His scruffy face scrapped pleasantly against hers, his freckled hands held her close. In this moment, he was just Anders, Justice be damned. Their lips met and synced in perfect harmony. Such a fiery need. She was growing breathless...
Sebastian's voice cut through her dream. "Lily?" Lillian jumped up, her forehead connecting with his causing them both to wince. "Maker..uhf...Bad dream?" Sebastian guessed, squinting as he rubbed the sore spot on his head.
Lillian's fingers laced through the loose strands of her burgundy hair. "You could say that.." she mumbled, avoiding eye contact. "Are we there?"
"Still two days out...was it about Anders?" Sebastian asked.
"...Yes." Lillian admitted softly.
Sebastian crossed his arms. "Perhaps you should join Anders's pity party then." he suggested. Lillian looked up at him sharply. "Today would've been his birthday. Fenris and Aveline are the only ones not drinking to him."
Explained why she had dreamt of him after trying so hard to forget him entirely. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lillian said. "You needn't harbor hatred for a deadman Sebastian."
A meek smile nipped at Sebastian's mouth. "There is wisdom in that luv...but the wound is still too raw.." Sebastian sank down beside his wife, resting his back on the nearby lumpy sacks of bread. Sebastian stared straight ahead as he continued speaking: "Are you mourning him as well?"
"..I..though perhaps I should say 'we', mourn the man, buried beneath false ambition. There was a person beneath that benevolent being, that smiled and joked, the same person that traveled with my cousin, harassing Nathaniel Howe along the way so it seemed." The hoarse chuckle emitting from her chest, died on her lips. "We mourn the mistake he made merging with Justice...we mourn that we never knew the man he was without Justice's influence..and we mourn because we can no longer peek through the cracks to see that man...He's gone.." Lillian heaved a sigh. "You have to understand Seb, in a way, we lost him twice on that fateful day...to Justice and to death."
Silence sprang up between them, neither beau looking at the other. "...I do understand..." Sebastian finally said. "I'm thankful I asked.." His hand coupled with hers, and though his smile was forced, the serenity in his ocean eyes were not.
Lillian mirrored his smile and kissed the hand that held hers. "Stop holding resentment for the others then. Besides if it's any consolation, I'm sure Isabella just wanted to drink."
Sebastian laughed darkly. "It isn't...but perhaps we should join them..." he mused standing. "Least they think we're..engaging each other.." Sebastian said, pulling Lillian to her feet.
"Maker forbid." Lillian scoffed. Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "Or should I say 'Andraste forbid'? She was your original wife after all.." Sebastian rolled his eyes then cut her with a smirk. "What?" Lillian pressed with the shadow of a laugh.
"Sarcasm becomes you so well, Lily." he responded. "Your eyes brighten, your smile glows, you shine all over really.." Lillian felt her face warming. Sebastian's smirk grew. "Yes. That's what I wanted to see.." he hummed, stroking her cheek. "My blushing bride indeed." he playfully brushed his nose against hers. Lillian considered retaliating, but this was a new side of Sebastian and an enjoyable one at that, so she allowed her husband his moment of triumph.
Stepping onto the upper deck, Lillian saw Aveline and Fenris playing diamondback on the left side of the ship, while 'Anders's pity party' were hunched together near the stern with glasses in their hands and a bottle of Antivan brandy in the middle of their circle. Sebastian nudged her towards Varric and the others, nodding his approval when she glanced at him. Lillian started towards them, too absorbed in her own thoughts to notice Sebastian was following.
"Come to scowl at us some more Choirboy?" Varric greeted. "Or did the Mrs. talk some humanity into you?"
"That's a crude way of putting it, but yes." Sebastian replied, claiming the bottle for himself.
Varric grumbled in disbelief. "You're shitting me."
"Not at all." Sebastian said, handing the bottle to his wife.
"Sister did I ever tell you I find your husband incredibly sexy?" Bethany chortled, clearly tipsy.
Lillian revelled in Sebastian's reddened cheeks. "I guessed as much." she replied.
"He is so sexy...that I wish I had gotten to him first..oooh I shouldn't have told you that..now you know what a wicked sister I am.." Bethany rambled drunkly.
Lillian squeezed into the circle beside Varric and a sleeping Merrill. "Noooo do continue." she encouraged, leaning forward to refill Bethany's glass. "It's endearing to watch this, honest."
Sebastian snagged the bottle back from Lillian. "Don't encourage this behavior Lil." he scolded.
Varric outright smirked. "Still no fun, which means Choirboy's celibacy streak continues," he turned his copper eyes onto Isabella who was seated directly across from him. "Pay up Rivanni."
"Damnit Hawke, when are you going to peel him out of that shiny armor? This is getting ridiculous." Isabella cursed, tossing a sovereign at Varric.
"I couldn't agree more actually." Lillian replied looking pointedly at her husband.
"We will do that in the privacy and luxury of our palace, not here." Sebastian told her.
"I'm curious Lavender - was that always the excuse?" Varric chortled, though it died on his tongue the instant Sebastian leered at him.
"Are we certain he's not a eunuch?" Isabella murmured.
"Yes!" Sebastian said crossly, taking a swig then handing the brandy back to his wife.
Lillian couldn't help but laugh, as Cessah came up and licked her face. "Why on earth are you betting so high?" she asked as she ruffled his ears, then dutifully poured the brandy into Merrill's abandoned glass and raised it to her lips.
Fenris spoke up from the distance. "We always bet high when it comes to you." Lillian glanced back witnessing that he was already looking at her. "You are the Champion Of Kirkwall are you not?" he smirked, raising his playing cards higher to his face.
"Fenris when are you going to admit you need eyewear?" Aveline asked exhaustedly.
"The day your freckles disappear." he said coldly.
"Someone's cheeky today." Aveline noted.
Varric called. "That usually means he's about to clobber you, watch out."
Fenris called back. "Mind yourself dwarf."
Removing the band that held her glossy hair in a bun which had become lopsided during her sleep, Lillian asked: "Exactly how many times have you made bets about me?"
"And dare we ask about what the topics of these bets were?" Sebastian added.
Varric glanced at them sideways. "Are we including those outside our merry band, like Lady Elegant?" he asked.
Lillian's mouth dropped a bit. "Elegant bets on me? I don't believe it!"
"She bets far more than Tomwise." Varric gushed.
"Noooo..."
"How little you know them Hawke, how little you know 'em.."
Sebastian perched down behind Lillian. "You're avoiding our questions." he noted.
"Think of bets as harmless publicly Choirboy." Varric replied coyly. "You'll need plenty of good press where we're going..I may even have to think about charging for it."
"Varric." Lillian hummed.
"I'm joking Hawke. Although if he remains firm on this 'chaste marriage' thing..."
"..Oh then by all means, charge him!"
Sebastian tried to hide his scorn while Varric and Lillian shared a moment of snickering. "Rein it in luv." he requested.
Aveline asked Varric. "Do you ever intend to tell her?"
Varric turned his head in her direction but didn't look back. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"No?" Aveline challenged. "You didn't control a gambling ring that thrived solely on Hawke's actions?"
"Varric?!" Lillian cried.
"I can neither confirm nor deny that..." Varric replied. In accordance with her husband, Lillian continued to stare at him. With a sigh Varric added: "I just started it, how it evolved is to be blamed solely on the betting residents of Kirkwall..." Cessah barked, earning Varric's attention. "I don't owe you anything, Meredith destroyed herself in the long run.." Cessah began to growl. Rolling his eyes, Varric hesitantly popped a coin into the air which Cessah quickly caught on the tip of his nose.
Lillian blinked. "...I don't know who I should be more ashamed of.." she mused.
Varric smirked. "Your husband Hawke, always your husband." Sebastian purposely knocked his knee into Varric's back as he stood up. "Unf…That was uncalled for." Varric scowled.
"I didn't think so." Sebastian argued, crossing his arms.
Lillian sighed. "Apologize Varric."
"I'm sorry that you can take the boy out of the chantry, but not the chantry out of the boy...satisfied? Oooh wait, touchy word.." Varric responded with a mocking grin, as he gazed up at Sebastian. Sebastian glowered, which grew when he noticed Lillian was biting back a giggle. "Really Choirboy, how can you not be a little bit ashamed of yourself for allowing the legendary Hawke to remain virginal for this long hm?" Varric retorted.
"This conversation is over." Sebastian grumbled, retreating to the safety of Fenris and Aveline.
"This conversation is never over Prudence!" Isabella called, startling Merrill awake. Isabella snickered softly, rubbing Merrill's back as she sat up unsteadily. "Not until he makes with the family jewels, right Hawke?"
Merrill confusedly asked. "There are jewels on this ship?"
Varric answered: "None that we'd ever be likely to see Daisy." Bethany laughed drunkly.
Lillian looped and unlooped her hairband around her fingers. "Did I miss the toast to Anders?" she asked quietly.
Bethany answered sadly. "Yes."
Varric rested a hand on Lillian's arm. "Bah we can make another one. I'm sure Blondie would love an encore, especially spoken from the woman he loved." he announced, reaching over Lillian to snag the bottle. Noting her ocean eyes were locked on his face, Varric smirked as he refilled his own glass. "We all could see it Hawke," he poured the brandy into Bethany's glass, earning a mute 'thank you'. "Hell between you and me, I think that's why there was always added tension between Blondie and Broody." he continued skidding the bottle across the floorboards to an expectant Isabella who wasted no time refilling hers and Merrill's glasses.
"You're not suggesting...?" Lillian mumbled, gripping the bottle with anxious hands as a drowsy Merrill passed it to her.
"I'm a storyteller Lavender, it's my duty to root out hidden truths." Varric replied. "Why do you think he really agreed to help the mages? Because you taught him to read? Please."
Merrill seemed to be waking up more. "Oh..you're saying Fenris loves H-?"
"No." Lillian quickly replied at the same time Varric said "Maybe."
Merrill mused. "That would explain why he's cranky all the time.."
"..No." Lillian argued. "Don't believe it Merrill. I certainly don't." she said firmly glaring curtly at Varric. "Fenris and Sebastian have always gotten along fine.." she pointed out.
"True. He approves of Choirboy...but you didn't hear what Broody said to Blondie when it seemed like you two were on the road to l-o-v-e." Varric responded shrewdly. Lillian's eyes narrowed, a nagging feeling clawing at the base of her skull.
Bethany hiccuped as she asked. "This I..hic-up...got to hear.."
Varric leaned forward and lowered his voice. "The elf said, and I quote "Break her heart and I'll kill you.."..." Varric said, his voice growing duskier and rougher as he mimicked Fenris.
Merrill dramatically gasped while Isabella muttered "Damn that's sexy.."
Lillian's face remained indifferent. "That doesn't mean anything.." she insisted, though she couldn't help recalling that that was precisely what Anders had claimed once upon a time.
"Doesn't it?" Varric challenged.
"You killed Gascard for me...does that mean you have feelings for me Varric?" Lillian retorted. Varric's smirky-smile remained unchanging, at least until Bethany opened her mouth.
"Well now that you mention it…I mean it's possible…because when we went after Corenthas…in the deep roads…we found your ancestor Varric.." Bethany began.
"Yes we did, though I hardly see how that's related Sunshine." Varric responded, though he had suspicion where this line of dialogue may be headed.
"No more brandy for her." Isabella agreed, with a sly glance at the dwarf beside her.
"No-no, listen…" Bethany insisted, taking Lillian's hand. She dabbed her finger over the wedding ring. "These markings on the side…Tethras…these are the symbol for that house."
"Maker you're deliriously drunk. The House of Tethras is kaput remember? Has been for some while..even if their smiths had made this ring, how would Sebastian have gotten a hold of it?" Lillian challenged, failing to notice a look exchanged between Isabella and Varric.
"Siiiiisterrrr…" Bethany whined. "I'm telling the truth."
"I believe you. I believe her Hawke." Merrill said.
Lillian shot her an incredulous look. "It's borderline impossible."
Sebastian rejoined the group. "What is?" he questioned.
Drawing in a breath, Lillian swiftly lied. "Getting Isabella and Varric to quit writing 'friend-fiction'…"
Varric's smirk was instant. "True. Although Rivanni, we should really think about cutting it back while we're in Starkhaven. Don't want to give the locals nightmares…not right away at least."
"I'm sure you'll show the utmost restraint." Sebastian replied.
"Don't we always?" Isabella snickered.
Clearing his throat, Sebastian continued. "Speaking of locals – Fenris has officially agreed to remain in Starkhaven as our bodyguard. Unofficially, he will act as a guardian to Bethany, in case the holy war reaches our land."
"I don't want that, I can handle myself." Bethany responded firmly.
"He hasn't exactly been nice to her..." Lillian responded.
"Be reasonable Lavender, he hasn't exactly been cruel to Sunshine either. He's been far kinder to you than he'll ever be towards Daisy..or Blondie for that matter. Speaking of…Hawke…your toast?"
"Right." Lillian mumbled, eyeing the bottle beneath her grasp.
"You may want to walk away for this.." Isabella advised Sebastian.
"I'm fine where I am." Sebastian argued.
"To Anders." Lillian declared. "He was our healer, our jester when Justice allowed it and our friend. He...would've turned 39 today.." Lillian blinked away the tears clogging her vision. "May his vendetta for all mages be a success least his sin and sacrifice be in vain...And may he find peace in the embrace of the Void." The others gently knocked their glasses against the bottle and Lillian chugged down the last of the Antivan brandy.