Pain and Rejection

Summary: Loki accept the fact he's betrothed to the Asgardian prince but his heart keeps being rejected and shredded by Thor at his mere dismissal of him than the many lovers he taken. Finally all comes to much when Thor makes his declaration of Love for Jane which is the last straw for Loki. Unseen how weak he becomes he is soon staying away from his family to keep what's left safe.

Warnings: AU, mention arranged marriage, infidelities, unrequited feelings, Loki Angst, Hurt! Loki, insecure Loki, background Sexual content

Feeling the heavy weight in his heart, Loki Odinson knowing the truth that may be his name since its part of the deal of the betrothed set long before he could remember between Aseir and Jotuns. He's to one day marrying Thor the man he admires in the distance.

He shivers feeling the pain in his heart twinge as a gasp escape his looks. His head feels foggy suddenly. He moans holding his head gritting his teeth. Damn it to hell it's happening again. Tears form in the corner of his eyes.

"THOR!" A woman shouts from the bedroom of his betroth and brother's room making it clear it's one of his conquests.

Loki trembles. While he admires Thor its completely different for the blond. He all but ignores Loki. Rather indifferent and even gone as rejecting Loki's presence. He made it rather clear he prefer those something to take and beautiful. Loki knows Thor's looks are handsome than those around. He's strong and brave. He is a good provider and excellent warrior.

The pain in his heart sharpens making his breath taken away and darkness is at the edges of his vision. His body feels weak and cold. He pulls himself to his feet staggering to his room. How much more can he take? He barely handles the conquests of other Aseirs hitting on Thor and he just beds them. Would things get worse if the day come when Thor falls for someone other than him?

-Several Years Later-

Loki pushes the food on his plate as thin frame goes more unnoticed while feeling a little nauseous. He gives his mother a bare smile as Thor eats with gusto after arriving back from Midgard. Apparently this dinner will announce some news. Could he finally be ready to settle down and marry? Loki finds his heart rising with hope. There been times now that Thor and he would have their unions but it seem only when Thor is high with battle lust and needs an outlet. He never stays at all much less now.

"Mother, Father I come with great news," Thor announces finishing the last of his mead grinning ear to ear.

"What is it son," Odin ask calmly.

"I found the one I love," Thor announces happily missing the shared looks between the parents as Loki feels hope and dread.

"Who is it dear," Frigga questions feeling a bit happy for her son.

"Her name is Lady Jane and I fallen for her. She's the most beautiful woman on Midgard." Thor said happily as a dopey grin falls on his lips.

It's at that moment where it becomes the last straw for the raven. He quickly excuses himself leaving the room held high until he reaches his room. Only there in private that he lets the tears fall. How he waited and hopes that Thor would see him. Hasn't he forgotten the betrothal between them? Now he be stuck leaving the only home he has known along with the family he grown up with. He lies on his bed sighing. Now Thor is out of his grasps. Food and necessities seen to be a hassle now not even to worry about.

The news meet with joy and many celebrations. The line will continue. Unknown or even noticing no one question Loki's mysterious disappearance. Many assume he gone off on a binge of learning something new. It seems rather nice and comfortable. It would also mean hopefully a future wedding down the road. Many forgotten of the betrothal between the princes as it slip out of mind.

It wasn't until Thor notice several weeks later of the missing presence of his brother. He sighs figuring to go check on his brother. He head to the rooms pushing the door finding a very thin and weaken Loki gazing at the ceiling with glazed eyes.

"Loki," Thor calls appalled at the sight of the younger male. "What happen to you?"

He walks to the bed seeing the sunken cheeks and bright eyes almost lifeless.

"Brother speak."

"Hm?"

the first sign of life sends relief pass his heart as those eyes turn to his blue ones. His breath catches seeing the dead look.

"Have you forgotten you stupid oaf," Loki sighs closing those eyes tear stains apparent on his cheeks.

"What?" Thor ask confused.

"Our betrothal stupid fool!" Loki snarls lifelessly wishing the blond to leave him be. "I figure as not with your precious little Jane. Really she is Midgardian they don't leave long. Their lives is only a blink of an eye."

Thor feels his anger raising.

"Shut it Loki! I never asked for this betrothal between us," Thor snaps as his next words make things worse. "It's hanging much of a noose around my neck."

"I see," Loki said heart breaking completely. "Leave me."

"Loki," Thor said only for a hand to be just lift off the bed silencing him.

Grinding his teeth, Thor turns around storming out the room not once hearing the soft broken sobs from Loki's lips. All the blond wish to be in his Jane's loving arms. Thor continues walking until he reaches Heimdall requesting him to take him to Midgard where his Jane is.

The silent man nods sending him through the Bifrost feeling a sense of foreboding but only sighs. It's not his place to say such matters to his future king.

Upon Earth Jane's voice calling his name is much like a soothing balm. He sweeps her up in his arm happy to see her. He kisses her lips as her soft moans urges him on. He growls possessively carrying her away much to those around's surprise before cleaning up as it is an early day than. All too soon they are in Jane's room and clothes scatters along the way to the bed where Thor lays her down kissing and pleasuring the woman.

In the back of his mind he feels a niggle of doubt but tries to ignore it. As he kisses downwards down the valley he shivers as her hands scraps down his back. Soon its Loki's image he's seeing below him. The throaty moan sends heat to his arousing cock and he bites his lips. He tries to shake it off. He kisses Jane again and once more seeing Loki behind closed lids. The kiss normally perfect suddenly feels wrong. Everything feels wrong really.

Thor pulls away grimacing and running an agitated hand through his blond locks. Jane looks up at him with concern.

"Thor?"

He loves her voice but at the moment it's not the one he wishes to hear. No he rather hear the rasp of Loki's tenor voice as it vibrates down his skin and the way his name sound off those lips.

"Aye…I can't Jane," Thor stammers scrambling off the bed not looking at Jane as she watches him with hurt while changing back into his clothes running out of the room calling for Heimdall to bring him back to Asgard.

He needs to see Loki. He has to know if a single kiss from him means more to him than Jane's. His heart hammers in his chest. Soon the colorful beam surrounds him bringing him back. He gives a quick nod of thanks before rushing all the way back to the palace where Loki is currently hiding in his room sighing witlessly.

He skids in only to see enraged green eyes full of pain and hurt. He goes over kissing Loki only to have him pull away punching him in the jaw causing him to step back.

"Why did you kiss me," Loki snarls pink in his cheek as humiliation settles in his belly.

"I had to see something," Thor answer dazedly know having his eyes open.

It's not Jane he loves as he thought. No its Loki. His Loki he hurt so dearly.

"Forgive me Loki," Thor pleads only to have Loki to laugh harshly.

"Why so you can reject me even more? No I rather find another to love me than you," Loki answers tears streaming back down feeling still weak but struggles somewhat to get out of his bed to take a well needed shower.

He needs to regain his strength so he can face a future for himself it seems. The familiar sick feeling he has for the last several weeks comes back up making it the time hard to eat. He only manage to have bread and water down at most if he's lucky. He has a feeling what it is the cause but right now isn't the time. He leaves Thor behind him staring agape unable to believe that Loki just rejects him.