Me and Mr. Grey…...Part 20
Brenda sat up and looked around.
She didn't see anyone, maybe he was downstairs.
She got out of bed, and looked out of the window.
It was dreary out, but that didn't stop the people of New York. Rain or shine this city never stopped.
She'd been living in New York for awhile now. Eleven months to be exact.
She reached inside her shirt, pulled out her necklace, and opened the locket.
It had a picture of Brayden inside.
It had almost been two years since he'd passed away, and there was not a day that went by, that she didn't think about him.
His smile, his beautiful black hair, those gorgeous gray eyes.
She ran her thumb across the photo. "Just like his father."
She thought back to the day she found out, he'd been killed. She was inconsolable.
It felt like someone had ripped her heart out, with their bare hands.
The pain was unbearable.
She wouldn't allow anyone to come near her. She locked herself in Brayden's room, and wouldn't come out.
There was nothing anyone could do. No one. Not Julia, Diana, Lois, or even Christian.
Christian caught the brunt of it. She was really mean to him. She told him it was his fault, and hers too, because she should have never married him.
She knew she hurt him, but at that time she didn't care. She was hurting and she wanted everyone else to hurt too.
She had practically lost her mind.
She wouldn't eat, she couldn't sleep.
It was the worse time of her life.
It resulted in her having another breakdown.
She had to be hospitalized.
It was bad.
Christian came to see her, but it was doing more harm than good, and it didn't help that she didn't really want to see him. He eventually stopped coming.
She didn't blame him.
She was brutal towards him, and now she felt guilty, because she didn't mean any of it.
It was not his fault, it was nobody's fault.
She only saw Christian once after that.
It was briefly, at the airport.
After she had gotten well enough to go home. She chose to go back to California with Julia, instead of going back home with him.
She saw Christian as she was walking through security.
That was the last time she saw him.
It took a lot of therapy, but eventually she healed, and was able to move on. Whatever that meant.
She lived in California for almost a year, and then ended up moving to New York.
She heard the door open, which snapped her back to the present.
She smiled. "Good morning."
Her smile was returned. "Good morning, fiancée."
She laughed. "Have you forgotten, I'm still legally married?"
"Not for long."
Brenda looked down at the ring on her left hand. "This ring is so beautiful."
"Are you in love with the ring or me?"
She looked up. "Both."
Jax smiled. "I'll take that."
He walked up to her and before she could object, he picked her up, and threw her over his shoulder.
She giggled. "Jaaax, put me down."
"As soon as we make it to that bed."
She laughed. "Jaaaax, put me down! Now!"
He placed her on the bed, and laid down beside her.
He kissed her. "I want you."
She ran her fingers through his short blonde hair. "I know." She leaned over and kissed his nose. "After I talk to Christian."
"Well hurry up, because I can't wait to make love to you." He kissed her. "All day." He kissed her again. "And all night."
"Me too."
Although she and Christian had not been living as husband and wife, Brenda didn't want to feel like a cheater, so she refused to have sex with Jax.
She wanted to wait until she got a legal separation.
She yawned.
Jax kissed her forehead. "Still tired?"
She nodded. "Yes, someone kept me out all night."
He smiled. "I'm sorry. Nap?"
She snuggled up against him. "Sounds like a plan..."
Brenda woke up before Jax.
He had his arms wrapped tightly around her.
She didn't move, because she didn't want to wake him.
She looked down at her ring. The ring she had just gotten last night, when Jax asked her to marry him.
She started thinking back to when she first went to California, after being released from the hospital.
She was still hurting, and still not a hundred percent.
One day Jax showed up, and never left.
He didn't want anything, or expect anything, he was just there.
He only left when he absolutely had to.
He was her rock, along with Julia, Diana, and Lois.
So, when she was better, and he decided to go back to New York, she went with him...
Brenda felt Jax move, and his lips on her neck.
"What time is your flight tomorrow?"
She turned to face him. "Six o'clock."
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"
She shook her head. "No, I'll be fine."
"I'm just worried about you. This is the first time you'll be visiting Brayden's grave."
"I'll be fine, Jax. I've come to terms with everything."
She kissed him.
"How long are you planning on staying in Seattle?"
"Not long. Two days max, and then I'm going to head to California."
Jax nodded. "When...are you planning on seeing Christian?"
"I don't know. He might not even be in town."
"Are you nervous?"
"No, not nervous. I just really want to apologize, I was horrible to him. And it's time to officially end this marriage, so we both can officially move on."
Jax nodded. "I can't wait till we *officially move on."
She grinned and caressed his cheek. "I'm going to miss you."
"Not more than I'm going to miss you."
"You could meet me in California?"
"No, I'll wait a couple of days. It's been awhile since you've seen Julia and the kids. It's important that you have some time alone with them."
She pinched his cheek. "You are so considerate."
Jax smiled. "That's me." He sat up. "We need food. I'll be back."
She smiled. "Ok."
He jumped out of bed and left the room.
Brenda pulled the covers up to her neck.
This time tomorrow, she'd be in Seattle...
Brenda flew to Seattle in Jax's private jet.
She slept the whole flight.
She called Jax, as soon as she checked into the hotel, to let him know she had arrived safely.
She showered and changed.
She rented a car, and met Diana at a restaurant.
It hadn't been that long since they'd seen each other. She'd just seen Diana a month ago in New York.
"Where's Ariyanna?"
"She's at her grandparent's house."
Brenda frowned. "I wanted to see her."
"You will, I just wanted us to be able to talk, without any distractions." Diana reached over and grabbed Brenda's left hand. "So, it's official."
"Not exactly, nothing is official until I get a divorce."
"When are you going to see Christian?"
Brenda sighed. "Today. That's if he's in town."
"Why didn't you call him?"
"I don't know. I don't even know if his number is still the same." Brenda took a sip of her wine. "Have you seen him?"
"Once or twice."
Brenda nodded. "How did he seem?"
"Like Christian."
Brenda laughed. "Well, that can't be good."
Diana laughed. "Brenda, you know what? You look really nice."
Brenda rolled her eyes. "Oh my goodness, here we go!"
Diana grinned. "You look like you are trying to attract the opposite sex, or maybe a soon to be ex husband."
Brenda was wearing a black fitted pantsuit, her hair was in a high ponytail, and she was sporting a strong red lip.
Brenda grinned. "No, I just haven't seen him in almost two years. I wanted to look...decent."
"Well, you do look...decent."
The smile left Brenda's face. "I'm also going to visit Brayden's grave while I'm here."
"Would you like me to go with you?"
She shook her head. "No, I have to do this by myself. I need to do it by myself."
Diana had a concerned look on her face. "I don't know...I think I should come with you."
"I'll be fine, Diana."
"It will be hard."
"I know. The last two years have been hard."
Diana reached over and grabbed a hold of her hand. "I know."
"I'll probably wait until tomorrow."
Diana nodded. "All you have to do is say the word, and I'll come with you."
"I'll be fine. I promise..."
After lunch Brenda and Diana headed to David's parents house. Brenda stayed there for a couple hours, before heading to Grey Enterprises.
She pulled up into the parking deck, and spotted the familiar sign. *Grey Enterprises*
It seemed like just yesterday, when she came here to tell Christian she was pregnant.
She felt a familiar ache, the one that never went away...
Brenda exited the elevator.
All eyes were on her, which made her even more nervous.
She walked up to his secretary's desk.
"Hello, I'm here to see Mr. Grey."
The secretary smiled. "Hello, Mrs. Grey. I'll let him know you are here."
That statement confused her. (Was he expecting her?)
The secretary picked up the phone. "Mrs. Grey is here...Yes, Sir." She hung up the phone, and stood up. "Follow me."
Brenda followed her to Christian's office.
She opened the door, and Brenda went in, expecting to see Christian, but he was nowhere to be found.
The secretary told her he'd be right with her, and asked if she needed anything.
Brenda declined, and then she was gone.
She looked around.
It looked different, but the smell was the
same.
It was his smell.
She breathed him in.
All the memories that had been filed away, came rushing back.
From the first day they met, till the last time she saw him.
It all came back.
She sighed. (Maybe, she should sit down.)
She felt strange standing in the middle of the floor.
She turned and was shocked to see Christian, standing in the doorway, looking directly at her.
She smiled. "Hi."
Christian closed the door, and without saying a word, walked passed her.
He walked around the huge desk, and sat down.
He leaned back in his chair, and just stared at her.
"You could say hello back."
"Hello."
She stared into his gray eyes, Brayden's eyes, and quickly looked away. "How have you been?"
He sat up. "I've been better."
"You look good...Christian. Really good." And he did, better than she even remembered.
"Not better than you. I'm actually having a hard time believing, you are standing here...in my office. I didn't think I'd ever see your a** again."
She looked down. "Yeah, me either."
"At least you're honest. I've actually been waiting on the divorce papers to come."
"Me too."
"Brenda, if we get a divorce, it will be because you want one."
She looked up. "We haven't lived together in almost two years."
"Are you making a case for a divorce?"
"Christian, I just think we've both been through a lot, and we deserve a chance at happiness. A chance at moving on."
"Happiness?"
"Yes...happiness."
"I was happy with you."
*silence*
Christian continued. "Is it making things easier, by pretending as if we never were?"
"That's not what I'm doing."
Christian noticed the ring on her left hand. "Nice ring."
(Damn it, she forgot to take it off.) "He...just asked last night."
"Convenient."
Her eyes widen. "What does that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing."
Brenda felt the need to clarify. "We've been talking about it for awhile now. We just made it official...last night."
He nodded. "And he let you come here alone?"
"Let me?"
Christian stood up. "I would have never let you come here alone. Did you get a chance to say goodbye?"
She was done being nervous, now she was just annoyed. "No, I just left. Of course I said goodbye."
"Good."
"Some things never change. You are still so incredibly cocky."
"Am I now?"
She glared at him. "Yeah, you are."
Christian walked around the desk, and leaned up against the front. "Did you come here to ask me for a divorce?"
"Don't you want to move on?"
He looked down at her ring, then back up at her. "You mean like you?"
"I'm sure you have someone by now."
He shrugged. "Someone. Would you care if I did?"
"I just want you to be happy."
Christian laughed. "I was not meant to be happy, I was meant to be rich."
"Everyone deserves to be happy, Christian. We just got dealt a raw hand, but we both still have a shot...at happiness."
"Do we?"
She swallowed hard. "Are you upset with me?"
"No, I'm not upset with you."
"Look Christian, I want to apologize, for all the things I said, after Brayden...died. I didn't mean any of it. It was not your fault, it was nobody's fault."
She saw the first real emotion in his eyes.
"You don't have to apologize, Brenda. I realize you were just hurting."
"Yes, I do...need to apologize. You were hurting just as much as I was. I didn't mean to make it all about me, and what I was feeling."
"All is forgiven."
"I hope you mean that."
"I do. So, you came here to ask me for a divorce and apologize. You remind me of that f*cking candy. You start off sour, but end up sweet."
Brenda smiled. "Ha. Ha."
"So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?"
"I'm not sure, I was thinking about visiting Brayden's grave. Either today or tomorrow."
"Alone?"
"Yes."
"Do you think that's wise?'
"I'll be fine, Christian. I know it's going to be hard."
"Real hard."
"I'll be fine." She changed the subject. "So, how is Tango?"
"He's fine as long as I remember to feed his a**."
"That's not funny, Christian. I would love to see him."
"No one said you couldn't."
"Are you still living in the same place?"
"Sometimes."
"Sometimes? And the other times?"
"Brenda, you're asking wife questions."
"They are not wife questions. They are just questions. I was just wondering. I didn't mean to pry."
They locked eyes for a brief moment.
Brenda looked away. "Well, I guess I should leave. I'm sure you have work to do."
"Are you coming...by to see Tango?"
"Yeah, if it's ok?"
"It is."
"Where should I come?"
His eyes darkened. "Wherever you'd like."
She grinned. "Where are you living...today?"
"Call me, I'll let you know."
"Is the number the same?"
"Of course. Where are you headed now?"
"I think I'm going to the cemetery. I don't want to wait until tomorrow. See you later?"
He nodded.
She left.
Christian picked up the phone. "Cancel all my appointments for the rest of the day..."
Brenda picked up some flowers before heading to the cemetery.
After receiving directions from the people who worked at the cemetery, Brenda headed to Brayden's grave.
She reached his grave, sooner than she expected.
She didn't have time to prepare.
It was right there staring her in the face.
Brenda stared at his headstone: Brayden Nathaniel Barrett Grey.
She placed the flowers on his grave.
"Wow, I still can't believe you're gone. I never thought I'd be standing here looking at your name...on a headstone. Brayden. Nathaniel. Barrett. Grey. I should be writing your name on your lunchbox, inside of your jacket. It should not be on a headstone."
She touched his name. "My Sweet Angel. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I miss you so much, Baby. So very much. I miss your smile, I miss your hugs, I miss your laughter. I miss you. There are times when I am so angry, because you were taken away so very young. You had your whole life ahead of you. But then I am so grateful, to have had the chance, if even for a little while to love you. You're my special angel. I hope you know how much I love you, and I would give anything to have you here with me. Right now." She wiped her face. She pulled out her necklace. "I have a necklace, and it has a locket. I have a picture of you inside. I keep it close to my heart, because it's where you'll always be...in my...heart." She collapsed onto the grass and sobbed. "Oh, Baby." She rested her head up against the headstone and continued to sob...
Brenda felt a hand on her back. She looked up, it was Christian.
"He was just a baby, Christian. He was just a baby. Our baby."
He moved to his knees, and wiped her tears away. "I know Sweetheart. Baby, I know."
He pulled her to him, and she buried her face into his neck, as the tears continued to flow...
Part 2
After some time Christian stood up and pulled her to her feet.
They walked to his car.
When they got there, Taylor was waiting.
Taylor nodded. "Hello, Mrs. Grey."
She managed a smile. "Hello, Taylor."
Christian took Brenda's keys, and gave them to Taylor. "Drive her car to the house, we'll take this one."
Taylor nodded and left.
Christian and Brenda are in his car.
"Brenda, I think you should stay with me tonight."
She didn't really want to be alone, so she agreed. "Ok."
"That's if your fiancé, doesn't mind."
"Jax, trusts me."
"I wouldn't."
"I am well aware of that." She stared out the passenger side window.
Christian looked over at her. "Are you ok?"
"No. I haven't been ok in a very long time."
"Do you need a doctor?"
"No, I'm not about to go crazy. I just have this big hole in my heart, and it hurts, all the time."
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly...
Brenda had fallen asleep on the way to Christian's. She felt the car stop and woke up.
They were outside of the house, they bought together. The house they were having remodeled.
"What are we doing here?"
"I live here."
Brenda looked at Christian. "You didn't sell the house?"
"Why would I do that?"
"I don't know, because things didn't work out between us."
"We experienced something no parent should ever have to go through, and it was...and still is hard on the both of us. It had nothing to do with what we felt for each other."
She sighed. "You're right."
"I know I'm right. F*ck, I'm always right."
She grinned. "I don't know about that."
He exited the car, walked around, and opened her door.
She got out and they headed up to the house.
Christian unlocked the door and they went in.
They were greeted by an older lady.
"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey."
"Brenda, this is Miss Thomas, my housekeeper."
Brenda smiled. "Hello."
"There is some food, already prepared in the kitchen."
"Thank you Miss Thomas, that will be all."
She nodded and left.
"How long has she been working for you?"
"For the last year."
"Christian, I never got a chance to tell you, how sorry I am about Miss Jones. I know how much she meant to you. I was really fond of her too."
Christian looked away. "Miss Thomas, she's very efficient, but she is not Miss Jones. You only get one Miss Jones in a lifetime." He looked her over. "I guess you would like to change clothes."
She looked down at the grass stains on her suit. "Yes, but my clothes are at the hotel."
"Well, you left quite a few when you bolted. How about all?"
"You still have them?"
"I do. They're upstairs. Follow me."
He headed up the stairs with Brenda following.
She looked around.
She had a hand in picking out every piece of furniture in this house.
Their house.
The house they were supposed to share as a family, with Brayden.
They reached the top of the stairs, and turned right.
Brenda had forgotten how huge the house actually was.
Christian opened the bedroom door and they went in.
It was the Master bedroom.
She looked around. "Everything turned out really great."
"Thanks to you."
The bedroom was as big as a small house.
There was a huge bed, a seating area, a fireplace, balcony, and an enormous bathroom, with his and hers closets.
Brenda followed Christian into the bathroom.
He opened up a set of double doors on the right. "Hers."
"Christian, I can't believe you have all of my clothes in here? I've been gone for almost two years. That's kinda crazy."
"You know what's f*cking crazy, you just left, and never looked back. Now, that sh*t was crazy. And then you come here, and tell me you're engaged to that blonde m*therf*cker. That sh*t is real crazy!" Christian took off his jacket, and tossed it on the island in the closet. "Brenda, I moved in this house a couple months after you left. I thought you were coming back, but the months passed and you didn't come back. I honestly haven't been in here in a very long time. I forgot your clothes were in here. Give me an address, and I'll send them."
She knew she deserved that. "I'm sorry."
"Are you in love with him?"
She kicked off her shoes. "Why do you care? I thought you didn't believe in love."
"You do. Answer the question."
She removed her blazer, and started looking through the clothes. It was an obvious attempt at avoiding eye contact with Christian. "I...love...Jax."
"Yeah, I bet you do."
She turned and looked at him. "You...never...answered my question. Are you seeing someone?"
"Someone."
"Is it a relationship or is she a submissive?"
"The latter."
"Oh."
"Does that bother you?"
"I don't have the right to feel anything. I left."
"Yes, you did. It took a lot of restraint on my part, because I wanted to find that m*therf*cker and beat his a**. And make you come back. Under different circumstances I would have, but I had to put my feelings and my ego aside, and let you do what you felt you had to. To get better."
"Better." She threw a hand up. "Yeah, that's me." Brenda crossed her arms. "So, where is the new playroom?"
"Would you like to play?"
"No, Grey."
Christian smiled. "There is no playroom, not here."
"So, where do you play?"
"I have a place."
"The old penthouse?"
"No, another place."
Brenda smiled. "Is it a playroom, or a playhouse?"
He laughed. "Room."
"Is she a good submissive?"
"The best."
That hurt.
She forced a smile. "I'm happy that you're happy."
He glared at her. "I never said I was happy."
She changed the subject. "Well, I guess I should get out of these clothes."
"No one is stopping you." Before she could respond, he walked passed her. "I'll wait out here."
She nodded and he left.
Brenda ended up taking a shower.
She put her hair in high bun, and threw on a pair of sweats and a tank.
Christian was sitting in one of the chairs, in the bedroom, when she came out.
"Are you hungry?"
"A little."
He stood up. "I need to take a quick shower, you can go down to the kitchen if you don't want to wait."
"Ok."
He went into the bathroom.
She waited awhile, but then decided to go ahead without him.
Instead of going down to the kitchen, Brenda was drawn to the room that was supposed to have been Brayden's.
She didn't know what Christian decided to do with it. Maybe it was empty, or maybe it wasn't?
The room was fairly close to the master bedroom.
She turned the knob and went in.
She wasn't prepared for what she saw.
Everything that she had picked out, was there. His bed, curtains, floor sized rug, toy box, shelves for his helicopters, and a place for Tango. It was all there.
She walked up to the bed, and ran her hand across the comforter.
She sat down and just tried to take it all in.
"I'm sorry, I didn't have the heart to get rid of anything."
She looked up and saw Christian standing there.
She stood up.
"This room is perfect, well it would be...if Brayden was here...to see it."
Christian watched her closely.
She looked down at the ring on her left hand. "Me moving on." Brenda closed her eyes. "I don't think...I'm going to survive this. I'm trying so hard."
He walked up to her, and wrapped his arms around her. "You will, I promise...you will." He kissed the top of her head. "I missed you."
She looked up at him. "I missed you too."
"F*ck Brenda, I waited for you, why didn't you come back?"
She moved away from him. "I don't know. I'm lying, yes I do. It was just easier to stay away."
"What's easier about it?"
"I don't have to look in Jax's eyes, and see Brayden's."
"You can't run, Brenda. You have to face this head on."
"I don't know how to. And Christian, I just want you to know, that I have not been intimate with Jax. I wanted to wait till we officially ended our marriage."
"Officially ended our marriage?" He laughed, but his eyes were angry. "Has he kissed you? Have you slept in the same bed? Has he held you all night? You've been intimate. But I don't give a f*ck about that, not right now. I am seriously worried about you. I think you should stay here for awhile, in fact I insist."
"I can't do that. What about Jax?"
"F*ck him. You're only with him, because it's easier. Your words not mine, and it's apparent that easy is not working. I'm not saying you're going to stop missing Brayden, because that will never happen. I just think you should start seeing Dr. Floyd...immediately. He's helped me tremendously. He helped me get through losing Brayden...and you."
"It's not the same, Christian."
"I'm not comparing the two. In fact that's what made it easier for me. It hurt me to lose you, but at least I knew you were alive and well...somewhere. Thanks to Julia."
That statement confused her. "Julia?"
"Yes, Julia, your sister, the one who couldn't stand my a**."
"She told you I was coming to Seattle didn't she?"
"Yes."
"How often do you two talk?"
"Lately, just once a week, but when Brayden first died, everyday. How else was I going to find out anything about you? You wouldn't talk to me."
"She...never mentioned it."
"That was on purpose. I asked her not to. I just wanted to make sure you were ok, that's all."
"Christian, I'm sorry I took everything out on you. I was not myself."
"You're still not yourself."
"I'm better than I was. I'm not you, I just can't go back to the way things were before."
"What are you saying? That I don't hurt, or miss Brayden? That I don't have a lot of what if's, because I do. There is not a day that goes by, that I don't think about him. But I'm facing it head on. I'm not hiding or running away. Dating some blonde motherf*cker because it's easier, and pretending that I am...happy."
"I am not pre-, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just trying, Christian. I'm just trying to get through each day. I don't know if it's the right way." Her eyes filled with tears. "But I'm trying."
He caressed her cheek. "Stay here with me, please."
She smiled. "Please? That's not in the rule book."
"We're not playing."
"I wouldn't mind talking to Dr. Floyd. I just have to call and tell Jax."
Christian pulled away. "You don't have to call and tell him anything."
"We're engaged."
"Brenda, you are really f*cking trying my patience! You are not engaged. You're still married to me. In fact, I think it's extremely disrespectful, to wear that f*cking ring in my presence."
Brenda smiled. "If you can have a submissive, I can be engaged. I wonder which came first?"
"Option C, you leaving."
She didn't respond. What was she supposed to say? It was the truth.
"I'm sorry. If you're staying, I guess it would help if I stopped talking about you leaving."
"Christian, I know what I did, you don't have to keep reminding me. And I changed my mind, I-"
"You're not staying?"
"Not that, I don't want anything to eat. I'm tired, I'd rather just go to bed."
"You need to eat."
"I don't want to. Just point me in the direction of my room."
"What have you eaten today?"
"I had lunch with Diana."
"What time?"
She sighed. "Christian, I don't want to eat. I just want to go to bed. Please."
He nodded. "Ok and you can sleep wherever you want."
"Ok, thank you." She looked around Brayden's room one last time, and left with Christian following...
She opened the door to one of the bedrooms. It was down the hall from the master bedroom.
"I remember picking out the colors for this room."
"You did a good job on the whole house. My mom and sister loved everything."
Brenda turned. "So they've seen the house?"
"Of course they have, they're my family."
"I'm sorry, dumb question. How is your family?"
"They're ok, thanks for asking."
"I can only imagine what they must think of me."
"They don't think anything."
"They think something." She looked away. "Well, I guess I'll try and get some sleep."
Christian nodded and left.
Brenda took off her sweat pants and climbed into bed.
Turns out she couldn't sleep. She tried, but she just tossed and turned.
She got out of bed, and walked over to the window.
The landscaping was so beautiful.
This was supposed to be their dream house, with a dream life to go along with it, but it all turned into a nightmare.
She turned and walked back over to the bed, and slid back in. At that moment she heard a knock at the door.
She sat up. "Come in."
The door opened and Christian walked in, carrying a tray of food.
"I know you said you were not hungry, but you have to eat something."
"Ok."
"So, you are hungry?"
"I am now."
Christian walked over to the bed, and sat down.
He placed the tray on the nightstand.
There were sandwiches, fruit, and two glasses of wine.
She reached over and grabbed a sandwich. "Thanks."
He reached over and grabbed one too. "You're welcome."
They eat in silence.
Brenda grabbed her glass of wine and drunk some. "I...never thought there would be a time, when things would be awkward between us."
He picked up his glass and took a sip.
He didn't respond.
She stopped trying to make small talk, she just drunk the rest of her wine, which went directly to her head, and really relaxed her.
She decided to try again. "How is business?"
"Business?"
She nodded. "Yes, business."
"Business is fine."
"Do you hate me?"
"Where did that come from?"
"Maybe it's the wine talking. Well, do you?"
"I don't hate you, Brenda."
"You should."
"Maybe, but I could never hate you."
She sat her glass on the tray and leaned back.
She stared at him. He was still so incredibly good looking. Jax was good looking too, but Christian was in a different league. There was good looking and then there was Christian. "Are you still beating the women off?"
"Sometimes."
She rolled her eyes. "Sometimes. You are so damn cocky."
"To some."
She grinned. "To most. Christian, I could just keep my hotel room, I don't have to stay here to see Dr. Floyd."
"No, you should stay right here."
"I really believe apart of you wants me here, and apart of you does not, and you have every right to feel that way. I don't blame you."
Christian downed the rest of his wine. "Stop analyzing me. Are you a f*cking therapist now?"
"I've seen quite a few, I kinda feel like one."
"But you're not one, and you have no idea how I feel."
"I don't know how you feel. I know you're angry with me."
They locked eyes for a moment.
She looked away. "I...guess I should try and get some sleep."
"So, you want me to get out?"
"I can't make you leave, it's your house."
"It was supposed to be our house." He stood up, and picked up the tray. "Good night."
She watched him leave...
After Christian left, Brenda got up and went into the bathroom.
After using the bathroom, she walked back out into the bedroom.
"Christian-."
He held up his phone. "I forgot it." His eyes moved down her body.
She was wearing a tank and a pair of panties.
"Scared...you were going to miss a business call?"
"Something like that. Goodnight."
He turned and left, closing the door behind him.
She just stood there for a moment.
She looked down at the ring on her left hand.
She removed it.
She walked over and placed the ring on the nightstand.
She looked around the room and sighed.
She reached down and picked up her sweat pants and slid them on, then headed straight for the door.
She closed the door behind her, and walked down the hall, towards the master bedroom.
She stopped in front of the door, and opened it, as quietly as she could.
She went in and closed the door.
She looked around the room, and walked up to the bed.
She picked up the stuffed helicopter.
She got into bed, and held it close, as tears ran down her face...
Part 3
It's the next morning, and Christian has just showered and dressed.
He headed down the hall to Brenda's room.
He knocked, but didn't receive an answer.
He knocked again.
Nothing.
He turned the knob and went in.
The bed was empty.
He went into the bathroom, still no sign of her.
He was on his way out when he noticed the ring on the nightstand.
He picked it up, put it inside his inner jacket pocket, and left.
He was just about to head downstairs, when he decided to try one more place.
He walked down the hall, and opened the door to Brayden's room.
There she was...curled up in the bed.
He walked over to the bed and sat down.
He looked down at her.
She was so different now, but so was he. No one would remain the same after going through what they went through.
He looked around the room.
He guess he was not coping as well as he thought.
This was not healthy. He could not keep this room like this, and expect Brenda to get better.
He didn't doubt, that she'd probably sleep in here every night.
He got up, walked over to the window, and looked out.
Brenda opened her eyes, and spotted Christian standing by the window.
He turned. "Hey."
She sat up. "Good morning. You found me."
"Were you hiding?"
She shook her head. "No, and I know I shouldn't be sleeping in here, it's just been awhile since I've been close to his things, or things that were supposed to be his."
"This room should not still be here."
Brenda didn't say anything, because he was right.
Christian continued. "It's been two years."
"Have you told Dr. Floyd about this room?"
"No." Christian looked out of the window. "I guess this is my attempt at moving on."
"Christian, I know I have already apologized, but it just doesn't seem like I have apologized enough. I am so sorry, that I made everything all about me. It didn't just happened to me, it happened to the both of us. He was my child and he was yours too. I am so sorry."
He turned and looked at her. "All is forgiven."
*silence*
"Are you on your way to work?"
He nodded. "And your car is here, its parked out front."
"Ok."
"There is also a set of keys for you in the master bedroom. They're to the house. They are on the island in your closet."
She got out of bed. "Ok, thanks." She looked him over. "You look nice, but I can't remember a time when you didn't."
Christian didn't respond, he just looked at her.
She smiled. "Just say it. Thank you, Brenda."
He shook his head and laughed.
"Where is Tango?"
"He was at the penthouse, he's here now."
She picked up the stuffed helicopter. "I would like to keep this."
He nodded.
She sighed. "Well, I should get dressed. Have a good day."
"Yeah...you too."
She left...
Brenda decided to use the shower in the master bedroom, since all of her clothes were in there.
She closed the bathroom door, and turned on the shower.
Christian's closet door was open.
She went inside.
Everything was in its place.
She picked up one of his t-shirts.
It was the one that he wore last night, and it smelled just as good as he had.
All of a sudden she felt guilty. Like she had no right. She left him. She left her husband. Yes, she had a nervous breakdown, but she had gotten better, and instead of going home, she moved to another city, with another man.
She felt ashamed.
She had no right to touch his things. She had no right to miss him. She left.
She returned his shirt, walked out of the closet, undressed, and got into the shower.
She closed her eyes and stood up under the water. She thought about all the times, her and Christian had made love. His hands all over her body. Demanding. Relentless.
She remembered one time in particular.
Christian went out of town, and wasn't due back till the next day.
She'd had a long day, and was in the shower standing up under the water with her eyes closed.
She heard the shower door open. She opened her eyes and smiled.
"You're back early."
"I'm right on time. Hey, Baby."
She threw a hand up. "Hey."
He was already undressed. He made his way into the shower, closing the door behind him.
He grabbed and kissed her hard.
She could feel his manhood pressed up against her stomach. Hard. Ready.
He picked her up, and pressed her up against the wall in the shower.
He broke the kiss and quickly moved down her body.
She moaned as she felt his tongue enter her.
He moaned. "I missed this beautiful p*ssy."
She felt one finger, then two enter her.
She grabbed a handful of his hair, and pulled it...hard.
He increased his speed, until she was moaning profusely.
He moved his tongue up against her button, and started sucking on it...gently.
It was mind blowing.
She came seconds later.
After licking her clean, he moved back up her body, stopping to suck on each nipple, before moving up to her lips, and kissing her deeply.
He picked her up, and without warning entered her.
It was the Christian way.
She threw her head back and moaned his name. "Christian."
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and held on, as his body pounded in and out of hers.
She yelled his name, which only seemed to encourage him.
He grunted. "Sh*t Baby, you feel so f*cking good."
He reached around and shoved his finger into her a**hole, which sent her over the edge...again.
He held her tightly, and continued to move in and out of her, as she shook uncontrollably.
"Sh*t Brenda, I'm going to cum."
She kissed him hard, and dropped to her knees, taking him fully into her mouth. He grabbed a handful of her hair, and started f*cking her throat. Seconds later, she felt his hot liquid filling her mouth, and trickling down her chin.
He ran his fingers through her hair. "Sh*t Baby, that felt so f*cking good."
He pulled her up and kissed her. Tasting the mix of both their loves...
Brenda opened her eyes. There was sex and then there was sex with Christian.
She couldn't sleep with Jax, because she was still in love with Christian.
It was not just the sex, it was the man.
Tears ran down her cheeks.
He would never take her back. When Christian wanted a woman, he was relentless, but when he didn't...he didn't.
He didn't want her anymore.
She knew he still cared about her, but not like he did before.
They were more like old friends now, and that made her sad. She should have never left. There was no one that understood like he understood. She knew that now. But she didn't stay, she left. She ran away. And now she was engaged to Jax. She cared for Jax. She loved Jax, but she was in love with Christian.
She couldn't hurt Jax, and she wouldn't disrupt Christian's life. She made her bed, and now she just had to lie in it.
*Paris*
Mia was sitting in a cafe waiting on her friend to arrive.
She had booked a couple of modeling jobs, so she would be staying in Paris for the next couple of weeks.
She looked at her watch. Her friend was running late, and she was beyond aggravated.
She sighed, and looked out of the window.
She was just about to call her friend, when something, or better yet someone caught her eye.
He looked directly at her as he walked by the cafe.
She jumped up, grabbed her purse and rushed out of the cafe.
Her heart was beating so fast, she honestly thought she was going to faint.
It was like she had seen a ghost.
She walked as fast as she could, until she caught up with them.
She followed them into a boutique.
She threw on a pair of Jackie O style sunglasses, and pretended to look through the clothes.
The lady released his hand, and he turned around and started playing with his toy helicopter. "Charlie Tango lifting off!"
To be continued...