"At least try to run," Grey hissed, pulling Murphy further down the hall, "Why do you look so spooked? You just did everyone on the ground a huge favor,"

"It's nothing, I'm just drunk," Murphy slurred, finally feeling the negative affects of the moonshine. The memories of his mother and father were leaving an unsettled feeling in his stomach. Grey chuckled and turned abruptly in the opposite direction of their rooms.

"For a second there I thought you felt bad about beating up Ryan."

"No…no," he panted, "The bitch had it coming."

Grey stopped and turned to face him, resting her head against the door of a storage room.

"Why are we stopping," Murphy asked, even though he was leaning against the wall too, Grey's hand still wrapped around his in a way neither of them seemed to notice. "Isn't the Guard gonna come arrest me or something?"

Grey laughed full heartedly and hit the back of her head on the wall. "Kane probably hates Ryan more than I do!"

"What's with you and Kane anyway?" Murphy asked.

"He's kind of like that over protective dad I always wanted," Grey shrugged, "I think he saw how lost I was after coming to the ground and tried to help me out," She fumbled with her sleeves for a moment, "It's nice to have someone care about you, ya know?"

"Nah," Murphy grimaced, "I don't."

Suddenly her face dropped, but Murphy couldn't tell whether it was at his comment or the sound of thundering footsteps coming down the hall.

"Time for us to go," Grey whispered urgently as she opened the door and pushed Murphy in.

He practically collapsed into the room and Grey slammed the door behind them. For awhile they just sat side by side in silence, surrounded by boxes of who knows what, worried that the Guard would come any minute to detain them. But no one came. They could actually still hear the faint sound of music coming from the Christmas party.

"I guess they can't find us," Murphy smirked.

"Or they don't care," Grey turned towards him, "the bitch had it coming."

Murphy tilted his head back with a drunken laugh, while Grey collapsed on the ground again after trying to stand.

"Maybe we should just stay here for a bit," Murphy advised, "Just in case."

"Okay," Grey giggled idiotically, her hair tousled in all directions. She was a drunken mess, "Let's play a game."

"Let's not."

"Truth or dare?" She sang, leaning into his shoulder playfully.

"No," Murphy groaned, leaning away from her.

"Truth or dare!" She said louder.

"Shut up Grey!"

"Truth or dare!" Grey screamed right in his face.

"Well fuck!" Murphy groaned, finally giving in, "If I say truth will you be quiet?"

She nodded and leaned in close to his face, her smiling lips just brushing his ear.

"Have you…" she whispered dramatically, "John, the Asshole, Murphy, ever been in love?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Murphy was thoroughly annoyed by his drunken friend.

"I want to know all your secrets Johny!" Grey sang playfully, "What turned you so frowny?"

"Well at least you got my middle name right…" Murphy sighed, "and frowny?"

"Just answer me," Grey pleaded, drawing out the last syllable.

"Well it's not that interesting," he sighed, "I was put in lock up when I was 13 which says enough, and I'm not the loving kind of guy."

"Have you even read Shakespeare?" Grey insisted, "Everyone can love, even the lost and angry and downtrodden," she explained mockingly.

"That's pretty poetic for a drunk nineteen year old," Murphy remarked, making Grey grin.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Grey said after a moment of contemplation.

"Have you ever been in love?" Murphy tried to look bored despite his interest in the topic.

"Good lord, you can do better than that!" Grey groaned.

"I don't really want to, just answer."

"Well then," Grey paused to tap her bottom lip with her forefinger; "I've loved many people, like Romeo and Petruchio…" she couldn't even go on because she was laughing at her own stupidity. Murphy rolled his eyes.

"Anyone outside of a fucking Shakespeare play?" Murphy inquired, running dirty fingers through his hair.

"Well besides Shakespeare himself only one," her smile faltered as she curled her knees up to her chest, "His name is Jonah."

Murphy drew in a breath, why was he so shocked?

"How'd you meet?" Was the only question Murphy could think of to say.

"He um…" she laughed but it wasn't humorous. It sounded hollow. "He recruited me to work with him organizing and recording old books."

"Isn't that what English teachers do?"

Grey nodded and Murphy eyes widened in realization.

"So you don't like older boys," the deliquent laughed, "You like older men."

Grey aimed a glare towards the metal floor.

"How old was your dream guy anyway?"

"We met when I was 13, he was 19."

"Holy shit. Did he-?" Murphy gulped the rest of his question back down his throat.

"We didn't… " Grey sputtered, "Nothing happened until I was 15."

"And he was 21," Murphy added, "Fuck Grey," he sighed shaking his head.

"Don't judge me!" Her voice was coarse, sorrowful, "He was the only person who cared about me, the only one who loved me even more than my sisters."

"Sisters?" Murphy practically shouted, this conversation just kept getting weirder and weirder, "Like Octavia Blake under the floor boards sisters?"

"Yes sisters," Grey pressed her forehead to her hands, "And no. I'm an orphan, relocated to the Agro station under Hospitality Care. I lived in extended quarters with three other girls, two of whom died of illnesses years before the Ark failed, and a shitty guardian who used our rations and benefits to gamble and drink."

Murphy remained silent, watching as Grey spoke from behind her hands and a mess of brown hair. He had heard about kids like Grey back on the Ark, they were unwanted or too sick to be adopted. Basically they had nothing, and it was slightly terrifying to imagine Grey living like that. Murphy knew better than to ask anymore questions about it.

"My only escape," Grey continued, "was through stories, and reading. Jonah saw my passion and chose me for the job. He probably pitied me too, because I was always stick thin and bruised. I'd spend every afternoon in those storage rooms, rummaging through all my fantasies and dreams, and for the first time I felt like my life made sense. I wasn't just some girl no one wanted to adopt. And Jonah would spare me food too, and help me read Shakespeare. We just fell together perfectly, in that room he wasn't my teacher he was my… my everything. I loved him. My fucking age wouldn't change that."

Her voice was shaking in a way that terrified Murphy, she seemed to be breaking away right in front of him.

"What happened to him?" Murphy was almost whispering.

"Floated." Grey let the word fall so heavily it practically banged on the metal floor. "He was executed, for loving me."

Then Grey did the weirdest thing. She laughed.

"He died because he loved me! Funny how romantic it seems in the books, but in real life it actually makes you want to die."

Want to die. That's why she tried didn't she? Is that why she tried to kill herself?

"I'm sorry," was all Murphy could muster up to say.

"Oh you're sorry!" Grey looked at him finally, her brown eyes glowing with rage, but at least it wasn't for him. "Will sorry change the fact that everyone I used to know is dead!"

Then her voice was gone, choked away in a fit of sobs. She was leaning into Murphy, practically begging for comfort. All he could manage was to wrap his arms around her and let Grey stifle her cries into his chest. It wasn't until Murphy tasted salt on his lips that he realized he was crying too.

"I lost people too," Murphy muttered, "My dad was floated… and my mom drank herself to death, all because of me."

Grey sniffed and tilted her head to look up at him. Murphy didn't even try to hide the tears sticking to his cheeks.

"I lost my friends," He continued, keeping his eyes focused on somewhere far away, "Yeah I'm a total ass but all I was to them was loyal. And the worst part is they're not even dead, I lost them the day they kicked the crate out from underneath me."

For what felt like hours Grey sat curled in Murphy's chest, with one hand holding the back of her hair and the other wrapped around her completely. Murphy wanted to say it was the alcohol that made him tell her those things, but he didn't even feel like lying to himself. Murphy found solace in Grey, and she in him. Soon Grey lifted up her head and whispered, "I'm sorry Murphy."

He sighed and let his head fall back on the wall.

"You can call me John."

Murphy let his eyes flutter closed, and heard her whisper faintly, "John."

He was about to drift away when he felt warm fingers tracing his neck, tracing his scar he realized. Then the fingers were replaced by something even warmer, and a little wet, Grey's lips. She pressed a dreamy kiss into the side of Murphy's neck, right on his scar as if she could make it disappear.

Murphy tilted his head forward, and looked down at his friend, astonished. In reply Grey squeezed him tighter, letting her head rest on his neck.

They woke up at 4 AM and walked sluggishly, with pounding heads, back to their rooms.

"Goodnight Grey," Murphy murmured, to which Grey smiled.

"Goodnight John."

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Sorry this took so long but thanks so much for reading! But I hope you liked some drunk confessions and cudling! (and crying, lots and lots of crying)