I Deserve Better Than This
A bead of sweat ran down Shepard's forehead, getting absorbed into his eyebrow. He instinctively wiped it with the back of his hand, but consciously kept the metal brush he held pointing away from his face. The interruption gave him an excuse to pause his work for a moment. He stepped back and looked at the partially removed, crystal-shaped Cerberus insignia to the left of the elevator in the CIC. There were rags on the floor with small curdles of white paint scattered on them; the same kind that were entangled on the metal bristles of the brush he held. The insignia on the opposite side of the elevator had already been removed. He inhaled and quietly sighed as he leaned back in to continue his work. The strong, nauseating smell of paint stripper irritated his nostrils.
Shortly after he continued, the elevator door opened and he heard a voice call out from behind him.
"I figured I'd catch you up here." It was Jack.
Shepard turned around and saw to a somewhat pleasant surprise that she was wearing the navy-colored shirt of the new uniforms that had been purchased one week ago. She had rolled up the sleeves all the way to the top, letting her tattooed arms be fully exposed. The new uniforms were somewhat plain and generic, but Shepard liked them because of their dark navy color; they reminded him of the Alliance uniforms worn on the original Normandy.
"Jack," Shepard said pleasantly, "is there something you need?"
Jack eyed the Cerberus insignia Shepard was removing as she approached. "Finally," she said, "you're getting rid of these fucking eyesores."
"This is the last one left on the ship. The ones on the outside of the ship were removed by ship-body team yesterday, too," Shepard commented, then returned to the subject of why she wanted to talk to him. "Why were you looking for me?"
Jack hesitated briefly and said, "I heard that we're finally leaving the Citadel in a couple days."
"That's right," Shepard confirmed. "We're leaving shortly after our ship supplies are delivered. You know, this is the first time I've ever had to pay for ship supplies—the Alliance, and then Cerberus, always took care of that—and I tell you, it's not cheap. I'm suddenly thinking I may follow your suggestion and take to piracy," he said in a joking manner.
"Yeah right," Jack said in a scoffing, yet noticeably amused voice, "I know you're too much of a boy scout for that." The amused look she had disappeared as she changed topic, back to why she wanted to speak to him; she wanted to get it over with. "Anyway, look, I've been doing some thinking—do you want me here on this ship?"
Shepard's forehead suddenly tensed up, as he looked at her, confused. "What do you mean? Do you want to leave?"
"No, that's not it. I'm just… look, I like it here. People treat me alright. I don't feel like I need to worry about getting stabbed in the back. All these Cerberus people here have stuck with you even after you fucked with their leader. Even the cheerleader doesn't seem so irritating these days; not since we took out the Collectors. I want to stay, but I know I don't exactly fit in. So if want me to leave, I want to hear it now before we set out. I don't want to get comfortable here for nothing."
Shepard momentarily thought about how to respond. He chuckled and said, "Don't fit in? What are you talking about—have you seen our crew? We've got a berserk, tank-bred krogan, a spiritual drell assassin, an ex C-sec turian vigilante, an exiled quarian princess, a pilot with Vrolik syndrome; all being led by a zombie cyborg commander. Jack, there's nowhere else you fit in better."
Jack responded with only a small smirk, which was rare from her. Shepard continued, "The choice is always yours to leave, but I want for you to stay. Aside from that one incident with Miranda, there haven't been any issues with you and the crew. Not to mention your biotic abilities saved lives on the Collector Base; those abilities are essential, they make you an important asset to our team."
"Alright! Damn," Jack abruptly said, "I'll stay, I just wanted to make sure it was cool with you. No need to get all sappy on me. Save that shit for Tali. I don't know how you do it, but even after all we've been through and all the crazy shit you've seen, you still manage to sound like a pussy."
Shepard just shook his head, clearly amused; it was obvious to him that she really did appreciate his words. She was just keeping up her tough-girl appearance, and wanted to move away from the subject, which clearly embarrassed her.
"Anyway, thanks for hearing me out," Jack continued. After a brief pause, she said, "Hey, let me finish that for you." Jack nodded toward the Cerberus insignia.
"You want to remove it?"
"Yeah. Nothing would make me happier than scraping off the last of these damned Cerberus eyesores from the ship," she answered, and reached for the metal brush Shepard held.
Shepard handed it to her and said, "Alright, take it. Sometimes the paint doesn't want to come off easily, so please don't get frustrated and blow a hole in the ship. I'll see you later—I'm going to go try and get the smell of paint stripper off me."
With that, Shepard left Jack and entered the elevator, intent on going up to his cabin to shower. He was sweaty from the work of removing all the Cerberus insignias from the interior of the ship, and the irritating smell of paint stripper still lingered in his nose. As Shepard rode the elevator up, the conversation with Jack was fresh on his mind. He was glad that she wanted to stay on the Normandy, especially since in the nearly two weeks that had passed while docked on the Citadel, some of the crew had left. About half a dozen of the Cerberus crew members were gone, all with separate reasons. Samara left too; with the mission to stop the Collectors accomplished, and with no direct, immediate goal now, her code compelled her to leave and continue her work as a Justicar. However, she left on good terms, and made it clear to Shepard that she would gladly rejoin the Normandy crew if her assistance was needed. Thane had contemplated leaving as well, in hopes of spending the time he had left with his son. But he ultimately decided it would be best to stay with Shepard; the universe was still a dark place, and he could do more to make it brighter by staying among the Normandy's crew.
Shepard stepped out of the elevator and waited the brief period for the decontamination cycle to complete before entering his cabin. As he entered the room, he heard the distinct, quiet background hiss of the shower running; Tali was in the bathroom, taking a shower.
Since bacteria multiplication on skin is often the only real cause of bodily odor, quarians could go long periods of time without needing to wash, thanks to their suits' ability to maintain an enclosed, sterile environment. However, despite their suits' capabilities at preventing bacterial growth, as well as their basic cleansing systems, quarians still needed to bathe from time to time, so as to remove dead skin cells and oil and sweat residue from their skin.
Shepard grinned upon hearing the sound of the shower. There was something he had been wanting to do for a long time, and he decided now was the time. The boring, irritating work he had spent the last few hours on had left him feeling somewhat fatigued, as well as with a light headache from the fumes of the paint stripper, and he knew exactly how he wanted to unwind now. He quickly pulled off his boots and all his clothes, letting the individual articles fall anywhere on the floor. He eagerly approached the bathroom door, all the time dreading to hear the sound of the shower come to an abrupt end.
The door opened, revealing the hot, humid, steam-filled bathroom. And the beautiful, naked quarian bathing at the curtain-less shower.
"Shepard!" Tali immediately shouted in surprise, instinctively trying to cover her breasts and private region with her hands, despite the fact that Shepard had seen her naked several times before. "I'm almost done! Keelah, couldn't you wait a few minutes?" Tali relaxed after the initial surprise, but still kept herself covered.
Shepard just smiled slyly and approached her.
"Shepard, what are you—" Tali began to say, but was interrupted as Shepard stepped into the shower stream and kissed her. It took less than a second into the kiss for Tali to fully loosen up and let her arms separate from her body, and embrace Shepard. It became instantly clear to her why Shepard had come into the shower with her.
The kiss ended slowly, and Tali looked into Shepard's eyes; her own eyes were now very relaxed, as she looked at him lovingly. "Why do I get the feeling you're not in here for just a shower?" she said coyly, and bit her lower lip in excitement.
"Because, I'm not…" Shepard responded in a whisper, as he held her closely. The hot water from the shower continued to spray on them, and flow down their bodies.
Tali giggled, sounding slightly embarrassed. "The idea seems so strange to me," she said. "You know, doing… that, in here. On the flotilla, the bathing rooms are so utterly private, and it never occurred to me that—"
Shepard interrupted her cute, upcoming banter about the flotilla by kissing her again. This time much more passionately.
It didn't take long into the kiss for Shepard to reach down with both hands, grab her rear, and suddenly lift her up, holding her up against the wall. She moaned and arched her back upon feeling the stinging cold wall against her skin, but immediately wrapped her legs around him and continued kissing him intensely and passionately, as the intimacy of the moment rapidly escaladed.
. . .
Shepard and Tali lay together on the sofa in their cabin, quietly holding each other. Their bodies mostly dry, but still slightly wet from their shower, which had ended only a short time ago. Shepard wore some new, clean pants, and Tali had on a shirt. It was the shirt Shepard had intended to put on, but she had taken it from him and put it on. On her, it was loose, baggy, and large enough to cover her torso and upper thighs completely.
"You know what I just noticed?" Shepard asked, "I haven't seen you get very sick in a while. It seems you're finally getting used to me."
"That's right," Tali responded. "That's why lately I haven't been too worried about being out of my suit for long periods of time, in here."
Shepard looked at her and smiled. "It must be great for you, finally not having to wear that thing all the time."
"Well… yes and no," Tali said. "It's wonderful being out of it. All the little things I get to feel, like the cool air brushing against my skin from even the smallest movements, and how soft the fabrics of your shirt and the bed sheets feel. But it's also a little scary being out of the suit; it's not something easy to get used to. I've spent so much of my life worrying about suit punctures and the dangers of open air. Even though I know our cabin is safe, I still find myself feeling a little uneasy at times. It's hard to explain."
"No, I can understand, Tali," Shepard said. "It doesn't surprise me at all that you're a little conditioned to feeling safe with the suit on."
Tali cuddled in closer against Shepard and quietly said, "I also feel safe when we're like this, close to each other and in each other's arms." She then softly laughed, and continued, "I know you can't exactly protect me from bacteria, but I still feel safe like this."
Shepard gave her a light squeeze and said, "I'm glad." After a brief, quiet pause, he asked, "How do older quarians handle being out of their suits for long? You've been in one for what, twelve years, right? But what about the elderly quarians?"
"It's interesting you mention that," Tali said. "Some time after we started to wear them about two hundred and fifty years ago, a well known psychiatrist of my people—I forget his name—recognized that many of us go through a series of four separate stages throughout our lives, in regards to our suits. When we're young and first receive our suits, we love them; that's the first stage. We feel so free and mature and invincible when we get them; we feel like we can take on anything. It's much like when youths of other races are first permitted to operate cars and shuttles for the first time.
"The second stage comes around the time we return from our pilgrimage. We start to despise our suits and hate how we're imprisoned in them. We feel so frustrated. I suppose after seeing how the rest of the galaxy lives, we realize that our suits don't represent freedom. Instead they're like prisons, like… like the leashes I've seen humans and asari put on their pets when out in public. The suits may give us a taste of freedom, but ultimately we're trapped, and it really hits us how much, after our pilgrimage.
"That stage can last anywhere from weeks to many years. It's different for all of us—some quarians don't even experience these stages, but many do."
"What about you?" Shepard asked.
"So far, I have. I felt so happy and excited when I first got my suit, up until I left on my pilgrimage; just like in the first stage. And just like in the second stage, after my pilgrimage was over I found myself often feeling very frustrated over having to wear it, and our plight in general. It didn't help that my pilgrimage ended at the same time as when you —" Tali stopped herself, "When you... well, you know…"
Shepard sighed quietly and automatically gave Tali a light squeeze with his arm. He utterly hated thinking about what she must have gone through when he died aboard the first Normandy; he didn't want to think about it. "What about the other two stages?" he asked, going back to topic.
"Well, the third one is acceptance. We come to realize that the suits are just part of our lives; part of our bodies. We realize we'll always be in them, and there's no sense in being upset over it. We should just accept it, and be happy that they exist and allow us some freedom. We also start to really recognize that the suits grant certain advantages. Their internal life-support systems mean that hull breaches aren't immediately deadly. There's also the extra durability they provide us. They're very hard to puncture without using mass accelerator weapons; you try and attack a quarian with a knife for example, and it's very unlikely the knife will pierce the suit. Unless maybe you're a krogan, I suppose."
Tali looked right at Shepard and smiled as she gave him a soft kiss on his lips, "Although, maybe a certain cybernetically enhanced human might have that kind of strength, too."
Shepard laughed and said, "I sure have no intention on finding out. I know of far more fun ways to bypass a quarian's suit…"
Tali giggled and kissed him again. Shepard then asked, "What about the fourth stage?"
"The fourth stage deals with what you asked, about older quarians. It's dependence. After a whole lifetime of wearing the suits and dreading the consequences of open air, we become emotionally dependent on them. The thought of being out of them is utterly terrifying; like a prisoner being released from jail after becoming institutionalized." Tali paused for a few seconds, suddenly contemplating something. "I wonder… I wonder if that's why it's taken so long for us to find a new home. The flotilla has virtually always been led by the older, more experienced of my people—the ones most likely to be in that final stage of dependence; the ones most likely to be afraid of actually finding a home, where the suits would one day not be needed."
"Well, the leaders of your people better get used to the idea soon," Shepard said in an upbeat voice, "because to stop the Reapers, we're going to need both the quarians and the geth. And that means heading to geth space, and finding a way to resolve this issue with the them."
Shepard's words instantly shattered the solemn mood Tali had slipped into while talking about her people's plight. Now smiling again, she said, "I'm looking forward to it so much. You have no idea."
"Well, considering how much you've talked about your homeworld and your people since I met you, I think I have some idea," Shepard said.
Tali laughed and said, "Why do you always like to tease me about that? At least I talk about my people and where I came from. Even after all our time together, I still know hardly anything about your life before you joined the Alliance."
"There's really not much to tell about my early life, Tali. And most of what there is to tell isn't very good. I'm just glad it's in the past now; it exists only in memory."
"I would still love to visit Earth one day. I remember after we talked with the Councilors, you talked so unfavorably about it. Do you really hate your homeworld so much?"
"Well… Earth is a big place, with billions of people and vastly different cultures and regions. I only ever tasted a small part of it. But I still have no desire to ever go back. And I know you're curious about it, but it would be best if we stayed away. Humans have only known that other life exists in the galaxy for a few decades now, and many people there have never even seen other races in person. I don't think many would react very well."
"I suppose that's true. Still…" Tali sighed.
"Anyway, enough about Earth," Shepard said, changing the subject. "Are you going to give me my shirt back?"
Tali laughed and said, "Nope, I like wearing it."
"You know I can get you some of the new women's uniforms if you need something to wear when out of your suit."
"Well…" Tali said, hesitating before continuing; she suddenly seemed somewhat embarrassed. "I actually... you were right, when you said earlier I haven't gotten very sick in a while. I had noticed it too, like I said. So I recently, um… I actually bought some garments to wear, on the Citadel, earlier today…"
"Really?" Shepard said excitedly. "Show me what you bought, I want to see."
"I'm just a little embarrassed by it, I suppose. Buying clothes is such a major part of your peoples' culture, and it's something I've never done. I went to a human clothing shop, and there were so many choices… Keelah, it's incredible. All those different styles, patterns, and fabrics, and I have no idea what they're appropriate for. I just picked out a couple things I thought looked nice."
"Come on Tali, the suspense is killing me, show me what you bought," Shepard said, sitting up at the edge of the sofa, eagerly anticipating Tali to get up.
"I didn't buy very many things," Tali said as she got up off the sofa and walked toward her locker on the opposite side of the room. "It's not like I'll be wearing this stuff very often."
After digging through her locker, she pulled out the first item. A blue plaid shirt, with some red accents.
"Plaid? You bought a plaid style shirt?" Shepard said while attempting to hold back his laughter, but utterly failing to do so.
"What's wrong with it?" Tali said, sounding defensive. "I like it! All the lines and squares… they remind me of machine circuitry. I think it's very neat."
"It's just… it's such an old style; one that refuses to go away. I'm surprised they even sell it here on the Citadel."
"Well, I like it," Tali said, putting it back in her locker, "and if you're going to be like that, I'm not going to show you anything else."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Tali. If you like it, that's all that matters," Shepard apologetically said. Tali looked unmoved, and after a brief pause, Shepard added, "…and besides, you'll look beautiful no matter what you wear."
Tali smiled ever so slightly. "I'll drop it, for now…" she muttered in response.
"Thank you. Now come on, what else did you buy?"
Tali turned back to the locker. "I bought some other upper body garments, ones that aren't plaid," Tali said, putting a pretend, mocking emphasis on the word 'plaid,' "…but I also bought some lower body garments, too. I didn't buy the kind that wraps around each individual leg, like the one you're wearing now, since human legs are a little different and I thought they might not fight right."
"You mean pants?" Shepard asked.
"Yes, those," Tali responded as she turned around from the locker. "Instead I got this. The woman at the store called it a skeert? Skart?" Tali held a medium length, flowing skirt. It was black, but with a repeating pattern of dark indigo flowers. It looked like it would reach just above her knees if she wore it.
"Skirt…" Shepard corrected, looking at her and smiling. "It's very pretty. I can't wait to see you in it."
Tali just shyly smiled in response and placed it back into the locker. "I bought a couple more things too—"
Suddenly, over the intercom, was heard Joker's voice. "Commander! Commander, are you there?"
Shepard sighed and got up. "What now…" he grumbled quietly as he walked toward his desk, so as to respond via the communicator on it. Tali just looked at him, amused at the humor of the sudden interruption.
"Damn it, Commander, this is urgent!" Joker said over the intercom just as Shepard reached it.
"I'm here, Joker," Shepard said, "What's the matter?"
"We're locked down—the ship's locked down! EDI just detected the docking bay's magnetic couplers went into a permanent lockdown mode, one we can't override. And get this, our communications are completely blocked. We can't send or receive any data outside the ship! What the hell is going on, Commander?"
"Shit. I have no idea, but I'm going to find out," Shepard said. "Alert the ship. I want everyone ready. This can mean any number of things."
"Aye aye."
Shepard turned away from his desk to face Tali. As soon as he did, she handed him his shirt. "Here," she said. "Go find out what's going on. I'm going to put on my suit."
"Alright, love," Shepard said he slipped on his shirt. He then grabbed his boots and walked out the door. Before it closed, he gave Tali a small smile and said, "We'll continue the fashion show later." The door closed.
Shepard turned and threw his hand against the holographic display of the elevator, and proceeded to place one boot while waiting for it to arrive, and the other while descending down to the CIC.
As he briskly walked down the CIC toward the front of the ship, he could hear Joker on the ship's overhead announcement system.
"Attention crew, the Normandy has been locked down and our communications are being externally blocked. Commander Shepard wants everyone at their stations and ready for anything. I repeat, our ship has been locked down and our communications are blocked, everybody get ready."
Shepard reached the bridge of the Normandy. "What's going on Joker?"
"No idea Commander," Joker responded as he swiveled his chair around to face Shepard. "What I told you is all I know. We're completely locked down. This seems awfully familiar, don't you think?"
"I certainly hope this has nothing to do with the Council… there's no reason for them to do this," Shepard said, and then turned to EDI's holographic projection. "EDI, what can you tell us? Would it be possible to override the lockdown in case this isn't some kind of mistake?"
"I'm afraid not, Shepard," EDI responded in her typical calm, synthesized voice. "The lockdown protocols used on Citadel docking bays are designed so that they can only be overridden manually from within the Citadel. Also, all my external communications are blocked by a signal jammer built into the docking bay. It is a standard security device on all Citadel docking bays, that broadcasts a short range jamming signal in all usable electromagnetic frequencies. There is nothing I can do."
"Damn it," Shepard growled just above a whisper, instinctively balling his hand into a fist.
"Shepard," EDI said, "there are C-Sec personnel gathering just outside the airlock. They are attempting to hail us through the external communicator."
"Oh shit," Joker said as he switched the primary bridge display to show an external airlock view. It revealed a group of a dozen C-Sec officers, each one clad in combat armor and fully armed.
Shepard stared at the sight of the armed C-Sec officers for a few, long seconds. He then said in a quiet voice, as if it were somehow possible for the officers outside to hear him, "This doesn't look good. EDI, are you sure it's impossible for the Normandy to take off right now? There's no way at all?"
"No Shepard," EDI responded. "The only way would be to attempt to launch while still docked. However, based on the strength of the magnetic couplers, it is extremely likely that doing so will result in significant damage to the ship, including complete loss of the portside propulsion systems and an extensive hull breach."
Shepard sighed, "We don't have a choice then. I'm going to go see what they want."
"I don't like this, Commander," Joker said.
"I don't either," Shepard stated as he walked toward the interior airlock door. Joker got up and followed in his typical, limping step.
The exterior airlock door opened, and Shepard stepped outside. In front of him were the various C-Sec officers. In the mere seconds that passed before words were exchanged, Shepard noticed that none of them were humans; nearly all were turians, with two salarians and an asari. Even though turians still made up the majority of C-Sec forces, it was strange to see a group of C-sec that was purely non-human. But they were all clearly C-Sec, identified by the holographic badges on their chests, and all equipped with standard issue C-Sec heavy combat armor and assault rifles.
"Greetings, officers," Shepard said cautiously, keeping his eyes focused and unblinking on them. "How can I help you?"
Despite the fact of how heavily armed the officers were, there was a noticeable sense of hesitation and concern among them. After a brief moment, their commanding officer—a turian—stepped forward and asked, "Are you Spectre John Shepard, formerly of Alliance Command?"
"That's me," Shepard answered. "What's all this about?"
After another brief hesitation, the lead officer said, "I'm under Council orders to place you under arrest."
"What?" Shepard said in disbelief. "Under what charges?"
"Section 2190 of Chapter 149 Council law: conspiracy to commit treason."
"Conspiracy to commit treason?" Shepard exclaimed loudly, "What are you talking about?"
"This has to be some kind of mistake," Shepard heard from behind him. It was Garrus. He turned his head and saw that behind him now was not only Joker, but Garrus, Miranda, Jacob, and Jack. He could also see Grunt coming down the airlock.
"No mistake, I'm afraid," the turian said with a sigh. It was clear he wasn't happy about having to arrest Commander Shepard, the hero of the Battle of the Citadel. "We have our orders directly from the Council. Please, we need you to come with us."
Shepard didn't move, he just stared at the C-Sec officer. The officer stood uneasy, hesitating, unsure of how to handle Shepard's lack of cooperation. "We are authorized to use… force, if necessary," he said.
"Try it!" Grunt's loud, powerful voice roared from behind Shepard. He aggressively punched his palm in conjunction with his words.
"Just say the word," Jack also said, pulsing with biotic energy, "and I'll send all these idiots flying!"
The C-Sec officers all immediately raised their weapons. The asari officer also pulsed with biotic energy, as she got into a defensive pose. The two groups remained perfectly still, staring at each other.
Shepard raised his hand, signaling his team to stand down. "All of you, stand down. These officers are just following orders, and we don't need to make this any worse." Both groups relaxed slightly from Shepard's words.
Shepard then turned around to address his team directly, "I don't know what's going on, but I do know I'm innocent of their charges. I'm going to cooperate and go with them; I'll get this sorted out."
"Are you sure that's wise, Commander?" Miranda asked.
"No," Shepard bluntly answered, "but we don't exactly have many options right now. I want all of you to cooperate with C-Sec in any way they ask. Try and contact Councilor Anderson; find out what's going on. If anyone can help us, it's him."
"David Anderson is no longer with the Council," the turian officer said.
Shepard suddenly turned back around and looked at him with an expression of disbelief, "What do you mean he's not with the Council? What the hell is going on?"
"I don't have any details. I've only been instructed to arrest you, and take you to the courthouse at our C-Sec precinct on the Presidium for your immediate arraignment before the Council. They will be able to answer your questions then and there. Now please, come with us," the turian said.
Shepard turned around and looked at his crew for the last time. He wished he could say goodbye to Tali, but she wasn't there. It was no mystery why; when he last saw her in the cabin, she was without her suit, and putting on a full enviro-suit was not as quick or easy as simply putting on some clothes. He sighed quietly, and gave them a small, surprisingly confident smile. "Don't worry guys, I'll get this sorted out. I'll see you all soon. Take care of yourselves until I return. And remember to stick together no matter what; there's nothing you guys can't accomplish if you work together."
The art of fake optimism was one that Shepard, as a leader, had mastered long ago.
With that, Shepard turned around and approached the C-Sec officers with his hands behind his head; a pose he was regrettably familiar with, from his youth. The lead officer turned Shepard around, lowered his arms behind his back, and bound them together.
Shepard was lead to the nearby armored prisoner transport shuttle. After entering its custody compartment, and just before the security door closed, he heard what he both most wanted to hear, and what he most wished he wouldn't hear: Tali's voice.
"Shepard!" she yelled out as she broke through the group of Normandy crewmembers outside the airlock, and ran toward the shuttle.
Shepard only got a momentary glance at her before the door closed, but that glance was enough to burn the tragic image of her desperately running toward him, into his mind.
. . .
Shepard found himself being escorted through the C-Sec precinct on the Presidium that the turian officer had mentioned. He had never been to this C-Sec station in particular, but it was more or less the same as all the others, with various officers going about their business. Near the entrance he noticed a security gate similar to the one he had seen on Citadel Tower nearly two weeks ago, when he had his meeting with the Councilors. As an arrestee, he had entered through a side entrance, but he imagined any and all visitors would need to be checked at the gate before being allowed inside.
As he walked through the C-Sec station, he noticed the various officers—mostly turians, which was no surprise given the station's location within the Presidium—staring at him, all with looks of surprise and disbelief. There were quiet gasps and murmurs among them; the sight of the famous hero of the Citadel under arrest was as bizarre to them as it was to Shepard himself. Noticing the almost complete lack of humans within this C-Sec precinct, as well as the fact that the group who had arrested him was also made up exclusively of non-humans. He wondered if the Council had deliberately avoided sending human officers to arrest him out of concern that they would be hesitant to arrest the most famous man of their own race. It made sense, considering even the turian officers were hesitant and noticeably regretful over their orders.
Finally, after relatively short walk, Shepard reached his immediate destination, a modest courtroom on the third level. It was mostly empty, with just some guards at the door, but there was a lone figure near the defendant's place at the front, as if waiting for him. A turian, whose face paint and uniform Shepard recognized: it was Executor Venari Pallin, head of Citadel Security. Shepard didn't know whether he should be happy or worried to see him there.
Once he reached the front, next to where Pallin stood, Shepard's handcuffs were momentarily removed, so that he could move his hands to the front of his body, where his hands were once again bound.
"Have a seat," Executor Pallin said, gesturing to the small table before the judges' platform. On the platform were offline holographic emitters; clearly meant for the Council. It was no surprise that they would not appear there in person.
"Executive Pallin, it's been a long time," Shepard said as he sat down. "Can you tell me what's going on? This is all very unusual—why have I been brought to my arraignment immediately? Why are there no witnesses here? And where is my defense advocate?"
"Regrettably, you are right, Commander Shepard," the Executor replied. Being addressed formally by him made Shepard feel slightly more at ease. "This isn't standard procedure, and I don't like it. Laws and regulation exist for a reason: to be followed. Normally you'd be taken into custody, and given some time to prepare with your defense advocate before your arraignment, where the exact charges are presented to you and you're given the choice to plead innocent or guilty before the judge. If you plead innocent, the case is then taken to trial at a later point—"
"Yes, I know" Shepard interrupted. "I know how these legal cases normally work on the Citadel; they're similar to Earth. But why am I being treated differently? What's going on?"
"Much like you Spectres are allowed by the Council to operate above the law on your missions," Pallin said with a voice of slight contempt; Shepard remembered he had little love for the Spectres, "The Council is allowed to operate above standard procedure when they preside over capital offences like treason. The Council itself will preside over this arraignment, and the later trial, should you plead innocent."
"You're damn right I'm going to plead innocent," Shepard snapped. "I haven't done anything! Will I be allowed a defense advocate at the trial at least, or is the Council just going to strip me of every one of my rights, and this whole court ordeal is just for show?"
"Believe me, Commander, whether or not you're actually guilty, it sickens me to tell you that it is within the Council's power to deny you an advocate for your trial," Pallin replied. "However, it's very unlikely that they'll resort to that. It has never happened in Citadel history, and stripping such a basic right from a defendant such as yourself would result in severe public unrest, maybe even rioting. It's safe to say that you will be allowed an advocate at your trial. You just won't have one here for your arraignment. I suspect one of the reasons for that is that they want this to be over—and for you to be in custody—as quickly and quietly as possible."
Shepard sighed and shook his head. "When's this arraignment supposed to start?"
"Soon," Pallin replied. "That is all I know. I must be on my way; I have no business with this trial. I was only here under orders by the Council to bring you up to speed as to the irregularities of this procedure."
Pallin turned and began to walk away. His footsteps were quiet, but in the otherwise completely silent room, they resonated and were clearly heard.
"Executor," Shepard called out as Pallin walked away.
Pallin stopped, but didn't turn around. "Yes?"
"Are you on my side on this?"
Pallin turn around and said, "I am on the side of law and order, Commander." After brief pause, he added, "However, it's hard to imagine that you of all people can actually be guilty of these charges. Good luck."
With those words, Pallin continued on his way. Once the sounds of his footsteps were gone, an unnerving silence fell upon the courtroom, as Shepard waited for those who were both his accusers and his judges, to appear.
Shepard lost track of the time as he sat in that deep, penetrating quiet. His mind was busy running over all the possible reasons for him being there, in that defendant's chair, accused of conspiracy to commit treason. Countless possibilities came to mind, but none made sense.
Could it be my past association with Cerberus? They even once said working with them was technically treason. But that doesn't make any sense; I broke contact with them. They know I did; they would have arrested me already if my work with Cerberus was an issue.
Maybe it's EDI? She is illegal after all. But that wouldn't fall under treason law—how would they even know about her, anyway? It could be Legion, but that also wouldn't fall under any treason law. Hell, for all they know, Legion could just a regular mech in a Geth chassis.
I do know who the Shadow Broker is, that could possibly be reason for them—no, no… that makes no sense at all.
It has to do with Cerberus. They must think I'm still working for them. That's the only thing that makes sense. I hope that's the case, because it'll be damn easy to prove that I'm not—
The quiet of the courtroom shattered as a soft, hissing static noise came from the holographic emitters up front. They initiated, and almost immediately the holographic projection of the councilors materialized before Shepard. It was just the asari, the turian, and the salarian. Anderson was nowhere to be seen; the arresting turian had been right, as Shepard feared.
Shepard wasted no time. "What is going on, Councilors? Why have I been arrested? What happened to Anderson?"
There was only a brief pause before a response. As typical, the asari spoke as the unofficial leader of the group. "You have been arrested under conspiracy to commit treason. David Anderson was wholly against our decision to detain you. When we decided to proceed despite his objections, he rashly decided to resign from his position as councilor. However, he has been temporarily detained due to the risk he posed in warning you of our intentions."
The salarian then spoke, "He did break Citadel law and allow the Normandy to escape during the Saren incident, after all. His actions ended up being justified, but his history made it evident he is more than capable of doing it again, and there was no doubt among us that he would. However, since he technically hasn't done anything wrong, we are going to release him once this arraignment is concluded."
"You bastards," Shepard growled. "That's how the Council does things? You turn against each other if you disagree? What kind of a government are you running here?"
"Anderson was very upset at our decision," the asari calmly explained. "He resigned, claiming he wanted nothing to do with this. He also stated that he intended on helping you in any way possible. As stated, given his history, we had to take that as a threat. We had to detain him to assure he wouldn't interfere."
"We did him a favor," the turian said. "We kept him from getting himself in trouble. Last time he physically assaulted an official Citadel ambassador. What was to stop him from doing something worse now?"
Assholes. They wanted this—they never liked having Anderson on the Council. He was never a two-faced, lying politician like they are.
"Just tell me why I'm here," Shepard curtly said.
The asari answered, "John Shepard, you are here under accusation by the Citadel Council for conspiracy to commit treason. How do you plead?"
"I've been told that already and I'm tired of hearing it—I want to know WHY I'm being charged with that!" Shepard snapped in response.
"We'll get to that," the asari stated. "Now please follow procedure, or you will be held in contempt of court. How do you plead?"
Follow procedure? You hypocritical bastards—if we're following procedure, then where the hell is my defense advocate? "Not guilty!"
After a brief interval, the asari once again spoke up. "As for the reason for your charges; Commander, do you recall our last meeting, when I briefly brought up the principle of Occam's Razor with you?"
"Yeah. I remember."
"In a way, that is why you are here. Because we, the Council, have become aware of the simplest explanation for something that once confused us, and never made sense to us."
Shepard wanted to yell for her to just get to the point, but he stayed calm, and listened to her speak.
She continued, "At the very start of your mission to stop Saren, we heard of the Reapers for the first time. It quickly became obvious to us that the Reapers were fictional; that they were a lie created by Saren to manipulate the geth. What better way to deceive and control a race of sentient machines, than convince them that he was a servant of another, more advanced race of sentient machines? Unfortunately, you too got caught up in his lie. Or so we believed, until now."
Shepard was unable to keep himself from rolling his eyes. The asari continued speaking, either ignoring the gesture, or simply not being familiar with its meaning.
"For a long time, we were very confused at how you could fall for such an unrealistic and impossible story. You are a bright individual, Commander Shepard, and it never made sense to us how someone of your status could so easily be fooled by Saren's lie. We were particularly shocked at our last meeting, when you argued that Sovereign was not a Collector creation.
"With the findings from your last mission, you may have proved us wrong that Sovereign was not of geth origin as we once believed, but at the same time, you also provided solid evidence that the machines you refer to as Reapers are merely super dreadnaughts created by the enigmatic Collectors, and not what you believed them to be. That is what was so surprising about you stating that you still believed the Reapers to be real; you yourself presented us the evidence that proved they are not. It just didn't make any sense that you could still genuinely believe in them."
Shepard's face was tense as he stared at the asari; his eyes unblinking as he listened to her speak. He then said, "Get to the point. What exactly are you saying?"
"What we're saying, is that the true explanation for your insistence on perpetuating the Reaper myth is also the simplest: you have never actually believed Saren's lie. You don't actually believe in the Reapers, and never have. You have only pretended to. You've known all along it was a deception created by Saren."
Shepard's only response was a sudden look of confusion.
The turian elaborated. "You saw how close Saren came to conquering the Citadel. With that simple myth about the Reapers, he was able to recruit an entire fleet of geth to assist him in attacking the Citadel, and almost emerged victoriously. It is now obvious to us, that after witnessing just how close Saren came to success, and having intimate knowledge of how he got so close, you decided to follow in his footsteps."
"What?" Shepard yelled, suddenly jumping up from his seat. The chair behind him fell back. "You think I'm trying to be like Saren? That I'm trying to repeat his actions? Are you out of your minds?"
"There is an overwhelming amount of circumstantial evidence that supports our claim, Commander," the salarian said. "For example. When last we spoke on Citadel Tower, you had passed through a security gate. The log from that gate showed a number of very unusual cybernetics had been detected throughout your body. Most of them are not standard medical implants—we're not quite sure what they are, nor have our scientific advisors been able to determine their origin. Saren was also known to have unrecognizable, foreign cybernetic implants in his body; presumably to facilitate communication with the geth."
Shepard immediately said in response, "These implants have nothing to do with the geth! They were used to bring me back to life after the Normandy attack two years ago!"
"That's another thing that never made sense," the turian this time said. "In the collective medical history of all known races, there has never been a documented case of a dead person being brought back to life after two years. It's simply impossible."
"I'm telling the truth," Shepard said. "Cerberus poured billions of credits into bringing me back. They even used Reaper nanotechnology to restore the damaged tissue!"
Shepard noticed the councilors' reactions to him mentioning the Reapers again. The asari sighed quietly in frustration, and the turian subtly shook his head. It was now obvious that they truly believed that his insistence of the existence of the Reapers was merely just an act.
"There is a geth aboard your ship, correct?" the asari asked, her impatience noticeable in her voice.
"Yes," Shepard answered. He was about to attempt to explain Legion's presence, but the asari spoke again.
"We initially believed it to be a mere trophy bot, but it's come to our attention that this is not so, and we find that very disturbing. Due to their ability to self overload their memory cores, no functioning geth has ever been captured. Our scientific advisors have also explained to us that a series of built-in security measures and backups on read-only memory renders them immune to permanent reprogramming attempts; they cannot be hacked for any extended amount of time. Our conclusion is, that this geth among your crew is there out of its own free will. Is this correct?"
"Much like the geth who followed Saren were also operating under their own free will," the turian abruptly added before Shepard could respond.
Damn it. How can I even begin to explain to them that the geth were divided, that Saren's geth were the ones who worshipped the Reapers? "The geth were divided into two separate factions." Shepard began to explain; he made sure to avoid mentioning the Reapers, knowing it was a lost cause trying to use them for any explanation. "The geth on my ship belongs to a separate faction than the ones who followed Saren; they don't intend organics harm, and were not responsible for the attack on Eden Prime or the Citadel."
The three councilors looked at each other momentarily. They seemed taken aback and dumbfounded by Shepard's claim, which spat in the face in all they believed to know about the geth.
"Your ship also has a true, sentient artificial intelligence by the name of 'EDI' built into its systems. Is this correct?" the asari asked. Shepard shook his head, almost wanting to laugh at how they completely ignored his statement regarding the separate factions of the geth.
"EDI was created by Cerberus. As helpful as she is, I had nothing to do with her being on the Normandy."
"Something else we find quite troubling," the salarian this time said. "In the previous months, you recruited the famous scientist and former STG member, Mordin Solus, have you not? The very same Mordin Solus who worked on the project to update the krogan genophage several years ago?"
"Why are you bringing that up?" Shepard asked.
"Mordin Solus is one of the only people in the galaxy to have worked on a genophage modification. He has deep, intimate knowledge over how the genophage functions, down to the genetic level. It seems highly convenient that you just happened to recruit a scientist with such a specific set of skills." the turian said. "And you know who else had a major interest in the genophage? Saren Arterius!"
"His genophage work wasn't why I recruited him!" Shepard exclaimed. "I didn't even know about it when he joined my team! Look, you don't understand—"
"No, we do understand," the turian snapped. "We understand that just like Saren, you perpetuate the myth of the Reapers. We understand that just like Saren, you are allied with the geth, and are using an illegal AI. And we understand, that just like Saren, you're working on a genophage cure!"
The salarian then spoke, in a much calmer tone than his turian peer, "Your cybernetic implants, your sentient starship, your alliance with the geth, your potential cure for the genophage, the whole Reaper myth… there are simply too many parallels between you and Saren's own actions. This may all just be circumstantial evidence for now, but it's an overwhelming amount of circumstantial evidence. How can we conclude anything but the obvious conclusion that you're following in Saren's footsteps and attempting the same as him? The implants in your body and the AI in your ship are there to allow you to communicate with the geth. The genophage cure could let you breed an army of krogan to compliment your geth in battle, just as Saren did."
"Can you possibly deny in any way, that you've become a human version of Saren?" the turian said. "I wouldn't be surprised if we found a geth glider somewhere on your ship!"
"These extreme parallels to Saren, and the extreme risks they pose, are why you have arrested," the asari said. "And now that you have been explained the charges against you, this arraignment is to be concluded. Due to the extreme flight risk you pose, you are to be remanded without bail until your trial, which is scheduled for two weeks from today. Once you are taken to your holding cell, you will be allowed to contact a defense advocate of your choice. This court is adjourned."
Shepard shook his head, lost in a combination of disbelief and hopelessness. He asked in a low, defeated voice, "When you find me guilty, because I know you will find me guilty, regardless of how good my defense is, what kind of sentence can I expect?" He sighed.
The asari looked at him for a brief interval before responding. "Treason is punishable with execution," she said, but abruptly paused and added, "However, you are not being tried with treason, but with conspiracy to commit treason. The maximum punishment for that is life imprisonment."
With that, the holographic projections of the Council disappeared.
For much of the arraignment, Shepard had felt infuriated and frustrated. He wanted to shout at the councilors, as if he could somehow shout loud enough to make them understand. He had been wanting to explode into fit of rage, but now with it over, he found himself feeling neither angry nor enraged. Instead, there was only depression and pessimism; a feeling of defeat greater than he had ever felt in his life. He felt numb and utterly betrayed. He felt alone.
Much like Anderson before him, he had survived countless battles and impossible odds, only to be taken down by politics; by an enemy that could not be fought with any kind of weapon or any amount of strength.
He sighed loudly, and amidst the downpour of hopelessness, one thought popped into his mind. He found himself longing for the one thing that had given him hope, peace, and happiness since this entire nightmare with the Reapers had begun.
I wish Tali were here… he thought to himself, just as his arm was tugged by the C-Sec officer who was to take him to his cell.