A/N: Here it is! You guys had such an amazing reaction to the last chapter! I LOVE you guys! I'm sorry it's so short; Finals are Tuesday, and studying is consuming my weekend. I also had my birthday party last night, so yeah. Busy weekend. But I finished the chapter.

This chapter is dedicated to I take 'crazy' as a compliment , because I love their username, and because their review made me laugh. Kind of. Mostly. Well, I enjoyed it.

Read and Review! (And if you want a summery about the first 19 chapters, you can find one at the beginning of the last chapter. Sorry, it's late. There might be another summery on the next chapter.)

I was listening to the song 'Recovery' by James Arthur, which is a kind of awesome song. I don't know if it goes with the chapter, but that's the mindset I was in while writing it.

Merlin POV

The first thing he saw once his eyes adjusted to the light was Arthur's worried face. The next was Yara. He blinked, mind searching for a good reason that the two would be in the same room, almost right next to each other without one of them being dead. Or him.

"I'm dead," Merlin said with a certainty. His voice hurt, rasping against his dry throat. "I must be dead, I think I died and went to . . . to . . . to some place where magic isn't outlawed." That was as far as he got before Arthur lunged at him. He let out a squeak as Arthur's arms encircled his chest. He was so surprised, he almost didn't hear what Arthur was saying frantically into his ear.

"Never again, Merlin. Don't do that ever again. I couldn't take it. Never again," he repeated the words, and Merlin awkwardly patted his friend's back. There was something comforting though, in being held like this. Like he mattered. Like someone cared. Almost as if Arthur had heard his thoughts, the older man pulled back, holding Merlin at arm's length to search his face with his sky-blue eyes. "Why?" he asked, and Merlin thought vaguely that today must hold some kind of record for making Arthur act weird. "Why did you do it Merlin?" tears fell slowly down Arthur's face, and his voice broke at the end of his question. Wait . . . tears? Arthur was crying!? Then the question itself registered in Merlin's over-active brain.

Shrinking back, Merlin shook his head vigorously. He couldn't tell Arthur. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't! Arthur would hate him forever. Arthur would kill him. Merlin knew he couldn't stand that; he wouldn't mind dying, but he would sooner do just about anything than have Arthur hate him. The worry visible on Arthur's face skyrocketed. Gwen put a hand on Arthur's shoulder, tugging him gently back as another face near-filled Merlin's vision. Yara.

He wanted to ask why she was here, why she wasn't gone, away from Camelot, if she had somehow escaped the dungeons again. But his mouth was dry as a reed, as if he'd eaten sand. Her small hand felt at his forehead and his neck, blessedly cool against skin he hadn't noticed was sweating. "I think he's ready," she murmured, so quietly that Merlin barely heard her, despite the fact that her mouth couldn't have been four inches from his ear as she lowered him so that he was laying on his back again. Wordlessly, because he didn't trust himself to speak, Merlin shook his head. Yara sighed.

"Now's the best time of any," she said quietly. "I'm not usually this frank, but Arthur would do anything in this moment to keep you safe no matter what." Merlin doubted this. Arthur had never done anything to help him before; why should this have changed in the amount of time he'd been unconscious? Well, you seem to have almost bled to death, came a voice, unbidden, from the back of his mind. But really, why would a servant's almost-death change a Pendragon's perspective on things like magic? "He's gonna find out eventually, whether you tell him or not," Yara said quietly. "Actually, I feel like he might already suspect." She had a damp cloth and was wiping the sweat from his face. She motioned for something, taking a cup from someone just out of Merlin's line of sight. "Gwaine certainly found out quickly after seeing your little pattern." Pattern? What pattern? Merlin couldn't really remember any method to the attempted suicide. He couldn't remember much about it at all, actually.

Gwaine's face was suddenly next to Yara's, taking the cloth from her as she helped him drink. The water felt wonderful sliding down his, for some reason, sore throat. Suddenly, the first part of that last sentence Yara had spoken came to him. Gwaine knew!? Gwaine knew what!?

"Hey, mate, don't worry," the knight said, pressing the cloth to Merlin's forehead, above his suddenly terrified eyes. "It doesn't make that much of a difference to me. Just wish you'd of told me rather than . . . well, this." Gwaine gestured to Merlin's left arm, and, with shaking fingers, Merlin tugged his sleeve up to expose the fresh scars. The word MONSTER was etched in a shaky hand into the pale skin. Merlin supposed it was fitting. Then Lancelot joined the others in crouching next to the patient cot.

"You knew you could have come to me," he said quietly as Yara took the cloth back from Gwaine, dropping it back into a bowl of water and wringing it out. The splashing water permeated the silence following Lancelot's whispered plea. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"There was no reason to burden you with my problems," Merlin said, just as quietly, because Arthur was still in the room, speaking with Gwen near the door. The tired slump of the king's shoulders told Merlin that the man had not slept for at least two days. Or, at least not well.

"If it was reason enough to do this, it was reason enough to talk with me," Lancelot said. Merlin looked away. He hated disappointing people; but all the same, that seemed to be what he did on a daily basis.

"We're not blaming you Emrys," Yara said quietly, sponging Merlin's brow again. "We're simply telling you that we're here." The girl's eyes flashed gold for a moment, and Merlin felt some of the heat inside his body dissipate. "Your fever is getting worse. I'll wait until the physician gets back, I think, before I try anything more."

"I'll go find him. I think he's in the library," Lancelot said, stepping away from the cot. Merlin watched the noble knight lay a hand on Arthur's shoulder, speaking to him quietly so that Merlin could not hear, before leaving. The door shut heavily behind him. Yara sighed, looking after Lancelot.

"I know you don't think Arthur's ready, but I think that perhaps you're not sure you're ready. I'll tell you this now; in both cases, you wildly underestimate the human ability to adapt to unfamiliar circumstances."

"At the same time," Gwaine mused quietly, peering down at Merlin, "Just between you and me, the council has too much sway over Arthur at the moment for my liking."

Merlin cracked a reluctant smile.

A/N: I feel like a dog begging for scraps from the table when I do this, but please review! I greatly enjoy seeing that little review number change! And I'll need lots of happy feelings with finals so close. Stress sucks. A LOT! Everyone have a good day! :D