Warning, mary-sue-ish chapter! (maybe? – I'm not thinking straight, I've had headaches these last couple of days)

What I noticed that when I read other fics here, I, and I'm sorry but seriously, hate it when somebody writes 'wrapping my arms around his/hers neck'. Wrap, wrap, wrap and then wrap some more. Maybe it's the more… I don't know, but I think it's overused. So you're extremely rarely going to find me using those words. I just say 'put' and it works for me. ;)

Just some daily (or weekly) Author rant that every author just loves to write. ;)

Also, I translated a song from Serbian into English, so don't bother looking it up.

A week has passed. A silly, horrible, mind blowing week. I've had no contact with Ironhide nor Ron. I've been crying my soul out every day and night, for the past seven days. Nicole was by my side constantly.

She had to buy so many toilet paper it would cover a whole country for ten years. Some of her comments actually cheered me up, but they wouldn't last for long. This wasn't a game nor a story nor a movie. It was real life and real life hurts bad.

Every single night, filled with a stuffed nose, a salty, tearful bed, a best friend getting those ugly black circles, just because she knows that she has to be there for you. And you just love your best friend.

Amanda disappeared suddenly and so did our next door neighbors, Clara and Lana. I haven't heard form Pete nor Dave, in about a month now. Last time we saw each other was a couple of years ago. That was a long time ago. Wonder what they are doing now…

Maybe they all went on a little trip and upped sticks and went away, so it also pained me that they didn't tell me they were leaving, if they actually did leave in the first place. And why they didn't take me with them. Who knows. Maybe they have their own life crisis. Just like I have right now.

As I lay on my bed, politely asking Nicole to leave the room to me and myself only, I thought about getting to Ironhide and tell him what has been going on for a week. I couldn't possibly handle it anymore. It was too much for my heart.

I stood up from my bed , deciding this isn't going to be one of those puffed up, red faced nights I've been spending these last couple of days. All this time, my face was all puffed up and looked and hurt like I was stung in it by a million and one bees. But it was nothing close the pain inside my chest. I felt like dying. Like… just letting go. I love him too much to live without him. Enough wallowing, Melissa.

I was going to see Ironhide and that was final. Nicole said I was going to be good.

Right now, she was the only one with advice. It wasn't like I could just go on a Dr. Phil Show or whatever and listen to other people on TV. Or radio. I didn't care about them, they couldn't feel the pain that I am feeling right now, but I am not going to let that dumb pain get the best of me, because I deserve better, and I am going to fight for the greater good. For me and Ironhide.

I got up from my bed, where I had been laying all these cruel nights and went out of the room, and into the bathroom. As I looked to my right, my golden-ish robe waited for me, hanging on the wall. I took it and I took two packs of tissues. Just in case. My slippers waited under the place where the robe was, and I put them on as well.

I had a plain gym suit on. Combined with a robe and slipper it made me feel more homey. But the thing is, people always say, home is where the heart is. We all know where my heart is. It's with Ron. With Ironhide. So that's exactly where I'm going to. To Ironhide.

A painful week has passed and it's time I face the lions. It's not going to be easy, but it just hurts too much to be apart from him, especially knowing he's so close to where I am.

I carefully exited the dorm, quietly so I didn't disturb the sleeping Bee on Nicole's bed and I got out. It was a bit cold outside, the wind was blowing, so I got to the parking lot.

The Camaro had its beauty sleep in motion as the Topkick was ever as wary. I got to the hood of the Topkick and I knew that Ironhide noticed me. I put my hand on the corner of the hood. It was like petting. I could feel him leaning into the touch, before retracting back. The engine slowly purred inside the hood, indicating the truck was well alive.

I knew he had his attention tracked on me. A woman just knows. So as I moved along to the back of the cab, the truck frame was warm. I haven't been noticing it for quite a while, but it was warm. The wind blew harder, whipping my hair wildly as I shivered at the coldness. I put a palm on his window and my forehead on it as well.

It was like that for a very short moment, before he decided to let me in. The door clicked open as I opened it and got in. He closed it for me, though it probably meant almost nothing to him.

I rubbed my hands against each other, blowing into them to regain heat. Ironhide turned the heating on in the back, the heat blaring at my hands and legs. "Thanks." I said, but nothing else greeted me.

I lay down on the seat, still trying to get the heat on my legs, especially feet, since my slippers fell down when I lay at his seat. It was silent. For a long, long time. Just the heat of the air conditioning in the car could be heard, but other than that… nothing.

Hours must have passed, because I was growing tired. I even sung to him. I wasn't much of a person to sing to other people, but… you know, it's hard, and I had to do something.

"…always there, you're everywhere, but right now, I wish you were here… Damn… What I'd do to have you here, here, here… I wish you were-", I sighed deeply and blinked as a tear went down my cheek and onto the seat, "here."

I sniffed as a tear went over the bridge of my nose and fell down on the seat again.

Remember when there was a time Melissa would never cry, the time she was the unafraid one? When your heart is broken, it all just turns to dust. Trust me, I'm a living specimen.

"Melissa." I heard a voice say as I looked up. He was sitting next to my head, a soft, but sad look in his eyes, like he was… pitying me. His eyes went to my hair. "Primus, Melissa, what…" he ran his fingers through my short hair, "What have you done to yourself?" he said it in such a way I felt like breaking down again.

"I… I don't… know." I finally said it, sighing, turning my head away.

He brought his fingers gently under my chin, turning my head to face his. Oh those beautiful, electric blue eyes of his… I could get lost in them. "Was I the reason you did this?"

I stalled, "…Well, yeah-maybe. I don't know." I whined.

The radio just loved to interfere, "Baby, this is getting serious… were you thinking about you or us?"

"Hide-"

"Don't say what you're about to say, look back before you leave my life, be sure before you close that door, before you roll those dice, baby think twice…"

"I never planned on leaving your life!" I burst out. How could he even think that?! "And I'm not going anywhere! I can't!", seriously looking, there weren't many places I could go to, even if I wanted to. What the hell am I thinking?

"Pitaš me, da li bi, zadnji put, sa mnom bio ti? Boli me, što odlaziš, ostavljaš me u pustinji, molim te, ne odlazi, ostani, jos samo ovaj put." (You ask me, would you, for the last time, be with me? It pains me that you're going, leaving me in the desert, please, don't go, stay, just this one last time.)

What language was this? Sounds like Russian, but I can't just quite place it.

"Više nije kao pre, ja te ljubim, odlaziš od mene ti. A tebi lako je, ti nekoga voliš, ostavljas me u suzama, ostavljaš me u suzama…" (It's not like it was before, I am kissing you, you are leaving me. It's easy for you, to love someone, leaving me in tears, leaving me in tears…)

How am I supposed to understand a single thing from this?

"Odlazi, ja mogu bez tebem teško biće mi, al' bolje je. Ja nisam lud, al' volim te, šta je bilo, bilo je, sada gotovo je. Molim te, napusti me, ne želim više, da bude kao pre. Više nije kao pre, ja te ljubim, odlaziš od mene ti. A tebi lako je, ti mene ne voliš, ostavljaš me u suzama, ostavljaš me u suzama…"

(Go away, I can go on without you, it's going to be so hard, but it's for the best, I'm not mad, but I love you, what happened, happened, now it's over. Please, just leave me, I don't want this anymore, to be like it was before. It's not like it was before. I'm kissing you, and you're leaving me. It's easy for you, you don't love me, leaving me in tears, leaving in tears…)

I stared at him dumbly.

"The lyrics were wrong." Ron smiled, which I found a bit weird, considering this was serious. Even though I had absolutely no idea what the lyrics were about and knowing Ironhide, he wanted to forget he ever played that Russian looking like song.

"Now and then, I think of when we were together-told myself you were right for me- that was love-and that feels so rough-but had me believing it was always something that I'd done-"

Was he using… Gotye on me? "What does-"

"I can't live if living is without you- kiss me, give me all you got-"

"Stop." I can't take the song switching anymore. "You're making things overly complicated." Though I did smile at his attempt to say something through the radio.

He put his hand on my cheek, "What were you really wishing about?" he said. What was I wishing? Oh yes, he was talking about the song I was singing to him.

"I… I wished for us again. Because, I miss us. And I don't know-", my chest began to tighten itself, "how you can be so steady and strong all the time, I mean look at me!" I motioned towards myself. "You haven't done anything to yourself and I… I…" I couldn't hold it in. "Look at me…" I whispered as a tear splashed on the seat.

"I am." He said, bringing my head up from its fallen position. "I am looking at you. Do you know what I see?"

"An imbecile." I coolly said. He laughed. He really laughed, which made me smile. I don't know how he could laugh now. Crazy alien robot.

"No. I see the love of my life." He said.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I really, really love you and I don't want to lose you. If I don't apologize, I'm afraid I will." He caressed my cheek affectionately.

"It was my fault." I finally said it. Someone had to take blame. "Because you've been the most loyal person I've known in all my life. Been the only one that stood up for me and stood up with all my crap over these years we've known each other. So thank you. All I've ever been to you was a disappointment."

"Primus, Melissa, you're too good of a person to disappoint anyone." He cupped my face with his both hands. "May I?"

Was he asking me permission to kiss? What a nut. "Of course, Ironhide." I smiled as a soft kiss landed on my lips. It felt like a relief and a daily dose of something. I can't quite place it what, but it was so relaxing. Like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. "Does the term apply?" I suddenly said.

"What term?" He moved his kisses to my jaw, and I got slight chills. I liked this, of course.

"Spending your time with the person you love the most because you never know when your moment with them is going to be your last?" I quoted him, as he gave a laugh. Dear God, that laugh…

"You're a good student." He said, taking a break from the kisses.

"You're a good teacher." I smiled.

"I love you." He kissed me again.

"And I you, love." I have his temple a kiss. The temple is just so soft to the touch of lips.

"You are just so easy to love."

"I am?"

"You are." As he was answering, I took his hand and lifted it up. I brought our hands up to shoulder lever and touched his finger with mine. From what I've been reading in body language books, this was a simple, friendly touch.

I lowered my hand, and now our palms were against each other. In the books, this mean truce, forgiveness. "Do you forgive me?" I asked, not taking my eyes off his.

"Of course I do. But, I need you to forgive me as well. I haven't been acting appropriately when Ratchet found you. When we freed you from the buried vehicle." I remember he raising his voice at me because we were being brave or something. "I was too hard on you. I couldn't take this and seeing what you did to yourself pains my spark. You aren't a soldier and I'm not your superior. I apologize for my inappropriate actions."

"It's alright, love." I said, giving him a hug. "I forgive you."

We were lost in each other's embrace. His warm body against mine, holding me as if I was made of glass.

And my stomach decided to ruin our serene moment. It growled.

"You're hungry." He said. The truck engine turned on immediately.

"Yeah, but where're we going?" I asked as he moved to the front and so did I. The seatbelt clicked in place as it went over my chest and hips.

"I heard humans like this 'McDonalds' food. Am I correct?" he asked as the Mc Drive-In was close to college. "Do you want to order inside or outside?"

"If I go inside dressed like this, they're going to judge me. I'd rather not. I'd order from the drive in."

He turned on a corner and waited for our turn. Even at this God forsaken hour, there were a couple of vehicles waiting for their turn to order.

"No one has the right to judge you." He said, taking my hand in his. "They don't know what you went through. You went through a lot." He kissed the back of my palm.

"Thank you." I said. "For giving me hope when I needed it most." I smiled.

"Always." He said and then he glanced and the truck went forward. "Order." He said as I told the lady that was working at the window what I wanted. When we needed to pay for it, I guess the whole base had copies of Galloway's credit card. Poor man. I've never met him, but I heard he didn't like the Autobots.

As we collected my food and in the next hour or so, I ate it, giving my fries to Ron to try. "The food has a good taste." He said.

"Yeah, but if Ratchet saw me eating this, he'd kill you." I laughed.

He snorted, "Frag Ratchet, I'm just glad you're alive."

"So am I." I said as he drove around and we found a trashcan. I threw the trash through the window. The window rolled up and he drove me home. As we got to the dorm parking lot rather quickly, we both exited the truck.

We got to the entrance of the living room, and the door was unlocked. Bumblebee was on the couch, waiting for us. Ron and I were holding hands as we nodded at Bumblebee and he got to the bedroom with us as well. He went into Nicole's bed, keeping her close to him with one arm.

I got to my bed, as I took the slippers off and the robe as well. I lay on the bed as Ron got the covers over me, but decided to hop into my bed as well. Didn't mind at all. His chest was pressed against my back as our legs entwined. "Goodnight, 'Hide."

He snorted, but in a good, humor way. "Goodnight, love." He kissed me behind the ear as I snuggled in closer. I slept with a smile on my face that night.