It was a few days since the case of the broken monkey incident and he was recovering pretty nicely if I may add. He was actually doing as we asked unlike that pirate we had to help along with the outsider that day. I had run into Jefferson when I went home by some miracle only to come back the next day due to some idiot breaking his leg. And I Almost had an actual day off. Seemed like most incidents began with 'my brother in law dared me to...' 'I got this new thing and I...' or it had something to do with whatever the royals had involved themselves into this time.

Anyway apparently he was finally reconnecting with Grace and he needed to tell someone about it. I congratulated the hatter and he made a comment that I looked kind of sick. I waved the topic off, reassuring that I was fine and we went our separate ways. We may have kind of known each other before the curse, but he only did the transporting of Rumplestiltskin and myself due to whatever payment that dark imp was giving him. It wasn't like we knew each other personally so I found speaking with him a little uncomfortable like I did everyone else really.

Funny. My cursed self was a social ace and a whore and Victor was a socially awkward college ace( Original Book by Mary Shelley reference, read it for Gothic lit class) who never looked at a women in such a way. Complete one eighty. I sighed as I looked at the clock like I needed permission from it before I dug in the drawer for the blade again. I turned it over in my hands before I wet the stained cloth with a water bottle to clean the blade a little better. I turned it over a few more times before I began my work.

Disgusting. Ugly. Worthless. Monster.

I smiled at the words imprinted on my left arm. The first letters always seemed to be the deepest. Always scarring better than the rest. I guess I'd have to even it out a little bit. I couldn't have the truth be tainted by such a small thing that I could easily fix. I was always fixing everyone else so fixing myself was easy enough. I could easily tell what the problem was when it was me. I could feel it. I couldn't feel anyone elses pain. Just my own.

The burning and stinging that I was so familiar with filled me with warmth. A comfort that I had failed to get from my family or acquaintances. After all I didn't have friends. Evil monsters didn't get that luxury. I squirmed slightly in my chair at the joy I got from seeing that I was evening out my lovely- the door opened.

"Hey Ruby told me that- Holy shit!"

I felt the blade get torn from my grasp, the door was closed again, thank God. Jefferson had dropped whatever he had brought in with him. He was applying pressure with the already stained cloth I had used so many times before. Just what was he doing here? And interrupting my stress relief session?

"What the Hell, Victor?!"

Victor. Hadn't heard that name in a while. Everyone seemed to be much more comfortable with Whale, the pervert over the mad scientist. He must be here to make sure the only real doctor didn't keel over due to illness. If I played this right… then this wouldn't happen again if I was careful. Damn people. Getting in my way. They say they want me dead and then when I go to do it they stop me. They say they hate me and they freak out when I do drastic things. I do something I like to do and they think I'm nuts.

"J-Jefferson, I- I-"

"Just shut up and tell me where there's a damn first aid kit!"

"Um- I-" I looked away. "Left side. First drawer."

He checked it quickly. "Not here."

"Second then." If I feigned not knowing the exact location then it would seem like I hadn't done my sessions as often as I did.

He tried that one and the first aid kit I used so many times before was pulled out. Freshly restocked as per usual. Things were quiet as he firmly cleaned and wrapped my unfinished session. Once done he just stared me down as I kept my gaze anywhere but him. Feigning that I was ashamed now.

"You're cutting." He stated.

I just nodded, still not looking at him.

"How long?"

"Well... I'm trying to stop… I just…"

He sighed in an exasperated manner. "Just what are you doing to yourself? What were those words exactly?"

"The… the truth…"

"Truth? Oh God you don't actually believe-" He began and I shifted to hold my unfinished arm. "you do. What are they saying it you?" It was more of an indirect question as he knew, but I answered anyway.

"Usual..."

"Look at me... Vic. Look at me."

I glanced up, but quickly looked away.

"You can't keep doing this. You should know better than anyone the health risks."

"I'm trying to stop." I repeated quietly.

"... When exactly did you start?"

"I don't do it as often as I did." I lied softly.

"When." I stayed silent. "Talk to me, Vic. I can't help you if you don't talk."

"Not long after everyone learned who I was. I think."

"How often do you do this?"

"Whenever things get to be too much."

"And how often is that?"

"Usually three or four times a week."

"For the love of…" He ran a hand over his face.

"Please don't tell anyone." He looked up at me. "People will think I'm even crazier if the word spreads. I don't think I could take it if things get worse."

"Depends... I'm afraid to ask. How often did you do it before?"

"I… Well… A lot."

"Give me a range here. Five times a week. Six."

"Pretty much everyday then. Maybe even twice a day."

There was silence.

"It made me feel alive... Made me feel Something… I'm trying…"

"What am I going to do with you?"

More silence.

"...Why… why did you come by?"

"I wanted to see if you were ok. You looked half dead when I last saw you and then I dropped by Granny's. Ruby told me about the whole running a hospital by yourself thing. I thought I'd bring you something to eat."

"Oh… You didn't need to do that."

"Yeah well I'm glad I did." He reached down to pick up the bag he dropped. "Speaking of which you should eat."

He pulled out the plastic container that held the once perfect piece of cherry pie and slid it between the two large piles of paperwork. Funny. The only food item I'd probably take a break to eat.

"I don't deserve this."

"Don't start. I'm not giving you a choice here. You need to eat that especially after your little episode or whatever it is you want to call it."

"A 'cutting session'?" I offered with a smile void of humor.

I popped open the top of the container and he pulled out the plastic fork from the bag. I took the fork.

"You're not going to tell… are you?"

"Eat."

I obeyed slowly. Taking sips from the water bottle as the piece gradually disappeared. It felt kind of weird to have something in my stomach after so long. He sighed after I was done.

"Just what am I supposed to do here, Vic? I can't just leave you here, but with how things are going with the newest disaster I can't just take you out, can I?"

I focused my gaze on my lap. "I'm sorry…"

"I know."

Oh well things just got complicated! What are you going to do now Victor?