A week later a bunch of people were assembled in a secret base that clearly said, "SAKURAI'S SECRET HIDEOUT DON'T LOOK IN HERE ALSO NO BILLS ALLOWED". Everyone was sitting down in some comfy chairs and socializing about why in the hell they are even there. Moments later they heard a voice over the microphone.
"Hello, everyone. I am Masahiro Sakurai of Sora Ltd." Everyone stared.
"YEAH, WE CAN TELL, MEESTUR CHINEE," yelled out a guy wearing a shirt of Tails the Fox. Sakurai was not amused.
"And that's why we don't allow more Sonic characters in Super Smash Brothers." The guy shamefully put his head down and cursed to himself.
"So much for tailschannel..."
"Anyway. I take it you have all been informed on why you are here?" Sakurai asked. Everyone blinked, confused. "...Oh. Well allow me to explain." Sakurai walked over to his computer and somehow he made a Nintendo Direct ahead of time. He pressed play, and it started out with showing pretty morbid slideshows of Bill Trinen getting beat up by various Nintendo employees.
"Man, fuck that guy," said Eduardo. Sakurai smiled and gave him a thumbs up and bowed.
"This is Bill Trinen. He is a threat to not only Smash Brothers, but Nintendo in general. I have gathered the finest twitter users in this one place to hopefully bring him to an end. Any questions so far?"
A black dude with a shirt of a black Mario jumped up. "DO I GET TO BE PARTNERS WITH MARIO AND THROW FIREBALLS AND FLY WITH A CAPE FEATHER AND EVEN RIDE YOS-"
"YES! Yes, Mr. PkSparkxx you will be able to do that and more... just please, calm down." Sakurai answered. "Bill is currently in the Nintendo of USA's HQ secretly looking for the titan-ium. It will transform him into a massive titan version of himself, and we cannot allow his plans to flourish!"
"Could just call Goku. He could Kamehameha his ass back t-"
"NO. NO. NO. I am a huge anime fanboy you don't even know the true power of Sakurai the otaku but Nintendo will not allow me to associate with anime characters. Gay as fuck too, we'd have this in the bag." Sakurai said. The random Miiverse user sat down sadly.
"Do a satanic ritual with Super Mario Galaxy 2 disks, and have the demons pull Bill down into hell," a person named Juan said. Everyone laughed.
"Damn. Too bad I already burned those pieces of shit games. That was a good idea, Juan."
"How about we all look for Smash Balls, combine them, and you hit it and transform into Super Sakurai." Auston suggested.
"BADASS. LET'S DO THAT." Sakurai said incredibly impressed. Everyone cheered, ready to begin the search. Suddenly Mewtwo walked into the room and was very pissed off.
"WHY AM I NOT IN SMASH." Mewtwo asked angrily. Sakurai snapped his fingers in a Greninja call, and sure enough the water Pokemon hopped down in front of him.
"Slip me some tongue, Mewtwo." Greninja demanded. Mewtwo made a 'WTF?' face and slapped him. Greninja used both his hands to rip open Mewtwo's mouth and he shoved his tongue down his throat, effectively choking him to death. Lucario just watched.
"Damn. That sure beats the power of aura," Lucario muttered. Another black guy got up and walked over to Lucario and hugged him.
"I wuv you sooo much African Goku," Cobi said lovingly. Lucario barfed and walked away to find some KFC. Everyone was clearly mindfucked, and they were all dismissed for the day. Little did they know, a man just arrived outside the secret base. His body was small, weak, and fragile. He was holding a Nintendo 3DS XL hoping to find a streetpass, but every time he only received messages saying, "LOLOLOLOL #FUCKBILLTRINEN." Bill Trinen was at the end of his rope. He was no longer taking any shits.
"You see at Nintendo we don't take shits from Asians."
DUN DUN DUN...