I'll Look Into This

"Hey, wake up," a voice whispered gently.

Tali's eyes opened, and she turned her head to look over her shoulder. Into focus came Shepard's face, and she felt his hand on her bare shoulder.

"Hey," Tali said happily, though her voice was noticeably sleepy. She turned and rolled to her other side so as to face him, since he sat on the edge of the bed. He was wearing the clothes he had briefly worn the previous night, an undershirt and some pants, while Tali was still laying naked in the bed, under the covers. "What time is it?"

"It's pretty early," Shepard answered. "Sorry I woke you, but I was a little concerned—you dozed off last night without putting your suit back on."

Tali yawned, which ended in a soft moan. She then said, "It's bad for me to be out of my suit for so long, but I was so comfortable last night…"

Just then Tali realized she didn't feel as sick as she had expected. Her throat was sore, she could tell she had a fever, and the pressure in her sinuses gave her a headache, but it seemed like a minor reaction considering the several hours she spent outside of the suit.

Thinking back, it made sense that her reaction wasn't particularly punishing. There was a lot in her favor last night: she took antibiotics, an immuno-booster, and herbal supplements, after all. But there were other major factors too, such as the fact that Shepard showered just before their intimacy, and the newly installed sterilization unit in the antechamber, which ensured that her system only really had to contend with the foreign presence of Shepard's body. Still, while she logically knew why her reaction was relatively minor, it didn't take away from her feeling pleasantly surprised.

"How do you feel?" Shepard asked as he delicately placed a hand on Tali's face, and caressed her cheek.

Tali put her hand on top of Shepard's, kissed his palm, and answered with a smile, "Happy. Loved, and in love…"

Shepard smile back at her and said, "You know that's not what I meant." While she hadn't commented on her health, which is what Shepard was worried about, her response did communicate to him that she probably wasn't feeling very ill.

"Much better than I expected," Tali answered. "I'm still sick, but considering that we… well, you know…" she grinned, "I'm grateful it's not worse."

"That's great news," Shepard said, and then laid down next to her, with his arm around her. She instinctively rested her head on his shoulder as she cuddled in closely. "Do you think you'll adapt to my germs?" he asked. "I always feel guilty when you get sick because of me."

"Don't, Shepard," she responded, nestling in closer against him, "I love the time I spend without my mask on with you, and it's always worth the reaction I get. Last night especially was… it was just amazing. Just thinking about it makes me feel tingles." Her comment was literally true—thinking about the previous night gave her a sudden, pleasant chill along her neck, and the feeling of butterflies in her stomach.

"But to answer your question," Tali continued, "yes, I'll adapt to you; I've even noticed my reactions getting a little less severe each time I've taken my mask off. I'm technically immune to all your germs, so it's just a matter of my immune system getting used to their presence. The sterilizer will help a lot with that, too, since it means no outside bacteria gets in here."

"I'm really glad to hear that," Shepard said. "It's good to know that thing will help."

After their words, a brief period of silence came upon them, as they lay next to each other, staring up at the ceiling. Tali then interrupted it with a disappointed sigh, and said, "I should probably put my suit back on, though… the medicine I took to boost my immune system has worn off by now—my reaction will get a lot worse if I stay like this."

"I understand," Shepard responded. After an interval, he looked right at Tali, and with a sly smile he asked, "So… do you need any help putting your suit back on?"

"No, I don't need any help…" Tali answered lightheartedly, paused for a moment, and continued, "But that doesn't mean I don't want it…" She smiled back, and gave him a kiss.

. . .

It was the following day, and Tali sat in a cab, zooming through the air in one of the Citadel's skyways, alongside various other cars and transports. The vast metropolis that existed on the ward beneath her spanned far into the distance, and in the sky above she could see the other four wards, each one covered in an illuminated grid of streets, with twinkling lights slowly streaming above them. Off in the distance in front of her, above the horizon of the city, was the great ring of the Presidium, which held all five wards together. The Citadel existed within a nebula, which was illuminated by the nearby star, Widow. The hazy, pale gray fog that served as the backdrop of the Citadel almost made it seem like the space station existed within some planet's atmosphere.

Tali was by herself, and in the seat next to her was a large bag from the Nelida Fabric and Cloth store. Inside it was a rolled and folded, six by four foot sized tapestry. Embroidered unto it was a beautiful design of swirls and curves, all in varying in sizes, oriented in flowing patterns. The colors of it ranged from very light blue to almost indigo, all intertwined and mixed together. She had seen many beautiful fabrics and tapestries in the store, but Tali loved this one since the moment she first saw it; it reminded her of a clear blue, yet slightly turbulent ocean.

Shepard had recalled Tali's past descriptions of the small cubicles that quarians used as living spaces, and yesterday he had encouraged her to purchase some decorative cloth for their cabin. "I want you to feel at home here," was what he said. Tali affirmed that it wasn't necessary, that she felt at home already, but she couldn't deny she liked the idea. Something to cover the dull, metallic walls of their cabin—especially the barren wall behind their bed—sounded nice.

The fabrics quarians used to decorate their living spaces were rarely anywhere near as elaborate as what she had purchased. Typically they were only solid colors, or maybe with some simple patterns. It felt rather indulgent for her to purchase something so richly detailed to hang on a wall; not only were such fabrics rare aboard the flotilla, but the nicer fabrics were often reserved for suit decoration. It was considered selfish to use them to decorate living areas. Still, she couldn't ignore that she found it beautiful, and it appealed to her greatly.

Tali's mind was clear as she gazed out at the vastness of the Citadel ward she was currently flying overhead of, often passing tall skyscrapers which gave split second interruptions to the vistas at her sides. In the peace and tranquility of the cab ride, her mind was free to wander anywhere it wanted. She started to think about the events of the last couple days.

She had gotten exiled from her people the day before yesterday. The passionate, intimate experience she had had with Shepard shortly after the trial did a good job in soothing the pain she felt from the tragedy of the day, but now that some time had passed and the bliss of the experience had faded, her mind had been wandering back to the two tremendous losses she suffered: her people, and her father.

It was hard, believing that she would never see the fleet again. She would never walk amid the crowded deck of a quarian vessel, hearing the loud, yet comforting noise of old air filters and engines rumbling in the background, or the murmurs of people conversing in her native language. But even that knowledge seemed bearable to her. After all, she still had a home, with someone she loved deeply and wanted to spend her life with. And there was the small comfort of the possibility of one day being allowed back among her people; an exile wasn't necessarily permanent. If she could do something amazing for them, something to prove herself… it was possible for her exile to one day end. It didn't seem likely to happen, but the mere possibility gave her a small spark of optimism.

Her father, however, was something she had truly lost forever, and was her greatest source of grief. Unlike the exile, which had the possibility of one day being undone, there was no way for him to ever be brought back. She had to cope with knowing that she would never again see him, hear his voice, or talk with him. He had inadequacies as parent, and Tali often wished he gave her the affection a father was supposed to give his daughter, but that didn't change the fact that he was her father, and her only remaining biological family. He had helped raise her, and all the skills she had learned from him were what allowed her to be of help in stopping the Reapers. Despite his shortcomings as a parent, she would always have a profound love for him, evident more than ever by the fact that she preferred to be sacrifice to exile, than have his memory tarnished.

Tali's eyes began to sting lightly; that familiar, subtle sting one feels on one's eyes just before they water up, and give birth to tears. She blinked a few times, clearing her eyes, keeping the tears from forming.

She wished he were still alive. She wished that he knew of her relationship with Shepard; she regretted that he died before she could tell him. It was unlikely he would be very happy about it, but that didn't matter—Tali knew beyond a doubt that Shepard was the man she wanted to share her life with, and it would have only been a matter of time before her dad could see it. It now seemed impossible for her dad to never accept Shepard. How could he not?

A little smile appeared on Tali's face, slowly building up to an inevitable laugh, as she thought of a hypothetical situation of her father meeting Shepard. She imagined herself with a cough and a congested voice—the reaction of a previous intimate experience with Shepard—and her father noticing her illness, as well as the subtle nuances in the body language inadvertently produced by two people in love. And then him going into a fit of rage, as he concluded that Shepard was responsible for his daughter's illness.

Tali laughed softly to herself, imagining her father yelling at him, maybe even taking a swing at him. Such an experience would be frightening and dramatic in person, but as a spectator observing with her mind's eye, she found it humorous; Shepard trying to calm him down while being yelled at. Tali sighed to herself, and ended the funny mental image. Her mind then wandered to what Shepard was doing right now.

She was a little worried about him. They had come to the Citadel to help out both Thane and Garrus with some personal issues. Shepard had gone with the two of them several hours ago to take care of their problems, hoping to keep them focused on their mission to stop the Collectors. She wasn't too familiar with what Thane's problem was—something about his son getting in trouble. But she knew well that Garrus had a burning vendetta against the one who had betrayed his team back on Omega.

She wasn't particularly worried about their safety; those three were possibly the best fighters on the Normandy, each one an amazingly skilled sniper. It would take an army to best them in a battle, and even then, it would no doubt be a pyrrhic victory. She was worried about what could happen if they did find the person Garrus was after. Would Shepard really let Garrus kill him? She didn't want to think about it—despite what that person did, and the people that died because of his actions, she didn't want to imagine Shepard letting Garrus kill someone in cold blood.

Normally she wouldn't worry about such things. In all her travels and missions with Shepard, she observed him consistently spare people's lives; even the lives of dangerous people, that arguably deserved to die. It was his nature to be merciful. Perhaps his deeply embedded belief of having received a second chance at life, inclined him to want others to have the same. But despite having seen numerous examples of his compassion, she couldn't ignore that it was Shepard who suggested she not come along; was it because he didn't want her to see them kill the traitor?

As Tali pondered this, her mind also started to consider that she had noticed Shepard seemed to have changed since when she met him, over two years ago. As she got closer to him, and their relationship grew, he seemed to become more prone to anger; more likely to lose his composure. Never against her, of course, but at external sources. It reached its apex the day before last, when in the Normandy's airlock, she witnessed his frightening outburst. So much was his anger that it had to be unleashed, and unleashed it was, in the form of an assault against the airlock wall. Such loss of control was something she wouldn't have imagined from him. And before that, were his particularly hostile words against the Admiralty.

It suddenly became clear to Tali, that it wasn't so much that he had actually changed, but his behavior was only different in matters that concerned her. With their relationship having blossomed, he had become particularly overprotective of her. For a brief moment, she remembered back to when she had the argument with Navigator Pressly, and how Shepard stayed relatively neutral in regards to it. But now, she wondered, what would happen if someone showed racism against her, now that they were so close?

A small smirk appeared on Tali's face. Although she felt some concern over the fact that his attachment to her could potentially cause a problem one day, she couldn't deny that it also made her feel very special. Powerful leaders, politicians, and even a Reaper had failed to influence Shepard in any way; and yet, she could, for no reason other than that he loved her.

The cab suddenly went into a slowing decent, and landed in the docking bay. Tali could see the Normandy a short distance away. She paid the cab fare, got out, and walked toward the ship while carrying her bag, her mind still active over recent events.

. . .

Tali finished hanging the new tapestry on the wall behind their bed. She really liked how it looked, and felt it to be in the perfect spot. It was clearly visible from anywhere in the room, and the empty wall behind their bed really needed some kind of decoration.

Shepard still hadn't returned, but just a short moment ago he had sent her a message, letting her know he would return soon. In his message, he also let her know that things had gone well with both Garrus and Thane. While he didn't specifically state it, his wording made it obvious to Tali that they hadn't killed the person Garrus was after, which was of great relief to Tali. She concluded he must have talked Garrus out of it.

Tali then went down to Engineering to kill some time with some basic maintenance. As the door to her work area opened, she saw something unexpected that, for a split second, gave her a very surreal feeling.

There was another female quarian inside, cleaning an engine.

Confused, Tali approached the quarian, who hadn't noticed her arrival, and curiously asked, "Hello?"

The quarian turned and saw Tali, and immediately dropped what she was doing so as to greet her. "Oh! You must be Tali'Zorah, the Normandy's main engineer?"

"Yes, that's me. But who are you?"

"My name's Lia'Vael nar Ulnay," she answered, "It's an honor to meet you, ma'am—I remember hearing about how you were part of the team that stopped the turian leading the geth, who attacked the Citadel."

"It's good to meet you, too," Tali said, feeling slightly flattered. She then asked, "How did you end up here?"

"Your captain helped me out with some trouble I was having earlier in the day. Afterwards, I mentioned that I had been having a hard time finding work, and he offered me a temp job performing maintenance on your ship while you guys are docked here on the Citadel."

With her curiosity over Lia'Vael presence satisfied, Tali said, "That sounds like Shepard. So you're on your pilgrimage?" She knew she was, since Lia was still using her birth ship's name. Tali also found herself a little eager to indulge the social tendency embedded into her by her culture. It was rare for her to see another of her kind outside the fleet.

"Yeah," Lia answered, "but it hasn't been going well. I came to the Citadel thinking there'd be a lot of work. EVA stuff, salvage, fixing the damaged caused by the geth. But everywhere I went, I was told they weren't hiring quarians."

Tali sighed. It was always sad to hear of racism against her people. Although she spent the majority of her own pilgrimage with Shepard, she knew what it was like to be a victim of racism; she could relate to Lia. "I know what that's like, and I know it's hard, but don't let it get to you. Things will pick up—not everyone you meet will treat you badly."

"Today was especially bad, until your captain showed up," Lia said.

"What happened?"

"I was just minding my own business, when this volus bumped into me. A minute later, he ran up with C-Sec, accusing me of stealing his credit chit!" she answered, partially worked up as she recalled the frustrating experience. "And even though the officer scanned me and found nothing, he wanted to take me to the C-Sec office. Just because I'm a quarian, he assumed I had taken it and stashed it somewhere!"

"Bosh'tet," Tali said in an angry whisper.

"Then your captain showed up. He was curious about what was going on, and talked to us—I was really surprised when I saw he was familiar with quarian pilgrimages. He then said he'd look into it, and a few minutes later, he came back. It turned out that stupid volus had left his chit at some store."

"So Shepard found it and cleared you of the charges?"

"Yeah, I was so relieved that he found that damn chit," Lia said. "But that wasn't the end of it. Instead of saying he was sorry, that volus just justified himself by saying that I 'could have stolen it,'" Lia quoted the Volus in a mocking voice. "And the C-Sec officer gave me a warning that he'd be keeping an eye on me—even threatened to run me in for vagrancy!"

Keelah, that's terrible. But, if I know Shepard… Tali thought, and asked, "Did Shepard say anything to them?"

"He did, and it was great!" Lia answered enthusiastically. "He shoved the volus so hard that he almost fell, and completely called him out on his attitude. Then he grabbed the C-Sec officer—completely manhandled him, I thought he was going to hurt him—and just yelled at him, right in his face."

"Ha! I wish I was there," Tali said, "it's fun to watch Shepard shout."

"At that point I got worried, I thought the officer was going to arrest him. But as soon as your captain mentioned he was a Spectre, the officer had to back off, and then just walked away cursing to himself."

"Good," Tali said, "I'm glad Shepard put those two in their place. Hopefully they'll think twice before mistreating others again."

"I'm just glad that he got me out that trouble, and that he offered me a temp job working on your ship," Lia said, and then added, "By the way, this ship is incredible! I've never seen a ship like this before."

"The Normandy's the most advanced ship I've ever served on. You should hear how quietly it runs, I had trouble sleeping until I… uh, well, it's not a problem anymore," Tali said, ending her comment with a slightly sly tone. Sleeping with Shepard is a far more comforting than any background noise…

"So you got use to the quiet?" Lia asked. She was familiar with how a quiet ship would make a fellow quarian uncomfortable.

"Something like that…"

"What Tali means to say is that she sleeps well in Shepard's room," Engineer Kenneth Donnelly commented from the other side of Engineering; he had been eavesdropping on their conversation all this time.

"Kenneth, hush!" Engineer Gabriella Daniels immediately said, "Stay out of their conversation."

"Yes, mum," Kenneth responded, going back to his work.

Lia'Vael said in a surprised, yet quiet voice so as not to be overheard by the others, "Wait… so you and him…?"

Tali walked in the direction of the fusion core, and gestured with her hand for Lia to follow, so that they could talk with some privacy. Once in front of it, she said, "Yes, Shepard and I are very close." She would have preferred not to bring up her personal life, but now that it was revealed to Lia'Vael, she confirmed it proudly, without hesitation or concern of what she might think of an interspecies relationship.

"Wow. That explains why he knew so much about our pilgrimages, and why he got so worked up seeing a quarian being mistreated like that."

"Well, Shepard is the type of person who would help an innocent person in trouble, no matter what race they are."

"How did you two meet?" Lia asked.

"We met over two years ago, here on the Citadel. He helped me out during my pilgrimage, too." Although, I was in a situation a bit more dangerous than being harassed by a volus… "I joined his crew afterwards, and we became close during our mission to stop Saren and the geth."

"You're the first person I know to be in a relationship with a human, but I can see the appeal—he's pretty cute," Lia said. She then asked, "How did your parents react to the news? What did they say?"

"They... didn't say anything," Tali answered, the tone of her voice made it clear that she didn't want to discuss the topic. Lia took the hint, and didn't bring it up again.

There was a brief moment of awkward silence. Lia then said, "Well, it's been really nice chatting with you—you're the first quarian I've spoken to since I left the fleet—but I should probably get back to work. I'm afraid your captain might be unhappy if he saw me not working."

"Oh, don't worry about Shepard. He's very laid back as a captain, he's harmless."

"Harmless?" a voice said from behind the two of them, "way to emasculate me in front of our guest, Tali."

They turned around, and saw Shepard behind them.

Tali and him greeted with a quick hug. Tali was glad to see him back safely. "Hey Shepard—when did you get here?" she asked.

"Just now," he responded. He was in a particularly good mood. The two incidents with both Garrus and Thane had gone much better than he would have imagined. He was particularly glad that he managed to talk Garrus out of killing his former teammate, which was something he felt Garrus would come to regret.

Shepard looked at Lia and said, "And don't worry, Kenneth mentioned you've been a big help with the maintenance."

"Thank you. I'm very grateful for the job," Lia said.

"We're actually going to be leaving the Citadel very soon," Shepard said. "So let me pay you, so you can be on your way."

Lia didn't say anything as she watched Shepard reach into his pocket. They hadn't actually discussed payment, so she had no idea what to expect. I worked for a few hours, she thought to herself, that should be worth maybe ninety or a hundred credits. I hope I get that much. I could really use the money.

Shepard pulled out a credit chit from pocket and offered it to her. "Make sure you don't leave it at a store," he joked, alluding to the volus she had the quarrel with earlier.

She took it, and her jaw dropped when she looked at its credit display. "One thousand credits? This can't be—you meant one hundred, right?"

"No, it's right," Shepard calmly responded. "This is an advanced vessel. Not just anyone can work on it, so the payment should reflect that," he said, hiding that the generous payment was primarily just to help her out.

"I don't know if I can accept this," Lia said.

"Please do," Tali said; Shepard's charity was obvious to her. "If anything, you should ask him to pay you more—you wouldn't believe how much he's spent on toy ships to put over his desk."

"I told you," Shepard said, "those aren't toy ships, they're models."

"Oh really?" Tali said as she folded her arms, and continued her tease, "is that why I found you the other day holding the Normandy 'model' in your hand, pretending it was shooting at the—"

"Anyway!" Shepard immediately interrupted. "We really need to get going. Think you can find the exit alright?" he asked Lia.

"Yes, I can," she answered. "Thank you again. I really appreciate this."

"I'm going to go prepare a few things before we launch," Shepard said, and after a brief goodbye, he departed from the two.

"This is goodbye, then. It was very nice talking to you," Tali said once they were alone again. "Good luck on your pilgrimage, Lia'Vael."

"Thanks," she responded as the two of them shook hands. "I'm glad we met. Maybe we'll see each other again on the flotilla some time, after my pilgrimage is over?"

I wish that were possible… Tali thought to herself. "I hope so..."

. . .

Some time had passed since the Normandy departed from the Citadel. Having made their mass relay jumps, they were now far away, traversing through the empty space between star systems. These were always the longest journeys. While the mass relays allowed instant travel to any other mass relay in the galaxy, most star systems didn't have their own. Traveling to such systems required FTL travel from the nearest relay. These journeys could easily take days at a time to complete, as the ship traversed through the vast emptiness, measurable only in light-years.

Tali actually enjoyed these long trips. Faster than light travel was largely automated, so there wasn't much work that needed to be done around the ship. It was also impossible for the ship to fall under attack during FTL, which greatly added to the comforting feeling of safety and peace, which she had long associated with FTL.

Tali lay lounging on the couch of her cabin, oriented to stare at the back wall. She admired the beautiful new tapestry she had hung on it some hours ago. As her eyes gazed at it, her mind was busy reflecting back on her conversation with Lia'Vael. It had been nice to talk to another quarian, especially one who she could relate to, in the wake of her exile. It felt as if she had made a new friend. It had been a very pleasant reminder of what life was like back on the flotilla, conversing with another fully suited individual, to the sound of ship machinery nearby.

Tali heard the sound of the cabin's door open, which she knew meant Shepard was inside now. She tilted her head to the side and saw him entering the lounging area of their quarters.

"That's a beautiful tapestry you bought, by the way," Shepard commented as he sat down on the perpendicular section of the couch. He had noticed it earlier shortly before they left the Citadel, but this was the first time he commented about it to her.

"I really like it," she said, "It kind of reminds me of an ocean."

It was very bittersweet to hear Tali say that. Shepard's mind instantly flashed back to the other night, to the moment after their intimate experience, where they lay snuggled naked in bed together, and he listened to her speak so fondly of the ocean. He perfectly recalled her quiet, soft voice as she spoke in just above a whisper, about having a house on her homeworld, next to the ocean. It was a beautiful memory, but at the same time, he felt melancholy as he thought back to it. It reminded him of how much she yearned for her homeworld, and how powerless he felt in giving her what she wanted so much. He wished he could find a way to—

"By the way, where are we headed off to?"Tali asked, interrupting Shepard's thoughts, which he had completely slipped into.

He suddenly remembered he never actually told her where they were going. He couldn't believe he forgot to mention it, considering how bizarre their destination was. "Oh, you're going to love this," he said. "Our destination is a derelict Reaper. We're hoping to find an IFF that'll allow us to safely pass through the Omega-4 Relay."

"A derelict Reaper?" Tali asked in surprise. "Keelah, there's really never a dull moment with you, is there?"

Shepard smiled in response, amused.

"Hopefully," she continued, "an IFF is all we find inside that thing."