There was an icy wind howling around the Square when the 74th Victory Tour arrived in District 2. Just as they did every year, the people gathered sullenly in the freezing air and stared mutinously up at the stage. I stood between Domitius and the Head Trainer Priscus and I stared back at them. They had given me the choice to stand on the stage as a mentor, or down in the crowd as a family member. I had weighed up the choice and decided that of my mistakes, fewer of them had been as mentor than sister, and so that was where I stood.
Priscus tried once to engage me in conversation and then turned his attentions elsewhere. To my relief, though he stood less than a foot from me, Domitius did not even glance my way. I didn't know what to feel towards him anymore. There was too much suffering for Junia's words to make the anger vanish, but they kept coming back to me in the dark of night when there was no other distraction.
I just wanted the Victory Tour to be over.
That creature, the girl from District 12, was going to be sharing this stage with me in mere minutes and still I dreamed of nothing more than ripping out her throat. The only thing that kept my feet planted where they were was the thousands of upturned faces. If I snapped and slaughtered Fire Girl on the stage they would all see my destruction. They would know I was asking for death with Peacekeepers thronging the Square, and they would know how much I was hurting to do something that reckless. They would know that I didn't care anymore.
There had only ever been two things that kept me alive. One was Clove. And the other was my pride. And even though one had gone it seemed the other stubbornly refused to follow.
To distract myself from my seething, I ran my gaze over the crowd. The quarry workers and miners were looking even skinner and dirtier this year. And there seemed to be twice as many Peacekeepers as normal. I hadn't had any interest in the events of Panem since the Games so I had no idea what could have inspired such numbers, especially in this district.
Briefly, my gaze flickered to where the families of the tributes had been given a small stage in the middle of the crowd. The Capitol liked its Victors to have to look the families in the eye. Usually the two families huddled together at opposite ends. Only one had I seen the stage full in one, unanimous gathering of grief. Three years ago, when Johanna had won, Tobias and Milena had left behind a single family. I hadn't found out until after the Games that they had been cousins. On the day of the Victory Tour, I still remembered my unexpected tug of guilt at the sight of their large, sprawling family, all with the same pale skin and dark hair as the two dead teenagers. That day their family had been doubly grieving.
I didn't expect the stage to hold many people this year. Clove and I had never known family. If we had aunts and uncles then they had split from my parents many years ago and our grandparents were all dead. Amica had been born in District 1 and I had never seen any of her husband's family. Our two fragile families hadn't been able to afford the losses we'd been forced to bear.
My breath caught in my throat when I lay eyes on Amica.
She stood in the centre of the stage, straddling the invisible lines between the families. Her two remaining sons stood guard on either side of her. On her left Aron looked older and more solemn than I ever remembered and Taras on her right was glaring at his feet.
My chest ached. The three of them looked so strong. They looked as though they could face the lovers of District 12 and the Capitol and the entire District. Amica had been a better mother to Clove and I than our own. Her sons had been brothers to Clove as she grew up. She may not have been able to forgive me for Cato's death, but Amica didn't extend her blame to Clove and that made my whole body hurt. She wasn't going to let Clove be represented by an empty stage.
They gave me the courage I needed when Fire Girl and Lover Boy eventually walked onto the stage. I couldn't look in their direction but every nerve in my body hummed with the knowledge that that were feet away. My blood pulsed with the desire to kill them both, to make them pay for their victory. They both stood there - worthless, liars, undeserving. They had taken Clove and Cato's places on the Victor's podium and for what? Because they could parade Katniss' frail little sister on the Capitol's screens and pretend to be in love? I hoped they knew how unworthy they were of life. I hoped they would soon find out exactly what the cost of Victory was and I hope it would rip apart their souls.
There was more hatred directed toward the winners in the crowd than usual. I wasn't the only one who resented the couple their win, that much was obvious.
Everdeen gave her speech from some pieces of card in her hand. She sounded like one of the automatons in the Capitol that greeted you with a recorded message. She spoke of the Capitol's generosity and the vitality of District 2. She told us we were strong, indispensible parts in the machine of Panem. She said that our tributes had showed those qualities in their fight.
I set my jaw and conjured the image of her stuck up a tree, Clove and the other Careers prowling the base. It had been a fluke that she survived. Anyone who believed that she had won based on skill or worthiness was delirious.
I stood and glared at her back as she stepped aside from the microphone to scattered, unenthusiastic applause. She was nothing. She was a girl who knew nothing of the world, of hardship, or pain or suffering. The Capitol had her painted as a tragic hero, a lover, a sister, but she was just a coward who let other people die for her. There was absolutely nothing special about Katniss Everdeen and I was going to prove it when I ripped the arteries from her throat and let her blood fly into the wind.
A/N: Sorry everyone for the long delay and short chapter. The next one will be not far away and it is longer.
I'm glad that you liked my portrayals of Cashmere and Johanna. Interesting that a few of you had guessed who Allure was. Keep up the comments, it's so good to hear what you think!
-Lu