Thank you, everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorited! I regret to inform you that you must read this new chapter, possibly suffer brain damage as a result. Please send the hospital bill to Pip the Dark Lord of All, as this is all her fault. She currently resides in the Silky Pay Galaxy, the planet of Arda, in the wonderful continent of Insanity. Her address is 101010101 Gibberish Lane, Binary Code, Shmexas, and the zip code is simply 12345. You're welcome.


Glorfindel still hadn't found Lothlórien. He did, however, find a super cool white city thing that looked like it was part-mountain. It had lots of levels, which looked very hard to climb. Fortunately Glorfindel was an elf, and had legs, of which he could walk on, as that it what legs were used for.

Glorfindel ran up to the gate on the super cool white city thing and knocked confidently. A moment later, someone yelled inside and the gate swung open a few inches. A face peered out at him, one with a big nose and blue eyes.

Smiling confidently, Glorfindel smiled confidently at the person. "Hello! Would you happen to know where Lothlórien is?"

"Excuse me?" said the person.

"Who's the king here?" Glorfindel asked.

"We…there is no king. Would you like to speak with the Steward?" The person looked suitably impressed by Glorfindel, as he was an elf, and elves tended to impress people.

"Ooh, yes! More peoples to hugs!" Glorfindel exclaimed, clasping his hands together, then he blinked. "I just sounded like that little grey thing that was my first guide." He shrugged. "Okay! I would love to see this Steward guy! Where is he?"

"Uh…do you have any weapons with you?" asked the person.

Glorfindel thought about that. "I have a sword. Does that count?"

"Yes? I think you'll have to leave it here?"

"Why do you keep answering my questions with a question?" Glorfindel inquired politely, but he was actually wishing that the person would just open the gate so he could hug him.

"I keep answering your questions with a question?"

"Yes, you do – aha! You just did it again!" Glorfindel pointed accusingly for a moment, then he unstrapped the sword from his waist and leaned it very carefully against the outside wall. "There, that's done." He walked confidently toward the gate, and it swung open as expected.

The person inside just stared at him. "Um…hi."

"Hello there!" said Glorfindel cheerfully, and gave him a big hug. It apparently made him feel better, since he stood up straight very happily and smiled. Glorfindel smiled too, since it made him feel very happy as well.

"Now where is this Steward guy?"

"In his room, maybe? Or he might be in the throne room?" The person began to lead Glorfindel into the city. "If you'll follow me?"

"You need to stop answering questions with a question," Glorfindel instructed. "Someone might think it's odd."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" said the person. "It's just a habit." He looked sad, so Glorfindel hugged him again, and then they kept walking. A few minutes later, they reached a super big courtyard that overlooked the entire city, and also had a bunch of random guards standing in a circle around a tree. Glorfindel stared at it as they went past, wondering if the random guards were real or just statues. His suspicions were confirmed a second later when one of them accidentally breathed.

"Le gasp!" gasped Glorfindel. He ran over and hugged the statue/guard, then quickly hugged all of the other statues/guards. They all had stupid goofy grins on his face when he was done, but he didn't notice, and ran back to the person that was waiting for him.

"Okay, all good now."

"All good?" said the person to confirm, then began leading Glorfindel toward the really big building just a few feet away. He led Glorfindel inside, then motioned for him to wait. "Uh…can you wait here a minute? I'll be right back!" He dashed away, and Glorfindel looked around the room curiously.

"Hm…curious."

There were statues lining the wall of a man getting slowly crushed. Glorfindel gave them strange looks before he decided that it must be normal in this human culture, and he turned to face the throne in the middle of the room.

Waiting, Glorfindel only had to wait another few seconds before some guy that he faintly recognized dashed from a door in the side of the room and scrambled onto the throne. He seated himself marvelously, then turned his head toward Glorfindel and gave him an imperious look.

"I am Denethor, son of Ecthelion, Steward of the House of Gondor. How may I – oof!"

Glorfindel patted the man's head as he hugged him. "Oh, what a joy to meet you, Denethor! I've heard so much about you!"

"Really?" the man said with a hopeful look on his face.

Glorfindel thought about that for a moment, then he shrugged. "Actually, no."

"Aw…" Denethor looked disappointed, and so Glorfindel continued hugging him. He couldn't bear to see people looking disappointed.

After a minute, Denethor didn't look disappointed anymore, so Glorfindel stopped hugging him and stepped back. "Hey, 'Thor, who was that person that brought me up here?"

"'Thor?"

"Oh, it's my new nickname for you. I hope you don't mind." Glorfindel smiled.

Denethor considered it, then smiled as well. "I like it. Another!" A cup materialized in his hand, and he threw it onto the floor – where it smashed, as cups tend to break when they are thrown onto the floor.

Glorfindel stared for a moment, then he raised an eyebrow dramatically. "So who is that person that brought me up here?"

"It's my –"

BOOM! The building shook suddenly, and Denethor looked around, startled. Glorfindel winced.

"Oops, I forgot."

A second later, Elrond appeared a few feet away. He was scowling fiercely, a little blood still dripping from his nose from earlier when Glorfindel had smashed his and Celebrían's heads together. He stepped forward and shoved a piece of paper into Glorfindel's hands. "There. Copyright infringement."

"For what?" said Denethor.

Elrond raised an eyebrow haughtily. "The Eyebrow of Doom is copyrighted by me. He just used it, so I'm suing him."

"Oh." Denethor looked bored.

Elrond sniffed and vanished.

Glorfindel looked down at the paper in his hand, recognizing Erestor's handwriting, then shrugged, crumpled the document, and tossed it behind him. It landed on a passing maid and knocked her out. Glorfindel looked behind him and saw the unconscious maid.

"Le gasp!" he gasped. He dashed over to her and gave her a hug, which revived her. She screamed in terror and ran away, and Glorfindel went back over to Denethor.

"As I was saying…" Glorfindel said, "Who is that person who brought me up here?"

"Oh, that's my youngest son, Faramir," Denethor said, flipping his hand dismissively. "He's pretty much useless."

Glorfindel straightened and his eyes flashed a glowing pink! "All humans are equal," he said in a booming voice. "Do not degrade your son. What if your other son died and Faramir was the only one left, then he had a chance of dying as well? You should give both sons just as many hugs as the other." The pink glow faded and he went back to normal. "Got it?"

Denethor stared at him. "Yeah…I think I got it, but just in case, could you repeat it all over again? I wasn't listening."

"Oh, that just means you need more hugs." Glorfindel hugged him, and Denethor burst into tears. Glorfindel patted his back comfortingly. "There, there. It'll all be okay, as long as you don't go insane, try to murder your son, and then commit suicide. Shh…"

"No one likes me!" sobbed Denethor. "Everybody thinks I'm a bad guy, so I'm never their favorite! They all feel sorry for Thranduil, but we're pretty much in the same situation. I even lost my wife too!"

"Well, Thranduil is fabulous," said Glorfindel.

Denethor sniffed. "I know, but still. And also…" He paused, seeming to think. A moment later, the door burst open and the same person from earlier – the one that had led Glorfindel to this place – burst through the door and dragged some random dude in armor along with him.

"Look, Boromir!" the same person from earlier was exclaiming, pointing at Glorfindel. "See? That's the one I was telling you about!"

"Le gasp!" gasped Glorfindel, seeing someone he hadn't hugged yet. He dashed over to the random dude in armor and hugged him tightly. "We all understand your struggles with the One! Uh…kinda." He quickly patted Boromir on the head and ran back to Denethor.

Suddenly Glorfindel gasped. "Le gasp!" he gasped. "I just realized something! You said that you were Denethor, son of Ecthelion!"

"Yes…" said Denethor slowly. He wasn't confused, though, he was just wondering how far he could lean over and grab that plate of fried chicken sitting a few feet away.

"I knew Ecthelion!"

"You knew my dad?" Denethor said with a happy look on his face.

"Oh, yes! He was a very mighty warrior! He killed many enemies of the Dark One before he…ehem…" Glorfindel looked down at the ground awkwardly. "He drowned by getting his helmet spike stuck in the chest of the Lord of Balrogs."

"Oh. How odd." Denethor frowned. "I'd always thought he died of cancer."

"Pretty sure he didn't," Glorfindel said with a smile. He frowned as he looked at Denethor. Strange…he didn't look much like an elf, and Glorfindel could have sworn that Ecthelion was an elf – after all, he had lived in Gondolin for a pretty long time!

"Okay." Denethor shrugged casually and affected a casual pose, slinging one leg over the side of his throne and leaning against the other armrest. "So…what'd you really come all the way up here to ask me about?"

"Oh!" Glorfindel face-palmed. "Right. I need to know where Lothlórien is!"

Denethor gave him a long, suspicious look. "Why do you need to know where Lothlórien is?"

Glorfindel hugged him again, seeing that he had somehow gotten other than happy. "So I can go there, of course!"

"Uh…" said Denethor. "Okay. It's that way." He flapped his hand in the general direction of Lothlórien.

Glorfindel scratched his head. "Last time someone flapped, I couldn't find it. Could you spare anyone to take me there?"

"Sure!" Denethor looked around. "Hm, can't spare Boromir, he is way too important – but there! Yes! Faramir can guide you there! He's not important at all!"

"But I've never been to Lothlórien before," Faramir said. "Do I have to go?"

"Yes!" Denethor snapped.

Glorfindel quickly hugged Denethor again to make him happier, then ran across the room to hug Faramir. Faramir smiled happily at the hug, but Denethor just kinda grunted and shrunk down into his seat.

"Well, you've got your guide," said Denethor, and flapped both of his hands at them. "Go on now, find Lothlórien."

Glorfindel beamed. "Okay! Thank you!" He bounded out of the building, Faramir slinking behind him, wrapped in his Ranger cloak again.

Behind them, Denethor whispered to Boromir, "Quickly now! Bring me that book about my dad. I need to see if he really died fighting a Balrog. So marvelous!" Denethor clapped his hands together, giggling maniacally.

Boromir just shrugged and did as he was told, used to his father's odd requests.

Meanwhile, Glorfindel and Faramir had just reached the first gate to the city. Glorfindel picked up his sword and strapped it back to his waist. Faramir gave it an admiring look.

"Where did you get that amazing sword?"

"Uh…" Glorfindel looked down at it and scratched his head. "I can't remember. I think someone gave it to me for a birthday present."

"Cool!" exclaimed Faramir. "It looks super awesome! Are you really good at fighting with it?"

Glorfindel smiled happily. "Of course!"

"Whoa!" exclaimed Faramir. "How many Orcs have you killed with it?"

Glorfindel looked horrified. "I don't kill Orcs, that would be inhumane! Or…inelfane. Or inorcane. But anyway – why would I kill a poor innocent Orc? I just hug them and it makes it all better!"

"Hugs make everything better?" Faramir repeated with a very doubtful look on his face.

"Of course!" said Glorfindel cheerfully.

Suddenly an Orc sprang from a hole in the ground and rushed toward them, scimitar drawn. "Gragggghhhh!" it growled.

"Le gasp!" Glorfindel gasped. He quickly ran to the Orc and hugged it. There was a pop, and an elf appeared, who looked extremely confused. He looked around, then down, then up, then around again, and then he screamed in terror and dashed away.

Glorfindel smiled happily. "See?"

"That was weird?" said Faramir. "Uh. Anyway. Follow me, I guess. I think I know where Lothlórien is." He started walking, and Glorfindel followed him.

And far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far…

Far away, an evil person dressed in white cackled as he looked into a magical swirly ball.


YES. HAHAHAHAHA. Insanity rules! *cackles evilly*
And...now I've got that out of my head...
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