DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything, not the song, nor anything else!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The next part in the Dib and Tak Adventures! There's some stuff that happened over the course of the couple of months between the time they defeated the Men in Black and Chrysanthemum, and this one. There's no time to write up whole stories about it, so I put up some fun pics about their adventures on my Deviant Art page. Go to my Profile to find a link to my DA page.
Story order (so far): "Lepidoptera and Arachnidia" - "PSYCH-OUT!" - "Chrysanthemum" - "Hurting for a very Hurtful Pain". (Still more to come: a multi-chapter story! Stay tuned!)
You also might think it strange that Dib seems more upset in this story than he was at the end of "Chrysanthemum". That is normal. He's an idiot to think that he'd get off that easy! (Love hits hard, even for caterpillar-kids.) But, don't worry. He soon has other things to worry about~!
Also, the title comes from the theme-song for this story. "Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain" by EZFG using the VY2 and VY1 vocaloid programs. It's in Japanese, so the translation is included at the end of this story. (No, not the original lyrics. And you'll have to look it up yourself on Youtube, because this stupid site won't let me include links!)
Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain
Dib tossed and turned. Yet another night of sleeplessness. He finally bolted upright and tossed his pillow on the floor. 'CURSES!' He shouted as loudly in his head as he could. He wished he could hear something from her, but all was silent. He couldn't get his own head to stop bombarding him with cursed thoughts. All about how lame and what a loser he was. The feelings in his heart made him want to lash out; but if he'd said anything to anyone, he was sure they would laugh about it.
So, instead, he folded his arms and pouted, laying his head back onto the pillow-less bed now. If he just stopped his thoughts of her, he could get to sleep. But when he slept, then he had dreams -dreams of finding her again, dreams of losing her, dreams of keeping her close- it was driving him crazy! He pulled his covers closer to his face and just sighed, trying to push the ever-annoying thoughts out of his head. After all, he'd always known it was pointless. So why wasn't his heart...?
His head was beating him in, now -telling him things that he'd always known, all along...things like, "Age-difference", "She's an alien", and "She can't feel romantic love", but his heart hurt with each thought, and it was hard to keep his head from pounding all the pointless points into his skull, until he felt that they were tattooed onto his face, and everybody with half a brain could see them. He hated anybody knowing, he hated them talking about it, he hated those looks they gave, and he hated being around his relatives...!
But mostly, he hated himself.
He hated everything within sight, because the one thing he loved was so out of reach that he couldn't even begin to grasp it. How much irony was involved in the universe that he lived in, when love could incite hatred as strong and as much as it was... But it wasn't worth it. He knew he couldn't hate anyone else but himself. He knew that he'd been the one to decide, he knew it...
But, why...?
He got out of bed, finished with his brain's bombardment of painful thoughts. He decided to check his messages. On the computer, there were several left from his cousins, Vannin, Chewie, and Pooki, but the ones from the Swollen Eyeball were the most annoying and pressuring. He responded to his cousins' inquiries first, then checked his few favorite websites... He was putting it off, he knew it. He needed to finish up his official report for the Swollen Eyeballs, but...it hurt.
But why did it hurt?!
In every single stupid poem and stuff, they made such big hype about how great and how grand love was, that when a person fell in love, it was possibly the greatest thing that'd ever happened. He was sure they were liars. Moronic and stupid, just what was so great about loving someone who could hurt you just with a look?! For once, he wished he couldn't feel romantic love -perhaps, as the Irkens didn't- for once, he was jealous of her calm, placid acceptance of things.
The memory of that time came flooding back, making his eyes well up with hot tears. Spilling down, he almost forgot what he was typing. Something on a web-comic's message-board. "Gameblasters" or something... Whatever. It wasn't important. He found himself closing out the tabs and putting off for the millionth time the writing of his report. He couldn't take the thoughts.
The pain was only accentuated by his own thoughts -but what hurt even worse than all of that, was that he couldn't sense hers. He couldn't feel her ironic sense of humor, tinkling as she laughed at him. He couldn't feel her sharp reminders, those annoyingly cold and cutting remarks that seemed to know all there was about him before he realized it. He felt as if there was a block, a whole, thick, block making up whatever had been on her side of the psychic-link, and he missed her. Her thoughts and feelings had been so easily absorbed into his own thinking, that it seemed as if he was missing a part of himself. And he was sure that had scared her.
It wasn't as if it scared him, as much as the thought that it wasn't there anymore. He just wished -he now felt the snot building up in his throat, blocking off his train of thought- he needed to stop using that word. Even if he wished, it wasn't as if anything would grant it. It was a painfully painful thought, hurtful, although he felt the pain was now company to what he'd had with her before. In fact, it occurred to him, that if he couldn't feel the pain anymore, he would probably miss it. 'Perhaps,' he thought, as the tears came spilling down, 'The pain is my new companion...'
And felt yet another sharp stab at his heart.
He knew why it was painful. He knew why it hurt! But he also knew that it would be too selfish to act upon it. So...
Did she leave because she knew that it was stronger? Did she leave because of it? The tempting idea of putting all the blame on his own feelings for her wasn't quite wrong, but it wasn't right. She'd said that she was leaving because she had some business. Something about a meeting with the Control Brains. And if she was going to meet with them, then perhaps it was something much more important? Perhaps she was getting in trouble for not finishing her mission? She hadn't killed Zim or Skoodge yet, and-! The thought of her in trouble wasn't helping, it just made his desire to be with her that much more powerful.
He sighed, and decided that a cup of coffee would help. After all, he'd be up all night tonight, and all day tomorrow, and the day and night after that, and-! His head was telling him that it was a horrible cycle; his body was nearing a growth-stage, and it could be impeded if he wasn't properly nourished. But he wished somebody would take into account the heart-break part of it, because that meant that he didn't eat because he was depressed. He also wanted to sleep a lot.
He rubbed his eyes and wiped his tears away as he pounded his head. He really wished his brain would stop doing intelligent things on him. He almost thought that ignorance really was bliss; but ignorant people got caught in the middle rails on subways and electrocuted, or sucked into a jet-engine when they were hang-gliding at 20,000 feet. So, at least he was better off being intelligent.
Boo hoo hoo; he wanted the easy way out of this! ...Things just were never easy!
A full month after she was gone, he'd almost gone about his life as normal. Halfway through the month, he couldn't remember what in the heck he'd been doing, and finally succumbed to his melancholy. The next month he was completely absorbed in not doing anything, which would've have been abnormal if he was an ordinary boy. It was summer-break, after all. But his current state had left him wondering why in the heck he was doing anything normal at all, and almost wishing that he could get back to doing what he had done. Almost.
Anytime he did, he was filled with thoughts and memories, and he'd even ignored the computer A.I. program and his little prototype of a ship he'd started up in his garage. There just wasn't any point, if every time he was reminded of the things that he couldn't stand to think about. There wasn't...any...
Walking downstairs, he'd almost caught himself thinking about those things that he didn't want to think about. He found his Uncle Werewolf Bob in the kitchen, but only stopped to give a greeting. This was the way things always were between them. He wasn't exactly close to him in the first place, even though he was his mother's brother. He now couldn't stand it if he tried to look in on him and see how he was doing. Even though all the therapists and counselors in the world could tell you that talking to someone about your worst problems will make you feel better, he just couldn't.
It was too humiliating to even consider... He almost wouldn't think of it; no, scratch that, he couldn't think of it! Just as he couldn't bring himself to consider why it was that he was drinking coffee now, even though he still found the taste too bitter; or about why he wasn't angry and yelling and shouting at people for being so ignorant of all the things he noticed, but they failed to even take a chance at considering.
Or about his coffee that he'd just poured from the press getting cold...another cup, and he'd go full on toward morning. Then he might, just might, get some sleep as the cold numbness of dawn stilled his mental powers and allowed his brain to shut off. Perhaps then, he'd have an ordinary, completely blameless sleep. Without any dreams...! The sudden sharp stop in his mind brought him out of his senses.
He found the place spinning, just as he'd walked past his Uncle Bob to go back to his room, and wanted to reach out to feel for something, but... He couldn't. He found he couldn't move, and the room was spinning and people and faces were appearing where they weren't, and he couldn't hear what they were saying, and why did one of them have a super-looooooong nose with a mask? and why was his pulse pounding in his head, why oh why did they have such cold fingers, what, who was that? was it Phoorosz or Morphus holding him under his head? he had to check on that '-oh, look-' the room was going black...
He found himself walking along that dimly-lit, mysterious and highly-creepy roadway, yet this time he could clearly remember that Tak had called it a "kokkle-kokk-kleakk" which, if he'd thought about it, sounded strangely hilarious. And he wished he could laugh, but all humor and laughter seemed like it was gone, died away some time ago, with only the vague, faint shadows left of where it had been. His hands and arms felt cold as he held himself, shivering. Just where was she?!
Wait a minute, why did he want to know where she was? He remembered what had happened, he knew it fully, truly it was engraved on his heart, and yet he couldn't quite bring himself to shake off this sneaking suspicion that something horrible was going to happen. Wasn't it? Horrible, horrible suffering, doom and gloom, death and destruction...wasn't that it? 'Oh no, oh no,' he found himself thinking. Where in the heck was she!? In his own mind he was walking, panicking, whilest outside they were panicking as well.
"WHAT?!" Exclaimed Auntie Muernas, as everyone always called her, Grandmaman Muerta's twin sister, "What do you MEAN he was just WALKING, and then ALL OF A SUDDEN HE JUST KEELED OVER!?" Her panic and fright was awfully powerful, but everyone else just shushed her.
"Listen, I don't know why, but it's like he was perfectly fine and normal, and then all of the sudden, NOTHING." Explained Phoorosz, who'd been in hiding, secretly keeping an eye on him. "I mean, I don't even know of anything that could've caused this! It's a complete -well, impossibility!" A mad-looking woman who could've passed as a human version of Speritica grabbed him by his phantomic collar, a physical impossibility, and glared at him. She didn't say a word.
Said woman was Grandmaman Muertas, who, although much shorter than him, still held that air of painfully-murderous intent. Perfectly-maintained intimidation, at its finest. In every respect. But this time, she didn't have the time to be pleased with his cowering in fear at this.
"YOU'RE a complete IMPOSSIBILITY!" She finally shouted after terrifying him, as she shoved him away from her. His momentum carried him to a stop at the floor, and he floated up again, shaking in fear. She bent over her collapsed grandson, but couldn't find anything with which to help his condition. And so they were left to waiting for his father to rush home from his laboratories to examine him.
Approximately about two minutes later, the front door burst open, and said Professor Membrane ran into the house. Without a word, he took Dib from Uncle Werewolf Bob's arms and carried him away downstairs. He didn't even stop to consider why in the heck so many family-members were inside the house at this time of night. All he cared for was examining his son and fixing this problem as soon as possible. He couldn't bear to lose another one...!
The time passed outwardly, but inside, Dib was still wandering around. His nightmares had become huge, wavering masses of horribleness, and he couldn't believe this had been so peacefully quiet the night before when he'd had his nightmares. Surely, they hadn't been as horrible and terrifying as this! And he almost wished that he could return to those heart-rending nightmares he'd been worried about having...!
"Fly away, fly away!" The laughing nightmares taunted as they chased after him. Tripping, he found himself on the ground in a puddle of his own green goo as he realized that half his body was now that of a caterpillar. He gasped in shock and fear, realizing in his freakish agony that that meant that he couldn't run away and that he couldn't move as quickly as he had to. He shrieked as he reached out to grab a rope that appeared to be a vine as it swung viciously out of his reach.
And he couldn't fly away, because he was a caterpillar. Who wasn't able to make a cocoon, for fear he wouldn't be able to wait for that certain someone. But, that person didn't want him-! He shrieked once more as he realized that an acid had been poured on him, and he was melting...!
"*SHRIEK* MELTING! I'M MELTING!" Screamed Dib as he thrashed his arms and legs about, trying to escape from his awful nightmare. But this just didn't add up. No matter what they tried, nobody and nothing could wake him! It was literally a night-terror! But, he'd never had night-terrors before...
"I don't GET IT!" Shouted Professor Membrane as the other family-members tried to hold Dib down to keep him from hurting himself. "He's in a night-terror, but he just COLLAPSED like a NARCOLEPTIC, but he's practically NON-RESPONSIVE on the MENTAL RADAR!" He exclaimed, pointing to the read-out that showed Dib's brain-waves. "But his DELTA-WAVES are practically THROUGH THE ROOF!" He clutched his head with his hands, surely on the point of a mental break-down himself. Thankfully, someone else thought of something to help to calm him down.
"Well, if he still has some sort of brain-pattern, then he's alive; I mean, honestly, he's thrashing about like the HOUNDS OF HELL were chasing after him!" Explained Aunt Muernas, surprisingly not panicking this instant. "So, we've just got to check the machinery, and keep him from thrashing about the place and hurting himself!"
The Professor sighed, almost sounding like he was sobbing, while Aunt Patrina rubbed his back. Then he pulled himself up again and said, "Of course, of course- I- That-" then he rubbed his temple and said, "I'm sorry, I'll be fine in a bit," before walking towards the stairs. "Tell me if there are any changes -I'm getting myself a cup of that coffee from the press."
Although he did have those caffeine and energy-pills, for once, he just craved the personal feeling of a freshly-brewed cup of coffee, which was always on-hand in the french-press when his in-laws came over...or when his son was having one of his late-nights, lately. He felt the homey feeling of a cup was just what was needed to calm his nerves. That, and the caffeine and bitter taste of the french roast wouldn't hurt~!
Although he'd been trying every scientific method to examine his son, the rest of the assembled family had been trying the more...supernatural approach. And this supernatural approach was based on the psychic supernatural abilities... Which Dib had had plenty of experience with recently.
"I can't seem...to..aurgh!" Exclaimed Aunt Patrina.
Everyone exclaimed "WHAT?" and "WHAT'S WRONG?!" before she managed to rub her headache away to tell them.
"It's...it's like he's in some other level! A whole other place! I can't- I can't reach him, and I certainly can't communicate with him, since he has no psychic abilities and that ring only lets him communicate with that one person!" They'd since managed to avoid any mention of a name or even a "her" or a "she", since Dib pouted anytime they mentioned it. He was exactly like his father when it came to bottling up his emotions and not sharing them with anyone. That almost made them think that he was a clone; only he wasn't.
Well, being remarkably similar to his father was pretty normal to begin with, but that genetic manipulation didn't hurt much...! Uncle Werewolf Bob gently voiced this other concern, in a hoarse whisper. "Do you think it has to do with the Genetic Manipulation they did on him?"
"NO!" Exclaimed Aunt Muerna very suddenly. Everyone turned to look at her, when she said, "If it were, Professor Membrane would've mentioned it! ...Besides, everyone can see how weird it is! On even...pppshh, a DIMENSIONAL level!"
"Huh?!" Exclaimed the others.
"Well, yeah!" She continued. "You, Aunt Patri, even said that it seemed like he was on a whole other level!"
"But, that's not what I meant!" Exclaimed Aunt Patrina in an aggravated tone, "I meant that it- psh, how am I even going to- oh, I know! It's like, you know how most people think that there's this underlying 'Collective Unconsciousness' that binds all minds together? Well, that's COMPLETELY UNTRUE! It's more like, each brain is a little pocket of its own space, and sometimes they can connect with each other. HIS is like it's -it's connected in its OWN little pocket, but WE can't get to it, unlike NORMALLY, when we can hear what he's saying but can't connect with it because he has NO psychic abilities whatsoever! It's like, trying to connect to a phone-line when someone doesn't even have A PHONE!"
"But, HOW was he able to communicate with that other person?!" Asked an excitable werewolf "cousin" of Uncle Werewolf Bob.
"Mr. Aho the ghost said that it might have something to do with that ring on his hand," replied yet another unidentifiable phantom on-hand. While they all stopped to consider this, meanwhile, inside his mind, Dib was still battling constant accusing monsters.
'WHEN WILL THIS NIGHTMARE EVER EEEEENNNNDDDDD!?' He exclaimed in his mind, running and running as he felt his ankles bleed as the meat-eating virus worked its way into his flesh. He couldn't stand all this running, and he couldn't do anything against them; they just kept attacking. He wished it all would end...!
The sounds of the computer beeping was almost soothing to the two worried electronic beings. One being was the computer itself as it monitored the condition of the person within the Medical Stasis tube, and one being was the custom-built SIR-Unit which stared almost lifelessly at its master, yet with mechanical concern as the reflection of the medical stasis lights shone in its two red eyes. {It's been a while...} Mentioned the computer, but Mimi either couldn't or wouldn't respond.
It was better that it was silent.
{Just what's causing that?} Asked the computer yet again, for what had come to be the longest consecutive time of asking the same question over and over, probably a record. {It's like she's just... Almost like, I would say "dreaming", if Irkens dreamed... She keeps thrashing about without the sedatives... *Sigh* I wish I knew what was causing this!} Mimi took a quick look at the computer and silently "peeped!", conveying its thoughts electronically. {No, no, I don't think it's that... I mean, that was so long ago, so ...There's just no way! I'm sure it's just a mechanical malfunction...she should be better any time now... She's just got to be.}
Mimi looked around at the computer and silently "peeped!" once again, annoyed. It was hoping to make itself clear, but the computer just regarded it with cool, hardened judgement.
{No, of COURSE not! She wouldn't want us considering that as a possible outcome, either! It's ...*Shudder*...Awful! Just awful! And besides,} the computer responded, and then sighed, {She's going to the Control Brains, so there'll be no problem! That's IT!} Even though the ship's computer wouldn't even begin to consider the negative aspects, it still continued asking that same, awful, inevitable question: {I wonder what's causing that?}
Mimi just silently "peeped!" again and sighed, as if to say, "I was just sayin'!"
{Yes, well, you can just NOT say it!} Retorted the computer as it huffily went back to monitoring its flight. They were going to the closest Control Brain who would review her case, so it wasn't as if they were doing anything strange. Just three months away, this one was considerably closer than when it took Zim six months to get to Earth from Conventia. And they were already two months into the flight, before she'd collapsed. It's not as if they were going to Irk! {It won't take that long to get there...} mumbled the computer reassuringly, mostly to itself. {Going to Irk would take around six months, even with hyper-space...} The computer's constant babbling was only reassuring to one electronic being: mainly, itself.
Mimi silently "peeped!" again as if to say, "Oh, not THIS again...!" but the computer wouldn't be denied.
{Hhhmmm... I wonder how that big-headed Dib is doing...?} Its musings continued as they flew through hyper-space towards their intended destination.
Twenty-four hours had come and went, with still no change in Dib's condition -with the exception that occasionally, he'd drift out of REM sleep to rest. When the little bit of a rest was over, though, his night-terrors started up once again, making everyone tired and restless. Upstairs at the kitchen table, Aunt Muerna set a cup down in front of Professor Membrane, making his head jerk up just a bit. He was ready to jump up at any moment and rush to his son's side.
"Relax," she said as she patted his arm, "It's alright. There's been no change, but I'm sure he'll get through this -after all, that kid has the largest, hardest head I've-" she stopped when she saw him rubbing his eyes underneath the goggles. "I'm sorry, it's gonna' be alright..." she wondered if she was reminding him of those genetic manipulation experiments he'd done pre-utero that they'd been secretly discussing earlier, or if it was just her imagination.
"I'm okay, really -I'm just a little *Yawn!* tired," he replied, taking a look at his coffee and wishing that he believed in any of that supernatural stuff so that he could read what was in some tea-leaves and know that it was going to be alright. But, he didn't, and besides -this wasn't tea, it was coffee!
He almost laughed at that thought, if it wasn't so stupid.
"You know, if you don't get some sleep, you'll be too tired to help him at all," reminded Grandmaman Muertas as she walked up behind him. She was also still awake, but had taken a few naps and was a lot more mentally coherent than the Professor.
"I know, I know...but, I keep thinking, that he's going to wake up, and then I can't stand not being right there by his side when he does!" Replied the Professor thoughtfully. He couldn't believe his Mutated Genetic Mutation to End Dismemberment From All Genetic Mutations had been called off so that he could race home to take care of his son -but at the same time, he was glad he could do it. He'd have done anything to save him, but he also had all those other people who had expectations of him. He'd been awake already for over thirty-four hours when they'd called him, and now, he could barely think without dreaming as he stared down into his milky coffee...wait, he never drank milk in his coffee!
He blinked as he stared up at Aunt Muerna's face and finally realized, for what was the very first time that he'd been there, that...he was too tired to even think straight! "I believe Grandmaman Muertas is right...and I should take a small nap. Wake me when anything changes!" He tried to wave a finger in front of her head, but it just flopped around like an odd arrow. The fish of a hand that he had wasn't even awake enough for him to give a stern look. He really was tired.
He almost stumbled down the stairs to the Laboratory where his son was lying a table, now strapped down to keep him from hurting himself as he thrashed about. He pulled up a second table and laid down on the lightly-padded, thin "mattress", and pulled the tiny pillow under his head. Falling asleep in his laboratory was just about the most comforting thing he could think of, as the constant hum of the Mental Radar lulled him to sleep. He almost woke up once when he thought the relatives had said something about an X-ray, but fell back asleep almost immediately.
He really, really needed the sleep.
Thirty-eight hours. Exactly. And Gaz hadn't had a moment of silence since. Well, it's not that it wasn't quiet at times...still, with every family-member in the country inside their house, it wasn't enough to just hole up inside her room and wait. Even that had been thwarted by her Uncle Binnie, who'd stated that she needed to come out and help "Comfort the family in its time of distress", or something like that. As if he expected her to play hostess! Really, she had much better things to do, like play video-games!
She mumbled and grumbled as she walked down the hallway, now with horrible determination. There was only ONE person who could help, and THAT person was trapped in some sort of awful dimension! ...But, there was still a way.
She opened the door to her parents' room, wandering over to where their mom used to sleep. 'Let's see, let's see...it can't be just any one thing, but perhaps if it's something...no, no...aahhh...now THAT'S more like it! Something she was particularly fond of, but not something entrenched in bad memories from someone else. 'This should do the trick,' she thought as she pulled up one of her mom's compacts. It was something that their dad had gotten her "relatively recently", as in, before she disappeared. It was very beautiful, with purple and pink with gold inlay, and a mother-of-pearl lotus blossom on the front. The golden edge was engraved with something sappy, and she smiled triumphantly as she grabbed it. 'Juuuust perfect!'
Returning to the laboratory was difficult, but at last she found an opportunity when most of the family was upstairs, getting sandwiches that someone -probably one of the Aunts- had made. She slipped in, and with only Uncle Portints sitting at the computer, staring at the read-out and sighing, she snuck the compact into Dib's pajamas and walked out. The rest was up to their mother and the surprising effect of dimensional transference still evident with mental abilities and personal strength of will when it came to such things as meeting those ones they were missing. That having been done, she went upstairs to enjoy a nice bologna sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk to celebrate.
Dib was walking once again within his nightmare, but this time some strong mists started rolling in. Eventually, they permeated everything, and before he knew it, he was walking towards something he knew that he should be seeing as some familiar thing, but...just what was it?...
'What?! What is this? Another nightmare? Or, night-terror?!...' He asked into the foggy mist, but even as the wind blew and the eternal nightmare howled, a second, almost peaceful presence permeated it. The sensation was so ...maternal? that he couldn't help himself; he ran towards it and found himself embraced by chilly arms, yet it was only the fog that was making him chilly. He glanced up and found himself unable to make words come into his thoughts: the person right in front of him was...!
'My little Cate-dibber!' Exclaimed the woman in front of him, embracing him just as if she was his mom. Because she was...wasn't she? A brief moment of panic flooded him as he thought this might all be a new form of nightmare, but the feeling was far from the other feelings he'd been experiencing...this one felt...well, real! And new, but not too unlike when Tak was in his mind... Only this time, it was as if they were both meeting each other in another field; or like their two fields had come together...whatever it was, he really couldn't keep himself from feeling that he liked it.
'M-m-maMAN!' He exclaimed, letting the tears overtake him. Why was he crying like this?! It was just his stinkin' mother whom he hadn't seen in so many years, so now, why was he crying and blubbering like a baby?! His sister would have no end of fun tormenting him if she found out about this! And, wait a minute, why would his sister find out about this? Nevermind, do not ask!
'Aww...my poor baby~!' She said as she grabbed him closely and buried her face in his head. She was smiling, yet she couldn't stop herself from coming to tears over this. She hadn't seen him since he was a little baby, and now look at him! She found she was unable to think anything as she squeezed him as tightly as she could, hoping she could keep him in her arms. 'I wish, I wish he could stay~!'
Dib found this statement a little bit weird, and so he eventually brought his head up to look her in the eyes and ask, 'Wait a minute, why are you here?! You can't be here, this is MY BRAIN!'
She just smiled that scarily-familiar, scary smile and said, 'Why, Cate-dibber, I'm surprised! As your mother, I should have the right to poke you in the head as much as I want!' Dib just had to smile as she said this, finding himself thinking about just how much she looked and acted like his little sister. It was a little scary, actually. But it was that familiar scariness that he found to be most reassuring.
'Oh, Maman! I've just had the most HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE AND NIGHT-TERROR things happening, and I don't know WHY!' He found himself exclaiming, not even bothering to get the full explanation about dimensional thought-and-momma-transference.
She just blinked and mentally prepared herself for the worst, then replied, 'Okay, just calm down...you didn't peak inside Grandmaman's box of nightmares again, right?' Dib just rolled his eyes. All of that was old news, as far as he was concerned! Mentally battling and defeating your fears kind-of helped that.
'No~!' He said with a sigh. 'It's about- I-' all of the sudden, all of what he'd just experienced came flooding back to him, and he found himself crying new tears. The love he had for his mother just wasn't as strong as this, and if there was anyone a young boy would be embarrassed about talking about romantic love to, it would be his mom. But, he hadn't seen her in such a long time, that it almost was as if none of this was real. And so he found himself gushing out with words and explanations until she finally made him shut up and put everything in the right order so that she could understand them.
'Alright, alright,' she said, helping him to dry off his tears as he stopped to gather his thoughts, 'Now, just start at the beginning, and I'll help you, if I can manage it...' she said this last part as if she wasn't sure, and he was partially aware of just how far away it was, that dimension of hers. It almost captivated his curiosity, but he continued on in his speech about all the crazy things that had been happening to him as of late.
'Well, it all started when this new kid, Zim, came to class...' he explained a brief summary of what he'd been doing, all until he got to the part where Tak had tried to take over the world and fill it with snacks, and he faltered. 'And then, uh... There was this other person...' though his words trailed off, he was unable to keep his telling eyes from conveying the meanings most clearly.
'You see, at first, I didn't really KNOW anything about her, and-' the continuing explanation became more and more in-depth when he got to anything involving her. It was pretty obvious, that. He felt like the biggest fool on the planet, but he continued explaining, until his brain felt like it was buzzing. If there was a way for any bees to get in there, then they must've been making his head buzz and his eyes water, and his head sway, because there really just wasn't anything else he could compare it to.
And eventually they came to the more recent events, and he felt himself slow down as he couldn't stand the idea of thinking about them. Though she'd stopped him occasionally to slow him down and ask questions, or just to process the things he was telling her, his mother was painfully quiet when he got to this part, until he finally couldn't bear to go on with it anymore.
'And then what happened to her?...' Asked his mom, eventually pulling him out of his embarrassed reverie. He looked up, shocked, but finally figured out how to explain it without telling too much about his own feelings. But, of course, that was already figured long before he'd gotten to the end of this explanation.
'She had to go back...said something about having to meet with the Control Brains -er, the leaders- of her people...' he trailed off, conveniently not having anything else to say about it.
'The leaders of her people are called "Control Brains"?' Was the only question his mother had for him. Well, it was a completely natural question. After all... 'Wait, I thought they were the "Almighty Tallest", or something? Isn't that what you said?'
'Well, yes, but the Control Brains are literally just these giant brains, Irken brains, that are grown and genetically modified to make judgements and decisions -so the Tallest are really just their figure-heads.' He summed up, pretty well, in his mind, for someone who didn't really know much about them to understand. That, and she was just as intelligent as their father -or even more so- which also helped.
'Uh-huuuuhhh...' she said in a rare sort of hypothesis moment, where she was thinking of something interesting. With her finger on her chin as she stared upwards, Dib had the distinct impression that his father had picked up that habit from her. Or...maybe it was the other way around? Or both! Maybe it was both... In any case, it was another full minute before she responded.
'So...I'm guessing that...you're putting off your metamorphosis until you can see her again?' She summed up for him, causing him to look down in embarrassment -though he didn't really need to. It was a perfectly normal thing for him to consider, if one thought about it. So, there wasn't any reason why he should be embarrassed -after all, she'd known all along that he was a caterpillar! That must've been why she called him "Cate-dibber", his first nick-name... Wasn't it?
'Uh-huh...' he finally mumbled. 'But...I'm-! I'm just, not so sure...and, she did say something...so, I'm wondering, if she really is going to return in time, or is it just me who's being stupid and everything?! I mean, she doesn't even!-' He found himself stopping as he realized that he probably hadn't explained well enough -despite all his profuse explanations- that she didn't have any romantic feelings AT ALL. 'Irkens...are genetically-modified and grown in tubes...they don't even...' He trailed off, but at least his mother was smart enough to get the point. He had mentioned that before, but right now it seemed the most pertinent.
'Oh...of course.' She said, not even bothering to try comforting or cajoling him. 'That's...terrible, why couldn't I be there?!' Was all that was running through her head, and as she stared at his turned back, she realized that it was transmitted over the foggy moll. 'Sorry, I, I mean-!' She tried to say, but he just waved behind him.
'It wasn't meant to be like this! I just-! If only I hadn't gotten trapped in this stupid dimension when you were just a baby, then, then maybe I could've-! I could've just been there for you, even if you were still going to get your heart broken, I mean, come ON! It's a first love! And you're -you're a MOTHMAN, well, Cater-boy, but that's not the point, I mean, it's all the more important for you, since you don't have any other person to tell this to, and you're beginning to age much faster, then you'll be in a cocoon, and I WON'T EVEN GET TO KNOW YOU!' She exclaimed, her hair raising around her in a terrifying wiggle of medusa-like appendage, but the black and blue flames were really nice. They looked impressive amidst the fog and mist. But that wasn't what made Dib almost giggle. It was they way she'd been talking!
'You...you sound just like me!' He exclaimed, starting to grin. 'And I thought I was the only one in the family who babbled!'
She just stopped and stared at him in wonder, then said, 'Yeah, well...I guess I am the one you got it from!' Then she started laughing and said, 'You know, my big brother, Bob, used to always get annoyed at that!' She laughed some more. 'He seriously hates it now, but just call him "Bobbin" and see what he says!'
Dib laughed as well, 'NO WAY! I've been HOPING to find a way to ANNOY THE HECK OUT OF HIM!'
'EXACTLY!' Laughed his mother, aware that for some reason the -direct lineage- uncles and nephews in her family didn't get along with each other. For some reason. 'Well, NOW you can DO IT!'
'Hah hah HAH! I can't WAIT to get out of this dream and go TRY IT!' Exclaimed Dib with pent-up frustration-easing glee. 'HEY! Maybe, if I can take a video of it, I can send it to Tak and say-' oh. He'd forgotten about that little part. 'Nevermind. She doesn't answer any of my hails...' He mumbled as he kicked a rather fictional rock for something to vent his frustration on.
'Right...' said his mother, unused to the sudden glee-depression-drop from her little spawn. Little unholy spawn that he was, he was sure cute when she saw him, with tears in his eyes, wanting to tell her all. She had to fight back the urge to enwrap him in a hug; but she pet his head a little, just as he started walking, pacing with continued babbling. 'Yup...that's my boy...' she thought as she watched him, completely absorbed in his thoughts.
'...I mean, if we could just TALK every once in a while, then, I, uh...!' Dib had been babbling on about how and why she wasn't answering his calls, but this little break caused his mother to cut in on his heart-breaking monologue.
'Now, that's where you've got it all wrong,' she said, holding up a finger. Then she held him by the arms, although he was still turned around, and said, 'Now, what you really need to do, to get over someone, is to-'
Dib flailed his arms up, not really meaning to do anything but express himself, 'But I don't WANT to get OVER HER!' Then he turned around and exclaimed, 'I don't WANT to forget about her! I WANT to talk with her! I WANT to feel her thoughts in my HEAD! I- I want-!' He paused and said, 'But, every time that I REMEMBER stuff, then I feel like my body's aging faster, and-! If only there was...' Then, just as suddenly as he'd exclaimed, he stopped. 'If I REMEMBER...! THAT'S IT! THAT'S HOW I'M GONNA' DO IT!' He grabbed his head and exclaimed, sending his mother for a bewildered loop-de-loop.
'What?!' She asked in surprise, confused as to his sudden profusion of thought which wasn't at all exactly transferred over the dimensional mental pocket of absurd bizzarity, so she was left to fend for herself until he finally stopped long enough for her to get his attention as she grabbed his arms and shouted into his face, 'WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, CATE-DIBBER!?'
Dib just blinked, then became aware that she wasn't actually able to understand all of what he'd just been thinking...and so he began explaining slowly and clearly: but still babbling, 'Well, you see, if my physical-growth and desire to go into metamorphosis is inspired by my romantic feelings, then, with the force of will that I've exercised -AKA, "stubbornness", as Tak calls it- I can just induce a Dissociative Memory Reconstruction of my own making! In other words,' he said as he noticed that his mom was still staring at him, 'I can literally LOCK UP my own emotions and memories of love! It's PERFECT!'
'Oh.' Was all his mom had to say on that matter. Honestly, since she'd never been one, she had no idea if reconstructing one's own memory through sheer force of will and hiding romantic emotions was possible for a cater-boy, and it was an entirely new thought. 'Wait, won't something ever remind you of it?'
'But I can use re-directs for my own thoughts to fall back on, just in case that DOES happen!' Exclaimed Dib. 'It's PERFECT! I'll be able to wait as LONG AS POSSIBLE, just as long as my mental block lasts! AND, if something DOES happen to break it...no, wait! Scratch that, it's an impossibility in my mind! I'll just make sure that the only thing to break it, will be if Tak really wants me, or...!' Then he thought a minute, wondering if this might not be a bad thing. 'Well, perhaps if I want to talk to her, then it'll unblock...but, perhaps...' Then he looked around back at his mom and realized that he'd been unknowingly pacing.
'I guess I can also put in a "dream-talking" stipulation...since I can also talk to anyone in a dream, and I either won't remember it, or...yeah! Yeah, that's good! Okay, then! It's settled!' He felt as if a gigantic, leaden and phosphorous weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he didn't even stop to wonder why it was phosphorous as well as leaden. In fact, he felt absolutely elated...! 'Thanks, Mom! You really saved me!' He exclaimed, turning back around and reaching out for a hug from his rather confused mother.
'Uhmm...it was...nothing...?' She said as she hugged him, wondering all manner of things, but also whether or not this would help him with his nightmares.
'Oh, that's alright!' Explained Dib's head from over her shoulder, 'You see, I'm pretty sure that with all this psychic business, and then the stress from all the family and finding out about it and stuff, and the Men in Black and GIR, and Zim's horrible blob-with-jellied-bones-monster, and with Tak suddenly leaving, I guess I just kept it so pent up, that I finally exploded! Or, er, is that an INNER explosion...?' He thought as he paused a moment. 'In any case, I'll be fine! Now that I've found out what's causing this, I can take care of it!' His mother had to admit, that at this moment he seemed several more times mature than she ever thought he'd be at eleven...! Even though she'd always known that he was a cater-boy, but still...!
He wasn't actually emblazoned with anything that told one what TYPE he was, so there was some shock in the revelation that he was an Alypia oculusmagnus... But, other than that... She was glad that he was still a cater-boy...he was just her little baby, after all...no matter how horrifying and awful he could've turned out, she was absolutely ecstatic that she could see him once more before he was an adult...
Speaking of which, 'Hey, Cate-dibber?...' she asked, still hugging onto him as if her life depended on it. She gave him another little squeeze and said, 'If...you want, you or your sister...you can come...visit me? Again...I don't know how or why, but it feels as if you'll be able to come back to this place, so...I'm...also thinking of a way to get out...I hope to HOPE I can see you and your sister again, soon! So, won't you promise me...?' She'd pulled him out of the hug to look him in the eyes and give his little nose a poke. 'Pretty-please? With sugar and a cherry on top?'
Dib just giggled, almost like a little kid again. 'Sure! I'll DEFINITELY make sure she does, even if I have to SUFFER IMMENSE, UNENDING PAIN to do it!' He said this last part just like his father, so it was his mother's turn to giggle.
'Deal!' She replied, then kissed him and snuggled his head until she was sure that she could actually feel and smell him. The fogginess hadn't begun fading. That was good. She hoped that it was going to last a loooong while. She wanted to make it last. Perhaps, she should take a lesson from her son, and use her extreme stubbornness to get it to listen? She smirked as she considered that, happily fading into the dream of family as the fog and mists got clearer and ever deeper.
Eventually, as all dreams have to, it ended. A smile spread on Dib's lips as he opened his eyes, the dried tears not even gumming up his vision. He wondered how long he'd been out for. Sitting up he found difficult, and as he looked around, he realized that he was in his dad's downstairs laboratory. His dad was lying on the examination table to his right, mumbling in his sleep. Dib looked down and realized that he was strapped down. Huh. Maybe his nightmares had been worse than he'd thought?
"Dad! Hey, HEY! DAD! Wake up!" He exclaimed, shifting and struggling in the straps. He moaned as he laid his head back in exasperation. "Come oooo~nnnn! I'm AWAA-AKE!" Suddenly, there was a gasp from the other side as someone exclaimed with shock, "HE'S AWAKE!"
The straps holding him down were unlocked, and just as they did this, his dad woke up and said, "Mmm...what? Is he up?!" Dib just smirked at this, not even wondering at it as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge. "Good morning! How was your nap?" He said with a Cheshire-like grin and just laughed as his dad looked up and gasped in shock.
"SON!" He exclaimed, rushing over and grabbing him into a hug. It seemed like he was getting an awful lot of hugs from his parents lately... He smirked at their weird similarities and thought about how in the heck he was able to meet with her, when his father started bombarding him with questions. "How are you? Are you okay? How do you feel? Any weirdness or other sensations around your temples, or the back of your head? How many fingers am I holding up? Well, you're smiling, so both sides of your body are functioning...No stroke, no signs of concussion, that's good..." His father was now examining him with his Pen-ray, a personal favorite for ease of diagnosis. He'd invented it himself~!
"I'm fine, really!" Laughed Dib, unusually cheerful. "I'm sorry if I freaked out on ya'; just some pent-up stress and stuff lately, really!" He started moving and waving his arms around, "See?!" His father regarded him with skeptical eyes before finally replying.
"Hhhmmm... Well..." But he was interrupted as several other family-members came barreling in, Grandmaman Muertas at the head, and almost covering him in kisses. Literally. He was almost smothered to death!
{Oh, thank squeeble-snorchs! You're awake!} Exclaimed the Computer in exhausted relief. She was sure that it was exaggerating, but a quick check to her PAK revealed otherwise. {Do you KNOW how long you were out?! 38 hours and 47 minutes! THIRTY-EIGHT HOURS! I almost considered putting you into a MEDICAL FACILITY!} It ranted again, continuing to worry her, far more than those freaky nightmares. (A/N: Let's pretend like it was translated from Irken Time.)
"Nightmares...?!" Mumbled Tak as she leaned up from the Medical Stasis tube she'd been lying in. Apparently, they'd put her into it after she conked out. "Man ak, that was weird...!" She mumbled again as she checked the medical read-outs. "Computer, what do you know about 'nightmares'?"
{"Nightmares?!"} Exclaimed the computer once again. {Oh, no! Don't tell me that your visualization-feed malfunctioned!?} It stated, referring to a certain part of her PAK. It was certainly a pertinent question. {What do you need to know? Although I was able to take some information from the human's computers, there's not much reference to dreams. Nightmares are simply very scary dreams, so... If it was a scary visual experience, then perhaps we should check your PAK, first?}
"Hhhm..." Tak thought, putting a hand on her chin, "I'm not sure...It reminded me of when I was ...!" Then, suddenly, a wave of knowledge hit her like a ton of bricks. "Oh." Was all she said.
{Sir...?! Sir?!} Questioned the computer worriedly, wondering why her face had suddenly lost all emotion and looked as if she was seeing another one of those scary visualizations. {You're not experiencing another visualization-feed malfunction, are you?!}
"No, no," Tak said hurriedly, shaking her head to keep that thought out. "I'm fine, but... I guess I'll need to run a full physical on my PAK...just to make sure it isn't...that..."
{You don't mean...?} Asked the computer, and the SIR-Unit Mimi stared up at her as well, worriedly.
"I'm not sure...I'm not sure..." mumbled Tak. She was still hopeful that it was a problem with her PAK, and not what she suspected it to be. After all...
Wasn't that why she'd left in the first place?
Health and Fitness examinations weren't entirely questionable; in fact, if she noticed it first, then there was a good chance that the Control Brains would be lenient...or something. She just wished it wasn't what she was sure it was... Just once, she wished that the universe would bend to her own will. Just once...!
The universe promptly snorted at this and ignored it...
Eventually all the excitement calmed down, and it was a while before Dib could finally think about what had happened. As he sat down in his computer-chair for a pleasant moment of silence, he felt something hit against his leg. He reached into his pocket and pulled out...what looked like...oh! So THAT was how it happened! 'I get the feeling that Gaz has something to do with this!' He snickered to himself as he pulled up the necessary files on his computer. "Computer, let's get to work! I get the feeling I've been putting off that report to the Swollen Eyeballs for far too long!"
His computer was practically agog with how he was acting, and actually gasped, the A.I. running a little avatar in circles on the page, {HEY! Just what in the HECK are you, and WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM!?} And then it stopped and explained, {I mean, DIB. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM!?}
Dib just laughed until he choked and said, "I'm sorry, but it would take waaayyy too long to explain! For now, let's just say that I'm...the OLD Dib!"
{What...?!} It asked as it tried desperately to figure heads or tails of his bizarre twist in mood after falling into a dream-coma for about two days. It finally gave up, and decided to wait until he wasn't laughing like a hyena to get the real and full explanation!
But, in the meantime, Dib had paused in what he was doing, then saved and exited out of all the programs. {Wait, are you stopping again?} It asked, since every single time he'd previously started to work on his report, he'd stopped after the first sentence.
"For now. I almost forgot to do something, first," he replied as he jumped up, the small compact in hand, and ran around to his sister's door.
He knocked, and found that the door was partially-open. That usually meant that she was waiting for their little dog, Herman, to come back in. But, this time, she said, "The door's open. You can come on in." Just as if she was expecting him. Huh! He didn't bother to ponder on this, as he stepped around the edge.
"Hey...wait, you're not Skall!" She exclaimed, and he for once wasn't sure whether she was being sarcastic or just honestly wasn't paying any attention to who was outside her door.
He decided not to bother with that, and instead told her, "Hey, thanks for the help! I sure owe you one." He didn't even get upset with the thought that she might possibly be able to cash in on this favor, BIG TIME. Since, he most likely would've been stuck inside that nightmare-world for good, and for once, it wouldn't have been her who'd caused it! Gaz just cracked open a little squinted eye, the same kind of eyes that their mother had -and he realized just how similar they really looked.
"You're welcome. But it was just 'cause I couldn't get ANY good game-time in with all that commotion downstairs about your STUPID coma of night-terrors!" Then she growled, "I was EVEN dragged DOWNSTAIRS to help play HOSTESS by Uncle BINNIE!" Her evident displeasure at having to play hostess to anyone was obvious; his little sister didn't like having to serve others. She preferred to be waited on. Hand-and-foot. Dismembered hand-and-foot, if necessary!
"Yeah, well, Mom said to tell you to come visit her anytime; here! Catch!" Then he tossed said compact and Gaz caught it with mysterious ease, even though his aim was off by a good foot and a half.
Gaz eyed it as though it was the most mysterious thing she'd ever held in her hands, but simply looked up after a moment and said, "You may GO now."
"I'm goin'! I'm gettin' hungry..." Dib mumbled this last part as he left the room, the door creaking to almost shut of its own accord. When he got into the hallway, he stopped, and then made a turn to go back into his room. Leaning against the door, he looked around at it and said, "Sheesh, I really let this place go!" Because it really, literally, was as close to looking like a pig-sty as he'd ever seen it.
He started to pick up his clothes and toss the half-eaten food that had gone in all sorts of different places in the trash, before picking up a small file-folder. Opening it up, he found the pictures and data that he'd been collecting during his time cooperating with Tak. His face was strangely emotionless as he stared at one of their pictures, a "VICTORY!" picture out in front of the Men in Black's headquarters. He couldn't feel anything about it, and yet, he was sure that he used to...
He felt hollow...strangely numb, as he stared at the fun picture. Even Tak had been grinning: the excitement of finally kicking their collective butts was just too much fun for even her to ruin with teasing, and he was grinning like a Cheshire-cat with two fingers up in a "PEACE!" and "V for VICTORY!" sign all at once! He almost wanted to know what it was like to feel so strangely upset at losing a friend that he was absolutely a mess...
Then he just smirked and put it back into the folder. Of course he'd miss her. She was his only friend, apart from his sister; and apparently, siblings don't really count on the friendship-scale...
Of course. They were friends...
He felt a faint pang of pain as he thought this, but was quick to dismiss it.
He really needed to eat!
...
"Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain"
By EZFG, VY2 and VY1 (English Translation)
VY2: What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
Oh, it hurts, the pain's so bad
Why does it hurt as bad as this?
Ah, I want to tell you how bad it hurts
I want you to be the only one to know
Oh, it's awful, so very awful
Why does it feel as awful as this?
I want you, it's you I want
The pain's right here in my chest...
Yes, I was the one who did it
Yes, I've wounded myself
It goes away naturally if I leave it be
But this pain just keeps coming back
When I close my eyes, all I know
Are the things I can't see
It's unreasonable to the extreme
Someone must know my anguish...
VY1: Don't come near, don't come near
Don't let it get you so excited
Don't mind it, don't mind it
Just stop shouting your head off
Go away, go away, yes
I'll disappear into thin air soon enough
So feign normalacy and put up with...
...it
VY2: Oh, it hurts, the pain's so bad
Why does it hurt as bad as this?
Ah, I want to tell you how bad it hurts
I want you to be the only one to know
Ah, it's awful, it's awful
Why does it feel as awful as this?
I want you, it's you that I want
The pain's right here in my chest...
Well, it's happened again
I can't pin down the cause
I'm being hit with a big one now
The pain's an aching, a throbbing, a buzzing...
If I keep quiet, no one will know
No one but me will have a clue
So I won't shout, I won't cause chaos
And I'll keep leading an uneventful life...
VY1: Yes, that's right, yes, that's right
Just put up with it, and it'll clear right up
Just do that, just do that
Just keep fooling yourself with that
Fly away, fly away, well
I'll send a sign from my side
Bluffing all the time is so tiring, isn't...
...it?
CHORUS: With the brain, one can make even pain into pleasure
Greedy from the boundless possibility, they'll want to do it all
BUT
Getting into a rut looking back
Re-winding back through time
Slow-motion replaying the good parts
Trying to avoid God-
-It can't be done
VY1: Your pain, yes, your pain- what is it that it's hiding?
If it can't be done, if it can't be done, of course you'll seek help...
...right?
Soon, yes, soon enough
My duty, too, will be concluded
Because finally, finally
I'll be able to liberate you
But, hm, yes, let's see
Since you'll want to remember at times
I'll show myself again when you've forgotten
So don't get too full of yourself
And take just the slightest bit of care...
...'Kay?
VY2: It's gone, it's nowhere now
I can't find it anywhere at all
The pain's all gone now
No more hardship at all
You're gone, you're nowhere now
I can't find you anywhere at all
But the pain should be gone with you
And the hardship should be gone...!
It still hurts, why does it hurt?
What could be paining me so terribly?
This is just what I was waiting for
So what about it feels so unfulfilling?
Oh, it hurts, the pain's so bad
What hurts so much this time?
It shouldn't hurt anymore, but...
The pain's right here in my chest...
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?
What's hurting me? Why does it hurt?
Why am I so hurting to hurt?