Do you guys have any idea how badly I missed writing in first person? Lolz, it's awesome. And I think I'm getting a little better at it, yeah? Anyway~ Hope you like this next chapter!

Dirty Cop

Chapter 1

I put my pen down and scowled down at the white papers that littered my desk. I thought that maybe if I glared long enough, the papers would start to disintegrate, along with my desk, but, then again, that's just wishful thinking.

Oh, how I loathe paperwork.

It's a complete waste of time in my opinion—but that's just it—I don't seem to have a damn opinion in this god-forsaken place as long as Captain Bastardly-prick-with-a-long-frozen-POLE(A mere stick is not even close to what this guy has)-stuck-up-his-ass is in charge.

But what irks me the most is the fact that while I'm stuck here doing boring, useless, paperwork, Aizen and his lackeys are out there causing all kinds of trouble: killing, robbing, torturing, dealing, selling, kidnapping, pimping… YOU NAME IT!

It's been five years, and yet no one's been able to catch this guy, and no body has any idea what his men even look like. The only information we have is that Sousuke Aizen is a retired lawyer (even though he's only about 32 years old) who has never lost a case out of the hundreds he's had—Yeah, he was that good—which is probably why we haven't been able to find a shred of evidence against him… yet.

I also think he has friends in very high places.

We all know he's a felon though.

And apparently he has a little gang of people that he uses on every transgression, but no one, NO ONE, knows what they look like. Just that there's maybe nine or ten of them.

"::Mr. Kurosaki, please report to the captain's office. I repeat. Ichigo Kurosaki, report to the captain's office ASAP::"

I lazily turn my auburn eyes to the speakers that were located right above my head and sighed.

Of all the rooms they could've dumped me in; it just had to be the one with the earsplitting speakers…

Hey don't look at me like that! I don't complain like this all the time, okay? I just have nothing better to do since I've been stuck doing paperwork.

Just as I was about to get up from the seat I was occupying, my office door slammed open.

Oh jeez… From the sound of the chipping wood, it had to be Renji.

"Hey Berry-head! What'd you do this time to get sent to the 'principle's office'?"

Yep. I knew it was him.

And I wasn't surprised to find that even though Renji had used the 'forbidden nickname', he sounded genuinely concerned. He and Rukia are always baby-ing me, like I can't take care of myself or something. When, in reality, I have been the one to save their sorry asses.

On numerous occasions, mind you.

Actually, the whole reason why I'm even doing paperwork in the first place is because of one of those occasions.

FLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACK

The captain had given us this mission where we had to go undercover to some warehouse in order to inspect it for any kind of drug dealings (ya know… standard cop stuff), but next thing I know, Rukia and Renji were being held up at gun point… and I hate to admit it, but I panicked, and I shot at a small tank of gas beside the bastard, making it explode (why it was even there in the first place still confuses me).

Luckily no one was really hurt… except for that guy—he lost an eye.

But I was just glad that nothing happened to Renji or Rukia.

The captain wasn't as understanding and forced me to do this stupid paperwork.

FLASHBACKENDEDFLASHBACKENDED

"I honestly have no idea. I haven't left this damned desk for over a month, so I can't be in trouble." I sounded unsure, even to my own ears, and I looked up at Renji as he made his way towards my desk.

"Well, I dun know, berry. You tend to attract trouble like a magnet. I wouldn't be surprised if the Captain decided that paperwork would be too dangerous for you. Wouldn't want you to get a paper-cut now would we?" He teased, making me bristle.

"HEY! What the hell is that supposed… to mean…?" My voice slowly trailed off as my eyes finally soaked in my friend's apparel.

His long crimson hair was out of its ponytail, making it cascade down his broad shoulders and frame his handsome face, which seemed slightly tanner. He also wore some black, tight, pants and a silk black shirt (which, to my growing horror, wasn't buttoned all the way). I also couldn't help but notice how his tribal-looking tattoos blended nicely against the dark colors that decorated his well-muscled body.

Renji must've seen me eyeing him, because he grinned broadly and began moving his hips suggestively, making me blush like a damned girl.

"What the hell is up with your outfit? Shouldn't you be wearing your police uniform? That's kinda why they were handed out to us the first day after training." I explained exasperatedly, all while ignoring those swaying hips that were being hugged oh-so nicely in leather pants.

"Oh really?" Renji asked with fake naivety as he lightly tugged at his clothes and flicked his head to the side so his hair would flip over his shoulders.

I rolled my eyes at that.

Showoff.

"Well, Rukia said that she was going to be taking us to this new gay bar tonight, y'know, the one that opened just last weekend. And she said that if I didn't dress nice then she would shave my head as bald as Ikkaku's!" He covered his head with his arms protectively, making me laugh slightly. Then he continued, "Rukia is all dressed up too. And we're leaving as soon as we get off. So I just wore everything to work, since I didn't want to drive back to my place; only to drive all the way back here to meet up with you guys. She also said something about us needing to 'get laid'…"

That's when it clicked.

"Wait a second… Why do you keep saying 'we' and 'us'? You don't honestly think I'm going with you two?" I asked in irritation. He only replied with a blank, expectant stare.

I sighed.

"… I don't even have anything suitable to wear. You know that these are the only things I really have." I explained while motioning towards my dark blue jeans and button up white shirt.

Yea, I'm not even allowed to wear my uniform anymore, let alone carry my badge.

But I had somehow persuaded the captain into letting me keep my gun—for protective purposes, y'know.

Go figure, right?

Renji was about to open his big mouth to say something, but he was interrupted as someone else walked through my door.

"We already knew about that, you hobo, so I took the liberty of buying you a nice outfit to wear."

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Rukia Kuchiki, the spawn of Satan and younger sibling of Mr. Prick-with-a-pole-up-his-ass.

You can only imagine what their family outings must be like.

"Yeah, well who said I even wanted to go to a gay bar with you guys?" I snapped, ignoring the all-knowing look they both shared.

They knew I hadn't let loose and had some fun in a while, and I was aching for a good lay—not that I would ever admit it out loud though.

"Fine, do whatever you guys want, I need to leave to see Mr. Emotionless anyway." I grumbled while shoving passed my two so called 'best friends'.

For a second I thought maybe they would follow me, but I sighed in relief when they didn't. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I love them to death, but I can only handle so much of them.

If they were going to drag me to a gay bar, I would need to save up some energy, or I wouldn't last even an hour.

Oh gawd… this is really not going to end well.

Last time I went to a bar with them, I ended up stripping and doing karaoke on stage…

I swear they must've put something in my drink, because there is no way I would do that sober.

…

I'm being serious!

What, you don't believe me do you?

Well good, 'cause I would've totally done that sober.

Haha, and people wonder why Renji and Rukia are always worried about me~.

And now that I think about it, I did get a lot of twenty dollar bills put down my shorts. Maybe being a stripper isn't so bad… Better then doing paper work, that's for damn sure.

I stopped suddenly and looked up at the door which loomed in front of me.

On the window, written in ominous letters, read 'Captain Byakuya Kuchiki'.

Ahw damn…

You can tell how excited I am about this, right?

Right…

I let out a deep, calming breath and straightened myself out a bit. I even smoothed out the wrinkles in my pants and closed up all the buttons on my shirt—which is now almost choking me—before even thinking of reaching for the door knob.

Let's just say that our captain is a little picky about appearances.

"You wanted to see me, sir?" I called out as soon as I closed the door behind me.

Byakuya was sitting at his large desk and his pale arms were folded neatly in front of him. His police uniform fit his muscled body perfectly. The pale skin of his face glowed gently and his long ebony hair was highlighted by the soft light that streamed through the window to our right. His piercing eyes seemed to burn straight through me.

To sum it up—He looked like sex—the pure, unadulterated, untouchably erotic form of sex. (as usual).

What?

He may be a prick, but he's a pretty prick.

"Yes." He started in that deep and emotionless voice that was uniquely his. "Sit."

"Back to one-worded sentences, Byakuya?" I smirked playfully before doing as commanded.

His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Please refrain from speaking to me so casually. I am your boss and I expect you to treat me as such." He retorts back expectantly.

I scratched behind my ear and casually shrug. "Whatever you say mon capitan." I say the last part in an exaggerated French accent, which caused his eyes to narrow even more, making him look almost Chinese.

I did a small victory dance in my head when I also noticed the small curl of his lips—in what I can only guess is a frown. But to get any sort of reaction out of the man was a total victory in my opinion.

The only person better at getting Byakuya all riled up is Renji, but that's because he's known the man since they were very young. So it's only natural that he would know how to push all of his buttons.

"Well, Mr. Kurosaki, if you're going to continue to blatantly disrespect me, then I will just choose someone more mature to go on this very important and dangerous mission." He said and he smirked knowingly when I jumped to my feet in excitement.

"A mission!" I inquire eagerly and I'm practically bouncing on the balls of my feet like some little kid about to be taken to chucky cheeses. "Does that mean I get my badge back!" My grin faltered when he leaned back against his chair, looking like he was about to shoo me out of his office.

There's only one thing left to do…

And as humiliating as it is… it must be done.

I quickly move so that I am kneeling in front of the infuriating man's desk and I rest my arms on top of it so I could clasp my hands together and say, "Please! Let me go on this mission! I'll prove to you that I deserve a spot back on the force! PLEASE! If I have to sign another piece of paper then I'm going to go insane!"

I hate to admit that my voice sounds rather whiny and pathetic, but it looked like it was working because the prick's smirk was back in place.

"Oh…? You want the assignment that badly?" He hummed in amusement as he leaned forward, and I resisted the urge to flinch when he reached his hand out and trailed one of his long, smooth fingers down the length of my nose. I went cross-eyed as I watched the finger and blinked stupidly when he suddenly poked me on the forehead. "Fine." He gave in, and I shouted happily as I jumped back up to my feet. I'm so happy I could fucking kiss the prick right now! "But on two condition."

Dammit…

He just had to be a joykill…

I hesitantly turned back around to glare at the man. "And what would they be?" I grumbled while eyeing him suspiciously.

"One... Try not to blow anything up this time" Oh of course he had to throw that in my face again… "And two… You must take your partner with you. If you don't, then I'll just keep your badge and make you do desk work for the rest of your career." He warned, and the slight glimmer in his dark eyes told me that he would hold true to that threat.

Dammitalltofuckinghell.

"Whatever. Just tell me what the assignment is about." I sighed before slumping back into the seat, scowl back on my face.

"Your partner already knows, so you should go ask him." Byakuya simply said, not at all fazed by my glare-of-death.

Fucking conniving bastard!

He knew I was going to just leave without my jerk-of-a-partner anyway, so, to make sure I actually went with him, Byakuya won't tell me anything.

Just fuck my life.

Fuck it really hard.

"Whatever." I growl under my breath before getting up and stomping my way towards the exit.

Just as I slammed the door closed behind me, I could've sworn I heard him say "Be careful." but I quickly shrugged it off.

There was no way that the prick would be worried about me.

Would he…?

As I pondered over this, deep in thought, I didn't realize I had returned to my office until I felt someone shake my shoulders.

"Wuh?" I blinked up into worried crimson eyes with a confused look.

"Dude, what happened? Were ya in trouble?" Renji asked.

I curiously looked around the room for Rukia as I answered, "Nah… I finally got assigned to some mission, but I have to bring along my damn partner."

Renji snorted in amusement and patted my head reassuringly.

"Then you should get going. This is your one shot to redeem yourself."

I scowled down at my feet when it finally dawned on me that he was right.

If I screwed this up then there's no way Byakuya would ever let me out of his sights again. "Gotcha. Tell Rukia that I'll just meet you guys at the club if I don't make it back before closing time." I mumbled absently as I quickly cleaned off my desk and shoved my gun into the back of my pants. My spine tingled slightly when the cold metal brushed against heated skin.

It's been way too long since I was able to use this baby.

If I get to fire even one bullet today then I will be the happiest fucking guy alive!

"Yea… Well, have fun man!" He chuckled as he shoved me out the door playfully. I grinned back at him and flipped him the bird before walking away.

"I plan to, jackass!" I shouted back with a laugh, getting a few incredulous looks from my colleagues, but I merely ignored them as I made my way outside—they should be used to our loud and obnoxious ways by now anyway.