I'm Interested

"I love the precision of sniper rifles. One shot, one kill—they never even get a chance to see you," Garrus commented as he held up a Volkov sniper rifle from the weapons bench in the cargo bay. Both he and Wrex were discussing weapons.

"Sniper rifles are for weaklings and cowards," Wrex mocked in response. "Give me a shotgun any day. There's nothing quite like staring your enemy in the eye, just before his flesh is shredded to pieces."

"With a sniper rifle and a proper vantage point, a skilled shooter can be unstoppable. If the area is defensible, he can hold out for days. You can't do that with a shotgun," Garrus rebutted.

"No, with a shotgun you can just kill them all on the first day."

Shepard walked up behind them during their discussion and greeted them, "Hey guys." Both Garrus and Wrex turned around.

"Hey Commander," greeted Garrus.

"Shepard," Wrex nodded.

"What are you guys arguing about?" Shepard inquired.

"I'm glad you asked," Garrus replied, and then asked, "Tell us, what do you prefer, shotguns or sniper rifles?"

"Whichever is better suited for the situation and environment at hand," Shepard responded in a matter-of-fact way. It was an easy question.

"Right, of course. But which do you prefer all around?" Garrus insisted on an answer.

"Forget it, I'm not getting involved in your argument."

"Based on what happened on Virmire yesterday, Shepard's favorite weapons are his fists," Wrex said with a quick, snorting laugh. "Kicking Saren's ass just before nuking his base? That must have been a real kick in the quad for him."

Before Shepard could respond, there was a loud crashing sound from the other end of the docking bay. They all turned, and saw Tali next to the elevator. She had been on her way to Engineering, when she dropped some metal pipes, tools and other engineering components that she was carrying. She grunted loudly in frustration, and lividly yelled "Bosh'tet!" as she bent over and quickly picked up what she dropped.

"Tali seems… angry," Shepard commented.

"She's been like that all day. I'm afraid to go near her," said Garrus.

"You're afraid to go near a lot of things. That's why you like sniper rifles," Wrex taunted, alluding to their previous debate.

"I'm going to go see what's bothering her before you two get started on that again. Try not to shoot each other." Shepard parted from them and walked towards Engineering, where Tali now was.

As he entered the engineering area, he noticed Tali kneeled before an opened access panel on the left wall. The pile of items she had been carrying was right next to her. She was obviously working on replacing or upgrading some components. As Shepard approached her from behind, he heard her cough.

"Tali?"

"What?" She asked curtly, and turned her head. Seeing it was Shepard, she immediately said in a kinder voice, "Oh, Shepard, it's you." She placed the tool she held on the floor as she stood up. "Is there something I can do you for?"

"I just wanted to talk. It looks like you're busy, though."

"No! Don't worry, what I'm working on isn't critical; It can wait. What is it you wanted to talk about?"

"I noticed you seem frustrated. Is everything alright?"

"Oh. Sorry," Tali apologized, feeling slightly embarrassed. She knew he was right; she had been irritable all day. "I just have a fever, and I've been taking it out on… well, everything."

"You're sick, too? Do you need some time to rest?"

"No, no. Thank you, but I'm fine. It's not even an illness, really. What I have is actually an acute allergic reaction."

"An allergic reaction?"

"That's right. I can't actually get a disease from the germs of most races. For example, what's that illness Pressly's currently in the med-bay for? Chicken pox? I wouldn't get chicken pox, but I'd run a fever as my system reacted to the foreign presence. I might get other symptoms too, like nausea or vomiting."

"I see. I'm assuming you're sick because that shot punctured your suit yesterday? How is your arm feeling, by the way?"

"It's feeling fine. The slug almost didn't even hit me; it was just close enough to cause a deep scratch. But yes, the suit puncture is the reason I'm sick."

Shepard briefly looked at her left arm where she had gotten shot. The suit puncture had since been repaired and sealed with an application of omni-gel. "I guess suit punctures can be pretty dangerous for quarians, huh?"

"They are. It's usually a matter of luck how bad a reaction is, but our suits do have ways to help minimize the risk from being exposed to open air. Many sections of the suit can be sealed off, and they can automatically administer antibiotics and other medicine."

"No offense Tali, but I don't know if I could live in a suit my whole life. Suited life sounds difficult."

"It can be. We very rarely take off our suits, too; we're in them even among family. Our most important gesture of trust and acceptance is to link our suit environments. We get sick at first, but then we adapt. It's the most intimate thing we can do with another quarian."

The concept of linking suit environments was something new to Shepard. He found it intriguing. "I've never heard of that before. Have you ever—"

"No!" Tali cut him off before he could finish his sentence, "I've never… I haven't trusted anyone enough for that. Except for… well, no quarians. Uh, you know what I mean…"

Shepard gave her a warm smile. It was obvious she meant him, and he was glad to know she trusted him so much. "I'm happy to hear it, and I trust you too, Tali. If I were a quarian, I'd gladly link suit environments with you," he responded. His comment was said in ignorance of how truly significant, and intimate, the gesture of linking suit environments was for a quarian.

"Oh Keelah… wow, that's… you don't understand, Shepard," Tali responded, suddenly sounding very embarrassed. "It's not just about trust… the tradition often also signifies a willingness for, uh, intimacy… So by saying that, you basically said you'd… be interested in, umm…" Tali trailed off, too embarrassed to finish her own sentence.

Wait. Linking suit environments is like that, and yet she'd be willing to do it with me? Does that mean what I think it does? Shepard's smile turned into a subtle grin. "A moment ago you were about to say you trust me enough to link suit environments with…"

"I, I wasn't trying to—it's not always about the intimacy, I… I only meant…" Tali stopped her own nervous chatter, and thought carefully about what to say. "You… you mean a lot to me, Shepard. You rescued me back on the Citadel, and then you let me join your crew. You promised to give me that geth data. Yesterday you saved me from Saren again. You've always—you've been really good to me. I just… I care about you. A lot…"

Tali's hands were wringing together, and she stared downward at the ground; outward signs of her nervousness and embarrassment. She also felt very hot for reasons beyond the fever, and she could feel her heart pounding.

Suddenly, she felt Shepard's hands land on top of hers. They instantly stopped moving. Tali looked up at Shepard's eyes, and felt his hands slide into her palms. He gently held her hands.

Shepard looked at her with a relaxed, happy look and said, "Don't be embarrassed, Tali. I feel the same way about you. You mean a lot to me, and I…care…about you, too."

Tali's heart, which had been beating at a fast and heavy pace from her embarrassment, suddenly skipped a beat. Before she could consciously process his words—and all they entailed—she found herself squeezing his hands as her first reaction.

Did he… did he just say that? "Really? You… are you saying you're, um… interested, in me?"

Shepard stepped a little closer, and his smile widened. "You're amazing. How could I not be?"

Tali felt a flutter of butterflies in her stomach from his confirmation. "Oh Shepard, you don't know how much that… I've never—I'm just so… glad to hear that." She gripped his hands tighter.

They stood right in front of each other, close, holding hands. They simply stared at each other's eyes. Neither knew what else to say, but it didn't matter. There weren't any words necessary.

After a short while Tali finally said, "Well, I, uh… I should get back to work." She knew it wasn't urgent and that her work could wait, but she wanted some time to let her mind process what had just happened. She wanted to think about what all this meant.

Shepard understood the real reason she wanted to return to her work, and he felt the same way. He knew they both needed some time to themselves to let everything sink in. "That's fine… I have some things I need to do as well. Later on, why don't you come up to my quarters? So that we can talk some more. About… this."

"I'd like that."

. . .

Several hours had passed, and Shepard currently sat in his quarters, at the desk near his bed. He had his left hand on his chin, and held a small OSD in his right. For a while he had been staring at it, deep in thought as he moved it among his fingers, occasionally spinning it on his desk. It was the OSD that contained the geth data. It would be Tali's pilgrimage gift.

His conversation with Tali earlier had been on his mind all day. What will happen between the two of them? How well can a relationship between a human and a quarian work? And the question that bothered him the most: when—if—Saren is stopped, will Tali return back to her people?

Shepard didn't know the answer to any of these questions, and it made him feel unsettled. He wasn't accustomed to being in situations where he lacked so much information. It made him feel as if he was on a mission, lacking intelligence critical to its success.

Suddenly there was a light knock at his door, which instantly cleared his mind. He knew it was Tali, and that she had finally come to talk. The wait was over. He was eager to speak to her, but at the same time, he felt a light knot in his gut. The approaching conversation made him feel nervous.

"Come in."

The door opened and Tali stepped fourth. It closed behind her. Shepard placed the OSD on the desk, and swiveled his chair in her direction. Despite all his recent nervousness, seeing her familiar, beautiful and curvy body immediately brought relief to him. He felt happy as he looked at her, and regardless of his concerns, he was reassured of one thing: he wanted to be with her.

She walked forward nervously. It was obvious their talk earlier had been on her mind as well, and she had doubts and concerns of her own. She held her hands together as she approached, and finally stopped a few feet away, between him and the circular table in the middle of the room.

Shepard was the first to say something, "You don't need to knock to come in here, Tali." He smiled at her.

Tali didn't respond to it, but his friendly comment made her feel comfortable and welcomed.

"So… I noticed that the FTL drive kicked on a while ago," Tali mentioned awkwardly. It was her attempt to get a conversation going.

"We're heading back to the Citadel for a meeting with the Council and Ambassador Udina," Shepard responded.

There was a short period of awkward silence after his reply, neither sure of what else to say. Tali decided to finally bring up what they needed to talk about.

"I've thought a lot about our talk earlier…" she said with a light mumble, "And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought all that up and put you on the spot. I haven't really been myself with this fever—I was being stupid, and selfish."

"Selfish? Tali, you're the most unselfish person I've ever know. How can you say that?"

"Because…" Tali let out a depressed sigh, and then continued in a quiet voice, "It would be selfish of me to be with you. For several reasons. But above all, because you deserve to be happy. I… can't do that. There are so many other women that—Just, just look at me! I'm trapped in this damned suit, with this damned helmet on my head!" Tali gestured toward herself during her sudden outburst. "You wouldn't even be able look at my face any time you want! It's just not—you shouldn't have to…"

Tali stopped, and sighed again. She then continued, in a slow and solemn voice, "You deserve better than that—better than me. You deserve someone that can make you happy… someone you can enjoy, whenever you want." She hung her head low, as if in shame.

Shepard stood up from his chair and approached her with a brisk and determined step. He took her hands and stared right at her eyes; he knew exactly what he wanted to say. "You're right, I deserve to be happy. And that's exactly why I want you. You make me happy. More than anyone I've ever known. Look, I know your immune system is weak, and a relationship with you will have its challenges. And you know what? I don't care. You're worth it, and I'll do whatever I have to, to make this work."

"I, I'd understand if you—but…" Tali tried to respond, but didn't really know what to say. She stopped, and just looked at Shepard's eyes. He gazed at her with all the sincerity an individual could have. Looking at his eyes, it became apparent to her that he had made up his mind. He truly wanted to be with her. "Thank you… you don't know much how that means to me… Just—thank you…"

Shepard's face had been tense with a determined expression as he spoke, but it relaxed as he heard her reply. A smile grew as he looked at her. The two quietly stared at each other for a few seconds, and then Tali suddenly threw her arms around him and hugged tightly. Shepard returned the gesture, placing his arms around her and embracing her.

They stood there, holding each other for a long time. This was a moment of great happiness for both of them. The feelings they had been harboring in their minds for what felt so long now, had finally been revealed to the other. And they were both accepting of each other. They both cared for each other, and wanted to be together.

But there was an unresolved issue. One that nagged in the back of Shepard's mind, preventing him from fully enjoying the moment. He imagined Tali felt it too. As much as he wanted to ignore it and just focus on the current happiness, he knew it had to be brought up. Perhaps it could be resolved right now, though it seemed unlikely.

"There's something I want to know," he said as he slowly pulled away from the hug. He kept his hands on her back.

"Yes?" Tali asked, her hands lightly holding unto Shepard's upper arms.

Shepard's smile disappeared, and his happiness faded. "The geth data I promised you—your pilgrimage gift—It's on my desk over there," he gestured with his head in its direction. He then asked, "What's going to happen after we stop Saren? What are you going to do?"

Tali felt a sudden knot in her stomach. Though she was aware that the topic was important, and unavoidable, she didn't want to think about it. She was going to have to make an impossibly difficult choice; one that would change her life.

"I… don't know. I don't know what I'll do. I want to stay here on the Normandy, with you. But it just doesn't feel right to not return to my people." She hesitated for a moment and asked, "What do you think I should do, Shepard?"

"This is your choice, Tali. I can't make it for you."

"I know. But I'd still like to know your thoughts."

Shepard thought briefly and said, "Do you remember on Virmire, when I said I didn't want to give you the geth data? Well, this is the reason why. I want you to stay."

"It's what I want, too. It's what my heart tells me to do. But it feels so selfish; like I'm putting what I want over the good of my people. The flotilla has been my whole life until recently. I can't imagine what they would think back on the Fleet if I didn't return. What my father would think…"

"I understand if it feels selfish, but don't forget; the work you're doing here is more important than anything any quarian has ever done. We're working to save countless trillions, the entire Migrant Fleet included. Even if we stop Saren, the reapers will still be out there somewhere. We'll need to make sure they can never threaten us again."

She thought over his words for a while and finally said, "Oh Shepard… I, I just don't know. The time I've spent here has been the greatest of my life, and I want to stay with you so much, but I keep picturing how angry my father would be—how disappointed my people would be; there's so much expected of me. We're such an insular people, and they wouldn't realize the significance of our work against the reapers." Tali's voice wavered as she spoke, as if close to tears. This choice felt impossible to her, and it made her very distressed.

Shepard observed her, and felt sympathetic. It bothered him to see her so upset. He positioned his arms so as to hug her, and she immediately accepted his intended gesture. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and hugged tightly.

Although Shepard wanted her to stay, and felt it was ultimately the right choice—not only for his sake, but for the sake of stopping the reapers—he above all wanted her to be happy. He couldn't imagine how difficult this decision was for her, and it saddened him to see her so troubled in what was supposed to be a time of happiness.

"You know what, Tali, let's not talk about this anymore right now. It may not even matter—if Saren succeeds, then there won't even be a choice for you to make." The prospect of all organic life being exterminated didn't seem like much of a comfort, but it gave them an excuse to avoid the topic. If only for a while. "We don't know what'll happen in the future, or how long we'll even be on this mission to stop Saren. Let's worry about it later when we know more. These things always have a way of working themselves out."

"Thank you…" Tali answered, very quietly.

After a short moment, Shepard let go of Tali and separated from their hug. He held her shoulders and smiled at her. "No matter what you choose, your people will still get that geth data. You'll be serving them either way, and I know how important that is for you."

Tali smiled weakly under her mask. Shepard then continued and said, "Speaking of which, let me get it. I did make a promise, after all." He walked over to his desk, grabbed the OSD, and then walked back.

"Thank you. My people—I—owe you a great debt. I wish I had some way to repay you."

"You already have, Tali."

She then reached forward to take the OSD, but Shepard suddenly pulled his hand away. He grinned at her with an amused look and said, "Don't you remember our talk on Virmire? You need take it by force, that way I don't get in trouble if anyone ever asks."

Tali laughed softly, which made Shepard very happy to hear; raising her spirits was what he intended. She then asked, "Come on, is this really necessary?"

"No. But it'll be fun. Now come, show me what you're made of."

Playing along, Tali placed her hands on her hips and said, "Oh, you think you're so tough, huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't bet against me."

Tali then quickly swiped forward, aiming for his hand in an attempt to snatch the OSD, but Shepard reacted quickly and pulled his hand back.

"Is that all you have? Come on little quarian, you'll have to do better than that," He playfully taunted.

"'Little quarian' huh? I'll show you what this 'little quarian' can do…" Tali retorted, and immediately leaped forward, pouncing on him. With her hands pushing against his upper body, Tali caused Shepard to stumble backwards and fall unto the bed. He landed on his back with Tali on top of him. As they fell, Tali managed to grab at his hand, and pull the OSD from it.

"Hah!" Tali said with a laugh, victorious over Shepard.

Shepard just laughed and said, "Well done."

"You should know better than to underestimate your opponent, Commander. Didn't they teach you that during your fancy N7 training?" she teased as she hovered over him. She slipped the OSD into a pocket.

"'All warfare is based on deception.' You may think you won, but in reality I'm the victor here."

"Is that so? How do you figure?"

"Because I have you, on top of me, in my bed…" he answered with a smirk.

"Keelah! You bosh'tet!" Tali embarrassingly exclaimed. She then attempted to get off him, but he just grabbed the sides of her waist and pulled her back down on him. They both laughed, and Tali stayed in place, not trying to get up again. She kept herself held up with her arms, and had one leg on each side of Shepard.

After staring at each other for a short while, Tali finally relaxed her body and lowered herself so that she lay on top of him. She rested her head on his chest, and stared off to the side. Although she wore a helmet, she was still able to hear his heartbeat thanks to its audio enhancements.

Shepard's hands were on her back, slowly moving up and down the length of her spine, caressing her. Tali closed her eyes for a moment, and softly exhaled as she imagined what it would be like to actually feel his fingertips on her bare skin. She hoped to find out, one day.

Several minutes passed with them lying together, with her on top of him. Neither said a word; they just enjoyed the feel of the other's body. There were no sounds beyond the noise made by the ship, and there was no movement beyond Shepard's hands caressing Tali's back. Finally, Shepard said something.

"Do you remember that night you slept here?"

Tali nodded her head in response, the side of her hooded helmet lightly rubbing against his chest.

Shepard continued, "Every time I offered after that, you insisted it wasn't necessary, and that you were sleeping well in your pod. Was that true, or were you just being polite?"

"I was just being polite at first, but after a while I did get use to the quiet. I really wanted to sleep here again, though. I just didn't want to take your bed from you."

"That's what I figured." He paused for a brief moment, and then added, "Why don't you stay here tonight? It's a big enough bed, we can share it."

Tali lifted her head from Shepard's chest and looked at him. She then reached with her hand, and gently placed it on his face, lightly caressing his cheek. "I would really like that."

Shepard looked lovingly at her, and then gently guided her off him with his hands. As soon as she was off his body, he moved up on the bed and oriented himself so that he lay along its length. Tali then crawled up and dropped down right next to him. A quiet, happy giggle escaped her mouth as she laid down with him.

Once Tali was in place, Shepard positioned his arm around her, and she instinctively cuddled in closely against his body. Her head rested on his shoulder, and she placed her arm on top of his torso, her hand on his chest. She began to tenderly stroke it, her index finger moving up and down the indented line in the center, which separated his pectorals.

"I've never been like this with somebody before. This is so nice…" whispered Tali. Shepard's only response was to give her a light squeeze with his arm.

Between the Normandy's noise in Shepard's quarters, and the blissful comfort of being cuddled in with him, it wasn't long before Tali felt her eyes getting heavy. The stroking gesture of her hand slowed down, and eventually stopped. She fell asleep.

It was the best sleep she had ever gotten.