My tears faded away and my breathing became a steady pace once more. The house quieted and I could no longer hear the empty echoes of our fight ringing through my head. I slowly rose from the bed and straightened the wrinkles from my favorite black gown. I silently crept to the mirror. I pulled back the loose strands from my face using a few stray bobby pins. I wiped away the smeared mascara from my cheeks. My eyes still looked puffy but that would have to do. I opened the door and walked into Raoul's office hoping to find him. When he noticed my presence he looked up and the sadness could break any girl's heart. Anyone but me I stood in the doorway with arms folded across my chest and looked right past him. Seeing how sad he was filled my veins with pure anger. Why did he think he could continue to treat me so harshly and expect me to forgive him so easily.
"I called Hammerstein. I was almost too late but he was so excited he called and has our departure already scheduled for tomorrow afternoon." I couldn't wrap my head around what he was saying. Was he honestly letting us go to America and was he really going to allow me to sing once more? With one sudden rush joy flooded through my entire body and I ran to him and wrapped him in a hug. "I'm so sorry Christine. The monster is in the past he doesn't have any hold on you now you are mine and I need to believe that and stop denying you freedom. I am turning into the monster now. I can feel it and I beg of your forgiveness." I nodded and his face blurred in the tears that filled my eyes. Suddenly I could hear the front door open and close. Gustave came running into the office. When we saw Raoul and my tears he stopped dead in his tracks.
"No darling it's alright. Your father has something he wishes to tell you." Raoul looked at me and smiled. He realized what i was doing. I was letting him have the good news. I was letting him cause the thrill of excitement that would soon fill our child's eyes.
"Um, well, Gustave we are heading out of the country for a while. We are going to take a small vacation to America.
Later that night it took a complete hour to calm Gustave and get him to give into sleep. With Gustave trapped into a deep sleep I began to pack his things. Suddenly Gustave woke with a fright. He yelled my name and I rushed to from where I was standing at his wardrobe.
"Please Mother, I'm scared. What a dream, an awful dream. Someone strange and mad seizing me and drowning me."
"Oh hush now Darling. It was only a dream." I cradled him back to sleep in my arms. Once he was sleeping once more I continued my packing. Something felt off though. Something didn't feel quite right. His dream and dream I had been having since I was pregnant with Gustave all seemed to feel like a very bad omen. Once I finished in Gustavé's room I continued on to my own. Something in me made my hands grab only the most beautiful of the dresses I owned. I told myself that it was because there would be crowds of people everywhere and I didn't want to embarrass my husband. Yet something in the back of my mind whispered something different. Something that made my stomach heave. I finally finished packing my and Raoul's things. I set the cases in the foyer of our grand home and went back to my room to sleep in preparation for the days ahead of me. Raoul stayed up all night in his study worrying over something I didn't know about.
I the morning the sweet smell of food filled my nostrils. Something was off and I could feel it. My nerves were on edge. I felt anxious and nervous and when my reflection stared back at me I felt unconscious and ugly. There was only one person that could make me feel so unsure of myself. There was only man who left me knowing that I would never be good enough for him. It had been ten years today since we conceived Gustave why was he still haunting my every thought and shadowing my every emotion. I felt tied to him and could hear his music in my head. But the strange thing was I didn't know the music in my head. But I could feel with every fiber of my body that it was his music. There was something about the way the notes floated when he played they flowed together and were always perfectly fit within one another. There were only two people I had ever met that could play like that one was Erik and the other, his son. Erik! That was what was wrong. Somehow leaving Paris felt like I was leaving part of me behind. But that seemed funny because I knew that piece of me had been missing for ten years to the day.
I walked to the dining room clutching my heart and feeling the wound from my soul be ripped apart from its other half. I could almost feel the shards of my broken heart ripping through my skin and making it near impossible to breath. Gustave and Raoul sat at the table together enjoying a large breakfast. Raoul quickly jumped out of his seat and rushed my side putting his arms around me and pulled me into his body. I could feel his warm breath tickle my neck and smell the sweet smell of syrup that radiated out with breath.
"Did you know my darling wife that our anniversary is tomorrow?" I had completely forgotten. Instead of thinking about my wedding that morning like an average wife would, I spent it daydreaming about the passionate night before my wedding, held tight in another man's embrace. Oh how I yearned for that man's touch even now when my husband held me so close. I smiled and pulled his lips to mine hoping my husband could enter my thoughts for once and force Erik out of them. I couldn't stand how I still found myself centering my life around Erik. I spent all day swooning over Erik's image in my head. For all I knew he was dead now. And even if he wasn't dead to the world, he was dead to me.
After breakfast, Raoul grabbed our bags and took them out to the carriage waiting for us. I bundled up Gustave in his jacket and we walked out to join Raoul. Raoul grabbed my hand and place a tender kiss on it as he helped me up into the carriage. We rode in silence. I help Raoul's hand the entire time and happened to turn to smile at him on multiple occasions. This was my family and he was my husband why was I still giving Erik all of the power over my relationship? He left me with a son in the cold morning with nothing but a rose to remember him. I owed him nothing! Especially not my love!
An hour later we reached the docks and boarded the bus that would sail us the way to America. It was the land of fresh starts and new beginnings. There was something about that nickname that sent chills up my spine. We quickly found our room on in the guest quarters of the large ship. The trip was long and lasted three weeks. Most of which I spent sleeping or in the bathroom do to sea sickness. Raoul stayed by my side the entire time holding back my hair and helping me to bed. The night of our anniversary Raoul set out candles and petals and we had a romantic night while, Gustave stayed with some friends he met on the boat. I'm not going to say that even though it was romantic, it didn't compare to half of what I felt the night I was with Erik. I wouldn't say it and forbid myself from thinking it for as long as I could. When the ship finally landed in America, Raoul dressed himself and Gustave in elegant matching suits which I had adored the day he bought them in the ship's tailor shop. I tried my best not to look sick let alone be sick. I wore an elegant long white lace gown with a red velvet jacket over top of it and beautiful matching hat with a large white feather upon it. I slung a white fur around my arms and walked off the ship. Of course all of the other passengers had disembarked before me. I felt queasy and sick but at the same time I took my time absorbing everything around me.
There were tall factories and people rushing around to get back and forth through the streets. Some looked sad and worried and poor while others leisurely made their way through the streets making sure they had their noses up at all times. As I took my first step onto American soil with my family right behind me we were attacked by reporters and photographers. I hadn't seen so many flashes since my wedding day, and of course during the time of the Opera Ghost murders. But even in Paris, the reporters were never so cut throat. And Raoul had no problem falling right into the spot light.
Yet I was shocked by all of the things they were yelling at my poor Raoul. They were throwing him under the bus and accusing him of our money loss. Yes, he was to blame but they were being so cruel to him. Raoul had no problem defending himself though. And suddenly my sympathy fell onto those who he came at. Seeing Gustave the reporters' attention shifted.
"Hey kid, what's it like to have a famous mother?"
"The opera house doesn't open for a few more weeks what yah gonna do? While some figured my son would choose some gaudy baseball field, my son proudly raised his chin and said, "I want to Coney Island and learn how to swim." They all were enchanted by darling son's words. Suddenly out of nowhere the wind shifted and the clouds hitched. The atmosphere turned dark and the rain began to poor. Raoul herded us under his small umbrella, holding me tenderly around my waist while my hand rested upon Gustavé's shoulder. Gustave looked up and pointed out a dark carriage riding toward us. There was something ominous and too familiar about that carriage it sent chills through my whole body. Something wasn't right.