Disclaimer: I own nothing! The music and characters belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber and Gaston Leroux!
So sorry that I wrote you guys so many chapters today a complete overflow. Four Chapters is a little crazy. I just felt really inspired. And I had to get to Erik and write through the song that inspired my Phanfiction. I know that this part is the play. I'm just going to write through the play and write the thoughts and emotions I thought should have been portrayed. But I'm twisting the end and writing past it. Remember to read all the chapters before this one. Please Read and review. Hope you Enjoy
There he was standing in all his glory. He was tall and he looked stronger than he had back then. He wore black dress pants and shoes. His chest was covered by a white button down shirt with a black vest over top of it. Over all of that was a long black jacket with many intricate designs sewn in to it. His Bone structure on half on his face made him so strikingly beautiful and his dark brown eyes bore a hole through me releasing my soul to him. The other side of his face was a white plastic mask that caught the light elegantly. It was clearly made to fit only his face. My Erik. The love of my life. NO! He left me alone in the most vulnerable time in my life. He left me with child and a cruel husband. And no matter how many times I prayed my angel would come to save me, he never did. He made me feel so small and weak. It was just too much…
I woke sitting on the settee. What had happened and then my eyes focused on the shape that sat upon the floor beside me, Erik. He reached up to touch me and I moved out of his grasp. I would not give him the satisfaction of making me swoon at his touch. I already fainted from seeing him.
"So it was all an empty lie, one final lie to fool us all! To make your disappearance our story's end, to put your life beyond recall. How DARE you come and claim me now! Invade my life, ensnare my voice!" I was trembling with the emotional overload he was putting on me. He broke my heart! I wanted to fall to the ground and cry. And I missed him. I wanted to fall into his arms and let him comfort me yet at the same time I was so pissed that he would choose now to take me back! He could have stayed and we could have had a family and lived a life of love and devotion. The life I had always wanted, the life I had always needed. I wanted to slap his beautiful face so he could feel the pain he put me through for TEN WHOLE YEARS! How dare he! And yet I loved him so much that his sudden presence made my heart explode. The sudden presence of the other half of my soul made my whole body feel over crowded within. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to cry because of him. But most of all I wanted to fight the urge I had to rip his clothes of and have him.
"If you could know the pain I've known then you would know I had no choice." His voice was addictive and it almost made me give in to urges. "My Christine…" And with that I snapped out of it.
"YOUR Christine?! I was yours one brief night long ago." My mind started to slip away back to the beautiful night where there was no pain, no doubts, only love. But I shook the thoughts away. And turned away from him and walked towards the piano. "…Long ago, with a man that I no longer know." I was afraid that if stared into his eyes any longer or if I was too close to him I would lose my edge. And then his velvety voice tore me away from my body and mind and my soul began to cling to him once more. I fought it but he made it so hard.
"Ah, Christine, you came and found where I hid, don't you deny that you did that long ago night." I tried to toss him from my thoughts I would give him the satisfaction of seeing the effect that still had on me, the effect that had begun to intensify every day sense that night. "Once there was a night beneath the moonless sky, too dark to see a thing, too dark to even try." I could feel his lands touched the skin exposed on my shoulders. My skin was reeling and begging him for more. My mind started to slip back to that night as I stumbled though the tunnels below the Opera Populaire searching for a sign of my beloved. I slipped of his grip once more and sat upon the ottoman.
"I stole to your side, tormented by my choice. I couldn't see your face, yet trembled at your voice." I could feel the goosebumps rising on my arm as I remembered how destroyed he had sounded. "And I touched you."
"And I felt you."
"And I heard those ravishing refrains,"
"the music of your pulse,"
"the singing in your veins." I wondered if he could hear it now because it was definitely hitting some pretty high notes.
"And I held you."
"And I touched you," I could still feel the movement of his hands as they crept along my waist to draw me into him.
"And embraced you," I could feel his body in my hands and imagined it being there again right now.
"And I felt you,"
"And with every breath and every sigh."
"I felt no longer scared."
"I felt no longer shy." I snuck a quick over my shoulder to see if he was serious. Did that night really have as big of an impact on him as it did me. He got up and walked towards me as we sang together once more.
"At last our feelings bared beneath the moonless sky."
"And blind in the dark a soul gazed into song. I looked into your heart and saw you pure and whole." He knelt down to my side and placed his head upon my shoulder. It physically hurt to be so close to him once again after trying to erase him for my memory. But I was willing to die to hold him once more and to be engulf by his love.
"Cloaked in the dark, with nothing to suppress, a woman and a man, no more and yet now less. He grabbed my hand. "And I kissed."
"And caressed you."
"And the world around us fell away. We said things in the dark. We never dared to say." He stood up and pulled me into him. And I found my body a little bit too willing.
"And I caught you."
"And I kissed you."
"And I took you."
"And I begged you,"
"With a need too urgent to deny. Again and then again, beneath the moonless sky." I was ready right then and there to beg him once more. But when I reached up to grab his face and bring his lips down to mine. He pulled away and I lost my nerve. The feelings of doubt and abandonment crept back into my soul, torturing me with its cruel stabs.
"And when it was done, before the sun could rise…" Oh man. Here it came, the explanation I had yearned for all these years. I need to know why he had left me that morning. "…ashamed of what I was, afraid to see your eyes. I stood while you slept and whispered a goodbye, and slipped into the dark beneath the moonless sky." I was so hurt, yet forgiving. He left me because he thought I would leave him and he couldn't go through that pain again. And yet I was still furious, I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and instead he left me alone with a child to raise I was practically forced into a horrible marriage by the state he left me in.
"And I loved you! Yes, I loved you." I walked up to him. I had to tell him how I felt. I wanted to see his reaction when I told him of the pain he put me through. "I'd have followed anywhere you led. I woke to swear my love and found you gone instead." He turned and grabbed my waist. I could see the pain in his eyes and regret as tears started to pour of his eyes. It didn't take a while for mine to follow.
"And I loved you." Hearing those words come out of his mouth was so heart breaking and the tears started to rush. He looked up into my eyes and I grabbed his shoulders trying to push him away. I wanted to be mad because even hating him was better than the pain I was feeling then.
"And I loved you." I sang my feelings back to him. He needed to know how I felt for him. Even if it was the last thing I did.
"And I left you." I heard his voice crack in pain. He held on tighter me I held on tighter in return.
"And I loved you." I think we were both scared we would lose each other once again.
"And I had to both of us knew why." He spun away trying to hide his sobbing face from me.
"…we both knew why."
"And yet I can't regret from now until I die, the night I can't forget…" He looked up into my eyes and it was the final step it took until we would be fully connected to one another body and soul. I could feel my heart rip in half placing one half of itself inside his chest while the other half of his heart snuggled its way into mine. "…beneath the moonless sky." So it was settled. We were booth still so passionately in love with one another, just like how we had been that night. Left hand fell on my lower waist pulling me into him. I grabbed his collar and pulled him closer. His right hand wound its way into my hair. I was about to give him myself until his words brought me back to the present.
"And now?" Harsh reality set in and I remembered where I was and who I was, Viscountess Christine De Chagny. I pulled away from him, afraid I would once again succumb to the urges he made me have.
"How can you talk of now for us?" And bit my lip and said the heartbreaking words that set us firmly in reality and destroyed our world of fantasy. "There is no now." My voice cracked and I turned from him and fled onto the balcony.
I heard his footsteps as he followed behind me. He was smart not to touch me. He knew how on edge I was. There would always be things he didn't understand about me.
"Once upon another time, our story had only begun. You chose to turn the page and I made choices too. Once upon that other time we did what we thought must be done and now we have no choice. We love, we live, we give what we can give and take what little we deserve." I was so hard to tell him. When he left my life didn't just stop and wait for his return. And now he had to know that I had duties as a wife and as a mother. I could hear the heartache in his voice.
"Once upon another time, I knew how our story would end and maybe I was wrong." So he regretted when he left me as much I had regretted leaving me maybe there was still hope for us. "But now the moments on and time keeps moving on." Get a grip Christine. You are a woman with responsibilities don't forget that! It can't happen and it won't happen! "Were it still that other time I'd make time itself somehow bend. But, now I'm not that strong and time keeps moving on." But why couldn't time freeze for just a moment? Why couldn't we have one more night together? Stop hoping Christine, there's no point!
"We love, we live, we give what we can give and take what little we deserve. We love, we live, we give what we can give and take what little we deserve." I turned to see him inches from me. I wanted him so badly. He raised his hand to touch my heart. The image of my family came to mind and I moved quickly to the opposite side of the balcony. "Once upon another time…" I couldn't let him get to me again.
"Ten long years of yearning, years of dreaming of this moment when that miracle, that peerless instrument plays for me just fleetingly lace the ghost which tortures me, tortures me." His voice broke my heart I wanted to turn to him and pull him into me and keep him locked away in my heart forever. He deserved to be locked away in the heart that beat only for him, to feel the love that could only ever be his. But then something in him changed. He got his edge back. And his tone of voice scared me. "Ah, Christine. I know what Hammerstein is paying you. I will double the amount for just one night's work here in my concert halls."
"No." I knew what would happen. I would get lost in his music and loose myself in him and he would steal my all too willing self away from my family just like he had during Don Juan Triumphant.
"Just one night, Christine, one song that is all I ask." One song would continue onto a life time of operas with how easily I gave into him.
"Why should I? For ten years you led me to believe you were dead and now you lure us here. And expect me to do your bidding. Submit to you again. I won't do it. I owe you nothing."
As I turned away to walk away and leave him there on the balcony, Gustave came running out running into my arms.
"Mother please, I'm scared. What a dream, an awful dream. Someone strange and mad seizing me and drowning me." I hushed his silent tears and stroke his head holding him in my arms. I looked to see Erik over his shoulder. I could see the hurt in his face as he realized I had give birth to a child. A child that wasn't his. He probably expected me to turn the child away and never introduce them.
"Come and meet a friend of mine." But what kind of mother would I be if I didn't introduce my child to his real father.
"Welcome to my world young friend." Gustave turned around to face the Phantom of the Opera, not that he had grown to ever hear those stories. Raoul found it sickening to glorify Erik and I found it horrifying to relive the events.
"Your world? Where are we?" He slowly walked towards the kind new stranger.
"We're in Phantasma little Viscount on Coney Island," Gustave to give the most excited grin I had ever seen on his face. "A world of fantasy," Erik lifted Gustave up on to the railing of the balcony. My heart began to race. This was my child and I knew from the past that Erik tended to overestimate the human body's strength. I just kept picturing Gustave falling. I looked over the failing and we were up so high. We were on the top floor, the fifth floor. I held onto Gustavé's arm and pleaded with Erik to put him down. But he continued to talk. "Where illusion is emperor. Tell me where you'd like to go. Tell me what you'd like to see." He then turned to face me. "Madame, please, I insist." I tried to take a half step back to prove to Erik that I still trusted him, but, it was difficult to do.
"Could you show me, if you please, all Phantasma's mysteries, all that's strange and weird and dark, in the shadows of the park?" Erik placed Gustave back on the ground and I could see an idea settle into his mind.
"You shall see it all tomorrow. In fact, I myself will show you. I promise." I placed my hands on Gustavé's shoulders and led him back inside.
"Off to sleep now Gustave." I grabbed his hand and started to walk him to his room. Gustave turned to me with a puzzled expression.
"Why does he wear a mask Mother? Is he a magician?" I had quite honestly forgotten Erik's mask. I had become so accustomed to him that it was just part of him. But after a moment of thought I thought of what Erik had been capable of.
"Yes darling, in his way." Gustave let go off my hand and ran to his bedroom to get back to sleep. He knew the sooner he went to sleep the sooner tomorrow would come. He left me alone by the piano to face Erik alone. Suddenly I could feel Erik's eyes on me. I turned to see his eyes boring into me, looking into my soul.
"What a child, full of life, Full of you, my Christine. Help me through this sadness. Do this kindness for your mentor or you progeny, that perfect specimen may disappear on Coney Island, vanish here on Coney Island. Ah, Christine." All of the love and warmth I had found in him as he held our son disappeared. How could he say such a thing? Could he really love me when he threatened me and the life of our child?
"What are you saying? How could you! After all that we've been! Who are you?!" I could feel the anger and hurt rise in my voice and I didn't dare disguise it. He walked toward me at a quickening pace.
"I am your Angel of Music. I am dying, Christine, suffocating here in the dark." He grabbed me tight around the waist pulling me close into him. "Give me breath. Give me life. Sing for me or I will take from you everything that you have ever loved." I didn't care how pathetic at that point he was hurting me. He was wounding me with the knives of his words.
"No, no you can't." I ripped myself out of his grip and ran to the other side of the piano, collapsing on the its bench. He leaned close across the piano and I turned away from him refusing to let him see my reaction, refusing to give him the satisfaction.
"Oh but I can. A man as hideous as this, believe me, is capable of anything." The way the words fell from his mouth and the lack of love in his eyes cut me deeper than anything he had ever done. I had no choice, once again the Phantom of the Opera was forcing me to do his bidding.
"And what am I to sing?" I turned to look into his eyes I hoped that maybe the pain on my face would sway him and get him to leave me and my family alone. But there wasn't a hint of emotion in his smooth face.
"One song composed by me." He grabbed the music resting on the piano and slid it my way.
"And then we're free to leave?" He walked towards me.
"And of course receive the princely fee. Is it on with the show? Does he stay? Does he go?" And with that Erik went out onto the balcony and disappeared leaving me with his music. There was nothing to do but learn the music. I opened the folder and began to read and hum along. The piece was titled Love Never Dies. Ink droplets were scattered all along the page where he had over dipped the pen. Lines were scribbled out and rewritten, but the thing that pooped out more than his music, were the lyrics. They were so beautiful and they sang to my heart and caressed my soul. They reminded me of our love that we had once been free to share, until the night I ruined everything. I stood and quickly ran out onto the balcony after Erik. I had so much to ask him. Was the song about us? Had he really felt that way? Did he still feel that way? But the Balcony was empty. There wasn't a sign of life let alone of Erik. I stood and looked up in the moonless night. A new moon, it couldn't help but steal my breath away. I heard the door open and close. Raoul stormed into the room.
"He's nowhere to be seen! Insolence!" I was afraid to ask who he was talking about. I hoped to God that he hadn't heard what had occurred only moments before.
"Who?"
"Hammerstein! What the devil is going on in this place?" He already had a drink in his hand and so I figured it would be best to explain the new situation while he was mostly sober.
"Raoul…"
He turned to look at me with a new found nervousness in his eyes. I must have been echoing my own. "Christine…"
"Things have changed, Raoul." The nervousness drain from his face replaced by a new calmness, I figured was an effect of the lack of alcohol in his glass.
"Excuse me?"
"I am no longer to sing for Hammerstein." He got up and finished his glass. He walked over to me and placed my trembling hands in his confusion taking over his face.
"What do you mean? What did you do, Christine?" He pulled my chin up so I I was looking up directly into his eyes.
"The owner of this show, Phantasma, has offered double that of Hammerstein." I forced a smile onto my face.
"What do you mean? What's the catch?" The smile must not have been believable.
"No catch. He just wanted me more, I guess." He pulled in for a long kiss and he stayed up late drinking in celebration while I was more than happy to go off to sleep and dream the night away. But that's what actually happened. I never fell asleep. The night stole in pacing the floors. I would start to close my eyes but then I could have sworn I heard Gustave scream. Tomorrow would be a difficult day.