her his phone had been stolen or just any other excuse he could come up with, before he heard the chiming of a new message.

Looking down and seeing it was from her, he smiled happily before opening it up and breathing a sigh of relief.

That night, Darcy and Elise settled into freshly made beds.

Elise found that her new apartment, though not at all what she had thought she'd agreed to, was not quite so awful.

Darcy was pleased that none of his worst case scenarios had been fulfilled, and lay contentedly in his new bed, his feet sticking out over the edge just a tad.

Maybe it would all work out. Maybe the apartment would start to feel like home.

A/N:

I know I promised this sooner... but in my defence I'd just like to say I'm gonna be in 3rd Year next year! I've started the next chapter... and I feel keen to write again (ever since watching P&P in theatre!), so hopefully it won't be too long. My beta ensures that I don't publicly humiliate myself too much and for that I am eternally grateful.

I'm sorry I've gotten slack at replying to reviews, but they make me exuberantly happy. I appreciate people pointing out any flaws they see, it forces me to be more on the ball! (I got one such review last time but unfortunately I could not PM the user back with clarifications etc. so if you want them, just ask.)

Hopefully I'll be back with you guys in not too long and Ramadan Kareem :)

-N