Q. O.S 13 More about Drizzt and Morals
Xandria Ravenheart ~ though it ends off about loneliness, really signifies the Raven's quest in the chronicles.
Sometimes Ilkar pushed our friendship to the limit and lectured me. When I said I didn't want to take his advice, he would address the other elf in their tongue or in common. Not understanding their language and they got expense of teasing me was miffing and when they used Common to scold me, I did not take it well either. Gah! I had thought of elves being all knowing and tactful, which means knowing when to say what at the right time. Yet Ilkar seemed to ignore this.
"Be kind to him, please," Drizzt instructed me. Just over a small incident of a stone I threw at someone in jest. "I am. It was just a small thing. C'mon." Not that I minded, unless it came to issues of stealing things. How ridiculous! I steal from the rich!
Without an immediate source, Ilkar would need more than basic rest to regain his full strength. From his patient retelling, a source meant what Julatsa could give him and it was too far away. My friend had both happiness and moodiness thinking of that.
Learning of some medicines, called potions I went to steal them! People around town carried these little vials, being small in size I was not noticed often so I brushed past their belts and slickly obtained them. At the same time, I could hear snatches of what each one would help with.
I didn't produce any of them at first, knowing Ilkar would disapprove. When he noticed I had an extra piece of food, he made me sneak it back to the person.
Drizzt agreed not to make me lose my dignity so he never chided me when I stole items. Every now and then, my hands itched to practice my dormant instincts. I liked him for that Ilkar had been lying down more often these days and said he felt dizzy. It saddened me that elves belong outside with nature, but he was too weak. . This time in our room, I took out one potion from my stash, swirling its pinkish liquid.
"Here maybe this can help." I offered.
The elf took the vial. "This is?" He could sit up for a while.
"Er… health potion. Drink, it's good. Some people have recovered."
"Where did you get it, Fel?" his voice held suspicion. He placed it down on the table.
I couldn't look away from Ilkar's piercing sincere golden eyes, so I tried to convince him I had bought it. After all, my friend had not been out much and he ought to trust me right? Naturally most people would declare yea yea correct. "Please don't steal anymore. What if you get caught? It is hard to keep a low profile if we risk exposure." He took hold of my shoulders. For a weak person, Ilkar's grip hurt.
Defensiveness rose up and I shook my head. "No why won't you believe me? I want to help. That's all." I scowled, one hand gently pushing at him.
Ilkar sighed and read the label. After a pause, he gave in and agreed to drink it. "Doesn't say how much to take. I don't wish to get poisoned." I had overheard the person telling the man 'not more than a quarter spoon each time' Ilkar considered, then carefully sipped, never once looking away.
"Don't worry so much. Better already?" I beamed, hugging him.
At first my best friend did not respond by doing the same. "Can't help it, natural worrier that's me. Hm I will have to see a few days later if I puke my guts out or something. Ver sweet taste, ick." His hand patted my back shyly. "So, where's the dog, or cat?"
I leaned back. Serif meowed and scampered up to us. The elf beamed and rubbed his head and back. "He doesn't need to go outside? Not bored and stiff?" he asked.
"No. Serif is so good. I don't think he is like any old pet that need those things."
"Umhm. Where's Drizzt? Isn't he tired?" Ilkar continued, as if our argument had not happened. Cool, then he must have forgotten. It was day outside, oh dear the drow would get burnt. I jumped up and looked outside.
"I'm not sure. Serif where?" I focused on my animal's mind. Drizzt was in the stables. "With the horses. I notice he does not need a lot of sleep, he can be awake in the day too like us. Ilkar want to go for a walk outside? Fresh air." I encouraged him.
The mage stroked the blankets and had allowed Serif to sit on his lap. "I see. That's fine. I want to, if I don't pass out that is. Felicia," I thought he wanted to rest again as he seemed frail, but he put his legs over the edge of the bed.
Not again, about stealing being bad and etc. I braced myself mentally. "You always come within range, and I only have two of these telepathy rings. I would need to give either one to him."
I touched the one I wore. "Oh okay. Can you trust me more? We went through so much together."
"I do trust. But I'm worried, I can't and don't have any more resources to bail you out of jail. Let me finish, I won't repeat what happened these days, even an expert will fail. It will kill Drizzt and I if you are hurt. Some people don't take kindly to being robbed." The elf explained in a quiet but intense tone. He was shaking slightly and coughed.
Guilt stabbed me in the chest. I poured him some water. "I'm sorry. Do not worry too much. The coughing should ease, Drizzt gave you medicine didn't he?"
"It comes and goes. He did. But it's run out and he would need to make more. Don't exactly have a kitchen to use here." Ilkar wiped his mouth and rubbed his leg where it ached. Any injuries took time to get over, he did not tell me how he got wounded. "Let's walk around later." He cheered up.
"Yes if it doesn't hurt too much. Take some more." I indicated the potion.
"No no I'd be poisoned. There should be a healer in this town, if the price is reasonable, I can ask. Did you see any?"
I shook my head. I made a fake lie that I was not going to steal anymore, and the mage just pinned me with a watchful stare. Elves won't be deceived so easily, especially a mercenary kind of elf like Ilks! Haha. "Did you bump into something?"
"No. When our mana is low, we may feel aches and bruises. I am better. Thank you," he told me, with love in his voice. I smiled wide. Later we changed into mauve robes which were given by the woman. I looked nice in that color!
I should talk about the dark elf Drizzt and why I had no fear of him. One night we were alone together sitting by the fire. It was raining heavily outside and Ilkar was meditating. He had instructed us not to speak loudly or he'd be annoyed. I had looked outside and felt very bored, so I joined the ranger near the fireplace. Usually I started to chat, and this was one of the rare occasions he did so. It is the stage when we have reached that level of great trust! Drizzt said softly, "I think it is quite surreal, unbelievable that you trusted me immediately. Even he did not."
I smiled and glanced at his side profile. "I sense no evil. Being quieter than my peers, I learnt to see how people are like. Some show their real selves right away and don't pack much strength. Others won't let down their masks easily. It's true I got a slight shock, don't be offended by this, Drizzt. I had not seen a dark skinned elf before."
He laughed. "No I'm not. Everyone will be shocked. Go on, Fel."
I felt encouraged and replied, "Hm mostly I felt you wanted to help me though I lied that I was lost and new in the castle keep. And you… don't look like a coldblooded killer. You can kill without feeling?"
Drizzt paused to think how to phrase it to me and not shock me. "Yes. I admit I can when it is absolutely necessary. Why do you ask?"
"Oh. Never mind, what's it like to be a drow? Other than the angry parts, did you feel happy? What makes you smile?"
He was silent. I supposed I had cut too deep. I could not tell, as the light played off his sharp angular face. Looking at Ilks, who always lightened the atmosphere, I wanted to ask what I should say to make it better. The mage did not awaken from his trance and was whispering to himself, cross legged. "Sorry. Don't have to talk about it."
"I… am not a happy person. My friends used to fill in that emptiness. We outlive humans, and we try not to be attached to them. I made that mistake with my- wife and best friend. However my rationale does not seem to cooperate with my emotions. Hm, it's funny you have this frown on your face. It's alright, I won't fail to be happy with both of you and Serif." Drizzt chuckled and ruffled my hair.
I frowned because I didn't get what he meant. "Er, yea. I don't get the meaning. Argh please simplify. This outliving of humans thing, don't let it bother you too much. Ilkar would tell me to stop being nosy. But I have to say it."
Lavender eyes glittered and his mouth was apart. Then he nodded. "Agreed. Someone talked to me about that too, an elf like Ilkar. How long have you known each other?" He turned to face me curious.
"Hm he saved me from the tyrants bashing me up. A month or so longer. I- didn't trust him at first. Yet he didn't give up on me. That's why we're together and I'm happy he woke up from the sleep." My voice almost closed up but I swallowed it back. Past is past, I told myself. My friend was going to be well from now on, I would get more healing potions and search the world for good healers to cure his weak mana! From behind us the said elf cursed.
"Hey stop lying on me. I cannot breathe, Serif! Bad boy, very bad," He tried to crawl away from my companion in wolf form. Serif smiled with his tongue out. I snapped my fingers. The wolf washed Ilkar's hands and face for quite awhile to our amusement and his anger. Hahah! "Damn it's so smelly. Get off me. Yuck yuck now I've to bathe again. Stop laughing you idiots. Bad boy! I don't want to talk to you again." The Julatsan stood up, cleaning his wet skin.
Serif made a whining sound and then came to me for affection. Drizzt said, "He wants to show his love for you. Wolf saliva is healing when I was wounded, I realized that. It's quite good."
I hugged Serif who was content to lean his heavy bulk against me and lick my cheek. Ilkar replied, "It's disgusting. Drizzt, thanks. But I have no choice. Hirad's dragons enjoyed blowing flames near me, suppose this isn't so bad."
"Oh really, dragons? Wow are they very huge? Hirad owns them!" I piped up.
"Yea they are. I won't talk about it, I'm hungry after concentrating so hard and I Need to bathe." He closed the door of the privy.
Drizzt mused, "I don't think I have time to be hurt and sad when I have your company. Guen… you don't fear her as well? Most would run even when she means no harm."
"Well I think she's awesome. This astral plain, it's where she goes to inside the statue? Can I see it?"
Drizzt unhooked her from his belt. We were not fighting enemies now so he had unclipped his scimitars and placed them under his bed. But the statue wouldn't leave his side. "It is her spirit form. Guen used to be a real panther, for this kind of figurine the sorcerers enchant the animal during a ritual. Once I was frightened she got wounded but she won't really die. That is why she cannot stay here, in our world for very long." I felt the features of her cat face and the shape of the outline. In some marketplaces I had seen more of these figurines of many kinds of animals.
"I see. Here. Oh yes what can I do to make you happy? Do answer me," I touched his hand and waited impatiently.
"Simple things, having meals together, riding, Ilkar's jokes, your jokes. No need to do anything. Serif of course sorry I forgot." Our wolf barked indignantly and nudged for his pet. Drizzt touched his forehead to him and smiled. "Yourself? I cannot make jokes, hard for my kind to think of humor."
Once more, a little shard of pain entered his tone. I wanted to take it away, and I envisioned removing it. Unfortunately I couldn't. "Fel, come and talk to me. Don't bother him too much," Ilkar said. Eh when had he come from behind? I jumped.
I hugged the mage elf taking in his soapy scent. Drizzt told him it was fine. Now the rain had stopped, the evening breeze was very refreshing. Ilkar suggested, "Let's go outside. See you, friend."
The streets were quiet with people keeping their wares. Some people sold food. "Elves, we are emotional. He cannot answer, he finds it hard to forget the pain. That is the burden we longlived people carry forever. "
"That's so heavy and sad. Don't carry it, please. Give it to me Ilkar. Picture it going away for one day or two. I did it, coz I used to cry every night when people said I'm an orphan and never will amount to anything. So I kept reminding myself it will be better. I try to push it away from me." I explained, eagerly.
He smiled a heartbreaking boyish smile. "Yes. That is wise advice that you give. So mature and grownup. Let me try." He closed his eyes briefly and cupped his hands. "Please take my problems."
"I keep them safely. We've stayed here for a while, nice town. Can we stay?" I asked, looking around.
He replied that maybe we could not. "I still want to go back to Calaius my homeland. And Julatsa." Then we spoke of light things and how Serif annoyed him. The wolf had followed us to guard us.
Ilkar's condition was good on some days and bad. One day he just could not get up. Serif eased his pain somewhat. As soon as he could walk, we searched the place. We brought him to a healer who couldn't do much for him. It was best to keep him cheerful because a sad person wouldn't recover. With the healing potions I could obtain, and Drizzt's remedies, Ilkar's fever was kept in control.
"I'm so proud of you. I need to get better. Then we can see more elves," Ilkar told me sincerely. It was one of the nights he could sit up for a short time. He combed my hair and massaged my shoulders. I agreed and leaned back on him.
"Don't promise me. One day at a time. I hope it's not painful, yesterday you could not eat at all. Want to eat?"
The tavern people provided us with meals, and we had to go down to take our meals. I had saved part of my share of the delicious potato crisps and unwrapped my cloth. He thanked me. "It doesn't hurt today. I'm sorry, if it's not like that we could travel again."
"Don't blame yourself. What kind of pain is it, aching or sharp?"
The elf described some of it as aching in his joints and acute pain in his old wounds. Drizzt said this was a side effect of the Ritual of removal, the one he cast to take off the cursemark. He had not wanted to tell me.
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