Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! To the guest reviewer who asked if 'tranny' was a slur...yes and no. It can be used in a derogatory manner. However, I've seen in re-appropriated in reference to FTM young boyish types...I've been called a 'tranny boy' in the past with a good connotation implied. That is how it was intended in the last chapter. Sorry for the confusion.
Anyway, here's chapter 23 :)
The light was harsh along with the sound of the curtains being slid open. Emma groaned as she rolled over, burying her face under the pillow.
"Five minutes," she mumbled, unsure of who was waking her.
"No, Emma," Snow said, "Now. I already let you sleep an extra hour. We need to get on the road!"
Emma opened her eyes a few times, trying to adjust to the light. "What time is it?"
Snow sat beside her and handed her a coffee as she began to sit up in bed. "Ten-thirty," she said softly.
Emma gratefully took a sip of the warm coffee. As she did, she started to remember the disaster that was last night. "Did Kate leave?" she asked.
Snow looked sympathetic, but her compassion was for the younger girl. "She did," she answered, "last night."
"Did she say anything?"
"Just that she was concerned about you," Snow said. "I think she assumed your fight had to do with custody issues or some unresolved tensions brought up by the wedding."
Emma drank more of her coffee. "I think she willfully turns a blind eye."
Snow seemed surprised. "Why would she do that?"
Placing her coffee down on the nightstand, Emma reached for her jeans and pulled them on. "She enjoys spending time with me," she began, "but she's always known I still have feelings for Regina. Funny thing is, she's never asked me to make a choice—I think she knows what mine would be if I had the option."
"Then why does she stay with you?" Snow asked.
She pulled on her sweater and searched for wherever Snow had put her jacket. "I think she's just down for the ride," Emma answered as she pulled on the leather, "for however long it lasts."
Her mother watched her as she fumbled around to find her toothbrush. "And what about you, Emma?" she said, hoping her words carried some shame. "Are you going to tell her?"
Emma stopped brushing and looked herself square in the mirror. She had considered telling Kate once they were back in Boston, after the wedding, with the intention of breaking things off. But now, knowing everything between her and Regina was absolutely over, she had second thoughts. She knew she'd end up talking it through with Neal, and most likely decide to tell Kate everything. But the conversation would no longer be to breakup with her. She'd just state the facts—what happened from there, she'd leave up to Kate.
Emma didn't say a word. She simply looked at Snow through the mirror and nodded.
Regina awoke just an hour prior to the sound of knocking on her hotel room door. She looked over to the side of the bed, confirming she was alone. She saw he had left her a note, thanking her for a lovely evening and offering his number. She remembered inviting the performer from the club up to her room. But after the two of them made out for awhile on the bed, she kindly apologized and asked him to leave. He had been a perfect gentleman, kissing her on the cheek before heading out.
She pulled on her robe before going to the door. When she opened it, she saw Kathryn was standing in front of her, tapping her foot.
"We need to leave soon," her friend said.
Regina motioned for her to come in as she changed. Kathryn kept speaking as Regina moved around the room. As she gathered her clothing, she could feel a lecture coming on.
"Before you judge me for last night," Regina said as she began to wipe off her makeup, "I shouldn't have to remind you that you encouraged me to enjoy my night."
"Enjoy your night—yes," Kathryn nodded. "Get completely smashed, mock her girlfriend with your snarky little quips, and then almost start fingering the dancer in front of her—no, I didn't tell you to do that."
Regina merely shrugged her shoulders as if it wasn't a big deal. "None of it would have happened if she didn't invite little Miss Jailbait."
Kathryn put her arm against the doorway of the bathroom, holding Regina in to get her attention. "Need I remind you that 'little Miss Jailbait' is her girlfriend," she said. "You are the other woman, here."
Regina scowled at this. Instinctively, she felt possessive. She was with Emma first, so any girl after felt like a threat. But she knew deep down that Kathryn was right.
"Correction," Regina said softly. "I was the other woman." She averted her gaze downward, not to let Kathryn see the pain that they both knew was there. "It's over now."
Kathryn nodded, though uncertain if she believed Regina. She had said the same thing so many times about Emma. So many times she had insisted she was done with Emma Swan. Yet she also knew Regina was dealing with enough to continue balancing this love-hate relationship. And as Kathryn watched Regina cover the slight bags under her eyes with fresh makeup, she knew it had begun to take its physical toll.
Both the black Mercedes and the yellow bug traveled back to Storybrooke in relative silence. Neither the passengers nor the two drivers really cared to reflect on the events of the previous night. Their memories, which plagued their minds during the repetitious highway drive, were enough of a nag. That, combined with hangovers of varying degrees and the knowledge that they still had the rehearsal dinner to get through, would prove a challenge to their will power.
After a long drive, Snow and Emma came into the apartment to be greeted by Blue, Henry, and David. Emma sank into the couch instantly, taking comfort in the excitement from her unconditionally loving puppy. David, seeing his daughter's melancholic state, looked to his wife.
Snow put up her hand. "You don't even want to know, so don't ask." He pursed his lips and nodded.
Henry barreled into the living room. "Hey, Ma!" he cried, as he hugged Emma. "You okay?"
"Just fine, kid," she said in a tone that reflected anything but.
David sat down beside his daughter and the pup. "Are you going to get ready for the rehearsal dinner?" he asked, wondering if whatever had happened was enough to make her want to skip it.
She tried to choke back tears. He took her hand. "Come on," he said, "let's go outside."
It wasn't long after she lit her cigarette that Emma told her father everything that had happened. He remained silent as she spoke in-between inhales of the toxins.
"I was silly," she finally said, after giving her father the details, "I deluded myself into believing that Regina and I could have the kinda love like—"
"Like your mother and I have?" Charming suggested.
Emma nodded. "I mean, when things are good, they're amazing," she explained. "When things are bad—well, no one can hurt me like she can." She laughed a bit after this. "The funny thing is, no matter which it is, I always feel this intense pull toward her."
David sighed. "Emma, I think you have this idea that everything with your mother and I is sunshine and rainbows—"
She smirked at him, as if to confirm her belief. Charming shook his head. "It takes a lot of work for us sometimes, believe it or not." He paused for a moment or two. "I'm not saying that I think you should or shouldn't be with Regina," he clarified. "I am saying that this whole up and down, back and forth—it's driving you both insane and you need to stop. Whatever you do decide, be sure about it and don't go back."
Emma smiled at her father's advice, although it wasn't terribly helpful. But now was not the time to say, 'No shit, Sherlock,'—she was running out of people who would be willing to hear her drama, and at least her father was still lending an ear.
But as she got dressed for the rehearsal, she thought more about what he said. Maybe it wasn't entirely useless.
"People, please," Mother Superior shouted, clapping her hands such that the sound echoed throughout the church. "Forty-five degree angle facing out toward the audience."
"This is never gonna end," Ruby said through her teeth as she held her position, looking at Kathryn.
"It will," Kathryn said, "if you can remember your vows this time."
The entire wedding party had now run through the ceremony three times, this being their fourth. Between Henry's inability to count his steps, Gold's confusion about which side to stand on, and David's coughing, they hadn't gotten through once without making a few blunders. And the head nun was not about to allow mistakes.
"Posture, people!"
The worst part about all of it was that Emma had to directly face Regina, having only about five feet of space of distance from the woman. She averted her eyes, dodging the brunette's gaze, but the task proved almost impossible. It was as though a little voice in her head would say, 'don't look, don't look—ah, you looked," and then she'd be horrified by the smile that escaped. Regina caught these glimpses. They only made her roll her eyes and huff a bit, hoping this would be over soon.
After getting it right on the fifth go around, they were free to go off to the rehearsal dinner. Emma ran back to the dressing room, alongside Belle. Neither had realized that a certain brunette was behind them.
"Ah, finally!" Belle cried out as she unzipped her gown.
"I know," Emma laughed, "if I had to hear her shout about posture one more time, I would have walked out."
Emma began to unbutton her shirt as she searched for her other dress shirt and tie. "Now off to more planned gatherings."
Belle chuckled, throwing on an evening dress. "Yeah, well," she sighed, "at least some of it is fun." She moved to help Emma straighten her tie. "Tell me, what about you and all this stuff?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," Belle looked at Emma as the blonde checked herself in the mirror. "You and a wedding—your wedding. You think you'll marry Kate?"
At the sound of the statement, Regina froze, not about to enter the room with the two of them discussed such matters. Instead, she held her garments tight to her chest as she hid behind a pillar.
"Kate's not the marrying kind," Emma answered. "She said so herself—she doesn't believe in it."
"Oh," Belle answered, slightly exaggerating the vowel. "Well, what about you? Does that mean you don't want to get married?"
There was a long silence. Regina's heart pounded through her chest as she processed every new piece of information. She began to feel a need to take a deep breath, but covered her mouth, not wanting to let out a sound.
"Me? Get married?" Emma reiterated. A short pause followed. "If I was with the right woman." She had meant to say it nonchalantly, as if to imply that yes, indeed she would marry if she met the right woman. What she said was distinctly different. Her emphasis on the word 'right' made it sound as if there was a dichotomy—as if she was with the wrong woman, but there was, in fact, 'the right woman', and who that was sounded as if it should be very clear.
Regina fled upon hearing this. She didn't have time to think. She just needed to leave.
The diner was much more peaceful than anything Emma had expected. People were laughing, drinking and talking. The planning anxiety was over and now it was time to let loose and rest on the night before the big day. She allowed herself to use the white noise of the party as a backdrop for her thinking. She bit her lip as she thought back to Belle's question. Never before had she realized that she would actually want to get married. But when she envisioned the woman she'd walk down the aisle to meet, it was never and would never be Kate.
Regina seemed far from such contemplative thoughts. Or so it appeared as Emma watched her from across the room. She was laughing hysterically as David told her stories, smiling back and forth. Emma smiled too. Just seeing her light up was enough.
"May I have your attention, everyone," Emma said, clanking her champagne flute. As the crowd quieted down, she began to speak. "So, Ruby chose me to be her best man," she began her speech. "She told me later, 'who better than the product of true love to give a speech'."
Emma turned to look at her mother and father. "I gotta say, being the daughter of these two kinda fucks with my head about the idea," she added, "I mean, how do you compete with Prince Charming and Snow White?"
The crowd laughed as Snow blushed and David grinned.
"I think it gave me this idea that love is supposed to have a look," Emma continued, as she glanced around. "You know, inseparable, always at each other's side, finishing each other's sentences, telling each other that you'll always find each other." The room filled with laughter as she mimicked the eye fluttering that her parents were known for doing.
Emma smiled herself. "That's all well and good," she said, "But it's kind of boring." Emma moved over to where Ruby and Kathryn stood in each other's arms. "Then I look at these two—they go on like one date, end up engaged, they bicker like dogs and cats," she said, and looked to Ruby, "Or should I say wolves and lions, right?"
Ruby laughed as she held Kathryn tighter.
"But then, they have a way with each other," Emma continued, "it's like they know how to be there for each other—sometimes without having to say a word." Emma emphasized the last part, expressing her envy of that kind of connection.
"I thought about that tonight," she said, looking down at the floor, "that speechless connection. It comes from lots of talking. Lots of yelling. Lots of crying." Kathryn nodded, admitting truth to it.
Emma looked up, this time, staring across the room. Her eyes met Regina's. "I haven't figured out yet what happens to make that transition from wild emotions to that connection," she added, "but these two have. And I gotta say, I hope one day I can figure it out too."
She saw a tear roll down Regina's cheek. She quickly averted her gaze back to the happy couple. "To Ruby and Kathryn—may you always keep fighting for each other."
The crowd echoed the cheers as glasses clanked and people clapped. Ruby kissed Kathryn and then wiped her eyes. Kathryn mouthed a thank you to Emma, who returned the gesture with a nod.
As she stepped away, she looked back in the crowd, hoping maybe to catch Regina. But she was gone.
An hour or so later, Emma returned back to the apartment with her parents and Henry—given that Regina had apparently left the party. As they climbed the stairs to the door, still laughing about Granny's stories about Ruby as a kid, Emma felt a draft.
"Shit," she said, running up the remaining steps. "The door's wide open!"
"Oh no," Snow cried, "it's been doing that lately. David, you said you were going to fix it!"
"Been busy with the wedding stuff, Snow."
Henry and Emma rushed into the drafty apartment searching for the puppy. But he was nowhere to be found.
"Blue!" Emma cried as she searched in each room. "Where are you, Blue Boy?" She bent down to pick up one of his half gnawed apples, sighing as she did.
Henry emerged from his grandparents' room. "He's not here," he moaned.
Emma grabbed his leash. "Mom, you wait here with Henry in case he's smart enough to wander home," she said, knowing it was unlikely. "Dad, let's go searching."
Emma and David pounded the pavement as they called out for the dog. They looked everywhere they could think.
"He couldn't have gone too far," David said in reassurance.
Emma chuckled. "No, not with his coordination."
They had reached the docks. Emma was just about to give up for the night, until she saw Archie and Pongo.
"Hey guys," Emma said, running over to meet them. "You haven't seen Blue, have you?"
"Haven't seen her since the rehearsal dinner," Archie answered.
David shook his head. "Not Mother Superior. Blue—Emma's German Shepard puppy."
"Oh!" Archie said raising his eyebrows. "Yes, he and Pongo made friends just a little while ago. I was going to try and get him, but he made off quickly."
"Oh," Emma slumped in disappointment.
"He seemed to be barreling down Mifflin Street," Archie said, "almost as if he was headed somewhere. Huge grin and tongue flapping in the wind."
"Like owner, like puppy," David mumbled under his breath.
Emma chuckled deeply as she and her father looked at one another, instantly knowing where Blue had gone.
"He really is your dog, isn't he?" David asked, smiling wide.
"Yep," Emma sighed. "I got it from here. Thanks, Archie. Dad—I'll see you home."