She is lying on his metal arm, her brown hair tussled over her pillow, her nose is buried into chest. He enjoys feeling the weight of her body curled around his, watching her long eyelashes flutter.

It is 2am but he doesn't sleep.

He hasn't slept much since he came back from Hydra and met her. Nightmares plague his sleep, so he sleeps when she is not around because he doesn't want to accidentally attack her from a nightmare. It is a very real risk. He knows this because he has attacked Steve on many such occasions and though Steve waves it off, the bruises that Steve sports reminds him - he is still a monster.

There are a lot of things he doesn't remember but lately, he is beginning to remember more. He runs his hand through Skye's hair. Sometimes he remembers running his hands through brown hair, he remembers plaiting it and coiling it but who it belonged to, he cannot remember clearly. He only knows her name, Becca, and then later thanks to Steve's artistic talents, he finally puts a face to the name.

He remembers the boiled cabbage… and the boiled carrots… and the boiled potatoes. He also remembers, at a certain point, having boiled peas, which was beyond terrible. He remembers yelling at Steve to stop boiling everything and then telling him to just keep boiling everything because apparently neither of them could cook well enough to make a passable non-boiled meal - that is not to say that the boiled meal was any more passable, it was at least edible.

Outside the rain patters onto the window. The cars dash across the slick roads, he hears the windscreen wipers swish across their windows. There is the low rumbling of the thunder, the quiet hum of the fan and then he nods off without meaning to.

He is back in The Chair, the men in white lab coats look sternly upon him. It was all a dream. The dream of meeting his soulmate, finding his best friend and getting away from them.

He clenches his teeth onto the mouth guard. He isn't free yet. He was never free to begin with. He roars, ripping from the chair, smashing into one of the men in white coats.

"Bucky! Wake up!" It is a female voice, the voice of the person in his dream - his soulmate. Were they trying to brainwash him again?

"Bucky! Please!" He looks down at the man in white coat that he grips with his fist. The man struggles futilely against his superior strength. "B-Bu-c-"

He wakes and sees in horror that it is not the man in white coat that he's strangling; it is Skye. "Skye! Shit." She isn't breathing. He rolls her over, sticking his fingers down, checking her trachea. "Come on Skye," he starts pumping her chest, blowing air into her lungs and all the time muttering, "please Skye. I'm so sorry-"

She wakes with a start, gasping, arms flailing and grabbing her throat.

She's alive!

Skye coughs, hands reaching out. "B-uck-y?" Her voice is hoarse and raspy. "A-re y-ou ok-aay?"

His jaw twitches at her words. Even after he just nearly killed her, she's worried for him? His dame has no self-preservation instincts. He has to leave to keep her safe, he has to leave because he is a monster, even after leaving Hydra, it still doesn't change the fact that he is a monster.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry- I have to-"

"B-uck-y!"

He slides the window open and disappears into the pouring rain. He hears Skye call for him with her raspy voice but he doesn't answer. Pulling the phone that Steve gave him, he dials one of the two numbers on it.

"Bucky?" Steve answers on the first ring, he always answers within the second ring even if it's 4 in the morning. Does the punk ever sleep? He has been so lost trying to put the pieces back together that he forgets that the punk has issues too. "Bucky?" Steve repeats insistently.

"Skye." He starts, unsure how to tell him. Tell him to take care of Skye? Skye had been strangled by her own soulmate and needs first aid? The rain hammers down onto him and feels like it's driving the heart out of him. Would Steve judge him when he sees what he had done to his own soulmate?

"Bucky?" Steve asks sharply, breaking through his train of thoughts.

"Skye needs a doctor. Quickly." He hangs up and stares at his phone. He needs to vanish, get away from Skye but he can't do it until he knows she is okay. Lying in the shadows, he watches the arrival of Steve along with his teammate, a man with glasses. Steve doesn't pause or hesitate, he just vaults out of the car and hurries into the building with the man with glasses in tow. He breaks into their apartment and then a short time later carries Skye out. There is relief on his face and a frown but he knows that she's in good hands.

She'll be okay now. He tells himself that and then throws the phone away.

He doesn't remember how long he has been on a run. Hydra is still hot on his heels and try as he might, they are never too far behind.

He is cornered again though nothing he didn't anticipate.

Launching forward, his knife slices two of the men's necks. He steals their pistols, shooting two behind him and another to his right. He hoof kicks another, breaking his kneecap. Knife in his right and pistol in his left, he bull-rushes another two, knocking them down and flings the knife through the neck of the one that was about to fire.

Nine down, just another… seventeen to go.

He mentally sighs when his pistol clicks empty, he is about to chuck it another when the ground beneath them starts shaking and swallows them up.

"You're a hard man to find, Bucky Barnes." Skye is at the doorway, hand outstretched just like the first time he met her. A war of emotion collides in her brown eyes as she stares at him, jaw twitching under the weight of what he knows she wants to say.

"Skye." His eyes drinks the sight of her. She looks tired, circles line her dark eyes. Had Steve not been looking after her? Her hip rolls as she makes her way down the stairs, her brown hair loose and dancing in the breeze.

"Don't 'Skye' me." She inclines her head to him, a frown hovering on her brow. He takes a step back. There is an exit behind him, he can still run.

"Don't walk away, Buck. Don't you dare walk away," she hisses at him. She throws a wave of vibrations behind him and the wall where the exit had been crumbles. Now the only exit is the one behind her.

He glances at the other exit. "Skye-"

"What was all that? Disappearing for seven months! Seven months!" She stalks towards and pokes his shoulder hard like she has forgotten or doesn't care the slightest bit that he's the Winter Soldier. "I was worried sick."

"But I'm a monster! I hurt you! I could have killed you!" He shuffles, trying to force her to circle round him so that he could have the exit behind him.

"Don't be stupid." She folds her arms and levels him a look. "You're not a monster. It was all Hydra."

She purses her lips and shakes her head. "Don't run away Bucky. Tell me what's going on. I'm here."

He paces. "I don't get it. Why didn't you knock me out? Why didn't you fight back?" He runs a hand through his hair. "I strangled you Skye. I could have killed you! Christ. You weren't breathing! And it was all because of me." He jabs himself angrily.

"But you didn't!" She tugs her collar down. "Look! I'm alright! It was just bruising. It was just a nightmare."

"But it could happen again. Why aren't you scared of me?" A muscle ticks in his jaw as he grinds his teeth in frustration. Didn't she see that he was a danger to her? Was she alway this hard-headed?

"It's just a nightmare. Bucky, we all have nightmares." He swivels around in surprise. Her body stiff as she shrugs with a mirthless jerk on her lips. "They called me not human, monster too you know-"

"No!" He retorts fiercely, he pulls away from her, cupping her face. "You're not a monster. Just different..." His words get caught in his throat when he realizes he has said what she has been trying to tell him the whole time.

"See. Pot, kettle. Stop calling yourself a monster, because if you're one, then we're monsters together." He sees the doubt that clouds her eyes. Lips trembling, body tense as though she's waiting for him to run again.

"I'm sorry."

Her body relaxes with his words. Pulling him into a hug, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, her voice dropping an octave. "I'll always be here for you, always. Just, please don't leave me again." Her breath is stuttering as she tightens her grip around him, her eyes dark and torn between hope and self-doubt.

"Just… tell me if you want to run again. Because I'm coming along as well."

His body shudders and buries his head into the crook of the neck, finally releasing the despair that he held so long in his heart.

Author's Note:

So it was a long break. Mostly to think about stuff. Yes stuff! If you've not noticed, Steve x Skye has been separated from this story and will span their own story. Bucky x Natasha x Skye and Matt x Skye will be the same too - eventually. This can be found on my profile. Let me know if you liked it or hated it!