Me and Mr. Grey…...Part 22
After Brenda left the cemetery, she headed back to the house.
She had no idea if Christian was there or not.
When she arrived, the house was quiet.
Eerily quiet.
She went upstairs to change clothes, because she had gotten a little dirty at the cemetery.
She walked into the master bathroom, and found Christian soaking in the tub.
There was a bottle of wine, and a single glass sitting on the floor.
The bottle was half empty.
Christian had obviously checked out mentally, because he was not even aware, that he was no longer alone.
He was just sitting there, with a blank look on his face.
She really didn't know if she should even say anything.
Ultimately, she didn't have to make that decision, because he finally realized she was standing there.
She walked up to the tub. "Christian, I don't know what's going on, but if there is anything I can do to help, just say the word."
He looked down at the stains on her clothes. "You've been to the cemetery?"
She nodded.
Christian leaned back and looked up at the ceiling. "Don't go back."
"It was fine. I didn't have a breakdown. I didn't freak out. I think the other day happened, because of the pure shock...of seeing his name on that headstone. It was a first for me. I'm fine. Well, as fine as anyone can be in this situation."
"Brenda, listen to me, do not go back."
"I have to. I have to face this Christian. Brayden's gone, and he's never coming back. I hate it. I'm hurting, but I have to deal with it. I can't hide from it. I can't pretend. It's my...our reality."
Christian didn't respond.
Brenda noticed how weary he looked.
She sat down on the side of the tub. "Christian...what is it? Just tell me, maybe I can help?"
He reached over, grabbed the bottle of wine, popped it open, and took a sip. "I'm sorry, Brenda."
"For what? Last night?"
"For everything. I'm sorry you had to go through, what you've been going through for the past couple of years."
"You went through it too. And it's not your fault. I told you that. It's nobody's fault. It's just the hand we were dealt. And I'm the one who should be apologizing. I left."
She reached over and ran her fingers through his damp hair. "And whatever it is you are going through, let me help you get through it."
He grabbed a hold of her hand and removed it. He didn't want her comforting him. "Could...you give me a minute?"
Her heart dropped. "You want me...to leave?"
He looked up at her. "I just need to be alone right now."
That hurt.
She stood up. "I'm...sorry. I didn't mean to...bother you."
"It's not you, Brenda. I just have a lot of sh*t on my mind."
She nodded. "I understand. I'll change, and get out of your way."
She headed straight for the closet, threw on the first thing she saw, and left...
The house was huge, and if she really wanted to stay out of Christian's way, it would have been relatively easy, but she decided it was best, if she just left.
She ended up at Diana's.
Diana plopped down on the sofa. "So, you're just going to leave?"
"I was actually supposed to go to California anyway. Christian probably won't even notice I'm gone. He is preoccupied. He does not want my company. I can't really blame him. I left him. He couldn't depend on me then, why should he think he can depend on me now?"
"Brenda, you should tell him you are leaving."
Brenda picked up her cup and took a sip. "I'll send him a text or something."
"You know, I shouldn't be all that shocked, but I still can't believe you two just got back together." Diana snapped her fingers. "Just like that."
"Me either. But right now, I don't really know if we are together or apart? Maybe he changed his mind? I can't say that I would blame him. And I guess it would serve me right."
"Do you regret breaking things off with Jax? Especially, with everything that is going on now?"
"No and yes. No, because I obviously still love Christian, and yes, because I know Jax is somewhere hurting. I really loved Jax."
"Just not enough."
Brenda nodded. "Yeah, I guess not."
Diana leaned forward and placed her cup down on the coffee table. "I don't understand. Jax is the perfect man. He's good looking, rich, and...polite!"
Brenda laughed. "Christian...can be polite."
Diana smiled. "Can he?"
Brenda picked up a pillow, and tossed it in her direction.
Diana ducked and laughed. "Christian is gorgeous, Brenda, he really is, but he can be a son of a b*tch."
Brenda grinned. "Trust me...I know."
"Do you just prefer son of a b*tches?"
Brenda laughed. "No, I just prefer that one."
"I guess it helps that he is a rich...and a hot...son of a b*tch."
Brenda rolled her eyes. "I've had good looking and rich before. You've had good looking and rich before! Christian...is just...the most interesting man...person...I have ever met."
Brenda threw her hand up, cutting Diana off before she had time to respond. "And I'm not saying Jax is boring or uninteresting, because he's not. Jax is a good man, and we had a lot of fun. He will make someone extremely happy one day. Just not me. I love and need Christian. I didn't belong with Jax. I belonged with Christian. But grief had me confused. And now every vow has been broken, and it's all my fault. I don't even know why Christian still wants me? But maybe he doesn't?"
Diana tried to reassure her. "Christian is a son of b*tch, but he cares about you. A fool can see that." Diana smiled. "And Jax adores you. A fool can see that too."
Brenda laughed. "You really like Jax don't you?"
Diana grinned. "I love Jax."
Brenda leaned back. "He is a wonderful man, but so is Christian. Christian is...just wonderfully complicated."
Diana rolled her eyes. "He is a wonderfully complicated son of a b*tch."
Brenda burst into laughter.
Diana continued. "But seriously. They are really like night and day."
Brenda nodded. "They really are. Jax is always Jax. You know what you are going to get. If Jax is gray, he is always gray. But Christian on the other hand is the total opposite. If he's gray, he is fifty shades of gray." Brenda smiled. "You just never know what you are going to get. And maybe now I'm being introduced to number fifty one."
Diana pulled her knees to her chest. "Well, David is red, and he is always red. I'm not interested in one hundred shades of red, because then I would have to divorce him."
They laugh...
She hung out with Diana until it was time for her flight.
She didn't take anything with her.
She had clothes at Julia's.
She had clothes everywhere.
She sent Christian a text, letting him know that she would be in California for the next couple of days.
She wasn't shocked when she didn't receive a reply.
He was preoccupied, and her life was a mess.
She'd broken up with Jax, and had no idea where she stood with Christian.
It was obvious he felt he could not confide in her, which hurt her more than it should. Especially, since she abandoned him.
It still didn't stop it from hurting…...….
As soon as Brenda arrived in California, she showered, changed, and spent the rest of the day with Julia and the kids.
She really didn't feel like doing anything.
She was still tired from the night before, and a little sore too.
Having sex with Christian, was like running a marathon. It took a lot out of you, and you always felt it the next day, but she didn't want to disappoint them. So, she sucked it up and went anyway.
As soon as they returned, she went straight to bed...
It was around one in the morning when she woke up.
She reached over and grabbed her phone off the night stand.
No missed calls.
No text messages.
She placed it back down.
She got out of bed and almost jumped out of her skin.
"Christian?! When did you get here?!"
He was sitting in one of the chairs, in front of the fireplace. "I guess around the time you went to sleep."
"I don't understand. What...are you doing here?"
He ignored her question. "Brenda, why did you leave?"
"I wanted to give you space. You needed space. You asked for space."
"I didn't want you to leave."
"But you didn't want me around either."
"F*ck Brenda, I told you, I'm just dealing with something."
"What is it?! Just tell me! Is it business?"
He shook his head. "No."
"It can't be personal, because you said your family was fine."
He nodded. "They are."
"Well, what is it?"
Christian stood up. "Brenda, we have to go to Paris."
Her eyes widen. "Paris? Why?"
He looked down. "We just have to."
"What's in Paris?"
He looked up into her eyes. "Everything."
Brenda crossed her arms. "So, I'm supposed to just drop everything and go to Paris, because you say we need to?"
Christian frowned. "What in the f*ck do you have to do?"
"Nothing, but that's not the point."
"Well, it's settled, we're going to Paris."
"No, it's not settled. I didn't say yes, Christian."
Christian was really getting frustrated, but he tried...had to remain calm. "Brenda, Baby...we have to go."
"Why?!"
"I promise to tell you, but not here. I'll tell you on the plane."
Brenda sat down on the bed. "I just got here, and I haven't spent enough time with Julia and the kids. I can't just up and leave. Julia would be livid!"
"No, she wouldn't."
She cocked her head to the side. "And you know this, because you know her so well?"
"Well enough..."
Christian was right, Julia wasn't angry.
She actually encouraged Brenda to go, and they ended up leaving the next morning...
They are on Christian's private plane.
Brenda is sitting across from him.
They have been on the plane for an hour, and Brenda has been patiently waiting, for Christian, to tell her why they had to go to Paris. But he had not said a word.
As soon as they took off, he opened his laptop, and up until that point, paid little to no attention to her.
She looked down at her watch.
Her patience had finally ran out. "Ok, so we are on this plane, and I'm sitting here, waiting on you, to tell me what's going on?"
Christian looked briefly at her, and then his eyes fell back onto his laptop.
"Christian! Stop ignoring me and tell me what is going on! Do you have a disease or something? Did you give me a disease?! Are we going to Paris to get cured? If you gave me a disease, I am going to kill you!"
"Brenda, will you please just shut the f*ck up!"
"I will not shut the f*ck up! You are obviously wrestling with something, just tell me what it is!"
Christian ran his fingers through his hair. "First of all, I didn't give you a f*cking disease. Why in the f*ck are you always asking me that?"
"Because you are a freak!"
"Why do you let me f*ck you, if you think I'm not clean?"
"Actually, I said no! Or don't you remember?!"
Christian shrugged. "No, I don't."
She sighed. "Whatever, just tell me what's going on? It has to be serious, because you haven't touched me, which is so unlike the freak that you are."
He closed his laptop. "Would you like me to f*ck you?"
"I don't think I will ever get use to your filthy mouth. And no, I do not want to have sex! I just asked if you gave me a disease! But let me guess, you don't remember?" Brenda took a deep breath and blew it out. "I just want you to tell me...what is going on. That is all."
Christian knew he should tell her.
He wanted to tell her.
He had to tell her.
He just didn't know how.
For the first time in a long time, he was at a lost for words.
"Christian, I don't care how much time I spend with you. I don't think I will ever truly understand you."
She got up and walk towards the bedroom…...
Part 2
Brenda fell on top of the bed.
Christian followed her into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
He sat down next to her.
She is lying on her stomach.
He pulled up the back of her shirt, and ran his fingers down her spine.
"Christian, are you trying to use sex to shut me up?"
"No, if I wanted to do that, I would just stick my d**k in your mouth."
Brenda giggled. "You are so gross!"
"But seriously, I just wanted to touch you."
She rolled her eyes. "You have never just wanted to touch me. Especially, if it didn't involve you putting your penis in my vagina."
Christian smiled. "True."
"And Christian, nothing has changed, I still would like to know what's going on."
"Ok." He continued running his fingers up and down her spine. "You are so beautiful. I missed you."
"If you missed me, why did you ask me to leave?"
"I just needed a minute, Brenda. I didn't think you were going to leave the motherf*cking state. Just the bathroom."
"I didn't think you wanted me around."
He leaned down and planted a kiss on the small of her back. "I'll always want you around."
He helped her out of her shirt, then trailed kisses up and down her spine.
She closed her eyes. "Christian, please tell me what's going on."
"I will Baby, I promise."
He reached down and pulled her pants and panties down, exposing her a**.
He caressed each cheek.
Brenda chuckled. "I thought you just wanted to touch me?"
"I do...with my hands, my tongue, and ultimately my d**k."
"Penis, Christian."
"Mmmm...hmmm..."
He leaned down and pulled her a** cheeks apart, running his tongue up and down her pleasure spots.
She moaned.
His tongue stiffened and he buried it deep inside her.
She grabbed the sheets and continued to moan, until she coated his tongue with her juices.
He removed the rest of her clothes, and his soon followed.
He moved behind her and placed himself at her opening. She pushed back, slowly taking him in...inch by glorious inch.
He didn't move...not at first.
He let her have her way with him.
She continued to push back and forward on his manhood, while moaning, and touching her breasts.
Christian leaned down and started sucking on her exposed neck.
He whispered in her ear. "I'll never let you leave me again."
He pulled the skin of her neck into his mouth, biting gently on it. And then without warning, drove his manhood deep inside her body.
"Ooooooh, Christian, Baby, that feels so gooood!"
"Yes, it does, Baby."
He felt the familiar tightening of her p***y around his d**k. He sped up. "Cum for me, Baby."
And she did just that…...
He pulled out of her and moved to his back.
Brenda moved to her side, then leaned over and kissed him.
She reached down and started stroking the hardest part of him.
She broke the kiss and moved down taking as much of him into her mouth as she could.
He grabbed her leg and threw it over his body, coaxing her to move into a position, which would allow him to kiss her...there.
Christian moaned and clamped down on her button.
Brenda gasped, but continued to suck him...and hard.
Christian attacked her p***y with his mouth. French kissing and sucking on it, and it wasn't long before she was having another orgasm.
"Oh, Christian, I'm going to cum! Ooooh Baby! Ugh!"
Christian lapped up every ounce of her nectar.
After taking a brief break, she went back to sucking and licking on him. Taking him even deeper into her mouth.
Christian threw his head back. "Aaaaah sh*t. Just like that. Just like that, Brenda."
She continued to suck, while tightening her grip around his shaft, running her hands up and down, as quickly as she could.
Christian lifted his hips. "Aaaaah f**k!"
Brenda felt his hot cum shoot into her mouth and down her throat.
She didn't pull away, she continued sucking.
In fact, she didn't stop sucking, until he came a second time...
Brenda woke up and found Christian sleeping.
She got out of bed and threw on his shirt.
She didn't want to wake him, so she crept out of the bedroom. Quietly closing the door behind her...
She poured herself a glass of water and sat down in the chair, that he'd been previously occupying.
His laptop was resting in the seat next to her.
She picked it up and opened it.
It was locked.
He told her the password, when they were first married, but she couldn't remember it. And maybe it wasn't even the same?
She closed the laptop but then all of a sudden she remembered.
She opened the laptop.
She mouthed the word as she struck the keys. "Bondage."
She was in.
She sat the laptop down, on the table in front of her, and turned on some music.
She leaned back in the seat and retrieved the laptop.
Christian had several windows open. She made sure to save and close each one.
She got to the last one and clicked on it.
It was a picture of a girl and...
Brenda's eyes widen.
She slammed the laptop shut.
She closed her eyes and sighed. "Not again. Brayden is dead, Brenda. He's-"
"Brenda...who are you talking to?"
Her eyes popped open.
She looked up at Christian.
Christian's heart dropped.
He noticed she was holding the laptop. "What...are you doing with my laptop?"
"I was...just going to write a little. I'm supposed to jot down my feelings. I saved everything, I swear. Well, except for the picture, but I'm sure it's already saved."
"You...saw...the picture?"
"Barely." Brenda sighed. "I have a problem Christian. Ever since Brayden died, I can't really look at photos of children. It's like I'm always seeing his face. It happened again. So, what you heard was me trying to...well I'm pretty sure you can figure out the rest. Yes, I'm bat sh*t crazy, I know."
"You're not crazy."
Brenda smiled. "I've been institutionalized." She held up two fingers. "...twice. Oh yes, I am. But who are they?"
"Who?"
"The lady and child in the photo."
Christian looked down at his feet. (Here we go. He had to tell her...and now.)
Brenda continued. "Based on your reaction, you are obviously hiding something." She sighed and asked the question again. "Who are they? Is the child yours? Just tell me. I'm a big girl, I can take it. Are you in love with her? Or would it be...in like with her? Or whatever it is that you are, when you want a girl."
He sat down in the seat next to her. "Whatever I am, it's only with you."
He took the laptop out of her lap and placed it on the table.
He opened it.
He typed in the password.
Brenda's heart started beating fast. "Christian, what is it?"
"Look at the photo, Brenda."
She turned her attention back to the laptop.
She hardly noticed the woman this time.
Her eyes rested on the child in the photo.
She heard Christian speak.
"Brenda, you are not crazy, and you are not seeing things. Baby, the child is mine...and yours. That is...our Brayden."
She whispered. "No...Brayden is dead."
"Brenda, he is not dead."
"Brayden is dead. He died in a car accident. Remember?"
A tear rolled down Christian's cheek. "No, Baby. He didn't."
She looked at him and then at the photo. "Brayden is dead."
Christian grabbed her arm. "Brenda, listen to me! Brayden is alive!"
She looked into his eyes. "Shut…up."
"Baby, I can't because it's the truth. Brenda, Brayden is alive. Mia saw him...in Paris."
She tried to free herself from his grip. "Brayden is dead, now please take your hands off me!"
He placed his hands on her face, and forced her look to look at the photo. "Look at our little boy! Look at Brayden, Brenda!"
She tried to pull away, while still refusing to look at the photo. "Stop it, Christian! Please! Just...let...me go!"
"No, listen Baby, you are not crazy! It's Brayden, Baby. It's Brayden, look at the photo. Please, Baby. Please look at the photo! Just look at the photo. Please, one more time! Please! Sh*t Brenda! Look at the f*cking photo!"
She looked at the photo again. She looked at his face. Really looked at his face.
His dark hair, his naturally tanned skin, those...gray eyes. She looked briefly at Christian. She covered her mouth. "Oh...my...God..."
Christian released her.
She moved closer to the laptop.
She ran her hand across the photo.
And then her world went black...
Christian splashed water on her face. And shook her in an attempt at waking her. "Brenda, wake up! Brenda! Brenda, wake up! Wake up, Baby! Wake up!"
And then her eyes slowly opened.
"Brenda, you scared the sh*t out of me!"
"Christian, I had the weirdest-." She looked up and spotted the laptop on the table. With the photo still on the screen.
She jumped.
Christian caressed her cheek. "It isn't a dream."
"Brayden, is really alive?"
"Yes, Baby. And we are going to Paris to get him."
"I don't understand. Christian, is this a trick? Because if it is...it is extremely cruel, and I will never forgive you."
"It's not a trick, it is the truth."
She started shaking uncontrollably. "But I don't understand! If he's not dead, where has he been?!"
"He was taken, Baby."
"Taken?! By whom?!" She didn't give him a chance to answer. "I just can't believe this! But it never felt final! Not in my heart! Never!"
He kissed the top of her forehead.
She searched his face. "Is he ok?"
"Yes, Taylor said he is fine."
"He...wasn't mistreated was he?"
"No, he was well taken care of."
Tears flooded her cheeks. And then she screamed. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"
She turned her attention back to the photo. "Oh my God! It really is Brayden."
Christian nodded. "Yes, Baby...it is."
Tears continued to stream down her cheeks, one after the other. "Don't f*cking do this to me Christian! I can't take this. Are you sure?! I…mean…are…you really sure?!"
"Yes, Baby. I'm positive."
She threw her arms around his neck and sobbed.
Her whole body continued to shake.
Christian stroked her hair. "I know, Baby. But you have to calm down."
She pulled away. "Who took him? Why did they take him? Who would want to take him? Did they want money? Why didn't they ever call? Has he been in Paris all this time?"
Christian stared straight ahead.
Brenda turned her attention back to the laptop. She touched his photo. "My Baby. My Brayden. Oh my God. Oh my God. Where has…he been? Who took him?"
Christian remained silent.
She turned and looked at him. "Who took him?"
Christian didn't say a word.
She pushed him. "Christian, who took him?!"
He finally looked into her eyes. "Do you still love me?"
"What?! Now is not the time!"
Her eyes fell back onto the photo.
"Just answer the question."
She looked briefly at Christian, then back at the photo. "Of course!"
He grabbed a hold of her hand. "Tell me."
Their eyes locked. "I love you. I don't understand why you're asking me this now?! Who took Brayden?!"
He leaned over and pressed his lips up against hers.
She pulled away. "Christian...who took Brayden?"
Christian knew he had to tell her.
He couldn't lie. He wouldn't lie.
"Do you remember Leila?"
She shook her head. "No. I don't know a Leila."
"Do you remember the girl I was with, the very first day I met you?"
She nodded. "Yes."
She looked at the photo again. She covered her mouth. "Oh my God! One of your sick ex girlfriends took my Baby! My Brayden! For two f*cking years!"
Tears ran down her face.
Christian tried to comfort her.
"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me again!"
She jumped up, and in the process, stepped on the remote to the music player, causing the volume to increase. John Legend's All of Me filled the space.
Christian stood up. "Brenda-"
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
Brenda was confused, hurt, happy, and furious. She yelled over the music. "Move out of my way!"
"Sh*t Brenda, I didn't know. I swear!"
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want him touching her. She wanted him gone. "Move out of my waaaaay!"
He didn't want to upset her anymore than he already had.
Brenda was fragile, and he knew that.
He moved out of the way.
She ran past him and went straight into the bedroom. Closing and locking the door behind her.
My head's underwater
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
He buried his face into his hands.
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
*CRASH*
Christian jumped and ran towards the bedroom.
Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
The door was locked.
He lowered his shoulder and powered through the door.
There was glass everywhere.
Brenda had broken the mirror.
She picked up a piece of glass. "Don't f*cking come near me, you piece of sh*t! Your sick twisted world, is the reason I don't have my Baby! My Brayden...I hate you. I...hate...you."
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down
I'm around through every mood
She moved as far away from him as possible...sunk to the floor and sobbed.
You're my downfall.
You're my muse
My worst distraction
My rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing,
In my head for you
Christian closed the door and sat down on the bed.
Cause all of me
Loves all of you
*All of Me-Lyrics written by Toby Gad and John Stephens*