Before you read this really weird last chapter, I just want to thank everyone for reviewing, favoriting and following this story! You are all awesome peoples!

(Special mentions goes to Pip the Dark Lord of All, who as you all know inspired this insanity; and Sixty-four K, who reminded me that my birthday was today and…yeah, you can read about that at the bottom…)

Here's another chapter…dedicated to everyone!

"Freeze!" came a voice right next to Glorfindel's ear. He smiled happily and turned, and whoever it was shrieked. "FRRREEEEZZEEE!"

"But it's not winter," Glorfindel said. He saw an elf with silver-blond hair, pointing an arrow at him and glaring angrily.

"What a frowny face," Glorfindel remarked, and hugged him. The elf stood motionless for a moment, then shoved him back.

"Okay, enough huggy huggy stuff. Put your hands in the air!"

"But I can't hug without my hands," Glorfindel explained. "If they're in the air, all I can hug are really tall people and birds. Also maybe the air, but I'm not sure if the air would want hugged."

Whoo-ooo, the wind whistled unhappily.

Glorfindel's jaw fell open. "Oh, my apologies then!" He hugged the air.

The elf stared at him for a long moment, then put up the bow and arrow. He pulled a pair of handcuffs out of his pocket and fastened them to Glorfindel's hands.

"But why did you do that?" Glorfindel said sadly.

"March," said the elf, poking him in the back and making him move along a random trail. "By the way, you have the right to remain silent."

"Does that mean I can still talk?" Glorfindel asked politely.

"Yes…no…I think. You can talk. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of Elves."

"Oh good." Glorfindel sighed dramatically and wiped his forehead. "Have you ever visited a court of Men? They run when you try to hug them! It's very frustrating!"

"That's going to be used against you," said the elf.

"So what's your name?"

The elf pulled a recorder out of his pocket and muttered into it. "Talking about courts of Men – possibly a spy. Trying to get my name, although I will never break."

"Oh, never mind," said Glorfindel. "I know your name! You're Haldir!"

"WHAT?" said Haldir. "How did you know that?"

"Uh…you're wearing a nametag." Glorfindel pointed to it.

"What the - ?" Haldir ripped it off and threw it into the bushes.

"Too late, I already know what your name is," Glorfindel said. "Hey, where are you taking me?"

"Also trying to find out that I'm taking him to Caras Galadhon," Haldir whispered to the recorder.

"I heard that," Glorfindel said.

"Argh!" Haldir scowled at him, still poking him in the back to move him along. "Well, pretend you didn't."

"I can't lie," Glorfindel said. "If someone asks me, I have to tell them the truth."

"Why would they ask you?"

"Because they're smart? Hey, why did you handcuff me anyway? Now I can't hug anyone." Glorfindel looked very sad.

Haldir looked at the huge tear-filled blue eyes – and he rolled his own eyes. "Nope, I've got two conniving little brothers, that won't work on me."

"Can you un-handcuff me?" Glorfindel asked hopefully.

"No."

"Is that recorder still on?"

"Yes."

"So that means it's still recording everything?"

"YES."

"Oh." Glorfindel fell silent for about two seconds. "Who are you going to give it to? Your boss?"

"Yes."

"So s/he is going to hear everything we're saying?"

"Yes!"

"Oh hooray! Wait, then why were you whispering?"

"Because you might have heard me."

Glorfindel would have clapped, but he couldn't because his hands were cuffed, so he settled for making a clapping noise with his mouth. He had finally gotten Haldir to say something other than yes or no. "But I could hear you if you were whispering, because I'm an elf and I have awesome whisper-listening skills."

"But you're also trespassing."

"I didn't mean to, Námo just dumped me here."

Haldir snorted. "Sure, with a swirly whirly teleporting black and purple flat thing, right?"

"Right," Glorfindel agreed.

Haldir stared at him, then blinked. "Well, I don't believe you."

"But I told you I don't lie! Why won't you believe me on that?"

"You might be lying about that too," Haldir said stubbornly.

"You are a serious pessimist," Glorfindel commented. "But don't worry, I can fix it! I think you need the 20-Hug Cure ™ very soon. If you would just take these off, I could help you with that."

"No." Haldir pulled out a bandana and tied it around Glorfindel's head, covering his eyes.

"I can't see," Glorfindel said.

"Yes," said Haldir. "That's the point. It's so you can't see where we're going."

"But you already told me where we were going," Glorfindel said.

"No I didn't. Remember?" Haldir winked conspiratorially, but Glorfindel didn't see it of course.

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did."

"Oh, it's hopeless."

"WAIT!" Glorfindel suddenly exclaimed, stopping. Haldir poked him and made him start walking again.

"Wait, you're the Haldir, the one from the movies?!" Glorfindel made a happy clapping noise with his mouth again, since he couldn't do it with his hands.

Haldir's eye twitched. "Yes, I am."

Glorfindel frowned. "Well, that doesn't make sense. I thought you were supposed to be dead!"

Haldir stuck his foot out and Glorfindel tripped over it. "Oops," he said when Glorfindel fell face-first into a mud puddle.

Glorfindel stood up and started walking again.

"Anyways, I did not die," Haldir said. "Obviously."

Glorfindel wasn't listening, as usual. "Hmm…then again, you could have been reborn/re-embodied, like me." He tried to tap his chin thoughtfully, but couldn't because he was handcuffed. "But I thought that only happened if you were killed by a Balrog." He gasped suddenly. "Were you killed by a Balrog?!"

"NO!" Haldir shrieked. "I'm not dead, and I never died!"

"But that doesn't make any sense," Glorfindel said. "It quite clearly showed you dead in the movie and – oof!"

When he woke up, he wasn't wearing the bandana around his eyes or the handcuffs anymore. He was sitting in a lawn chair in front of a big tree. Someone with silver hair was standing in front of him, sipping something that looked like red wine.

"Hello," Glorfindel said. He jumped up and started to hug the person, but the elf shoved the glass of 'wine' in his hand.

"Drink this first," said the random elf.

Glorfindel drank it and his jaw fell open. "Wow, this is good! What is it?"

"Kool-aid, of course." The elf straightened his robes. "I am Celeborn. It is a pleasure to meet you, Glorfindel the Sadness-slayer."

Glorfindel tossed the cup over his shoulder and hugged him. "Yes, delighted to meet you too!" he exclaimed, his voice muffled. Then he pulled back and smiled brightly. "So where am I?"

"You are in Caras Galadhon," said Celeborn imperiously, "at the heart of Lothlórien, where –"

"LOTHLÓRIEN!" Glorfindel screamed happily. He danced for a minute, then stopped. "Anyway, you were saying?"

Celeborn was staring into space. He giggled stupidly, then dashed away.

Glorfindel sat back down and grabbed another cup of Kool-aid, sipping on it. A minute later, a golden/blonde-haired tall lady walked into view, a hand-held mirror in her hand.

"So that's the mysterious mirror of Galadriel," Glorfindel said in awe.

"No it's not, it's what I use to put my make-up on," Galadriel said. She finished dabbing her cheeks with some weird white powder, then put it in her pocket.

"Wait, so then the mirror doesn't actually exist?" Glorfindel frowned in bewilderment.

"Of course it does."

Glorfindel finished the drink and threw the glass somewhere. He jumped up and hugged her – which was awkward, since she was almost as tall as he, then plopped back down on his seat. He sighed. "This doesn't make any sense – I'm so confused."

"About your hugging condition?" Galadriel said with an understanding look. She secretly felt like whirling around and dancing after the hug, but somehow restrained herself.

"No, the mirror." Glorfindel found that his hands were still free, so he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I just watched the movie a little while ago, and it obviously showed that you poured water into the basin, and then looked into it. How is that a mirror?"

"Well, before glass and reflective silver was put together, we had to use water to look at our reflections," Galadriel said wisely.

"But that still doesn't make sense," Glorfindel mused. "If you have real glass mirrors now, why do you continue to use water?"

"Just accept it as one of the mysteries of life," Galadriel recommended in a mysterious voice, secretly wondering herself why she did it that way.

Glorfindel suddenly gasped in horror.

"What is it?!" Galadriel said worriedly.

"I've been serious for too long! I think I'm…going to…" Glorfindel gasped and choked.

"WAIT," Galadriel suddenly boomed, her face going a weird negative color and her hair becoming black. It looked very impressive. "WHY AREN'T YOU BOWING TO ME?"

"I don't feel like it." Glorfindel stood up and looked around, then dashed away. Once he was out of the clearing, he saw a bunch of elves standing around talking. He quickly ran to them and hugged them. Most of them passed out from the sheer amazingness of the hugs, but there were three left standing.

One of them was Haldir.

"Haldir!" Glorfindel exclaimed happily, and hugged him again.

Haldir sat down and started eating something.

The other two elves sat down and started eating as well, so Glorfindel sat down too. He looked around. "How wonderful to see you all! May I ask your names?"

"I'm Rúmil," said the youngest-looking elf with an evil grin on his face. Glorfindel's hugs did, after all, bring out the best in everyone.

"Mumble mumble," said the other elf, too busy eating to say his name.

"You already know my name, why would you ask?" Haldir stuffed something in his mouth.

"Because I'm inquisitive and amazing," Glorfindel said. He frowned suddenly. It didn't look right on his face – frowns never looked right on his face. "Wait…I can't remember why I came here."

"You might have amnesia," Rúmil suggested maliciously. "After all, big bro here did a number on your head."

"How did you know I did that?!" Haldir exclaimed. He cleared his throat. "I mean…what makes you think I would do something like that?"

"Like what?" Glorfindel asked, wondering why they were being rude and hogging the food.

"He hit you in the back of the head with a loaf of Lady Galadriel's lembas." Rúmil said evilly. "BAM! You were out."

Glorfindel, meanwhile, was hugging Mumble mumble. As he had suspected, the elf gave him some food after a moment, staring absently into the forest with a goofy grin on his face. Glorfindel ate some of the food. "No, I think I would remember that."

Rúmil snickered.

"Wait…" Haldir said after a moment. "You know our names, but I never did get yours. What's your name?"

"Are you going to record it?" Glorfindel asked happily.

"No, I had to destroy my recorder so no evidence would reach Lord Celeborn," Haldir said. "I ate it."

"But I thought Lady Galadriel was in charge here." Glorfindel scratched his head. "And who is Lord Celeborn anyway?"

Haldir and Rúmil sighed. "No," said Haldir. "We just want everyone to think that the Lady runs everything. Actually, Lord Celeborn is the military genius. Lady Galadriel just reads people's minds, stares at her reflection in the water, and looks scary."

"Oh," said Glorfindel. "That doesn't make any sense. Anyway, my name is Glorfindel." He tossed his hair over his shoulder. "The Sadness-slayer."

Haldir and Orophin passed out suddenly. Rúmil just blinked and took a bite out of his food.

Glorfindel looked at the two passed-out elves. "Did the shock of me hugging them finally hit them?"

"No." Rúmil finished his food and started on his brothers'. "Orophin passed out because he's hero-worshipped you for Ages, and I mean that literally, and Haldir passed out because he treated such a famous person so badly. He's nuts about career survival."

"Oh." Glorfindel ate the rest of his food and carefully wiped his hands off. "Why didn't you faint?"

"Because I have to finish eating first," Rúmil said. He chewed and swallowed the last bite, then his eyes became round and he squeaked. His eyes rolled up into his head and he fell backwards.

Glorfindel patted his head, then ran off to do something else. He found Galadriel in a place where there was a basin of water. She was looking in it and preening.

"Oh, hello again," Glorfindel said politely, and quickly hugged her. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have any orcs here, would you?"

"No, of course not," Galadriel sniffed. "They wouldn't dare come into the Golden Woods."

"Wait, that doesn't make sense either. Why is it called the Golden Woods?"

Galadriel stared at him in disbelief. "It's obvious!"

"Oh." Glorfindel shrugged. "Well, I forgot why I wanted to come here in the first place. Could you help me out?"

Galadriel looked dramatically into her mirror again. "You…wish to know why everyone in the world is sad?"

"That was it!" Glorfindel exclaimed happily. "So can you tell me why?"

"Well…" She straightened and smiled unconvincingly. "There are now no more unhappy people in the world. You've hugged them all and now everyone is deliriously happy."

"Oh, I was wondering what that happy bubbly feeling was." Glorfindel smiled. Then he gasped. "What? No one needs hugged? But – but I'll…I can't hug anyone now?" He sat down and looked like he was going to cry.

Galadriel patted him on the shoulder. "There, there, it'll be okay. I can find another job for you – you can brush my hair."

Glorfindel sniffled and stared at the ground, looking very sad.

Suddenly, there was a poof! Someone appeared next to them, wearing a silvery crown and there were tiny hummingbirds flitting around his hair. He had an eagle perched on his arm – and he was very tall, about three times taller than even Glorfindel!

Galadriel scowled and stomped away.

The person looked down at Glorfindel. Glorfindel looked up slowly – then he smiled happily and jumped up. He ran over and hugged him.

"Uh…thank you," said Manwë. "Anyway, I came here to tell you something."

"What?" said Glorfindel.

Manwë leaned down and...snapped his fingers! "Wake up," he said in a very deep booming voice.

Glorfindel stared.

They both waited.

Nothing happened.

Manwë's jaw dropped. "What?! I thought – well, Varda told me that I wasn't dreaming, but I didn't believe her!"

Glorfindel hugged him again.

Manwë shrunk down to normal size and the eagle and hummingbirds flew away. He still looked very Valar-ly though. "Well…I guess, if you or I aren't imagining all of this, then we can find you another job! I have one that's perfect for you – hugging and everything!"

Glorfindel beamed. "What is it?!"

Manwë smiled and opened his mouth. "It's – ooowwwwww!"

There was an arrow sticking out of his rear. Manwë screamed again and vanished.

Haldir, Rúmil, and Orophin ran into the clearing.

"Did you see that?" Haldir said proudly. "I scared him away from you!"

"Right in the backside, too!" Rúmil exclaimed happily.

"Mumble mumble!" said Orophin, his cheeks bulging like an adorable chipmunk's as he chewed.

"Say, who was that anyway?" Haldir asked.

Glorfindel thought about it. "I have no idea; he didn't give me a name."

"Meh." Rúmil shrugged. "Hey, do you want to go tangle people's hair and tie their shoelaces together? It's one of our favorite pastimes!"

Glorfindel looked at the three pairs of pleading eyes, and he was about to say yes, when his phone rang.

He pulled it out of his pocket and answered it. "Hello?"

It was Erestor. "Glorfindel!" the adviser shrieked. "You have to come back now! Elladan and Elrohir have discovered the secret!"

"What secret?" Glorfindel said.

"What secret?" asked the three brothers.

"THE SECRET," Erestor howled.

"Ohh," said Glorfindel. "The Secret! I'll be right there!" He put the phone back in his pocket and smiled. "Well, I've got to go! The twins have discovered the Secret!"

Haldir, Rúmil, and Orophin exchanged horrified glances. "They did?" they squeaked.

Glorfindel nodded. "I'm going to go do something. Maybe lock the closet."

"We're going with you," Haldir declared, and the other two nodded in agreement.

"All right then!" Glorfindel charged out of the clearing. "To Imladris!"

"Wait up!"

"You're going the wrong way!"

"Mumble mumble!"

EVERYONE GUESS WHAT? TODAY IS MY FANFICTION BIRTHDAY! I'M ONE YEAR OLD TODAY! *squees*

But also, oh my word! You have to go check out Sixty-four K's stories…she's awesome! She wrote a few stories for my birthday!

*gives her a hug*

Go check it out and review them, they're amazing! Three ficlets in one – it's called Moments In Time, and it has two with Erestor and Glorfindel (two of my favorites! *dances happily*) and THRANDUIL AND GALION. I can't spoil it anymore, but you need to read and review them! X)

And then the other one, Illogical, is a LotR/Sherlock crossover! And not the usual ones, oh no. This has ERESTOR AND GLORFINDEL IN IT. *dies*

And she's also working on this GREAT Galion story! Really, you need to read them all!

So…I hope everyone had fun reading this insane story! It's finally come to an end, and I'm very proud of myself for actually finishing it. Unlike…ehem, something else. *looks away awkwardly*

Thank you again, you wonderful people, you! Review and tell me if you liked it, and if you think I should write another insane fic with Glorfindel and Imladris troupe in it. X)