A/N: I just wanted to say sorry for taking so long to update! I just had to finish this chapter and I had the half of it finished for more than a month and still I didn't have time to finish it until now. Please remember that yes, this is a bethyl fic and yes, Beth will appear. I cannot tell when or where or how but I can promise she appears (and not really late), so please, be patient! Also, I wanted to warn everyone: this will be a dark story. A really dark story, so maybe if you're looking for something else, this might not be your thing. Maybe you should read until you feel it's too much or maybe not your thing anymore..? Or just try! Maybe you find out you like this kind of stuff!
Please enjoy!
A new day had arrived and forgotten the warmth from last night, bringing new, grey clouds that hid the sun, the wind helping him to freeze Daryl and Ellie. Winter was getting closer, and they hadn't found a place to stay yet. Being honest though, Daryl didn't want to find a place. He wanted to find Beth.
He hadn't slept anything after Ellie's understatement. Beth was alive, and according to the girl, she was still alive because Beth had been there:
"She arrived a few days later than me, but she adapted quickly. She just worked and kept silent. She taught me how to refrain myself if Mary or the other woman told us anything. And it so hard that sometimes I thought I'd bleed from biting my tongue, but Beth was always there, behind me. She had my back. And when she smiled at me I knew she was saying "hold on". She's just… so strong" she told him after neither of them could sleep.
"She is" Daryl admitted quietly. Ellie yawned loudly, "You should get more sleep. It'll dawn soon".
"I'm not tired" Ellie lied. Suddenly, a wicked smile crossed her face, "Was Beth your girlfriend?"
Daryl's heart skipped a beat, but he kept his face blank, with the slightest touch of disbelief, just to make it look like he thought it was absurd.
"The hell you're talking? She was my partner. My friend" he muttered.
"Well, all girlfriends start being just friends" Ellie continued, that goofy grin in her face.
"How could you know? What are you, twelve?"
"I'm fifteen, jackass" she scolded him, "Anyway, you don't need to be an expert to notice that she wasn't just your friend".
"What could you know" he grunted.
"C'mon" Ellie straightened up brusquely, stretching out her arms, like she was saying 'what?', "It's impossible that you didn't feel anything for her".
"I was fond of her, kid. We went through lot of shit together, but nothin' like the soap opera you imagined in your head".
Ellie nodded in a way that proved that she hadn't believed him for a second before she turned around and went to sleep.
Daryl kept his sight fixed on the fire until it consumed, just when the girl awoke. Her hair, more messy than ever, fell down her back in knots that completed her extremely skinny and bruised body. At least she had been quiet last night. He had been worried that her nightmares could attract more walkers.
"Mornin…" Ellie yawned, stretching, "Why didn't you wake me up to keep guard?"
"Don't matter".
"Don't it?" Well, the bags under your eyes tell me something else" she teased him. Daryl didn't answer her. He was too busy picking up his stuff, or more like pretending he was, letting his mind wander through the memories.
Daryl couldn't help but notice the way the girl was trembling. She wasn't wearing enough clothes for the humid weather. He could see her nose and cheeks flushed from the wind while she kept going, her arms crossed around her chest and the knife sheathed. Daryl understood it was her way to protect herself from the cold, but it pissed him off that she didn't even care if a walker chewed on her arm as long as she was feeling warm.
"Ellie" he grunted, "Take the fuckin' knife off the sheath".
"There's nothing" she protested, looking around her to illustrate her point.
"There's nothin' here, right here. But we could find a herd of walkers coming for us and if you have to get your knife from the fuckin sheath we're gonna be fucked up".
"What did you call 'em? Walkers?" Ellie asked with curiosity. Daryl shrugged.
"'S just a name. Better than things, ain't it?" he replied.
"Yeah" She admitted, "I never knew how to call them. Not that I think about it a lot though. But walkers it's… fitting".
Daryl just nodded, and Ellie took out her knife to soothe him. Their journey was pretty calm: fortunately, Daryl's guesses weren't right. A huge herd of undead didn't wait for them. However, they stepped right into the rail tracks.
Ellie stopped immediately, pale. The youngest Dixon expected her to react like that, but he kind of hoped that he could distract her a bit more before that.
"Hey" he started, but Ellie shook her head histrionically, "Calm down".
"No, no, no. No. Don't even think about tellin' me to 'calm down'" she muttered, her gaze fixed on the sign, as if she was afraid that it was going to attack her in any moment. Daryl decided that he should keep his mouth shut for the moment, "Were you listening to me last night? Terminus is a death sentence, not salvation".
"Beth's there".
"You cannot fight them all. That's a suicide mission, Daryl".
"Not gonna fight 'em all. We'll get there at night and take her. You've been there, you know every corner, you know where she is. For when they notice we'll be far enough".
"No. I'm not going back there".
And just like that, she took a step back and sat down in the middle of the road. Daryl watched her, confused. Finally, he sighed and said:
"Then I guess there's nothing I can say to change your mind, right?"
Ellie shook her head. Well, that was what she said now. The hunter approached and offered her his hand to get up.
"A'right. We'll find someone".
"What?"
"You don't wanna go back, that's okay. I can't leave you alone either. It's clear you're pretty useless by yerself" he raised a finger to hush her when she opened her mouth to protest, "So we'll find someone willing to accept you in their group".
"Who? We've been walking for two days and we haven't run into anyone".
"Sure plenty of people have seen the signs. If we follow the tracks, we'll end up seeing someone".
"Or someone will see us" she murmured bitterly. Daryl saw how her lips pursued in a thin line before she accepted his hand and stood up. After forty-eight hours of intensive coexistence in a world where the dead ate the living, Daryl had started noticing the maturity of the girl. He could almost begin to understand the storm behind those amber eyes. Her hands had stopped shaking, and she didn't look at him with fear anymore. It had been a brusque change, but it was just the two of them now. She could get used to him or keep being terrified of the only person she could rely onto right now.
They had walked past four signs. Ellie muttered a "fuck" every time, and then stared daggers at him. Daryl acted as if he didn't realize.
Truth is, he actually believed he could convince her. Ellie was a tough kid, that was clear, but she was just that: a kid. Maybe she'd seen horrible things, but there was still some innocence in her. If he could find the way to remind her of the good morals instead of the survival, maybe he could make her go with him. Not like he had another choice. No one was going to appear to accept her in a group. He knew, and he thought that she might too. But she had said yes nevertheless. That was something.
If he could make her realize that they could save Beth from the same that she had been through…
"I remember this candy bars" he heard her sigh. Daryl turned around just like she picked up a Snickers' wrapper from the ground, "I miss chocolate. Well, I miss sugar. Mom always said I was nervous because my dad had bought her chocolate almost every day when she was pregnant with me. Maybe it's true".
Daryl didn't answer. He wasn't going to ask her about her family: everyone had a sad story nowadays.
"Matty and I lived with my mom in Florida, even though she was never really around. She was always working, because we didn't have much money. But one day Matty got a scholarship for university. Mom was so proud, but… the university was across the country, you know? He'd have to leave and I would only see him in Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or… maybe when he finished university. He'd enjoy and I'd be alone in that apartment. Then he told me that he wanted to have a proper goodbye. So we decided to cross the country by car", she giggled, "We left a note and a number, but… mom never called. I think Florida was one of the first places to fall" her expression darkened lightly, "But I spent two wonderful months".
Daryl looked at her. She was walking like she weighed nothing, looking up at the sky. That story sounded familiar to him. Siblings that had lived almost alone because their parents weren't around. Yeah, it was almost too familiar.
"I think I was pretty lucky" she just blurted out.
"Lucky?" he repeated in disbelief. Ellie nodded.
"Yeah. I was incredibly lucky. I enjoyed something awesome before things changed. But there were people who got out from a boring job and suddenly discovered that the dead had started eating the living. It's a sad way to die".
"Death is sad", he replied, resuming his walking.
"Not always. Some deaths are… quiet. They're okay" she said decidedly. Daryl stopped and turned around to look at her, his heart beating violently, "Yeah, Beth taught me that" she added.
Of course. Of fucking course. He couldn't remember that night in the shack. He couldn't get rid of the memory of her tears.
That's how unbelievable stupid I am, and then she had drunk more moonshine. Daryl felt a knot in his chest.
"Beth and I used to sleep close" Ellie kept going", If we weren't too tired, we'd talk a bit. We told each other things about our past life. Well, that was at the beginning. I told her about Matty, about him making sure I survived… and she told me about the farm, about how she thought that the "walkers" were just sick, and how her family locked them up in the barn. And then she told me about the prison".
Daryl picked up the pace, trying to put some distance. He knew she was just trying to cheer him up somehow, but it was making him uncomfortable. He didn't want to remember. They couldn't go back: he couldn't be at the prison again, feeling what it was like to have a home and a family.
He couldn't.
It was already dark. The wind was starting to drop and the stars were already lightening the sky. Daryl saw Ellie's teeth chattering and decided that they could call it a day.
"We'll sleep here" he said, stopping in front of an old delivery van. He opened the doors carefully; pointing at the inside with his crossbow, but it there was nobody inside. There were just a few boxes papers that flew away as soon as the doors opened. Daryl got in and gestured her to follow him. Ellie obeyed and closed the doors behind them, and immediately after darkness swallowed them. It was almost claustrophobic, but it was also kind of cozy. The wind couldn't hit them, and it was warm in there. He felt Ellie stir and move against one of the boxes.
"What do you think there are in here?" she asked with curiosity. He heard her trying to open the box with her hands, but since her short nails couldn't do it, she huffed and took out the knife to tear apart the box. Even in the darkness, her eyes shone.
"What is it?" Daryl said. He couldn't help but smirk when Ellie handed him a cookies package. It was ironical how happy a girl could be just from some rancid cookies. But he wasn't going to ruin this for her. She started devouring them almost desperately, "Mm… not too bad. They still have some taste".
Daryl tried to get comfortable and put his crossbow beside him while Ellie kept eating. They stayed silent for a few minutes before Ellie thought of sharing, but Daryl shook his head.
"I'm never been into cookies" he confessed.
"Really? And what are you into?" Daryl shrugged, "C'mon".
"Dunno. Never ate lots of sweets when I was little. Never got used to the cloying".
"Right. Guess it's the same with squirrels: you have to adapt since you're young to like them" she joked.
"Yeah, that's it" he played along, "But your cookies have nothin' on my squirrels, that's for sure".
Ellie tried to counter, but her mouth was so full that she couldn't pronounce a single syllable.
"There's no rush. It's not like you're stealing them" he told her. Ellie hummed in agreement, and started making some funny noises. Suddenly, Daryl turned his head and found out that she had been trying to swallow the huge amount of cookies down her throat. Daryl couldn't believe she hadn't hurt herself.
"There's something I didn't tell you" she blurted out.
"What?"
"I already knew you".
Daryl needed a few seconds to answer.
"Whaddaya mean?"
"Beth. She talked about you… all the time" she giggled, "When I woke up in that cabin and I saw the crossbow, I started wondering if it was really you. But then you said your name and… oh God, I even thought about fate and that stuff. How small is the world now, right?"
Daryl was surprised. Beth talked about him? What had she said? He wanted to ask, but he just couldn't. That kid was damn smart. If she heard something weird in his voice, she'd manage to give him shit for that. She was frankly frustrating.
He tried to sound indifferent as he spoke:
"Now I get why you freaked out when I didn't let you kill me. Who knows what she told you 'bout me".
But Ellie just let out a breathy laugh.
"Nope" she said, emphasizing the 'p', "If you wanna know, you'll have to ask directly, Daryl. Your tricks won't work with me2.
Daryl tried not to huff. How did she do it? Could she read minds or something?
"Dunno what you're talking about" Daryl grunted. Ellie giggled and then she kept silent for a couple of seconds before she spoke again.
"Okay, I'll tell you something, but just because you saved my life… twice" she leaned against him, trying to create some kind of intrigue, "You have to learn how to read between the lines. You'll never get a girl just grunting".
And letting out a light laugh, she started eating again. Daryl was shocked. Had she really told him that as if nothing? Didn't she feel embarrassed in the slightest? And the worst thing was, didn't she feel like a terrible person for just telling him that?
He tried to distract himself fidgeting with a bolt, like he wasn't over thinking it at all. But then, he heard something, and he was surprised to find Ellie trying to open the door.
"What are you doing?"
"I gotta pee" she hissed. She tried to open it again, but she just couldn't, "C'mon, help me, it's urgent".
With a sigh, Daryl moved her away and opened the door. Ellie got out and rushed through the woods, but stopped mid-track when she noticed him following her.
"Where are you going?"
"With you".
Ellie snorted.
"Good news, I can already pee on my own. I stopped using diapers a long time ago, so better for you".
"Yeah, well, bad news: turns out the dead walk and eat people, so you going through the woods by yourself when you're trying to take a piss is not a good idea".
"It is absolutely necessary?" Daryl nodded, "Pf… okay, let's do this".
She moved through the trees until she was covered by a trunk.
"Turn around!" she whispered. With another sigh, Daryl turned so his side was facing her, enough to keep an eye on her while he watched.
It was then when he noticed the smoke. A weak track of smoke that looked like it was about to extinguish. There was someone there, not even a mile away.
"Ellie!" Daryl yell-whispered as he walked towards her. The girl was just buckling her pants when he reached her.
"Hey, what are you…!" Ellie started, but she stopped when she noticed his expression. She followed his gaze until her own eyes found the smoke, and then they both looked at each other. Daryl nodded, and she took out the knife.
They moved as silently as possible, trying to be invisible. They didn't know who those people were. Daryl didn't think it was Joe's group. It looked like whoever it was tried to be discreet, and that was something that Joe and his folks had never thought of.
Daryl lifted his crossbow and gestured at Ellie so she would stay right behind him. They moved behind one of the cars and Daryl peeked out.
His heart skipped a beat when he saw Rick. His beard was a lot longer and he looked older, but it was still him. Michonne was sitting beside him, and there was nothing different in her. He felt Ellie poking him.
"What is it?" Ellie whined, trying to see.
"Stay quiet" he indicated her.
He felt a tug, and for when he reacted, he was cornered. That dude called Harley was pointing at him with his gun, while Billy was immobilizing Ellie firmly.
Joe appeared from the shadows and put the gun against Rick's temple. Daryl saw how his friend tensed as the cold metal touched his skin. Tony was pointing at Michonne, but she looked more shocked for seeing Daryl than for the fact that she was about to die.
"Well, look at this…" Joe said.
A/N: Okay I just finished watching the premiere and oh my god. Thoughts?
Thanks for reading and please comment!