Attack on Titan: Left Behind
Chapter 6
-Year 845, five weeks after 29th Expedition-
It was a broiling day in Shiganshina District. The end of summer almost arrived, but the summer breeze still blew very hard, bringing the dry and hot wind into the whole district. It's a rare occurrence for something like this to happen, even in the hottest day of summer. But today, it seemed like a fiend had pricked a small hole from hell, letting every ember and dryness leak into mortal world and torturing humanity with unbearable heat. Everyone avoided going outside in a day like this, but the Garrison soldiers had no options but to do their duty.
"Damn! Why do we have maintenance duty in this damn hot day?!" spat one of the Garrison soldiers. "It's even hotter on the top of wall!"
"Because we can't abandon our job just because the sun is shining brighter than usual," said Hannes dutifully, although all he did was sitting on the stacked crates near the canon. "Pass me those beers."
"Hey man, you already drink more than you should," said his fellow Garrison soldier as he passed the bottle.
"What else should we do? Canon maintenance duty is boring as hell!" Hannes griped, gulping half of the bottle then looking aimlessly at the land outside the wall. "Hmm... What is that?" he mumbled, squinting his eyes.
He grabbed his telescope and looked at a small silhouette far across the open terrain. Focusing the lens, he spotted a speck…walking on the open field, apparently heading toward the Walls.
"Hey guys!" Hannes shouted. "You won't believe this! There is someone walking outside the wall!"
All his comrades stared at him with wide eyes before bursting out in derisive laughter.
"C'mon man! You should have your eyes checked!"
"There's no way a human would walk freely outside! You must be imagining things!"
"Or maybe you've had too much drink!" said another soldier then series of laughter erupted again.
"But… But I'm sure it's someone there..." Hannes insisted even though he sounded not quite sure. He gazed again through the telescope, scanning the area, but couldn't find a single sign of any human. "Maybe I was wrong after all..." He turned around and walked away, grabbing more beers from the crate.
Unbeknownst to Hannes, he was not wrong. Approximately five kilometers away from Wall Maria, someone was struggling hard between life and death to reach the Walls. She trudged, forcing her tired body forward with weakened steps. Her jacket was torn and tattered looking like mere rags; her white pants stained with blood and dirt. Taking a deep breath, she adjusted the straps of her knapsack, which had heavily scraped her shoulders. Suffering from dehydration and heat stroke, fever from infection on her injured leg, and stomach that kept growling because she didn't eat anything since yesterday weakened her considerably. Pulling her hood to shield her face from the sun, she looked up hopefully at the view of Wall Maria.
Finally… I'm almost there.
She limped faster then came to a halt, sighing sorely. From the forest at the far west, she could hear titans heading towards her direction. There were at least seven titans on the way, she presumed, judging from their footsteps that rumbled louder and louder.
"Are you kidding me?!" she shouted exasperatedly. "I don't have time for this!"
She ran as fast as she could, and every step sending a crushing pressure to her chest. A smarting throb coursed through her; the wound on her left leg began to bleed again. Neglecting the fresh crimson oozing all over her thigh to her boot, she tried to sprint faster as she saw a ten meters class emerged from the forest.
What should I do now? Wall Maria is too far away. I don't have much gas left.
Like she predicted, six more titans just came into sight, running lustfully toward her. She widened her eyes and quickly analyzed the situation: two deviant types, both were fifteen meters class, one twenty meters class, and the rest varied between three to five meters class.
If I fight them all I can't climb the wall, but if I don't fight… I will definitely die.
They were already too close before Alex could decide, leaving no options for her but to fight them all.
"You just can't leave me alone, can you?" She activated her gear and plugged her blades in, bracing herself for the upcoming battle. "Now that I am this pissed off, I will slay every last one of you!"
Meanwhile, at the top of wall Maria, all the Garrison soldiers watched in horror as they witnessed so many titans just running out of the forest for no reason. But after looking to the direction where they were headed, it was clear as day that someone was standing there.
"I told you I saw someone, damn it!" Hannes yelled.
"We need to help him!" a soldier shouted.
"Should we open the gate?!"
"No way, moron! Those titans will barge in here if we do that!" Hannes berated his fellow soldier.
"But how did he get out of the wall in the first place?!"
"Does it matter how?! He's gonna die!" Hannes focused his telescope on that small figure, which just flew swiftly into the air, landed on ten meters class titan's neck and cut its nape with one strike.
"That person has 3DM gear! He's a soldier!" Hannes shouted, very shocked.
Then, as that person fired the hook to the next twenty meters class titan, Hannes could saw a green cloak fluttered in the air with the Wings of Freedom crest on it.
~SnK~SnK~SnK~Snk~
At the Survey Corps temporary Headquarter — Heubach Castle, located in southern side of Wall Maria — all the high rank officers gathered in the conference room. Erwin Smith rubbed his forehead with his thumb and index finger, feeling so tired and dizzy. It was one hell of a meeting. It'd been four hours straight of arguments with no signs that it would end soon. The fiery tension around the oval table was surely surpassing the heat of the day.
"We are thirty days away from starting the expedition beyond the wall, but I think we really don't have enough resources to continue this operation," Mike Zacharius politely stated his opinion.
"We don't have much of a choice. Another delay in executing the expedition will set us back to where we started a year ago," said Erwin, entwining his fingers. "The fall is coming soon, and we definitely can't continue our operation in winter."
"I know we must hurry," Hange Zoe interrupted impatiently, "you know, I can't wait any longer to meet again with those majestic titans but with all due respects, Erwin, we are not ready. This is reality."
"There's still more time to get ready," Erwin insisted. "In the meantime, I will think of a way to cover the shortfall of expenses."
Hange frowned at him. "That's not what I'm talking about. What's the point of going outside the walls if we don't have enough troops to defend ourselves? Just look at the condition of our soldiers right now! There's a possibility we all may not come back alive!" She rose from her chair and slammed the table with both hands.
Beside her, Moblit Berner stood up at once, trying to calm her down. "Squad Leader, please, you shouldn't talk to him like that. It's very inappropriate —"
"Shut the hell up!" Hange yelled at her poor assistant, who slowly slumped on his seat under her fierce glare. She turned to Erwin, keeping the same glare in her eyes. "Risking lives and throwing away lives is not the same thing, Erwin. This expedition is suicidal!"
Levi sat idly on his chair with arms resting on the table, propping his chin on his hand. Examining the situation thoroughly, he looked at Hange then rolled his eyes to Erwin, who stayed calm and collected as usual. Hange had a mental problem, which caused her to be a titan-obsessed freak, no doubt about that. However, Levi had known her long enough to understand that beneath her maniacal sneer and insane obsession, she also bore a strong concern for her underlings and comrades. Judging by her livid face, he was sure that Hange was more than eager to feed Erwin to titans if he kept insisting on commencing the expedition.
Erwin, who remained completely unfazed by Hange's harsh tone, spoke calmly. "I know, but my decision is final. We will carry through the next expedition according to the schedule. I will not take any more objections," he stated unequivocally, implying his resolution to remain steadfast in his decision was not opened for further discussion.
Hange looked around the table for the support that never came from the other officers; the rest seemed had lost their guts to protest against Erwin. She shrugged, throwing her hands up in a surrendering gesture and sitting back on her chair, looking extremely furious with his autocratic decision.
"If you already made up your mind long before we discuss it, why bother hold a meeting?!" she snarled. "Our opinions are not even worth enough to be considered?! Even Keith is a way better listener than you!"
"Just drop it, four-eyes," Levi reproved her, finally speaking for the first time in the meeting. "You heard the man. No matter how absurd it sounds, an order is an order, although," he paused, turning to Erwin, "I gotta say, the last expedition was a real bummer. We got nothing but mass of casualties," he said indifferently, giving him a cold look.
"We've been over that matter Levi, don't rehash what we've already discussed." Erwin's reply was sounded too sharp, as if he already knew where this conversation would end up.
Levi scowled and opened his mouth to protest but before he could say anything, the door was slammed open with a loud bang.
"Commander Erwin Smith, sir!" Hannes barged into the room and saluted him. "I have something to report to you, sir!"
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Hange shouted, lashing out at him. "We're in the middle of meeting!"
Erwin narrowed his eyes at him. "You are from the Garrison? What is the matter?"
"Sir, we've spotted titans roaming near Wall Maria!" Hannes reported.
"What a big surprise," Levi commented in mocking tone. "I thought it was your damn job to keep them away from the wall."
"But those titans are being killed right now by someone from the Survey Corps!"
Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room changed. The tension of the meeting vaporized into thin air, being replaced by amazement and confusion. The disconcerted looks on the face of soldiers around the table were very apparent as if they were wondering whether Hannes was still in his right mind or not.
"I think booze and heat are not great combination for your mental state," said Mike, sniffing with skeptical face.
"You have to trust me!" Hannes shrieked, looking around the meeting room, many doubtful eyes darting at him. "Yes, I've been drinking, but I'm not making it up! My fellow soldiers saw it too!"
Levi, who had been looking like he was bored to death since the meeting began, stood up from his chair and walked closer to Hannes. "What makes you so sure that this guy belongs to Survey Corps?"
"I swear it! I saw with my own eyes, this man, he wore a green cloak with Wings of Freedom mark!"
"But who could that be?" said Mike in confusion, glancing at Erwin. "There's no way anyone went outside the wall without your permission."
"I have no idea who is it, but I'm sure I didn't give any orders to open the gate," said Erwin, darting a questioning look to Hannes. "Maybe someone from the higher rank ordered it."
"That's impossible," said Hannes. "The last time the Garrison opened the gate was when Survey Corps returned from the expedition a month ago. No one can pass the gate without us noticing it."
Everybody looked at Erwin, who frowned as he tried to contemplate thoroughly every possibility about it. "So, the only explanation that makes sense is that person never went past the gate," he said confidently. "And as crazy as it sounds, he came from outside the wall."
"WHAT THE HECK?!" Hange shouted incredulously. "You don't mean he's someone from the last expedition, right?! It's impossible!"
Erwin stared fixedly at Levi. It seemed like he was trying to tell him something without speaking.
Levi quickly understood the meaning behind his stare and turned to Hannes. "You saw this person fight, right? Anything unusual about it?" he asked.
"Well… I must say the way he fought the titans was incredibly impressive. He's fast, very, very fast. He killed them in one strike, and his 3DM Gear performance was the best I've ever seen. Must be someone from the veterans, I guess."
"I see," said Levi, turning to Erwin. "I'm going to help her." Then without waiting for the blond man's order, he ran out of the room.
"I think that's all for today. The meeting is dismissed," said Erwin. "All of you, go to your primary station and inform all your subordinates. We will commence emergency operation to save our comrade at the rear of Wall Maria."
"Sir, yes, sir!" all the officers saluted then hastily left the conference room.
"I want you to inform your superior and the Garrison soldiers to stand by," Erwin commanded to Hannes. "Open the gate once the Survey Corps arrives in Shiganshina District. Prepare the cannons. We need the Garrison to back us up."
"Yes, sir!" said Hannes.
"Come on, Hange." Erwin tapped her shoulder and rushed out of the room.
Hange ran to keep up with Erwin, still very confused. "Wait, Erwin, what did Levi mean with 'her'?
"It's pretty obvious," said Erwin, his lips twitching into a small smirk. "Member of Survey Corps, extremely skilled in battle, missing in the last expedition… Does it ring a bell for you?"
Her brown eyes were gleaming in bliss. "Erwin, is this what I think it is?!"
"The only one who had any odds of survival, no matter how small, is that girl."
"Yahoo!" Hange squealed. "I knew it! I knew she wasn't gonna die so easily!"
~SnK~SnK~SnK~SnK~
This is very bad.
Alexandra Ritter anchored herself at the back of the tallest titan that she had just killed and glanced around her as it fell down. In the following milliseconds, she examined the situation and arranged a tactical plan of attack inside her head.
I must eliminate the deviants first, they can kill me at any moments, but how am I gonna fight the smaller ones if there's nothing to hook to?
She narrowed her eyes, looking at smaller titans further away.
They are slow and not too hostile, easier to take down but fighting them one by one will take too much time and gas. The fastest way to kill them is to hook myself up on the big one, attack from that height and kill them all in one movement. But…
She stared anxiously at the approaching deviant that was followed by another deviant behind.
The deviants are problem. I can't predict their moves. Although I can try to limit their movements by cutting through their arm and leg muscles, I don't know how fast they will regenerate… They can slap me to death like insect.
She closed her eyes, thinking so hard about decisions she's about to make, while the deviants kept getting closer, trying to reach her.
Both are risky... Either way, I could die…
The deviant almost got her, only a couple meters left. Alex tightened her gripped on her blades, finally making up her mind. Before the titan crushed her to death, she opened her eyes and slashed its fingers. Then, she jumped and shot the hooks to its right cheek, swinging herself around its head. She aimed another shot to the nape, slicing the thick flesh in a single blow.
The next deviant came in very fast, brandishing an arm at her. Dodging the deadly assault, Alex leapt and aimed the anchors to its abdomen. She wielded her blades at her side, cutting its inner thighs while swinging herself between its legs. She released the hook then cut all the way from the hamstrings to the calf of its left foot, landing harshly to the ground. The deviant roared painfully, moving more dangerously than before; it tried multiple times to stomp Alex with its right foot. Fortunately, she moved faster, successfully dodging the attacks by running and rolling to the side. She fired the grapple hooks to its loin and reeled herself up, slashing the titan's right hamstring. All the legs movement had stopped as the deviant fell on its knees.
Alright… Now, the hardest part…
Alex bit her lips, unsure of how to expeditiously incapacitate its arms. The way the titan flailed its arms around made it even harder to get a clean cut around shoulders and armpits. She tried her best to aim at its upper back and slice the right deltoid muscle, but the cut was too shallow. She released the hook and jumped, evading a fatal slap from titan's right hand. Immediately after, she realized it was a golden chance; at the moment she jumped, its right armpit was wide open because the titan elevated its hand. Risking everything, she aimed the hooks at the armpit and shredded every muscle supporting the hand.
It worked, much to her astonishment. The titan's right hand drooped at its side, unable to move. Before the titan could react, she already flew to the left shoulder, slashing the muscles from the upper back to the shoulder. Alex aimed the last strike on its front shoulder, cutting the deltoid muscle in half, deep enough to see the bone beneath the muscles. The left hand fell to its side as a result.
Now that the deviant was completely paralyzed, Alex stood firmly at the top of its head. The time was ticking away fast because the deviant had already started to regenerate.
"Come at me! You creepy monsters!" she yelled at the incoming smaller titans, reloading her blades.
The last three titans were already within her range of attack. Alex leapt, embedding her grapple-hooks into the deviant's body and plunging toward the five meters class titan; her sharp blades carved the nape. Gliding effortlessly, she continued her vicious attack, consecutively killing the next two enemies in one speedy motion. They were so much easier to kill than deviants. Landing on the ground safely, she looked around to admire her handiwork.
"That went better than I expected," she panted exhaustedly. "Now it's your turn." She turned to face the last remaining foe.
Right before she was about to eliminate the paralyzed deviant, she witnessed something really odd. The deviant was still kneeling down, howling grimly as if it were mourning all the dead titans. The titan gazed at the steaming carcasses, completely ignoring the petite soldier's presence. Alex, feeling interested with this strange phenomenon, launched the hooks near its collarbone and reeled herself up. She grabbed a bit of the titan's bangs. Placing her feet on its cheekbone, she stared at the titan's large eyes.
"Are you sad?" she asked with a sympathetic voice. "Did you live with them in the forest? Are they your companions?"
The titan growled in a low pitch, almost inaudibly.
"If only you could tell me how you feel, what is your intention… That would be great, right?" Alex cooed, smiling faintly. "What is it do you want? Why do you eat humans?"
The titan growled slightly louder than before.
"Just try to tell —"
All of sudden, the titan roared deafeningly, an ear splitting high-pitched whine.
"Oh no!" Alex gasped, very frightened.
In one swift movement, she cut through its nape precisely, but it was already too late. From the same direction the titans she fought came from, she heard more footsteps of titans running toward her.
She fell to the ground with a loud thump, glaring irately at the dying titan. "You called them all?! I really hate you!" she shrieked.
Her body didn't cooperate well with her futile attempt to flee: her left leg was numb from losing too much blood, her lungs failed to inflate no matter how deep she took a breath, head spun wildly as though she was inside a raging tornado. Lurching forward with exertion, she eventually collapsed on the ground, hardly maintaining her consciousness. Her heartbeats went through the roof as she found herself surrounded by five titans; their sizes varied between seven to fifteen meters. Wall Maria was still ahead of her.
"Is this hell?" she mumbled to herself. "No… I've been through hell before, this is nothing compared to those days…"
Alex propped her body with her elbow, striving to stand up. She shakily got back on her feet, eyeing the titans one by one.
"Getting killed by the likes of you…" she hissed, reloading the new, last pair of sharp blades she had. "I don't mind, but please, not now…not before I meet him again and get all the answers…"
With every ounce of strength she could muster, Alex prepared her fighting stance and went ballistic. She launched the hooks at the nearest titan, slitting its nape with remarkably fast movement. It was a race with time; she betted her life on her ability to slaughter all the titans before the gas ran out. Unable to think straight and make plans, she had no better idea in mind than to keep striking as fast as she possibly could; her blades digging as deep into the flesh as they could go. The titan's blood spilled all over her body and made her wound on her leg throb. It felt like her flesh was on fire but Alex didn't have time to whine. She fired the hook to the fifteen meters class titan, cutting the nape in a spinning motion then moving on to strike another titan. The thirteen meters class was an easy target because of its disproportionate body shape; it couldn't keep up with her lightning speed.
She shot the anchors at the twelve meters class titan before reeling in the wire as fast as she could. The titan swung its hand toward Alex, trying to capture her. She dodged the slap, swung up to its head, and was ready to strike its nape. But it was careless of her; by focusing on attacking the titan, she didn't realize she was already within the reach of the other titan. The fifteen meters class near her grabbed her wire and pulled it hard toward the sky, throwing Alex sixty meters high into the air.
She held her breath; the height literally petrified her. She glanced at the top of Wall Maria. The Garrison troops were already in stand by position, preparing the canons. She thought all of the ruckus she'd caused caught their attention. But there was nothing they could do to help her. The canons couldn't possibly reach the place where she was.
Is this the end?
Her head was throbbing, her leg hurt like hell, all of her joints and muscles were aching… It seemed like agony was her only reality. She visualized her body getting crushed on the ground…her blood was splattered everywhere…her bones broken into pieces…
What am I fighting for?
She gazed at vast scenery of the blue sky in front of her eyes, the azure color that she loved so much. As far as her eyes could see, there was no wall to be seen; only a very wide expanse of earth's surface met with the edge of the sky forming a faraway thin line. She reached out to that limitless horizon, grasping, clenching her hand as if she was desperately trying to seize the world in it.
Why do I keep fighting?
She knew by heart why she kept fighting; it was only for the sake of a desire. Stupid desire, if it's not too rude to call it ridiculous, even so, imagining the moment when that stupid desire eventually happens was overwhelming her with the will to fight until the very bitter end. The only reason she struggled to survive and come back to the cage called Walls. But, whether that desire was worth fighting for with her life, she wasn't quite sure.
It's easier to give up…
She loosened her grip on her weapon and stretched out her arms to her sides. Accepting the fate that this day was her last day, she looked around her and took a deep breath for the last time.
"It's said that people started to dream because reality couldn't be changed," she thought, smiling sadly. "At least, this still counts as the outside world…"
She closed her eyes, surrendering herself to gravity that pulled her closer and closer to her eternal sleep.
~SnK~SnK~SnK~SnK~
Levi dug his heels into the sides of his black stallion with all his power. The whole Shiganshina District looked so blurry as he rode at the speed of light, scaring many pedestrians along the way. Passing through the gate felt like forever to him until the view of the outside world hit his eyes. He broke from the formation, faintly hearing Erwin's voice commanding him to stay in course, but Levi didn't care in the slightest.
Damn it! Please let me make it in time!
At last, he saw two titans were standing on the field with their mouths opening widely. His heart sank to the bottomless pit when he recognized a green figure falling from the sky.
"ALEX!"
The figure didn't respond, plummeting lifelessly toward the opened mouth.
Levi jumped from his horse, firing his hooks to the titans. Wielding his blades while flying to the sky, he maneuvered in his distinctive circular motion, delivering a fast, lethal assault to the nearest titan, killing it off in instant.
In the next tiniest space of time, a streak of auburn and green color flashed beside him and fell even faster. Using the gigantic body as a support for his feet to propel himself, he dived to reach her, successfully grabbing the collar of her cloak and embracing her body. He launched the anchors at the last titan to decelerate his falling. He crashed to the hard ground, feeling the dull pain permeating on his back. To his very great relief, the girl was safe in his arms.
Laying her down safely on the ground, Levi soared again to the sky and slaughtered the last titan in one slash. He landed near her, crouching to examine her injuries.
"You sure have the luck of the devil, rookie," said Levi in a soft, almost caring voice.
Her eyelids parted slightly, a pair of hazel eyes looking back at him. "Captain…why are you here?" she whispered.
"The Garrison soldiers informed HQ that they spotted a rookie getting beaten mercilessly by titans. I presumed it was you," said Levi, his eyes filled with concern toward her. "Are you alright?"
Alex nodded slowly. "So…you are still alive… I'm so…glad…" she whispered, before closing her eyes.
"Alex, what do you mean?" He gently touched her face, but she had already passed out.
Levi pressed his hand hard on the wound on her leg, trying to stop the bleeding. Scary thoughts ran through his mind as he tied his handkerchief into a tight knot around her wound, hands trembling in dread.
If I was too late, she could had died…
"Levi, how is she?!" Hange shouted from her horse. She and the rest of Survey Corps had just arrived.
"She's alive, dirty as fuck, but alive," said Levi.
"Oh, thank goodness!" Hange jumped from her horse and knelt beside Levi, goggling at the unconscious soldier. "She looks very awful… But she's really alive! This is miracle!"
"She's alive," Levi repeated, gingerly picking her up.
Erwin dismounted from his horse and looked around; hot white steam emerged from the carcasses, creating a streams of thick white smoke in the air. "Titan carcasses…these all are her doings?"
"You can credit me for the last two that almost bit her head off." Levi glanced at the closest carcasses and walked to his horse, passing Erwin without looking at him.
"Are you still resenting me now, Levi?" asked Erwin.
Levi stopped but didn't take his eyes off of the girl in his arms. "I'm just relieved she's still alive."
~SnK~SnK~SnK~SnK~
The afternoon wore on. By dusk, the summer air eventually cooled off a bit, as the mild wind swirled into the bedroom and brushed his raven hair. Levi closed the window, gazing through it as the last rays of sunlight disappeared behind the darkness of the surrounding forest. He sat back on the chair beside the bed, on which his subordinate was still lying unconscious; her breathing was very shallow and rapid. Her face flushed as though she was inside boiling water, and her skin shone with excessive sweat.
Levi took the small piece of towel from her forehead, soaking it into bowl filled with ice water. He wrung the towel before swiping her bangs aside and carefully placing the moist towel back on her forehead; he had been doing it patiently like some kind of sacred ritual for the last few hours, as Nanaba said it was the best thing he could do to alleviate her fever until they got the medicine. Levi could have guessed what kind of hellish journey she had been through by looking at her cracked and bloodied lips, dark smudges under the sunken eyes, nasty bruises and cuts that covered both arms… Her auburn hair, which used to be long and silky, had been cut messily at shoulder level. Compared to the last time he saw her, she definitely had lost a significant amount of weight; she was so emaciated as if, all the flesh had been drained out of her.
But despite all the sufferings and adversities, she's still alive. Levi rarely impressed with anything or anyone, but the fact that this childish-looking Cadet somehow survived the wilderness in titan-infested territory for the last month made him utterly speechless in wonder. Just how on earth she did that?
After another hour of tending to his subordinate in silence, Levi let out a relieved sigh when Alex finally opened her eyes.
"Just about time for you to wake up," said Levi.
She tilted her head toward him, blinking. "Captain… Levi…?"
"How you feel?"
"Terrible…" she said hoarsely, touching her head. "Where… Where am I?"
"Heubach Castle. We thought you wouldn't make it to Headquarters."
"I'm sorry, sir, for causing so much trouble…" she mumbled.
"Hell yeah, dicing titans in broad daylight, you already made all the Garrison troops shit their pants and gave us concurrent heart attacks."
Alex giggled, her lips quirking in a weird way, which looked more like a painful grin than a smile. She sat up and looked around the room. When her eyes came to a rest on her clothes, she frowned. She was wearing an oversized, long sleeved white shirt and baggy black pants, which made her look even smaller and skinnier than she already was.
"My clothes," said Levi, noticing her confusion. "Since we presumed you were dead, all of your belongings were stored in the dungeon. It's a pain in the ass to search all those dusty crates."
"Yes, it's been a month… Captain, how is your shoulder?" she asked, referring to his left shoulder that had been injured very badly in the last expedition.
"It's fine. If you want to worry, you better worry about yourself. You look like crap." Levi grabbed the tray full of food on the end table, placing it on her lap. "Eat."
Alex took the bread and nibbled it. She chewed slowly and swallowed, but her throat felt so dry that she had to force it down. After a few more bites, she stopped eating, eyes staring at her lap.
"Titans stole your appetite?" asked Levi, arching his eyebrow.
"No, it's just… I'm still alive," she said tonelessly. "I thought I was done for today."
"Yeah, you almost got yourself killed. Now eat. That's an order."
Alex nodded, and without any more words, she gobbled up the food with unrestrained hunger from two days of starvation. Levi threw her a look of deep disgust when she gulped down the soup straight from the bowl, staining the front of her shirt with drops of yellow broth. She finished her meal in less than five minutes and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, putting the tray back on the end table.
"Sir, thank you for saving me," she said. "I could have died if you didn't show up."
"Don't thank me," said Levi dismissively. "I was just doing my job, and simply returning the favor. We're even now."
"Actually, it makes me owe you one. You saved my life twice, Captain, because you're the one who left the supplies in the bushes."
Levi smirked. "You noticed the daisies?"
"How could I not notice them? They're very beautiful," said Alex gleefully. "If it weren't because of the flowers, I might have walked past the bushes without looking."
"You have very bad habit of picking up everything that catches your attention," Levi scolded, but a trace of relief coated his voice. "Never thought your quirk could save your life." He looked at Alex with an appraising stare. "And that's a nice haircut."
"Really, sir? But you just said I look like crap… Oh, wait." Alex ran her fingers through her straggly hair, pouting at Levi. "You're being sarcastic, right?"
"Not entirely. At least you finally did what your superior ordered to you."
Alex chuckled, remembering Levi's criticism about her long hair. "Am I really that mutinous subordinate, sir?"
"The most annoying subordinate I ever had," said Levi with absolute honesty.
Alex tried her very best to tidy her hair up, even when she was done, her hair didn't look any better. The silence continued to fill the room. She shifted on her bed uneasily, feeling very uncomfortable because of the soreness all over her body and the steely stare from Levi, who didn't break his attention away from her since she opened her eyes.
"Umm, Captain…" she said at last, trying to find words to break the awkward silence. "If I may ask, why are you still here?"
"I want to be here," he stated plainly.
"Sir, were you waiting here for me, this whole time, after you saved me? Don't you have something else to do?"
"Someone had to watch over you. Do you remember what happened to you?"
She closed her eyes, trying to recollect her memories. "I was…being tossed away to the sky, then the titan's mouth in front of my eyes, then I saw you, and then…" She rubbed her temple and sighed. "It's quite hazy…"
"Remember anything before you passed out?"
She shook her head and gazed apologetically at him. "I'm sorry, sir, I can't remember…"
"You said you're glad that I'm still alive," Levi reminded. "What did you mean by that?"
Alex widened her eyes and looked panic-stricken. "Oh, that's, umm…" she murmured. "You know, sir, I thought I was gonna die, so…"
"So?" Levi repeated with demanding tone.
She squeezed her blankets and turned her head away from him. When she began to talk again, her voice sounding strained, "I just thought that, I would never make it to the wall, and all my efforts would have been pointless, then I saw you — no, no, I-I-I mean I —"
Before she could finish her sentence, the door opened and some people came in: Hange, followed closely by Erwin and Mike.
"Alex! Thank goodness you're awake!" Hange screamed happily, striding over to the bed. "Here, medicine for your leg." She handed over a little bottle of pills.
"What took you so long to get that?" said Levi, looking at the door as if expecting someone else to come. "Where is he?"
"Our beloved doctor is out of the district," said Hange, pouring a glass of water. "I came to his house, his wife said he'll be back in a few days. When I told her we had emergency patient, she said he usually used that drug to treat infections."
"Thank you so much, Squad Leader Hange," said Alex as she received the water.
"It's really you, I couldn't believe my eyes," said Mike, sniffing. "I thought we lost you at that cliff."
Alex swallowed the pill before looked at Mike. "Did everyone from the decoy squad manage to get back, sir?"
Mike nodded and smiled. "We made it in time to rendezvous with the main squad and got back quickly to the gate."
"That's good to hear," said Alex, smiling back at him. "What about the other squads? Anymore casualties?"
While Hange and Mike were explaining the outcome of the last expedition in the tiniest detail, Levi was staring at the petite girl with suspicion. He still had some questions about her that kept bugging him. But when he saw her almost weeping in joy after Hange told her the retreat plan was a success without any collateral damage, he doubted that she ever meant anything with her statement.
Maybe it was nothing at all, Levi thought. She was only worried about everyone's safety.
"So, yeah, many soldiers are out of commission at this moment," finished Hange, looking a bit gloomy. "Not very great, but at least we made it back."
"And we couldn't have done it without you, Alex," Mike added. "It's all thanks to you."
"But that's all Squad Leader Erwin's idea," said Alex. "I was just following the plan."
"It's Commander Erwin now," said Hange to Alex, grinning. "Commander Keith stepped down after the last expedition, and he was chosen to become his successor."
"It's not official, yet," said Erwin.
"It's only five days before the official ceremony," said Mike. "Won't make much difference."
Erwin dragged another chair and sat down beside Levi. Hange plonked herself on the edge of the bed. Mike stood in the background, leaning against the wall. The way they looked at Alex, with rigid expressions of utmost seriousness and suspicion, undoubtedly gave her the impression as if that she was a criminal who had done unforgivable crimes and was about to receive guilty verdict and death sentence.
"So…umm…" said Alex after nervously glancing to every pair of austere eyes in the room, "what are you all doing here, sir?"
"Alex, we're aware that you just woke up, but we have no time," said Erwin matter-of-factly. "Explain to us, how did you survive?"
"A-a-am I…in t-trouble?" she stammered timidly, twisting her blanket until her knuckles had gone white.
"Don't be afraid, we're not here to punish you," said Levi. "We're just damn curious about how you magically popped out from thin air."
"What's the story, Alex?" Hange urged, eyes goggling at her.
"Umm… It started when I fell down from the cliff," Alex began, rubbing her temple. "I thought… I had to keep the titans busy with me to buy enough time for the others to flee. And…I ended up fighting them all until I used all my blades. Then I tried to run away from them, going back to the forest to hide somewhere. I found a very tall tree and hid myself on the highest branch. The titans were still looking around for me, so I waited until they went away. But while I was waiting, I…" She paused for a brief second. "I fell asleep," she whispered, looking rather embarrassed.
"Fell asleep?" Levi exclaimed in disbelief. "You were in a mission and you fell asleep?"
"Yes, inadvertently," Alex replied quickly, the pink flush on her cheeks now spreading to her neck. "I hadn't been slept for a day, I was very tired. When I woke up, it was almost sunset. And by the time I arrived at the designated point outside the forest, it was already dark and deserted, which made sense because I was twelve hours too late… To be honest, at that moment I didn't think I would survive… Until I found supplies in a crate near the bushes."
"What supplies?" said Erwin sharply, narrowing his eyes.
"Supplies for everything, blades and gas canisters, even some food and water in knapsack," said Alex. "It gave me enough resources to survive for two weeks."
Erwin immediately rolled his eyes to Levi, who was looking away.
"But I doubted that anyone left it on purpose," Alex added quickly, noticing the suspicious look still lingered on Erwin's eyes at Levi. "Maybe someone accidentally left it in the rush."
"So, you fortunately found a crate filled with supplies," said Erwin, finally looking back to Alex. "Then what happened after that?"
Alex bit her lips, looking somewhat very guilty, then faced Levi. "I'm so sorry, sir, I knew you ordered me to get back as quickly as possible, I remembered, but, but when I passed the forest, I saw them, so many of them, just lying down there and sleeping peacefully, I'm terribly sorry I just couldn't resist the temptation," she stopped for a moment, staring at Levi's confused face. "It was felt like my body moved on its own – so I, I, I just —"
"What are you talking about?" Levi cut in, his eyebrows squishing together.
Alex remained speechless, still staring at Levi with a look of solemn apology and evident guilt. Levi opened his mouth, at the same moment he eventually grasped the meaning behind the looks in her eyes, and then closed it, his eyes widening furiously. After recalling about the conversation they had about titans in the forest, the sudden realization made him understand why she kept apologizing.
"Brat, don't tell me," Levi hissed, slowly leaning toward Alex, "you decided to go back inside the forest, so you could observe the titans?"
"Yes, sir. I did," she whispered with cracking voice, all the colors on her face ebbing away.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!" Levi shouted at her face and got on his feet at once. "For fuck's sake, Alex, are you a blithering idiot?! Do you want to kill yourself?!"
"I'm sorry, sir! I'm so sorry!" Alex squeaked, cringing. She hid her face behind the pillow, clutching it in a defensive posture as though it's a shield that could protect her from the wrath of Humanity's Strongest Soldier. "I'm very sorry, Captain Levi! Please don't hurt me!"
"Levi, that's enough," warned Erwin.
Levi sat back on his chair with a loud thud noise. "Why did you do that?!"
"B-b-because I think they're an a-anomaly…"she said weakly, peeking at Levi from behind the pillow. "They're so strange… I was curious and… Curiosity bugged me…"
"What kind of nonsense is that?!" Levi snapped, making her flinched again.
"Alex," Hange whispered dramatically. "You observed the titans in the forest? You really did that?"
Alex turned her head to Hange. "Yes, ma'am, I did."
Hange seized both of her hands, staring at her in absolute praise as if she saw a messiah who descended from heaven to cleanse the Black Death. "Alexandra, you're the Goddess of Science!" she shrieked. There were maniacal sparkles in her eyes, indicating she had turned on her titan-obsessed mode. "Do they eat anything? Do they drink? They have a way to communicate with others? Do they always show hostile temperament when humans are not around? How do they reproduce? They all sleep at night, including the deviants, right? Oh Alex! You have to describe every little detail of them to me right now! I really, really, want to know!"
Alex was completely nonplussed at Hange's rapid fire questions, blinking repeatedly before answering, "Umm… No. No. Yes. No. I'm not sure. Yes, but they usually sleep later than the others. They tend to live in groups like other wild animals, and do have interactions with one another."
"Interaction?! Like what?! They have their own language?!"
"No. Mostly by growling or howling, like animals. A deviant I fought today roared then more titans immediately came from the forest. It could be counted as communication, right?"
"How's the roar sound like?!" Hange inquired, her sparkling eyes widening so that she looked madder than ever. "Could you imitate it for me?!"
"I told you to not poison her brain with your shitty obsession," said Levi with so much vexation in his voice.
"It's not my fault she's interested in titans! Those creatures are marvelous!" said Hange vibrantly as though this settled the matter. "You can't hold back a craving desire of knowledge!"
"Knowledge?!" Levi barked, sitting bolt upright in his chair. "It's a complete madness! What kind of sane person camps in forest full of titans?!" He shot a fierce glare to Alex, who gave a soft yelp and cowered toward Hange.
"Gathering knowledge is a very dangerous art, Levi," said Hange in a dignified voice. "It takes hard work, determination and guts to risk your life, and it's not madness, it's an unswerving dedication to science!"
Levi gave a snort of derision. "I know your greatest dream is to die inside titan's stomach, but don't endanger the lives of others!"
"Calm down. Both of you," said Erwin, raising his voice. "Hange, enough with —"
"This is the best night in history of science!" Hange squealed, completely ignoring Erwin. "Alex! Tell me more about the roar and how —"
"Shut the hell up, four-eyes!" Levi growled, rising from his chair again. "Your crazy experiment isn't important here!"
"Crazy experiment?!" Hange glared at Levi, looking highly insulted. "What is more important than revealing the mysteries of —"
"SILENCE!"
Erwin let out his most intimidating baritone voice, which successfully put an end to the unnecessary bickering. Although, the belligerent atmosphere still remained present. Hange looked even more livid than when she was at the meeting this noon. Levi was beside himself. Both seemed very ireful with each other.
"I understand your research is very important to humanity, but we have more important things to discuss," said Erwin strictly, his calm face mildly contorted in irritation. "Levi, sit down."
Another truculent glare clashed between them before Levi flumped on his chair and Hange stared at the floor, cracking her knuckles. The silence spiraled horribly, until a loud bang from the door snapped the gelid quietness. Nanaba stormed into the room, crossing her arms.
"If you guys can't stop yelling and quarreling in front of a sick person, just get out of here," she reproached indignantly then stared at Erwin with disappointment. "You promised me this would be quick and quiet."
"My apologies, Nanaba," said Erwin. "Hange won't stop interrupting."
"Come on, Erwin!" Hange protested, throwing her hands up in the air. "Don't you realize she has vital information which none of our expeditions had ever managed to gather in the last ten years?!"
"I know, but we're not here to discuss your experiment," Erwin chastised, sounding like he was starting to lose his patience.
"I have an idea, ma'am," said Alex, whose face had gone ashen because of all the shouting. "I'll write down my observations in official reports and give them to you. You can use them as reference theories for your experiments, to prove the validity of your hypothesis."
Hange's sulky face brightened at once. "You will? You will do that for me?" she asked throatily.
Alex inclined her head. "Of course. I would be glad to share my knowledge with others."
"ALEX!" Hange screamed, pulling her into a strangling hug in such a brutal fashion. "YOU'RE A LITTLE ANGEL!"
"Squad — Leader — can't — breath —!" Alex choked.
"Hange!" Nanaba exclaimed, looking horrified, quickly snatching Hange's arms. "Stop! You're gonna kill her!"
Alex gasped for air once Hange released her, coughing and massaging her chest.
"Now, let's focus on your story," said Erwin composedly as though there had been no interruption. "You got the supplies, and you stayed in the forest, for how long?"
"About five days," said Alex, still massaging her chest. "I couldn't stay too long because I got a little carried away, wasting too much gas and food… Then I remembered Squad Leader Hange told me that titans don't digest humans. I tracked down the path of expedition and found this, big round sticky ball made from…" she gulped and looked revolted, "the corpses of our fallen comrades. I took all their blades and gas canisters."
"See? The knowledge came in handy!" said Hange in a victorious sort of voice, which made Levi scowled at her. "Are you walking all the way from there to Wall Maria? Seriously?" she asked to Alex.
"Believe it or not, it's true," Alex muttered. "Where's my knapsack?"
"I keep it in here," said Nanaba, opening the bottommost drawer of end table.
Alex pulled out a badly tattered satchel from the knapsack. Fumbling nervously in her satchel, she extricated a crumpled map and smoothed it out. There were many tangled lines and rounds and crosses all over the map, and she had scribbled many annotations along the lines and crosses.
"My plan to go back to the Walls was like this," Alex began, showing her map to everyone. "I must travel across the open field during nighttime, because from what I've learned from the map, it's the fastest route to reach the Walls. Then, a few hours before dawn, I must retreat to the nearest forest to sleep and hide myself from titans. As long as I move very stealthily and climb the highest tree to hide, titans won't notice me." She pointed to a long line she had drawn. "I kept heading north, by foot of course. I rarely used 3DM Gear, to save the gas and blades, unless I was caught in urgent situation which required killing titans."
"After ten days, I finally reached Dieburg Fortress. Luckily, I had compass and telescope, so I could survey the surrounding area to determine the safest route to reach the Walls. But there were too many dangerous places…" She tapped her finger on the crosses around the forest near Dieburg Fortress, which had many notations like 'Titan's lair', 'bad idea', 'must be avoided at all cost', and 'biggest nope ever'. "I needed five days to finally get hold of the route, but I ended up making a lot of detours, well, many unexpected events happened, like a horde of titans appearing out of nowhere —"
"Wait a minute Alex," Hange interrupted, "no, I'm not gonna ask about titans," she hastily added when Erwin raised his eyebrow and Levi glared very darkly at her, "what about your food? You said the provisions only lasted for two weeks."
"I ate anything I could find along the way," said Alex. "Mostly wild grasses. Certain varieties of grass are edible even though it tastes more disgusting than the field provisions. And mushrooms, but in summer it's quite hard to find them." Alex ran her forefinger along the bold line that connected Dieburg Fortress to Wall Maria. "The open terrain was the most terrible place of all. I had to keep moving nonstop, and it's very hard to find anything to eat. But my plan worked out quite well," she beamed, looking half-satisfied, half-amazed with herself.
"That was brilliant plan, indeed," Erwin commented, sounding earnestly impressed. "But today, you crossed the field in daytime, why?"
"I had to change my plan because of my leg," she huffed, touching her left thigh. "It was a gnash at first, I tried to make poultice but there were not enough herbs, so it wasn't very effective. The infection started four days ago and got worse everyday. I didn't think I could survive another day with this kind of infection, so I took the risk to go into open terrain in daytime, I mean, I could have died today, either from this wound or titans." Alex refolded the map. "If I made it, I'd live, if I didn't make it, well at least I tried."
The silence that fell after she finished her story seemed to be somehow heavier than before.
"Umm…" Alex mumbled, twiddling her fingers. "That's all…"
"Alex, I have to apologize to you," said Erwin. "It was me who immediately issued order to retreat after the decoy squad arrived, not Commander Keith. I made the decision to abandon you. You have my utmost apologies." He reached out his hand.
"Please, don't feel sorry for me, sir," said Alex, pushing his hand away. "I understand that it was the best course of action. The odds of me coming back alive were very slim. You couldn't put the entire legion in danger because of me. I don't feel bitter about anything you'd done."
Erwin withdrew his hand. "I'm glad you understand," he said sincerely.
"It would have been very absurd to wait for me and endanger the whole troops, wouldn't it?" Alex added. "Your call was right." She turned to Levi. "I'm very sorry for disobeying your order, again…"
Levi stared at her with ominous eyes, his jaw as rigid as rocks, lips slightly parted then pressed together as if he was in the middle of restraining himself from unleashing another rants at her.
"Sir…are you mad at me?" Alex asked warily. "I'm so sorry…"
"You're alive," Levi eventually breathed. "That's all that matters."
"Thank you, Alex, for your cooperation," said Erwin, getting up from the chair. "Sorry for disturbing you."
"When you get better, I'll take you to my favorite restaurant in Trost," said Hange, patting the girl's head. "It will be so much fun! We can have all night —"
"Don't," Levi warned with his deadliest tone, and Hange's only response was sticking out her tongue at him.
"Oh, by the way, Alex," said Erwin, "may I borrow your map?"
"Sure," Alex replied, handing over the crumpled paper, "but what for, sir?"
Erwin received it with a thin satisfied smile. "This may be beneficial for the next expedition."
"If there will be one," said Hange rather sourly.
"Alex, you got some visitors," said Mike, sniffing the air. "Few people."
"Let me guess," said Alex. "My fellow Cadets."
There was a sudden outbreak of rapping on the door, very loud and unexpected. Erwin twisted the knob and opened the door, standing tall in the doorway.
"Commander Erwin, sir!" said few people in unison.
"At ease, Cadets," said Erwin. "What are you doing here, this late? I believe no one issue order for you to leave Headquarter."
"Is Alex here, sir?" said the brown-haired boy loudly, tiptoeing to look over Erwin's shoulder.
"She's here, Kenneth, but it's past visiting hours. Go back to HQ and report your unauthorized actions to your superior."
"Please, Commander!" said the blond girl. "We just want to make sure she's okay!"
"She's okay, Sophie," reassured Erwin. "Nothing to be worried about."
"Please, we really want to see her, Commander," said Sophie with her most entreating voice. "Please, we're very worried about her…"
Erwin faltered for a moment before giving a nod of consent. "But make it quick, okay? She needs to rest." He glanced over his shoulder to Nanaba, who was looking back at Erwin with disapproving stare. "Another five minutes won't hurt."
"Okay, five minutes tops," said Nanaba.
Erwin stepped away from the door to let them in. Sophie was the first to dash into the room, squeezing her way between Levi and Hange and throwing herself to the bed.
"Alex!" Sophie cried, embracing the petite girl tightly. "Alex! You're alive! Sweet Mother Sina, you're really alive!"
"Yes, Sophie, I'm alive," said Alex, stroking her long golden braid repeatedly. "Please stop crying."
Instead of calming herself, Sophie sniveled even louder. Erwin made a gesture for the senior soldiers to leave the room. Once they all had left, Emory, Kenneth and Gerard hurtled toward the bed as though competing in marathon race.
"Alex!" Emory panted, staring at her as if she was a ghost. "You're really made it back!"
"Cutie!" yelled Gerard, skidding to a halt beside Emory. "God freaking damn it! You really have nine lives like cat!"
"Holy fucking shit!" Kenneth shouted. "You're still alive!"
"Very sorry to disappoint you, Kenneth," said Alex cheerfully. "That satchel literally saved my life." She pointed the tattered brown leather on the bedside table. "I know you're regretting yourself for giving it to me."
"Freaking dwarf!" Kenneth boomed, squishing her cheeks to double-check whether she was really breathing or not. "You! Are! Alive!"
"Calm down guys, or Miss Nanaba will yell at us," Alex warned. "Just, keep it down, okay? No need to freak out, can't you see I'm still breathing?"
"Well, that means," said Gerard, grinning at Emory. "We have a winner."
Emory smiled wryly, rummaging his coat pocket and handing over a brown paper bag to Gerard. "You won," he said in a hollow voice.
Sophie gasped, glaring with teary eyes back and forth from Emory to Gerard, as tough she was hoping that she misheard what Emory had said. "You two bet on her life, for a sandwich?! Unbelievable!" she said angrily.
"Not sandwich, Sophie, sandwiches," said Gerard victoriously, pocketing his prize. "He'll buy me lunch for a month."
"Why did I even say yes to that stupid bet?" Emory huffed, shaking his head.
"That's even worse!" Sophie snarled, embracing Alex tighter than before as if she was trying to protect the petite girl from them. "What kind of friend are you?!"
"I had faith in Alex, I knew she somehow would make a miracle, and she did." Gerard pinched her cheek softly. "Oh Alex, I'm way beyond glad!"
"Are you glad because you won the bet or because I'm still in one piece?" said Alex levelly.
"Why not both?" Gerard admitted without shame, grinning even more widely.
"Even when I'm dead, I guess you'll keep betting on me," said Alex, sighing then looking at Emory with incredulity. "And you betted that I was dead? Seriously? I thought when you scolded me because I couldn't repair the valve of 3DM Gear under one minute, you were actually worried about my safety."
"I bet because I was trying to cheer him up," said Emory, throwing an upset look at Gerard. "He was very depressed. He couldn't stop crying over you —"
"I wasn't crying!" Gerard retorted. "There was something in my eyes!"
"— unable to eat anything —"
"I ate just fine!"
"— ignoring people and barely holding conversation —"
"Stop it, you're just being bitter that you lost," said Gerard waspishly.
Kenneth gave a bark of laughter. "Dude, I heard you talking in your sleep almost every night. Calling out her name —"
"Shut your mouth, Kenneth!" snapped Gerard, elbowing in the shoulder.
"Umm… You were crying, for me?" said Alex, giving him a puzzled look. She had known him for three years and never — even in the most grueling drill ever conducted in academy — saw him cry. "Why?"
Sophie slipped soft chuckles between her hiccups while Emory and Kenneth were sniggering at Gerard, whose face had turned beet red.
"Why are you laughing? Is it really funny that he cried?" Alex asked, frowning at Emory and Kenneth, completely clueless.
"Oh, Alex, isn't it obvious?" Sophie cooed, leering at Gerard with an unsettling smile that could mean a thousand words.
"What is it?" Alex was thoroughly perplexed, turning her head to Gerard. "Why were you crying?"
"You got stuck beyond the Walls, all by yourself, of course I was sad," said Gerard resignedly, ruffling her auburn hair. "I mean, look, Sophie is still crying. Don't make it such a big deal if I did. And stop laughing god damn it!" he snarled to Kenneth who was now roaring with laughter.
"Oh… You were all sad because you thought I'm dead?" Alex concluded, glancing around at everyone.
"Actually, we were all very devastated…" said Sophie tremulously, releasing Alex from her arms. "When Captain Levi said you were not — you know — you didn't survive the expedition… Then I had to pack all of your stuffs —" she paused, drawing a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbing her eyes.
"We thought you were dead," Emory continued. "Until we heard the folks talking."
"Who talked about what?" asked Alex.
"Everyone was talking about you!" said Gerard. "We were in Trost District, shopping for cleaning supplies and every Garrison soldiers we met along the way was blabbering about a Survey Corpsman who came back from outside the Walls. Someone from the last expedition, they said. We guessed it was you!"
"Then we abandoned our duty and rushed here as fast as we could," said Kenneth.
"I didn't aware I would be that famous…" Alex mumbled. "But why shopping in Trost? Isn't Shiganshina closer from here?"
"The Survey Corps Headquarter has been renovated," said Emory. "We will permanently move our operation from Castle Heubach in a few days, but Cadets were given an order to station at HQ in advance."
"Only Cadets? Why?"
"Because we must do a hell of a cleaning duty," said Kenneth peevishly. "I can't tell the difference between being a maid and a soldier."
"More importantly, tell us Alex, how did you make it back?!" Sophie demanded enthusiastically.
All of them moved closer to her bed, their faces beaming.
"How's the outside world?!" said Emory.
"Okay, exactly how big are the titans?!" asked Gerard. "You fought them off, didn't you?!"
"Please guys, not now," Alex groaned. "It's a very long story…"
"C'mon Alex!" Kenneth urged. "How could a dwarf like you beating those titans?!"
"Okay, that's it, Cadets," said Nanaba who just sped back into the room. "Your five minutes is over."
"But we haven't heard the fun part!" Gerard protested.
"Sick person needs to get rest," said Nanaba sternly, gesticulating them to leave. "Once she gets back on her prime, you can hold a press conference for her."
With groans of protest, they scurried out reluctantly while waving goodbye to Alex. Alex waved back, faintly hearing Gerard's voice saying, "We'll see you again tomorrow!" before Nanaba shut the door.
"First, Erwin, and now your friends — don't any of them realize you almost died today?" Nanaba said in a dismayed tone, pushing back Alex's bangs and feeling her forehead. "Badgering questions to you in a condition like this, I should have forbid them to meet you until tomorrow. Your fever is still too high."
"I feel much better than before," said Alex. "I'm perfectly okay."
"You better be okay, or I must admit you to hospital," said Nanaba, now taking her pulse and sparing a look of pity at her protruding collarbone. "You need feeding up, having to live off grasses and mushrooms… Oh, God…" She shuddered and looked somewhat nauseous.
Alex chuckled. "Well, I didn't have the luxury of being picky, did I?"
Nanaba spent the next five minutes conducting a full body examination on Alex. Though she still looked upset, her voice softened when she spoke again. "The medicine should kick in by now. Get enough rest, Alex. I'll check on you again in a few hours." Nanaba blew out the candle and quietly left the room.
Alex laid down on her bed; the warmth of the mattress and blanket encased her body with comfort and a sense of security she was longing for, because camping in the titan-infested territory had the same interpretation as a hell of a lot of restless nights and constant vigilance.
"So… I'm still alive…"
There was no emotion in her voice except a dull frazzle and a faint trace of bitter disappointment, as if she was so close to win a jackpot then lost it in the last second. Normal people might have fallen on their knees and praised a deity that they never even worshipped before if they had went through the near death experience of being devoured by titans, so maybe Alex wasn't counted as normal people. Finding herself wrapped in a warm cocoon of blankets, safe inside the Walls, in a big castle with the bravest soldiers humanity ever had, she didn't even consider it as something to be grateful for.
"Here I am again," she heaved as she casted an aimless gaze to the silvery gleam of moonlight from the window. "Back into this cage…"
Trying to look at the brighter side of the situation, she thought she might at least have some peaceful sleep tonight since she didn't have to wake up every hour or jerk every time she heard unidentified noise, and she would get a decent meal for breakfast tomorrow. She stretched then curled in fetal position. An unusual scent stung her nose, a weird combination of lavender fragrance and strong disinfectant odor. She was sure the clothes she's wearing had been washed with too much bleach.
"Captain Levi…"
Thinking about her grumpy superior made her mind travel back to the last few moments when she believed she was going to die. She was wondering whether there were really such things as heaven and hell and considering if she had done enough good deeds to not be burned in eternal fire, until a brutal yank that nearly snapped her neck in half pulled her into a very tight embrace. The next thing she knew, she was laying on the ground, safe and sound, while her superior looked down at her with his usual emotionless face, but the look in his eyes was…weird. It was too soft, too sympathetic for someone who was well known for his abrasive attitude; the way he looked at her was almost compassionate. Alex never thought that those cold and intimidating pair of grey eyes could be so gentle and heart-warming.
"Humanity's Strongest Soldier… What an interesting person…" Alex mumbled, smiling and sniffing her sleeve. "I was not wrong about him."
The brightest side of her situation: her superior was still alive, and that thought alone managed to lift her spirits, her toilsome struggles weren't in vain at the very least. She pulled the blanket over her head and closed her eyes.
"There's always tomorrow," she huffed into the pillow. "There's always next expedition."
Before she could finish planning on what she would do in the outside world on the next expedition, her exhaustion had carried her off to sleep.
~SnK~SnK~SnK~SnK~
"Do you guys believe all the things she said?" asked Nanaba.
She, Mike, Hange and Levi were grouped around the fireplace in Erwin's office, all staring at the flickering fire. When no one answered her question, Nanaba glanced at Erwin, who sat behind his desk and looking like he was lost in his thoughts.
"She doesn't strike me as a liar," said Erwin. "But her story is very hard to believe."
"She didn't lie," said Levi, who was leaning against the mantelpiece. "She told me she used to live in the forest, somewhere in Wall Maria, she probably got her surviving skill from those years."
"In the forest?" said Hange, looking at Levi with confusion. "Like, in the middle of wilderness? Her parents abandoned her or what?"
Levi shook his head. "I don't know, but she said she doesn't have family."
There came soft knocks on the door. "Excuse me, Commander," said Moblit who just opened it. He and Nifa entered the room and saluted, both looking very exhausted. "We're here to submit the reports."
Erwin gave a nod then everyone gathered around his desk.
"We questioned all the Garrison soldiers from Shiganshina district about this incident," said Nifa, opening her file. "All the testimonies don't contradict with each other. Here's the outline: at 12.34 this noon, the Garrison soldiers, who were having maintenance duty at Wall Maria, spotted titans emerging from the west forest and moving straight to the open field."
"Turned out, they were after someone who was walking outside the wall," said Moblit. "She fought them all, and before she killed the last titan she…" Moblit took a long pause, exchanging a confused look with Nifa.
"She what?" said Erwin.
"She perched on the titan's face," Moblit continued with the same bewildered expression as if he couldn't believe what he was reading. "The witnesses stated that it looked like she was trying to…initiate some kind of communication with the titan."
"That's freaking amazing!" Hange squealed.
"That's fucking stupid," said Levi. "What happened after that?"
Moblit turned to the next page. "The titan cried, and then she killed it. Shortly after that, five more titans came out from the forest and attacked her."
"You hear that, shitty glasses?" said Levi mockingly. "That's fucking stupid."
"What happened before she killed the titan?!" Hange asked to Moblit, acting as though Levi hadn't said anything. "She tried to communicate, maybe the titan said something —"
Erwin cleared his throat, shooting a warning look at Hange; the spectacled woman instantly stopped talking and replied his cold stare with a mildly annoyed expression.
"Sorry, Erwin," she muttered. "Old habit."
"What happened next?" said Erwin to Nifa.
"She was overwhelmed with the sudden aggression, though she managed to kill three more titans," said Nifa. "And then Survey Corps came into the scene and saved her. All the details are in these reports, Commander." She put the file on the desk.
"Thank you for your hard work," said Erwin. "You're dismissed."
Moblit and Nifa saluted and excused themselves. Erwin opened the file, unable to compose any sentences, apparently torn between admiration and deep incredulity.
"So," Levi began, "the best cadet in history of military is not a joke at all."
"She was stranded for a month and somehow she managed to survive," said Mike. "Tracking back her way to the Walls, alone, I daresay her scouting skill is on the same level as an experienced soldier."
"She got an infection for days," said Nanaba. "It's not something you could bear with sheer willpower. Even in a pretty bad shape she fought titans and almost killed all of them. Her endurance is pretty impressive"
"Don't forget about her wit," Hange added. "It takes more than just animal instinct to survive with limited amount of resources. She's very knowledgeable with wild plants, I suppose, good enough to differentiate the poisonous and edible ones, and she could gather herbs for remedy."
"We got a one in a million soldier in our hands," said Erwin with a rare tone of amusement, flipping the report papers with too much enthusiasm. "I really need to read her files from boot camp."
"I know that look." Hange pointed her forefinger at his face, brown eyes squinting in suspicion. "You're planning something, right?"
Erwin didn't bother to conceal his smirk. "You bet I am."
"What are you going to do now, Erwin?" said Nanaba hopelessly. "Survey Corps is still in destitution and we only get one injured soldier to reinforce our troops. Are you still insisting to proceed with expedition?"
"Of course," said Erwin. "Hope that in a few days we can gain all the funds we need to commence expedition."
"Are you performing miracles now?" asked Mike. "In case the accounting department forgot to tell you, our budget barely enough to keep this legion operational."
"I have my ways," said Erwin lightly, looking at his comrades one by one as if he was trying to reassure them to not worry about it. "Just leave it to me. My plan will work out. I'm very sure of it."
"Damn right you are," said Hange, crossing her fingers.
Mike patted Erwin on the shoulder then left the room along with Nanaba and Hange. Levi didn't move from where he stood, instead, he moved closer to Erwin's desk and sat opposite of him, staring with an obvious distracted look.
"What a hell of a rough day," said Levi. "Being Commander is not always about acting all high and mighty, huh?"
"Leadership is not about making friends, it's about getting things done," Erwin replied, flipping a few pages of the file and starting to read. "Some people may not like my order, but they have to deal with it."
"You're saying you want Hange as your enemy?" Levi scoffed. "She might have shoved her blades down your throat today, if Alex didn't show up and divert her attention to her beloved titans."
"She's always on her berserk mode whenever she's angry or frustrated, I got used to it, but I'm not talking about her." He rolled his eyes to meet Levi's. "Are you still resenting me?"
The answer didn't come even after Erwin finished reading the whole report a full twenty minutes.
Erwin closed the file and leaned back to his chair. "I even apologized to her. She forgave me, so why won't you?" he said, his eyebrows drawing together. "What is your problem?"
"I don't resent you," said Levi, clenching his hand, lowering his gaze to the table. "You ordered me to keep an eye on her, and I failed. It's just… I think your decision to entrust her to me was wrong."
"I ordered you to work together with her," Erwin clarified. "You've done it very well by coming back alive after temporary MIA during the last expedition. I never blamed you for her 'death'. Why are you making this matter personal? Even going so far as to steal from logistics division?"
Levi's gaze was back to the icy blue eyes. "You knew?"
"I'm the Commander, I must read every report from every division, of course I knew. A crate full of supplies was gone, someone must have taken it. So, why?"
"I'm allergic to death, especially if it's me causing someone else's demise."
Erwin smiled, in a consoled way. "You are a kind man."
"What kind of rubbish are you blurting about?" asked Levi, utterly surprised.
"She's an amateur, exceptionally great fighter, inexperienced, very young…" said Erwin with traces of concern in his tone. "She reminds you of them, perhaps?"
Levi shrugged. "Maybe. Or maybe I'm just trying to not screw this up."
"You're not upset because you failed my order. You are more frustrated because you think she almost died because of you," Erwin concluded, resting both hands on the desk. "Am I right?"
Levi always wondered whether Erwin had psychic powers to read his mind because no matter how hard he tried to keep his face calm and expressionless, Erwin always ended up knowing what was running inside his head.
"Are you trying to make amends for their deaths?"
"I'm trying to not repeat history," Levi retorted. "If there's a way to save someone's life even with the smallest odds, it will be damn worth it to try."
"You are really a kind man." Erwin curled his lips into a smile again.
"Stop spitting nonsense."
"By the way, she's still in your squad," said Erwin, handing over the file, his commanding tone already returning to his voice. "Fill and sign these reports. I expect you to finish them before my inauguration, so I have enough time to explain about her special circumstances to Supreme Commander Zackley, hopefully she's not required to attend a hearing. And you have to supervise her training until she's fully recovered."
"After all the mess I'd done in the last expedition, you're still ordering me to lead a squad?" said Levi, disillusionment was etched in his eyes.
"Of course."
The crease on Levi's forehead went slightly deeper.
"You don't like it?" asked Erwin.
Levi sighed heavily. "I don't know what you see in me, or what you expect from me. I'm nothing like you, Erwin. I'm not cut out to lead people."
"Didn't you decide to follow me because I have vision on something you can't even see?" Erwin reminded, still holding the file in front of his scowling face. "Do you trust me?"
After long moment of consideration, Levi snatched the file with unnecessary force. "I'll trust your judgment on this one," he said in a resigned voice, springing to his feet and hastening to the door.
"I'll assign new soldiers for your squad, too," said Erwin just before Levi walked out of the room.
Levi turned around, looking impassively at Erwin. For a split seconds, it looked like he was about to reject that idea, but he finally moved his head in one stiff nod.
"Do whatever you want," said Levi wearily before slamming the door shut.
A/N: Ah, very sorry for the super late update. Final year of med school is nastily exhausting. The good news is, I'm on holiday right now and have so much free time to write! :D Thank you for reading, following, and adding my story to your favorite lists! Constructive criticisms are always appreciated.
Chapter 6 revamped on August 15th 2015. Special thanks for my beta-readers kittylover195678 and EndlessXstarrynights.
tannerpies: Thank you! Enjoy this chapter!
KasukeHagase: Thank you so much! Yes, she's the main OC with more mysteries and secrets than FBI agent. I hope this chapter answer your curiosity :D
lilnightmare17: Here ya go! Enjoy!
KnightWriterRLK: Wow, thank you! I'm so flattered, though I don't think I deserve a praise on the fighting scene. It's not even close to my imagination, I think I poorly executed it because of my writing skill is too mediocre.
Keysha30: Actually, I've finished with plotting this story with all the arcs and characters development since last year, so it's kinda surprised me that what happened in ACWNR 2 confirmed my theory. If you're interested, send me a PM and I'll talk about my 20k words meta analysis on Levi's personality ;)
Guest: Thanks a lot! I don't tell all her background story at once because it's plot-related. I'm not gonna abandon this story, you have my words ;) Thank you again for the long review!