Hey guys! It felt like just yesterday that I updated, but too many things happened in the time that I updated and now so it couldn't have been yesterday. What day is it again anyway? I lose track super easy I'll check after I update. Well I hope you like this chapter thanks for reading!

I lay back, just grinning at the words imbedded into my skin, my flesh, my being. I hadn't felt this happy in a long while. I shifted to trace the sensitive words with my fingertips. The little jolt and pricks of pain reminding me that I was still alive. That as long as I had this I could keep going. These words, these truths were a part of me now and with them it no longer hurt. As long as they were a part of me I was invulnerable to it all. I was in my element again. I didn't need my shadows from my world. I didn't need all that darkness if I could just make the attacks a part of me. I was safe again. I spent my night poking at the red cuts, relishing in what I was and all the power that came with it before sleeping soundly and contently for the first time in what felt like forever. I met my mirror with a smile the next morning.

Things were so simple once again even with Jefferson watching my every move. I was in control. I was back in power and it felt right. I grinned at nothing and I'm sure everyone was thinking I killed someone or I was crazier than usual. But who cared? I was me again. I felt so much better. This was my life and all I had to do to keep it in order and myself happy was to engrave who I was into myself. I bet no one else could get an instant relief so quickly or perk up from anger and maybe depression like I could. I bet none of them were as content and happy as I was. I didn't need friends or relationships like those simple minded creatures did. All I needed was metal. I didn't even need to be someone in danger to get at my metal ally. This was my hospital. I could go anywhere and do anything I pleased. No one was going to stop me and even if they wanted to they wouldn't have the nerve. I nearly laughed at the thought. I was in such a good mood.

I had power. I had control. And it felt amazing. Any time I needed my release I had it. Anytime of the day and it was mine. It was always there. Beautiful crimson and silver were mine to play with and manipulate as I pleased and there was nothing that Jefferson could do about it. He thought he could outsmart me, but in the end I was still superior. My intellect that overtook my college professors who tried to guide me and in the end try and restrain my accomplishments. My dreams. I was superior to them so what made that crazed hatter think he could do?

I would not bend to his will. I would not bend to anyones. I was in control and there was nothing anyone could do to stop me. I mean why would they even want to? Something that gave me so much happiness, something that took away my stress, something so simple that gave me back my emotions and my life couldn't be bad.

And with that I eagerly traced over the lines on my left arm. It felt right. It felt like nothing would be wrong again. Like I was safe. Like the world had stopped and it was just me. Just me with my favorite past time in a dark world full of poison. Poison that I was immune from if for just a short time as long as I took the antidote that I had created myself.

Everything was perfect. I just lay in the afterglow of the rush of adrenaline and emotion. Loving the way I felt whole again. I didn't need anyone. I just needed this. This was the second time I had come for another dose of my cure. It felt even better the second time. The more flesh I cut the better I felt about not only myself, but the world of shadow and doubt I lived in. I slowly cleaned up the blood and patched the fresh cuts up before I walked out into the hall with an even brighter grin.

People were giving me weird looks, but I ignored it. I ignored the comments on my mood. I ignored the stares. I ignored it all. I had control and power and they had nothing. That insane urge to laugh rose up again. It felt so familiar, but this wasn't my world and I wasn't in my lab in solitude so I couldn't, but the feeling stayed with me. The feeling that I had accomplished something amazing and not anyone could stop me. Not the nurses. Not the people in the town. Not Jefferson.

I entered my office and returned to the desk. He looked up at me and that look than told me he knew I was doing it again was ever present on his face. That look that told me that he was thinking of some way that he could stop me. However he couldn't and that just made that urge to laugh come back. I was free. He knew, but couldn't prove it. He knew, but couldn't stop me. I just barely held back the snicker.

"Hello, Jefferson. Pleasant day, isn't it?" My smile was bright with the power and control I had regained.

"Yes…"

The reply was drawn out and his voice at a slightly lower pitch than normal and he was studying me with a look of determination and slight irritation.

"How were your rounds?"

His voice was accusing, but I answered without missing a beat. "Perfect. No complications and no delays."

I enjoyed the familiar pain and tugging on the inside of my arm as my pen began to dance across the page much like the blade had my flesh to create a river of blood. He said nothing more, but kept staring at me.

"Is there something wrong?"

"You've been looking a little paler the last few days or so."

"Well it is getting colder out. I guess the lack of sun is doing more damage than I thought. Well being a little pale never hurt anyone."

"Hmnn… I suppose that depends on how they became that way."

"Are you implying something? Well I assure you that even though I come from a land of monsters and darkness I'm not a vampire or a zombie."

"... Doesn't your arm hurt?"

"I think you need to brush up on your gothic literature. Vampires bite their victims neck."

"Victor, you know exactly what I'm talking about so just knock the act. Why are you doing it anyway? No nevermind. Bad question. Why would you go to cutting? Doesn't the pain bother you? Why would you think it was a good idea to take a knife and cut yourself? You are a doctor so you should know that cuts are Bad. Losing blood is Bad. Pain in general is Bad. You spend all your time easing others pain so why would you inflict pain on yourself?"

Yeah and what did I ever get in return for getting rid of their pain?

"But I'm not cutting. You've made sure I couldn't, remember?"

"I know for a fact that you are. Someone doesn't just go from one extreme to the other emotion wise like that." He snapped his fingers.

"So? Why would that prove that I'm cutting? You know I'm mentally unstable."

He didn't seem amused.

"Let me see your arm." He held out his hand after a moment of staring me down. My smile fell.

"No. I'm not about to encourage these ideas that you're getting in your head. If you want to spend all your time in a fantasy world then daydream somewhere else or fix that hat of yours and disappear."

How'd you like it. Just so you know I delayed a day because halfway through this chapter I looked at my nails and noticed that they were extremely long so I stopped and cut them, one nail somehow hit my cat in the face, and then went to bed... Welll I got it up in a decent amount of time though right?